So, what is burnout anyway, and why is it affecting so many people in today's world? The World Health Organization (WHO) recently revised its definition of burnout for the eleventh time, changing it from a medical condition to a ‘syndrome’⁴. While doing research for this book, I asked many people from various professions, ‘What is burnout?’ and I was surprised by the varied responses I received. In this chapter we will explore this question in more detail. We will look at ways to prevent burnout by initiating self-care practices so you can live a healthier and more balanced life.

The Southwest, United States

Although I have helped hundreds of people overcome or prevent burnout, to date I have not experienced a mental or emotional burnout myself. However, during my global adventure I was cycling through the Navajo tribal lands and I experienced a physical burnout, which took me some time to recover from.

I had been cycling long distances through the stunning scenery of the Southwest of the United States for a few weeks and camping alongside Navajo and Hopi Indians along the way. Most cycling days consisted of more than 200 kilometres in distance and I probably wasn't eating enough to fuel that amount of daily expenditure. It was an amazingly enriching experience as I spent time learning the ways of the indigenous people of this area and I also spent many hours alone with my thoughts as I traversed the vast desert plains of Arizona, Utah, New Mexico and Colorado. I even accomplished 10 push-ups in all four states at once. It's known as the ‘four corners monument’, where you can have a hand and a foot in each of those states at once and do a push-up.

One particular day on Highway 163, surrounded by the stunning backdrop of the majestic Monument Valley, my body said ‘that's enough’ and totally shut down. My legs cramped severely, my blood sugar levels dropped and I believe I had sunstroke. I vomited until I dry retched and I nearly passed out. I could barely stand up, let alone ride my bike any further. I had to stop. My body would not allow me to continue, so I set up camp on the side of the highway to get some rest. I literally collapsed in my tent and tried to rehydrate before I fell asleep from sheer exhaustion. I slept the rest of the day and through the whole night. When I awoke, I still felt weak and a little dizzy, but I ate breakfast to recoup some energy and decided I felt good enough to continue on.

As I was packing up my tent and getting ready to continue riding, I noticed many cars and buses stopping ahead of me, about 500 metres up the road. The passengers were getting out of their vehicles, taking some photos and continuing on their journey. When I finally managed to get back in the saddle and start riding again, I went to the location where everybody was stopping and it turned out to be the exact spot where Forrest Gump stopped running in the 1994 hit movie Forrest Gump, starring Tom Hanks⁵ — an uncanny coincidence. I was just a few metres short!

It took me weeks to fully recover from that burnout, and I was extra careful not to let this happen again. I was mindful of my food intake and I was extra careful with my daily energy expenditure. Similarly to a mental or emotional burnout, had I listened to the signs earlier, I potentially could have avoided this physical burnout by staying hydrated and eating more high-energy snacks along the way, but I was too late in my response. This is often the case with burnout of any sort (mental or physical) — it's too late before we take action, and it can be prevented if we don't ignore the signs.

Melbourne, Australia

I was running the first session of a six-week mindfulness program for a leadership team in a large IT company with a cohort of about 15 people. The group was generally enjoying the content, participating well and showing interest in the mindfulness concepts. However, one of the team leaders, Pete — a sales executive — was sceptical. I usually welcome scepticism and part of my job as a facilitator is to break some of the myths and preconceptions and offer a new perspective.

However, Pete was different. He was exceptionally closed minded to the techniques. He stood up a few times during the session and said, ‘I've got better things to do. I'm too busy. I have a team to manage and I should not be here. It's a waste of my time!’ I acknowledged his statements and asked him to at least stick around for the rest of that particular session. Pete stayed against his will and continued to heckle and question the program for the next hour or so. I delivered the concepts to help him, and the rest of the group, with some techniques and practices for managing stress in their demanding roles as leaders.

During the session, I observed that above the table Pete was putting on a tough front with his strong words; however, under the table his legs were shaking uncontrollably throughout the session and he was quite nervous, fidgety and anxious in his mannerisms. I am quite familiar with recognising chronic stress and anxious behaviour as I have worked in mental health clinics and psychiatric hospitals for more than 15 years running programs for inpatients and outpatients. I genuinely felt sorry for Pete for having to put on a strong face in front of his peers while underneath he was quite fragile, anxious and weak, and I really wanted to help him as best I could.

