8
Aptitude
Think before you speak. Read before you think.
—Fran Lebowitz
Are you curious? Answer the following questions “true” or “false”:
1. Every day I wake up and wonder what new adventure might await.
2. I marvel at the vast differences in people and want to learn what makes them tick.
3. I try to learn one new word each day just because it’s fun.
4. When I take in the news of the day, I move beyond my TV or newspaper and do more background reading on something I read or hear that intrigues me.
5. I engage at least one person a day in conversation that isn’t centered on my needs.
If you answered any of the above questions “false,” it’s time to get your curiosity back in check! Welcome to Aptitude.
My mother grew up being called “nebby,” which is Scotch-Irish for “nosey.” She had an intense curiosity about everything. Well into her late 70s, she decided to learn everything there was to know about football because she was getting tired of not understanding what all the Denver Bronco fans around her were always talking about. “If you can’t lick ’em, join ’em,” was her mantra. There was no Internet at the time; she had to go to the library to read everything she could. Oh, and she had macular degeneration and could only see with her peripheral vision. But that didn’t stop her. Her curiosity, her desire to learn, was insatiable. Ultimately, she became a huge Broncos fan and remained one until the day she died in her late 80s.
I inherited that sense of curiosity from her. I can’t imagine traveling through life without looking around and wondering about things. It could be something so seemingly ordinary, like the pattern of bark on a Norwegian Elm, or the cloud formations in the summer sky. Even cracks in the sidewalk intrigue me and make me want to learn more about the world and all the little details that make it work. Not everyone is like this, though my worry is about people who have no curiosity at all.
Curiosity and a desire to learn are essential to your success. People who go through life with their nose pressed to the grindstone don’t get anything out of life. They live like machines that perform their function, burn out, and then get replaced by new machines.
I want more than that for you!
In this chapter, I will show you how to embrace your sense of curiosity and nurture it. I’m going to coach you to use that sense of curiosity we’re all born with to go after the knowledge you need to get ahead.
I’m not saying it’s time to leave your job and go back to school. There are so many ways you can expand your mind (and your horizons) and in just minutes a day. It all starts with training yourself to become curious again.
Words From the Wise—Michael Mastro
Broadway Actor/Director/Career Coach
Building Your Brain
I’ve become increasingly interested in the creative power of the human mind. Over the last century, numerous philosophies, teachings, books—whole movements—have appeared with the purpose of awakening people to the remarkable power of thought and intention. Some are more rational in tone, and some are more mystical/miracle-minded in their thinking. Either way, science has proven that a person’s mental focus and patterns of thought absolutely affect his or her autonomic nervous system. This, in turn, affects the way we feel and experience life during the course of our days, and that monumentally affects our energy levels, our sense of well-being, and ultimately, the way we interact with the world. Our successes in that world are deeply dependent upon the quality of our interaction with it. Research some of these practices and see what works for you.
I encourage any personal work that helps us to take full responsibility for our minds and the way we use them. Prayer and meditation are age-old practices, but exploring the use of other more recently developed practices, like affirmative thought, hypnosis, visualization, Emotional Freedom Techniques (tapping), and so forth, can lead to a more conscious ownership of one’s mind, and to the responsible and creative use of it.
Curiosity Killed the…Self-Sabotage
Yes, it’s true. Curious people do not self-sabotage themselves. Curious people grow in knowledge and experience, and as a result, in success.
Years ago, I had some friends, the Dibbles, whose curiosity of all places known was so great that they devoted all their free time to travel. In their home, a 10-foot-by-12-foot map of the world hung on the wall, and every few months one of them would close their eyes and stick a pin into the map to decide their next trip. By the time they hit their 70s, they had traveled most everywhere.
They’d come back from these long trips, sometimes three months long, and put together a slide show, which they called “Dibble Logs,” that they shared with the community.
I always found the Dibbles’ curiosity about the world so remarkable. They started the process by sticking a pin in a map, but once they knew where they were headed, they took great pride in learning everything they could about the culture, the country, and the customs—and this was way before the Internet. That means they had to research the old-fashioned way, with hours spent in libraries and bookstores, as well as taking classes. Well into their later years, they had the spirit of two five-year-olds, eager to learn and discover.
There have been many studies done about this phenomenon, and there are many places to point the finger of blame as to where our curiosity gets killed. Maybe it’s parents not wanting to answer so many questions. Maybe it’s schools “force-feeding” one-size-fits-all curricula. Whatever kills curiosity, the good news is that you can get it back!
SPARC Words
The following words are designed to help “SPARC” curiosity in you. Notice how different these words are from the self-sabotage words of Chapter 1. Each day, choose a new SPARC word to give that curiosity of yours a jump start! We’ll be using these in the Curiosity Challenge (next).
