D. Rootless Root: The Unix Koans of Master Foo
Editor’s Introduction
The discovery of the collection of koans known as the Rootless Root, apparently preserved for decades in the dry upper air of the Western Mountains, has ignited great controversy in scholarly circles. Are these authentic documents shedding new light on the teaching of the early Unix patriarchs? Or are they clever pastiches from a later age, commanding the authority of semi-mythical figures such as the Patriarchs Thompson, Ritchie and McIlroy for doctrines which evolved closer to our own era?
It is impossible to say for certain. All sides in the dispute have made much of an alleged similarity to that venerable classic, The Tao of Programming.1 But Rootless Root is quite different in tone and style from the loose, poetic anecdotes of the James translation, focused as it is on the remarkable and enigmatic figure of Master Foo.
1 The Tao of Programming is available on the Web <http://www.canonical.org/~kragen/tao-of-programming.html>.
It would be more apposite to seek parallels in the AI Koans;2 indeed, there are textual clues that the author of the Rootless Root may have redacted certain versions of the AI Koans. We are also on much firmer ground in seeking connections with the Loginataka;3 indeed, it is quite possible that the unknown authors of Rootless Root and of Loginataka were one and the same person, possibly a student of Master Foo himself.
2 The AI Koans are available on the Web <http://www.catb.org/~esr/jargon/html/Some-AI-Koans.html>.
3 The Loginataka is available on the Web <http://www.catb.org/~esr/faqs/loginataka.html>.
Mention should also be made of the Tales of Zen Master Greg,4 though the Nine Inch Nails references have cast some doubt on their antiquity and it is thus unlikely that they influenced Rootless Root.
4 The Tales of Zen Master Greg are available on the Web <http://www.gu.uwa.edu.au/users/greg/>.
That the title of the work was intended as a reference to the Zen classic Gateless Gate5 of Mumon, we can say with fair confidence. There are echoes of Mumon in several of the koans.
5 The Gateless Gate is available on the Web <http://www.ibiblio.org/zen/cgi-bin/koan-index.pl>.
There is considerable dispute over whether Master Foo should be assigned to the Eastern (New Jersey) School, or the Western School that grew out of the Patriarch Thompson’s epochal early journey to Berkeley. If this question has not been settled, it is perhaps because we cannot even establish that Master Foo ever existed! He might merely be a composite of a group of teachers, or of an entire dharma lineage.
Even supposing the legend of Master Foo accreted around the teaching of some a single person, what of his favored student Nubi? Nubi has all the earmarks of a stock figure, the perfect disciple. One is reminded of the tales surrounding the Buddha’s favorite follower Ananda. It seems likely that there was a historical Ananda, but no trace of his actual personality has survived the euhemerizing process by which the life of the Buddha was polished into timeless myth.
In the end, all we can do is take these teaching stories on their own terms, and extract what kernels of wisdom may be found there.
The redaction of the Rootless Root is a work in progress, as the source materials present many difficulties in reconstruction and interpretation. Future versions may include more stories as these difficulties are overcome.
Master Foo and the Ten Thousand Lines
Master Foo once said to a visiting programmer: “There is more Unix-nature in one line of shell script than there is in ten thousand lines of C”.
The programmer, who was very proud of his mastery of C, said: “How can this be? C is the language in which the very kernel of Unix is implemented!”
Master Foo replied: “That is so. Nevertheless, there is more Unix-nature in one line of shell script than there is in ten thousand lines of C”.
The programmer grew distressed. “But through the C language we experience the enlightenment of the Patriarch Ritchie! We become as one with the operating system and the machine, reaping matchless performance!”
Master Foo replied: “All that you say is true. But there is still more Unix-nature in one line of shell script than there is in ten thousand lines of C”.
The programmer scoffed at Master Foo and rose to depart. But Master Foo nodded to his student Nubi, who wrote a line of shell script on a nearby whiteboard, and said: “Master programmer, consider this pipeline. Implemented in pure C, would it not span ten thousand lines?”
The programmer muttered through his beard, contemplating what Nubi had written. Finally he agreed that it was so.
“And how many hours would you require to implement and debug that C program?” asked Nubi.
“Many”, admitted the visiting programmer. “But only a fool would spend the time to do that when so many more worthy tasks await him”.
