The first step in preventing burnout and implementing any sustainable change in your life is developing your self-awareness. As you become increasingly self-aware, you will notice if you are working stressfully or feeling fatigued and you can take action to self-regulate depending on how you are feeling (you will read about self-regulation in chapter 4).

For this book, I interviewed close to 200 people who had experienced some sort of burnout and, alarmingly, 90 per cent of them said they were not aware they were burning out until it was too late. It wasn't until they had a panic attack or reached crisis point that they realised they were burnt out.

Put simply, you can't change what you don't notice. Developing self-awareness gives you the ability to practise self-control, to manage stress, to look at different perspectives, to have better decision-making skills and to create solutions. In this chapter we will explore the concept of self-awareness and how you can begin to cultivate a deeper understanding of your inner self, which will benefit many areas of your life. Let's start with a personal story on self-awareness and how it helped me to self-regulate in a very challenging situation.

Rural South Australia

One fine afternoon, five good friends and I sat around a coffee table and spawned the crazy idea of cycling around the world on our mountain bikes for a couple of years. As plans progressed, we looked at maps of Africa, India, Asia, Europe and the United States, and started roughly planning out some of the routes for circumnavigating the globe.

Over the next few weeks, for me the idea became ever more exciting, while admittedly also a little daunting. Unfortunately, my friends, one by one, slowly backed away from this absurd idea for various reasons. And so, I was left with the choice of quitting and staying in my comfort zone, or going solo. Could I trust my self-awareness and intuition to make the right decision in this moment?

Despite family and friends trying to convince me otherwise, my decision was a resounding — and crazy — Yes! Let's go for it!

I started buying special lightweight camping equipment and kitting out my beloved bike with panniers (saddlebags) for the big adventure. I began doing training runs and exposing myself to different types of terrains and conditions.

I also became efficient in ways to carry and set up my equipment. After all, I needed to carry my bed, my kitchen, my wardrobe, my food, my water and myself on my bike on this big adventure. The training runs were sometimes difficult, but mostly fun as I got to push my boundaries and learn to negotiate different challenges. On one particular occasion, I was truly pushed to my limit and my self-awareness and ability to self-regulate were put to the test.

It was a long weekend in winter and there was a mild storm forecast for the remote areas of South Australia, where I lived at the time, so, as part of my training, I decided to head out on my mountain bike and go camping! According to the forecast, the storm didn't look too threatening — I didn't want to put myself in unnecessary danger — so I decided to give it a shot and headed out into fairly mild, wintry conditions. I was so excited to test out my new lightweight equipment and my expensive new tent.

Hour by hour, I cycled further and further away from home. By early afternoon, I noticed the storm clouds brewing on the horizon above the forest canopy and I could hear the gentle, percussive rumble of distant thunder. The landscape around me drew a stark contrast of vivid green forest pines with a looming sky of deep greys and dense, black rain clouds. I had never seen clouds like these in my life, and at that point, I wished I had my camera with me to capture this eerie moment (this was before mobile phones were an everyday accessory). Far away from any towns and deep in a forested area, I was feeling a mix of excitement, fear, strength and freedom. I thought it was probably time to start setting up camp as the dark clouds were continuing to change into obscure shapes and dusk was fast approaching.

I kept riding, but suddenly the mood changed entirely. The sky turned to black and visibility was getting very low. The deep, rumbling thunder was growing louder, and flashes of sheet lightning pierced the darkness. From out of nowhere, 100-kilometre winds started battering the environment and then, within seconds, the whole scene changed for the worse! Cold, stinging rain started belting across my body and I was instantly drenched from head to toe. The rain seemed to be coming at me horizontally as the wind pushed it hard against my frozen face. I didn't even have time to get my brand-new Gore-Tex rain jacket out. I was already wet to the bone from the rain.

It took all of my strength and focus just to keep my bike stable and negotiate the muddy path ahead. I glimpsed the path between the flashes of lightning as the thunderclaps grew stronger and more frequent. I kept riding and looked for a clearing to set up my tent, but I couldn't see much through the sheets of rain. Large tree branches and limbs started crashing all around me. And then, I couldn't believe my eyes: a fully grown gum tree was uprooted by the ferocious winds. I was officially scared and in danger.