Exercise.
Practice.
Dream.
Connect.
Believe.
Listen.
Hug.
Celebrate.
Communicate.
Adjust.
Uncover.
Laugh.
Review.
Vocalize.
Reflect.
Dare.
Envision.
Imagine.
Gratitude
Ponder.
Strategize
Discover.
Grin.
The Curiosity Challenge
Ask “why.” “Why” is a much better question than “What?” “What” delineates the non-curious. Most of what passes for learning in our school systems essentially kills off kids’ curiosity by only asking them to memorize the “What.” I remember in school having to memorize dates of world events, not what sparked them; the “What” as opposed to the “Why.” The road to reinvention starts with “Why.”
Start curious. Write down the first thought that pops into your head in the morning. Whatever it is, however banal it seems, spend 10 minutes researching that thought online. For example, maybe you think it’s time to throw back the bed sheets. Great! So go find out: Where did bed sheets originate? Which country, which century? Small, everyday, seemingly unimportant things can ignite our inherent curiosity and start re-training us to think rather than just act.
Find a SPARC word and stick with it. Each day, choose one word from the previous list. Take five minutes to do some research on it and then make it your focus for the day.
Don’t be a “surface shopper.” Always try to dig for the hidden meaning—nothing ever happens just on the surface. Do you remember the magazine Highlights for Children? I used to love to read that with my son when he was young. We especially enjoyed the sections on finding hidden pictures. That’s what you should be looking for in every aspect of your life—all the “hidden pictures.” The more you seek them out, the more they will reveal themselves to you.
If it ain’t broke…. Well, even if it is, don’t throw it out right away. Maybe you have an appliance that’s broken beyond repair. Before you toss it, learn from it. Consider taking it apart and seeing what’s inside. Pick one part and research its function, then move on to the next part. Who knows? What you learn might actually lead to you fixing it or fixing another thing that breaks down the line.
Do the “leg work.” If you have a habit of asking the neighborhood trivia expert every time you need an answer to a question, try instead to figure it out on your own. What you learn will stick in your memory much better than grabbing the first answer you hear. For example, if you take a trip and have someone else make all the arrangements for you, you just go along for the ride. However, if you take a trip that you planned, adding to the itinerary your choice of hotel and restaurants, what a richer experience that trip will be for you!
Independence is a great asset to acquire, and one that having curiosity can gift to you. Start small. Go to a movie and when you come home, look up information about the location where the movie was shot, or see if you can find information about how the movie was made. When you go to a restaurant, ask questions about what’s being offered on the menu.
Always force yourself to seek out more about any given thing, even if you already feel satisfied that you have enough information. Push past “satisfied” and stuff yourself with knowledge. Every day, you should be able to turn at least one “huh?” into a “huzzah!”
Let your curiosity wander, explore your universe, and you’ll become more empowered and assured—both strong antidotes for self-sabotage.
The Meek Inherit Nothing
I’ve seen many people give over their power to someone in charge, in many different ways. When it comes to aptitude, we sometimes become complacent in our life; we get tired of growing and expanding our experiences, of enhancing our creativity, and instead we hand it over to a mentor, teacher, coach, boss, or partner. We give up; we lose our way. And we rely on someone else to fill in the blanks.
Sometimes the situation is more insidious; sometimes these people, who we trust to look after us, sort of come in and take over for us. It’s happened to me all through my life and to many of my colleagues, clients, and friends.
Sometimes we only need mentors for a certain time and need to move on before this happens. Those heroes whom we’ve placed on pedestals are ordinary human beings, fallible and imperfect. They may be talented in a specific skill and possess knowledge we feel we deeply need, but once we learn that skill, we need to cut the cord—not toss them out of our life, but move on.
A good mentor knows that, too. A good leader doesn’t knock your legs out from under you so you need to lean on that person to walk; he or she shows you how to make your legs stronger, how to use them in ways you never imagined possible, and sends you on your way.
When you don’t move on, when you don’t continue your quest to learn new things and grow, you burn out, become complacent, or stall in a job, industry, or skill that you have long since outgrown. The worst case scenario is that you begin to bend or curtail your ability in order to contort yourself into the job. I have witnessed hundreds of such victims of this kind of self-sabotage, riddled with fear to jump industries, but burnt out and ineffective in their current profession.
At some point we all need a reality check. Do you now know as much as your teacher knows? Is it time to move on?