“And who better understands the Unix-nature?” Master Foo asked. “Is it he who writes the ten thousand lines, or he who, perceiving the emptiness of the task, gains merit by not coding?”
Upon hearing this, the programmer was enlightened.
Master Foo and the Script Kiddie
A stranger from the land of Woot came to Master Foo as he was eating the morning meal with his students.
“I hear y00 are very l33t”, he said. “Pl33z teach m3 all y00 know”.
Master Foo’s students looked at each other, confused by the stranger’s barbarous language. Master Foo just smiled and replied: “You wish to learn the Way of Unix?”
“I want to b3 a wizard hax0r”, the stranger replied, “and 0wn ever3one’s b0xen”.
“I do not teach that Way”, replied Master Foo.
The stranger grew agitated. “D00d, y00 r nothing but a p0ser”, he said. “If y00 n00 anything, y00 wud t33ch m3”.
“There is a path”, said Master Foo, “that might bring you to wisdom”. The master scribbled an IP address on a piece of paper. “Cracking this box should pose you little difficulty, as its guardians are incompetent. Return and tell me what you find”.
The stranger bowed and left. Master Foo finished his meal.
Days passed, then months. The stranger was forgotten.
Years later, the stranger from the land of Woot returned.
“Damn you!” he said, “I cracked that box, and it was easy like you said. But I got busted by the FBI and thrown in jail”.
“Good”, said Master Foo. “You are ready for the next lesson”. He scribbled an IP address on another piece of paper and handed it to the stranger.
“Are you crazy?” the stranger yelled. “After what I’ve been through, I’m never going to break into a computer again!”
Master Foo smiled. “Here”, he said, “is the beginning of wisdom”.
On hearing this, the stranger was enlightened.
Master Foo Discourses on the Two Paths
Master Foo instructed his students:
“There is a line of dharma teaching, exemplified by the Patriarch McIlroy’s mantra ’Do one thing well’, which emphasizes that software partakes of the Unix way when it has simple and consistent behavior, with properties that can be readily modeled by the mind of the user and used by other programs”.
“But there is another line of dharma teaching, exemplified by the Patriarch Thompson’s great mantra ’When in doubt, use brute force’, and various sutras on the value of getting 90% of cases right now, rather than 100% later, which emphasizes robustness and simplicity of implementation”.
“Now tell me: which programs have the Unix nature?”
After a silence, Nubi observed:
“Master, these teachings may conflict”.
“A simple implementation is likely to lack logic for edge cases, such as resource exhaustion, or failure to close a race window, or a timeout during an uncompleted transaction”.
“When such edge cases occur, the behavior of the software will become irregular and difficult. Surely this is not the Way of Unix?”
Master Foo nodded in agreement.
“On the other hand, it is well known that fancy algorithms are brittle. Further, each attempt to cover an edge case tends to interact with both the program’s central algorithms and the code covering other edge cases”.
“Thus, attempts to cover all edge cases in advance, guaranteeing ’simplicity of description’, may in fact produce code that is overcomplicated and brittle or which, plagued by bugs, never ships at all. Surely this is not the Way of Unix?”
Master Foo nodded in agreement.
“What, then, is the proper dharma path?” asked Nubi.
“When the eagle flies, does it forget that its feet have touched the ground? When the tiger lands upon its prey, does it forget its moment in the air? Three pounds of VAX!”
On hearing this, Nubi was enlightened.
Master Foo and the Methodologist
When Master Foo and his student Nubi journeyed among the sacred sites, it was the Master’s custom in the evenings to offer public instruction to Unix neophytes of the towns and villages in which they stopped for the night.
On one such occasion, a methodologist was among those who gathered to listen.
“If you do not repeatedly profile your code for hot spots while tuning, you will be like a fisherman who casts his net in an empty lake”, said Master Foo.
“Is it not, then, also true”, said the methodology consultant, “that if you do not continually measure your productivity while managing resources, you will be like a fisherman who casts his net in an empty lake?”
“I once came upon a fisherman who just at that moment let his net fall in the lake on which his boat was floating”, said Master Foo. “He scrabbled around in the bottom of his boat for quite a while looking for it”.
“But”, said the methodologist, “if he had dropped his net in the lake, why was he looking in the boat?”
“Because he could not swim”, replied Master Foo.
Upon hearing this, the methodologist was enlightened.