I watched in fear and disbelief as large tree limbs were snapped effortlessly by the cyclonic winds and hurtled all around me. I had never seen anything like it and I learned later that it turned out to be one of the worst storms to hit Australia in decades — and I was in the middle of it!

I persevered a bit longer, trying to keep my bike upright against the relentless horizontal rain and wind. I was just about to stop when I heard an almighty crack behind me. It sounded like a shotgun. Suddenly, a falling tree struck me violently from the side, sending my bike and me crashing to the ground. It felt like a truck had hit me at full speed, knocking me to the ground and crushing the bike panniers carrying all my new equipment. I was in shock.

My leg was bleeding and my ribs felt crushed, but luckily I wasn't too badly injured, and I managed to get up. I wanted to make myself a shelter, but some of my tent poles were cracked and the tent shell was ripped. The horizontal rain continued, the howling winds grew even stronger, the temperature dropped rapidly and darkness truly set in. There was no way I could set up my damaged tent in these conditions so I tried to construct something with my bike and the ripped tent shell, but the wind was even too ferocious for that. There was absolutely no way I could light a fire with such intense wind and rain, and the flying branches and limbs were still crashing violently around me. I gathered all my belongings in a neat pile and managed to find a few biscuits in my bag, which I hurriedly ate to give myself some energy. By this time I was genuinely anxious as I was dodging falling branches and debris from above while I continued to look for shelter.

The world around me was literally crashing and crumbling. The wind was howling, branches were flying, trees were being uprooted, lightning was flashing, thunder was grumbling and I was officially in grave danger. I sat down beside my bike and piles of damaged equipment — cold, broken and drenched to the bone. I noticed my hands were frozen and bluish in colour, my teeth were chattering uncontrollably and my lips were numb as I felt hypothermia setting in. Crippled by fear and cold I did not know what to do!

My senses were heightened and I was very self-aware in this moment. Suddenly, a flash thought lit up my mind: If the world around me is a chaotic mess, how about I look inside myself for some inner strength and solace? It's time to go within.

In my pile of belongings, I found a small foil emergency blanket — you know those little square ones you think you will never use (because how could it possibly save anyone's life?). I gave it a try anyway. I wrapped it around my shoulders and hugged myself tightly with it. My next rational thought was to try some breathwork. My Tai chi master had taught me meditation and deep belly breathing techniques over the years, and I recalled him claiming these could help raise your core temperature as well as provide many other health benefits. So, I sat under my tiny foil blanket, put my hands on my lower belly and started to meditate. It took a while to settle and focus as I was constantly distracted by the wind howling through the treetops and the sounds of tree branches crashing around me. At times I was tempted to get up and run, but I had nowhere to run to, so I persevered with the breathing practice.

I diligently counted my breaths to stay focused on my lower belly area — 1, 2, 3 … 7 … 59, 110, 210 — and I counted into the high hundreds. After a while, I started to feel warm, and actually even hot! It was beyond belief, but my thermal fleece was beginning to wick away the moisture from my core temperature, radiating outwards, and my clothes slowly started drying out. I continued counting, with my hands on my belly, and I felt myself drifting in and out of counting and consciousness for what seemed like a few hours. The storm was still crashing all around me, but I was starting to feel a sense of peace and security emerge from deep inside me, like a deep, still ocean beneath the raging waves above. I calmed down and started to believe that I was going to survive this. As I dived deeper inside myself, I felt myself drop down into another layer of subconsciousness as my meditation guided me deeper downwards and inwards. After some time, I actually felt a sense of total inner peace and stillness, oblivious to the outer world. I felt safe, I felt warm and I felt totally calm.

I am not really sure what happened to me over the next few hours. Time meant nothing. I was in a state of being that I had never experienced before. I can't explain it in words. I was not even sure if the storm was still raging around me because I no longer noticed the external world — only the world within me. It was timeless as I sat in this fine balance of a present state of awareness and deep, peaceful consciousness.