Partner, Consumer-Driven 6-Sigma Management Institute
I was born in 1951, in North Vietnam. My mom, a school teacher, brought my sister and me up by herself until 1955, when the winds of war brought us to South Vietnam. We were re-united with my dad there. As the war intensified in 1968, my parents gave me a one-way ticket out of the country to Europe. A year later, I ended up in the U.S., where I (and most people in the world) thought would be a land of opportunities.
My life in America started in California. I worked as a bus-boy while attending college. Life was way better than back in Vietnam (you could get killed there). The tough part was learning to master the English language. I realized that until I could master the language, I would not succeed. I graduated in 1974 as an electrical engineer. My last year in college, I was a student Senator (my English got better).
I got married to my college girlfriend (I’m still with her now) and worked in San Francisco. In April of 1975, South Vietnam fell to the communist North. I went back to Saigon (now Ho Chi Minh City) to bring my family out of the battle-ravaged city. We escaped on one of the last helicopters lifting off from the U.S. Embassy in Saigon. I was moved by the bravery and unselfishness of the U.S. service men and women who saved and served the refugees and decided to join the U.S. Marines Reserve upon my return from Saigon. I subsequently served 12 years and was discharged as a Major.
After my officer training in the Marines, I worked at Ford Motor Company in Dearborn, Michigan, and worked my way to be leader of several major car and truck programs and became the Quality Director for Ford Global Truck Operations and then Six Sigma Global Deployment Director for Ford. I retired from Ford in 2003 and opened my own consultant business serving large corporations.
After all these years, I am grateful I came to America where I believe that one can still achieve one’s goal if one is willing to plan and prepare for it. My life has been guided by some sage advice given to me by some very kind people. I still follow it.
My advice is to set a goal and stay with it. Look forward, learn from mistakes, and then move on. No deposit, no return. Always look at the glass half full, so you have the energy to press on regardless of how tough things may be. Share and celebrate every small victory.
“On the Job” Learning
I remember one of my managers early on in my career being “hands-off” in the extreme, but at the same time demanding excellence. For a new hire, that’s sabotage waiting to happen. What I did was seek out people in the organization who seemed to know a particular skill and asked them. You’d be surprised how willing people are to share information, especially when they don’t feel threatened (for example, competing with you for promotion or wage increase).
One of my most successful clients has long nurtured a network of people that she trusts to fill in the knowledge gaps that she personally doesn’t have. She isn’t afraid to hang out with other strong individuals because she well knows that doing so helps you address your weak side.
We tend to associate with people like ourselves, but that’s not always in our best interest. I’m not saying don’t associate with people who are like you; just don’t be afraid to associate yourself with people who aren’t. Those are the people who are going to fill in those gaps for you, not just tell you what you want to hear.
Work It Out
When it comes down to it, managers are human beings too. Some might be better at their roles of training and fostering talent and helping it to grow. Others may be less secure about their staff members becoming too strong, too smart. You can think that’s not your issue, it’s theirs, but in reality, it is your issue. If a manager doesn’t realize that helping you develop is part of their role, or, worse, they are intentionally and willfully doing all they can to hold you back so they can keep you under their control, you have to do something about it.
I would definitely suggest that it needs to start with a conversation, and you’re the one who needs to initiate that conversation. (See Chapter 7 for more information.)
Are you the “critical talent” in your organization? Should you be?
Words From the Wise—Parinaz Sekechi
Learning Consultant, Alcatel-Lucent University
Understanding Critical Talent
I interact with business and HR leaders who identify critical talent. Critical talents are those people who have a unique set of skills that not everybody else has and are vital to the company. They have unique skills or knowledge critical to the success of business and difficult to replace from any employee population or function. But they are not necessarily part of the leadership pipeline and need specific nurturing to help them stay engaged. People who consistently exceed expectations are the people that will most likely get engaged, because they have such a wonderful success record of paying attention to their own development.
There is a growing trend toward learner-centric learning, where technology is used to deliver education on the learner’s terms, enabling learners to access learning when it’s needed. This is an approach near and dear to me. In the Alcatel-Lucent University, we have My Personal Learning Environment (My PLE) platform set up in such a way that you don’t have to actually sit through each and every module. You can go straight to what we call “proof of competency,” which is a quiz associated with the learning modules. If you pass the proof of competence, you go to the next proficiency level. We have found that this helps productivity because people aren’t wasting time going through modules when they have the knowledge already. They can take a proof of competency and move on.
Another aspect to this platform is the social learning, the online community of learning which we map to competency areas, so there’s a lot of engagement, information exchange, and learning from each other. This peer learning is one of the most exciting elements of My PLE platform. Based on my observation and experience, I truly believe peer learning reinforces knowledge transfer, helps form bonds within our global employee population, and can lead to increased morale and productivity. As part of this approach, I facilitate sessions with leaders who are role models and invite our critical talents to come and hear what it is that makes this particular leader successful, so well respected, and highly regarded.