Master Foo Discourses on the Graphical User Interface
One evening, Master Foo and Nubi attended a gathering of programmers who had met to learn from each other. One of the programmers asked Nubi to what school he and his master belonged. Upon being told they were followers of the Great Way of Unix, the programmer grew scornful.
“The command-line tools of Unix are crude and backward”, he scoffed. “Modern, properly designed operating systems do everything through a graphical user interface”.
Master Foo said nothing, but pointed at the moon. A nearby dog began to bark at the master’s hand.
“I don’t understand you!” said the programmer.
Master Foo remained silent, and pointed at an image of the Buddha. Then he pointed at a window.
“What are you trying to tell me?” asked the programmer.
Master Foo pointed at the programmer’s head. Then he pointed at a rock.
“Why can’t you make yourself clear?” demanded the programmer.
Master Foo frowned thoughtfully, tapped the the programmer twice on the nose, and dropped him in a nearby trashcan.
As the programmer was attempting to extricate himself from the garbage, the dog wandered over and piddled on him.
At that moment, the programmer achieved enlightenment.
Master Foo and the Unix Zealot
A Unix zealot, having heard that Master Foo was wise in the Great Way, came to him for instruction. Master Foo said to him:
“When the Patriarch Thompson invented Unix, he did not understand it. Then he gained in understanding, and no longer invented it”.
“When the Patriarch McIlroy invented the pipe, he knew that it would transform software, but did not know that it would transform mind”.
“When the Patriarch Ritchie invented C, he condemned programmers to a thousand hells of buffer overruns, heap corruption, and stale-pointer bugs”.
“Truly, the Patriarchs were blind and foolish!”
The zealot was greatly angered by the Master’s words.
“These enlightened ones”, he protested. “gave us the Great Way of Unix. Surely, if we mock them we will lose merit and be reborn as beasts or MCSEs”.
“Is your code ever completely without stain and flaw?” demanded Master Foo.
“No”, admitted the zealot, “no man’s is”.
“The wisdom of the Patriarchs”, said Master Foo, “was that they knew they were fools”.
Upon hearing this, the zealot was enlightened.
Master Foo Discourses on the Unix-Nature
A student said to Master Foo: “We are told that the firm called SCO holds true dominion over Unix”.
Master Foo nodded.
The student continued, “Yet we are also told that the firm called OpenGroup also holds true dominion over Unix”.
Master Foo nodded.
“How can this be?” asked the student.
Master Foo replied:
“SCO indeed has dominion over the code of Unix, but the code of Unix is not Unix. OpenGroup indeed has dominion over the name of Unix, but the name of Unix is not Unix”.
“What, then, is the Unix-nature?” asked the student.
Master Foo replied:
“Not code. Not name. Not mind. Not things. Always changing, yet never changing”.
“The Unix-nature is simple and empty. Because it is simple and empty, it is more powerful than a typhoon”.
“Moving in accordance with the law of nature, it unfolds inexorably in the minds of programmers, assimilating designs to its own nature. All software that would compete with it must become like to it; empty, empty, profoundly empty, perfectly void, hail!”
Upon hearing this, the student was enlightened.
Master Foo and the End User
On another occasion when Master Foo gave public instruction, an end user, having heard tales of the Master’s wisdom, came to him for guidance.
He bowed three times to Master Foo. “I wish to learn the Great Way of Unix”, he said “but the command line confuses me”.
Some of the onlooking neophytes began to mock the end user, calling him “clueless” and saying that the Way of Unix is only for those of discipline and intelligence.
The Master held up a hand for silence, and called the most obstreperous of the neophytes who had mocked forward, to where he and the end user sat.
“Tell me”, he asked the neophyte, “of the code you have written and the works of design you have uttered”.
The neophyte began to stammer out a reply, but fell silent.
Master Foo turned to the end-user. “Tell me”, he inquired, “why do you seek the Way?”
“I am discontent with the software I see around me”, the end user replied. “It neither performs reliably nor pleases the eye and hand. Having heard that the Unix way, though difficult, is superior, I seek to cast aside all snares and delusions”.
“And what do you do in the world”, asked Master Foo, “that you must strive with software?”
“I am a builder”, the end user replied, “Many of the houses of this town were made under my chop”.
Master Foo turned back to the neophyte. “The housecat may mock the tiger”, said the master, “but doing so will not make his purr into a roar”.
Upon hearing this, the neophyte was enlightened.