I must have sat in meditation from dusk until dawn, drifting between various brain states. I knew the worst was over when I heard the comforting sound of a solitary magpie starting its morning warble. I opened my eyes to see the first rays of sunlight penetrate the forest. It appeared that the storm had mostly passed. I noticed large tree limbs and debris strewn all around me. One particularly large branch was just a metre away, but I have no recollection of it crashing near me. My body was sore, and my legs had pins and needles as I tried to stand up. It took me a few attempts, but I finally managed to get up, feeling a little shaky and weary.

In the morning light, I got busy gathering my senses and my belongings, and temporarily fixing my bike enough to ride to safety. I managed to find a bit of food in my pannier to give me some renewed energy and began my journey home. Before I left, I took a moment to look around me in astonishment that I had just spent a whole night in this forest, all alone in the middle of a ferocious storm, without shelter. I could not believe that one minute I was hypothermic and scared to death and then, through the power of breath and meditation, I was able to self-regulate and feel totally safe, warm and secure.

With weary legs and a cold body I started pedalling on my journey back home to a warm house, a hot shower and some nourishing food. I processed my thoughts and reflected on my experience, grateful to be alive. I didn't tell any of my family and friends about this incident, partly because I was embarrassed and partly because they thought I was safe and sound in my brand-new tent.

This challenging experience taught me one big lesson and it definitely changed my life in many ways. It taught me the power of self-awareness and ‘going within’ to self-regulate. It also taught me to trust that you will always have the resources inside you to deal with any situation, which served me well for the travelling adventures that followed.

To this day, I am still not exactly sure what happened between the many hours of dusk and dawn, but I do know this: I am now a firm believer in the profound potential of meditation and breathwork, and it has become my life's work personally and professionally. You can influence your physiology by changing your psychology, and vice versa. The power of the body and mind connection is infinite, and it all starts with self-awareness.

Self-awareness: the first step

As I've already asserted, you can't change what you don't notice. It all starts with you, and developing strong self-awareness. A relationship with your inner world is the first step to preventing burnout and finding balance. If I was able to literally find calm in the eye of a storm through meditation and breathwork, I am sure these same techniques can help you remain calm in any challenging situation. You can always find peace within when you develop your deeper sense of awareness, and additionally your ability to self-regulate.

With self-awareness, you can reduce anxiety before it takes over. You can take a renewal break when you notice you are fatigued. You can manage external pressure and stress before you feel overwhelmed. It's a bit like driving your car and the oil light flashes on your dashboard. What happens if you ignore that sign? What happens if you keep driving for days on end without oil? The engine will simply burn out or blow up! It's the same with us. What happens if you notice you are feeling stressed or anxious, but you continually ignore the signs and just keep trying to push on through? You might get so many warning signs through your day — tight chest and shoulders, heart palpitations, lack of focus, fatigue, tension, poor sleep, and so on — but you just keep trying to push through. Unfortunately, there is a price to pay for this ongoing, unmanaged cumulative stress. The price is burnout.

As you read earlier, 90 per cent of the people I interviewed for this book stated they were not aware that they were experiencing burnout until it was too late. The other 10 per cent either ignored the signs or did not have the tools to deal with them. My aim is to give you practical tools and techniques that will help you read the signs and take proactive steps to prevent burnout in the first place — and developing self-awareness is the first step.

Mindfulness 101

One of the best ways to develop self-awareness is to spend more time on your own and to adopt some mindfulness training and practices. I have been practising mindfulness and meditation for about 30 years and have seen the immense benefits in it. Throughout this book I will share various mindfulness stories, concepts, techniques and practices, and I sincerely hope you can benefit as much as I have.

At its most fundamental level, mindfulness is about paying attention to the present moment, without judgement, and being openly aware. It's about being present and engaged with where you are and what you are doing at the time. This sounds really easy in theory, but sometimes it is difficult to practise mindfulness in this busy, overstimulated world we live in. Sometimes we can overcomplicate the simple practice of mindfulness in the modern world and put so many convoluted terms to it that it seems confusing and difficult to achieve.