For me, personally, having a diverse background and experience in understanding the value of relationships gives me the flexibility to help our leaders to see the difference between what they think they need and what is actually needed—which at the end of the day is how we can best support our employees to have a positive impact on the organization and achieve business success. Employees are the foundation for creating value in a company. Therefore, managers and leaders play an important role in inspiring, engaging, retaining, and attracting talent.
Planning Your Re-Education
You don’t have to wait for someone to tell you what you need to do. You don’t need your manager to plot your course when it comes to learning. In fact, at a company that is hierarchical, controlling, demanding, or all three, where you need approval to take courses, I’d say go forward on your time, not the company’s. Never risk sabotaging yourself because you’re stumped at how to better yourself.
We can all continue learning. There is so much to learn out there and there isn’t always a hefty tuition involved. If we are stalled at our job, housebound caring for ailing parents or young children or both, there is a wealth of free—free!—online courses from reputable universities called Massive Open Online Courses or MOOC. (MIT and Stanford offer them. Check the Internet for others.)
Or you can steal an hour away from daily burdens and go to your public library. Most offer free or inexpensive classes in everything from business writing to computer technology, so there is really no excuse for any one of us nowadays to go wanting in updating our technical skills and stimulating our curiosity.
The older you get, the more life experience you have. Whatever grit you have doesn’t have to end once you retire. Today, even when you retire—especially when you retire—your life experience is of great value to universities. A whole new life could open for you. For example, a client of mine, upon retiring from his advertising job, began teaching at the continuing education school of his local university. He received a stipend for his work, but the main benefit to him was the free access to any of their classes. Through that, he developed his love of photography and a few years later opened an art gallery.
Words From the Wise—Byron Gilliam
Head of U.S. trading for Olivetree Securities
Take Risks but Know Who You’re Dealing With
If you’re deciding between career options when you get out of school, take the one that is the biggest stretch. Do something crazy if you can.
My first job out of college was with a floor broker on the German exchange, conducted mostly in German. I had taken two years of German in college, but was barely conversational when I started. The job was rapid-fire stock trading in the pre-Internet era: a telephone on each ear and shouting at colleagues. Looking back, I wonder how I did it. Later on in life, I spent a year at a French stock broker in France. I thought I’d pick up French like I did German, but it never happened.
I’ve had jobs in four different countries (so far) and communication has been distinctly different in each. The Germans are no-nonsense, as you’d imagine them to be. You’re expected to say what you think, with no penalties for disagreements. This suited me fine and I did well in that environment. When I moved to England, I continued to speak my mind openly and everyone would agree with me all the time. Then I found out that they were just agreeing to my face and keeping their real opinion to themselves. But it worked for me; people liked my candor and I stood out from others. When I got back to the United States, I expected everyone to be a straight shooter, but it turned out that more diplomacy was expected and my natural contrariness got me in some trouble. The most interesting workplace thing in France to me was that everyone shook hands with everyone every morning. So formal!
I’m getting to the point that some of my younger colleagues are a full generation younger than me. I had to explain what the Cold War was to someone recently, and who Keith Richards is. I find myself pedantically correcting people’s grammar on e-mails. They scoff at me, but I think I’m doing them a favor. I’m always very formal with customers unless I’ve met them and made a personal connection. Younger people seem to assume informality from the get-go.
Why Not?
Check out exciting options for learning like One Day University, in which you get to experience the joy of drinking in knowledge like when you were in college; your commitment to it is only one day. Of course you have one day!
If you don’t have money, if you can’t travel to a school, if you don’t have time to sit in a classroom…sorry, none of these can be your excuses any more. Based on your own set of skills, strengths, and weaknesses, you can decide what it is that you want to do and you can find resources that are available.
Do you have to take classes that are directly connected to your current work? Take them only if your employer offers tuition assistance—and even then, there can be flexibility.
Yes, I’m a huge believer in continuing education, but how do you know what questions to ask? What if you don’t know the questions to ask? You go to a teacher to learn something, but what do you do if you don’t know what you need to learn? How do you know what you need? How do you figure out what classes to take?
Preeminent Vocal Coach and Voice Teacher for Musical Theater
Learning
When I was in college and graduate school, I never learned to sing correctly. I studied privately in New York City and, with the instruction and patience of one teacher, finally learned to keep my larynx down—the missing ingredient to my own voice. I was eternally grateful that I acquired that wisdom and ability. My acquired patience with my own pursuit helped me have infinite patience with the journeys of my own students.