I like to keep it really simple and elegant: mindfulness is about being in the moment; it's about living your life with more presence and awareness. That's it!

During my travels, I stayed in a monastery in Vietnam, where life was all about living more mindfully everyday. The monastery shared the teachings of Thích Nhâ´t Hạnh², a revered Vietnamese monk and Zen master who popularised the practices of mindfulness for several decades. The monastery was not a strictly silent retreat — unlike a Vipassana retreat, where you are not allowed to speak at all to anyone — but at this monastery you could only talk about the thing that you were doing at the time. For example, if you were chopping vegetables, you could only talk about the vegetables (like the beautiful orange colour of your carrot). If you were eating your meal, you could only talk about the aromas and flavours of your food. If you were washing the dishes, you could only talk about the dishes, the water temperature or the scent of the soap, and so on. You couldn't be washing the dishes while talking about the weather or eating your meal while talking about work. You had to be fully present with the task you were doing and only make conversation about it if you wanted to.

Paying full attention to the task you are doing at the time with all of your awareness and catching your mind when it drifts off sounds really simple. But I must admit, I found it quite difficult at first because it made me realise how not present I was when doing many of these everyday tasks, especially the mundane ones like washing the dishes. After some time though, I began to appreciate all of the things I did in my day more mindfully: everything from waking up, brushing my teeth, showering, cooking, eating, communicating, walking and even washing the dishes.

Mindfulness is not something new, and chances are you are practising it already, especially when you are engaged in things that you love doing. Think of a time when you were doing something you love and were fully immersed in that task with your full presence. This is mindfulness!

Formal and non-formal mindfulness practices

There are two main ways to practise mindfulness: formally and informally.

• Formal practice. This is when you physically stop what you are doing and do some sort of stillness practice. You might choose to close your eyes and pay attention to the sensations present in your body or rest your awareness on your breath and use it as an anchor to stay present. This could be practised for 90 seconds, five minutes, 10 minutes or longer. This is classically what you might consider to be a meditation practice, where you train your attention to stay in the present moment through your body and breath.
• Non-formal practice. This is about being more mindful of your daily activities and doing them with more presence and awareness (like I did while in the monastery in Vietnam). You think of all of the things you do in the day on autopilot, or in default mode, and you train yourself to pay more attention to them. The great thing about this is, it doesn't take any extra time in your day. For example, eating is something you do three to four times a day. You might eat on the run, or in front of the computer, or graze mindlessly throughout the day. However, when you eat more mindfully it's an opportunity to bring mindfulness to your day by simply paying attention to the flavours, aromas and taste of your food. Chances are, you will enjoy your food and the whole experience more.

These two practices are equally important as they mutually train your self-awareness and your ability to pay attention and focus on one task. For example, if you can't close your eyes and stay present with your breath for two minutes without your mind wandering, how can you stay focused at work for hours on end? Equally, if you can't stay fully present while you are having a shower for five minutes, how can you stay engaged doing the other 10 000 things that you do in a day. When we are more present and focused on the task at hand, we are at our best. A brilliant article called ‘A wandering mind is an unhappy mind’, by Killingsworth and Gilbert³, contends that we are happiest when we are fully engaged in the task we are doing because our mind is able to stay present and not wander to unpleasant thoughts and feelings.

Killingsworth and Gilbert's research also states that 47 per cent of the time our mind is elsewhere — it's off task. That's nearly half of the time! The question is, where does it go when it wanders off? Does it ruminate in the past, or catastrophise about the future, or does it run wild thinking about a million things? This mind wandering can often be the cause of mild depression, overwhelm, anxiety and other mental health issues. One solution is to train your mind to be more present, more awake and more aware moment by moment. This will help you to develop a deeper self-awareness and enable you to stay focused on what is happening around you and within you.

Ask yourself what daily tasks you do on autopilot. Are you present when you're brushing your teeth, when you're having breakfast, when you're driving/commuting, when you're talking to someone, when you're listening? I'm sure there is some room for improvement for all of us.