I believe preparing the voice for theater auditions is more of a process and not a quick fix. Slow, steady, and methodical win the race. Learning to sing is really a scientific process that takes discipline and dedication. You can’t really just add water and sing. I think singers do the best when they embrace their type and sing into it. The most frequent way singers derail is to be unprepared for auditions when they come along. Many try to learn brand new material for a specific audition because they feel they have nothing appropriate in their audition books. Often, nerves will kick in and they’ll forget lyrics during the audition because they’ve not had enough living time with the lyrics to have fully inculcated them. When I can get singers to slow down, and to be thoughtful and methodical about their goals and how to achieve them, I find that they have a tendency to get back on track and have a greater chance of achieving their goals in what is still a business defined largely by subjectivity.
SPARC-ing Knowledge
You should have someone who understands the importance of education in your network. It doesn’t have to be a teacher, but it should be someone who’s had some experience navigating a course catalog. Who’s going to be the best at guiding you on your path? Someone who’s had the same direct experience? Someone who’s in the same field? Maybe that person is not specifically skilled in the area you’re looking to develop in, but they can help you navigate your way there.
Strategize: What’s the game plan here? How much education are you seeking? How much time do you have to devote to it? Have your SPARC buddy hash this out with you.
Purpose: What do you want to achieve from getting more educated? A new career? A richer life experience? Nurturing your avocation? Again, have your SPARC buddy ask the tough questions.
Analyze: What are the best classes for you to take? Online or in person? Regular classes or one-off seminars? What’s going to make the most sense for you?
Rehearse: Your SPARC buddy can help you decide who you are and why you’re at the class for the “go around” introductions. What will you say? They can help you devise that elevator pitch you need to describe yourself.
Commit: Once you’ve decided on your plan, check in regularly with your SPARC buddy and let him or her in on your progress. Be open to the feedback your buddy provides. If he or she feels you’re not committed enough, hear them out!
Remember, don’t get defensive with your SPARC buddy. You want their honesty. You want them to stay on top of you.
Once you know what you need to do, you have to take action. You can’t say, “Okay, I want to get more education in X” and not have a timeline in which you’re going to accomplish it. You have to create a timeline for all of this, a schedule. If you don’t, it will never happen.
Lastly, whatever these educational goals are that you have in place now, be sure to always have goals beyond those goals. Just like when you were in school, and extracurricular activities were important to supplement your classes, you need to have them now, too. Maybe it’s the arts; maybe it’s sports. Whatever it is, you need to expand your universe beyond your job skills. Find out what inspires you.
Words From the Wise—Ron Raines
Musical Theater, Opera, Cabaret, Classical Music, and Television Actor/Singer
Know Your Skills and Keep Improving
I continue to work on my voice and stay disciplined. My voice is my ticket to the future…wherever that may be. The phone keeps ringing, and for that I’m grateful. Actors have to reinvent, but people often begin reinventing before they’ve ever invented. Each of us has to start from where we are now, who we are now, and what we are now. We must find our center and determine what we’re about as a person and as an artist before we begin to shape and embellish.
Inspiration and Imagination
One of the greatest crimes of your life is to go through it uninspired. It’s so important to make time in your schedule for creative or strategic thinking. Remember how we discussed in Chapter 4 about taking the first few moments of the day and letting your mind wander, and earlier in this chapter, when I suggested you learn more about the first thought you think about every day? You have to do this kind of thinking. You have to explore your world and daydream. You have to nurture your imagination by sometimes letting it do its thing. A much overlooked asset in the work environment from my experience is imagination. Not only is it not encouraged, it’s devalued.
A friend of mine shared an e-mail with me that she received from her daughter’s first-grade teacher. The teacher was annoyed at the child and wrote to the mother, something to the effect of “We all enjoy your daughter’s imagination but not when she makes things up…”
Huh? What does this teacher, this shaper of young, six-year-old minds, think imagination is? That’s scary. Imagination is devalued and it starts early.
When I am coaching a spokesperson for a keynote speech at a major conference, I’m constantly surprised at how scared they are to play, to make it fun to find ways to captivate their audience, to bring in their own uniqueness. It doesn’t matter if they’re Millennials or Boomers; somehow everyone’s scared to play. Yet when they flex their creative juices, that’s when they get ovations and high marks.
Also, there are major companies, Google being one, that look at potential employees for their ability to imagine, the Dare to be Great attitude, before even looking at which Ivy League school the candidate graduated from. One news item I read reported that Google isn’t even interested in your college degree; they want to know what’s deep down inside of you.
Bottom Line
Think of education as nourishment for success. You really can’t get by without it. You need to keep curious and educate yourself daily. The more you know, the more you grow.