At the end of the session, I thanked Pete for staying for the whole 90 minutes. I acknowledged his concerns and I invited him back the next week for the second session. Surprise, surprise, he did not return for session 2 or any subsequent sessions. I did try to reach out via email a few times, but there was no response.

Months passed and I thought about Pete a few times while I was delivering more programs to the same company, hoping that he would join one of the sessions and I could support him, but I didn't see him there again.

A few months later I was running a four-week program at a psychiatric clinic when guess who walked in the door? That's right, Pete — the same guy who had heckled me and refused to stay in training because it was a waste of his time. I could tell from his appearance and slow gait that Pete was fully burnt out. He was barely comprehensible and was in the clinic to get help regaining his mental health. With empathy, I welcomed him into the group. I did not mention our previous acquaintance — in fact, I'm not sure he recognised me. He sat in the front row looking down at his paper and pen. To open the session, I collectively asked the group the question, ‘Who plans to stay for the whole four weeks?’ Pete was the first to put up his hand as he shyly said, ‘Oh yes, yes, yes, I have to. I need to get better.’

I only wish Pete had persevered during the initial program at his company because he potentially could have learned some tools and techniques to self-regulate and equip him to manage stress better. I did my absolute best to help Pete and he did attend the complete four-week program. He participated in the discussions and exercises and at the conclusion of the program he told me he found the mindfulness practices ‘pretty good’, and that they were really helping him.

Pete is a perfect example of an overstimulated high achiever working in a stressful environment to meet overwhelming demands to the detriment of his own physical and mental health. The constant wear and tear of chronic stress on his body and mind eventually led him to a full burnout. Unfortunately, Pete is not alone. In the course of a year in my coaching business I meet many Petes — fortunately some are in the early stage of pre-burnout, but most reach out only after experiencing a full burnout.

So what is burnout?

As I touched on early in the chapter, the WHO recently redefined the classification of burnout from a medical condition to a ‘syndrome’. Burnout is now defined by International Classification of Diseases (ICD-11) as follows:

Burn-out is a syndrome conceptualized as resulting from chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed. It is characterized by three dimensions:

1. feelings of energy depletion or exhaustion
2. increased mental distance from one's job, or feelings of negativism or cynicism related to one's job; and
3. reduced professional efficacy.⁶

Busy professionals in high-pressure jobs are most at risk — people such as medical professionals, first responders, lawyers, business executives, social workers, teachers, principals and so on. In fact, no-one is exempt from burnout, especially in the fast-paced, overstimulated environment that we are all exposed to. We live in a world where we are always ‘on’; we are always accessible and have trouble switching off from work so it's becoming more difficult to find balance.

According to the 2022 ELMO Employee Sentiment Index, nearly half (46 per cent) of Australians are feeling burnt out⁷, while in 2021 the American Psychological Association reported that 79 per cent of employees had experienced work-related stress, including lack of interest, motivation or energy. Meanwhile, a 2022 poll from Microsoft found 48 per cent of employees and 53 per cent of managers globally reported feeling burned out at work⁸.

The global COVID-19 pandemic also contributed greatly to the increasing incidences of burnout. In Australia alone, more than 52 per cent of employees admitted taking time off work due to pandemic lockdowns⁹. I had many calls from CEOs, general managers and C-suite executives who usually wouldn't reach out to me admitting they were struggling, feeling anxious and uncertain, and questioning their capacity to keep going. Many struggled with the constant lockdown restrictions and others were feeling stressed, exhausted and felt like they were approaching burnout. In addition, many companies reached out to me for assistance in supporting their employees' mental health. At the height of the pandemic, I was supporting more than 75 000 people globally in virtual seminars and workshops in a large variety of workplaces.

Statistics aside, we don't need to look too far to find many of our peers are showing signs of fatigue, exhaustion, energy depletion, lack of motivation, disengagement and anxiety, and you may be experiencing some of these feelings yourself. We don't suddenly come out of a global pandemic that affected so many people's mental health and wellbeing and miraculously return to ‘business as usual’. The world as we know it has changed; burnout is on the rise and we need to adapt to the ever-changing conditions. It's normal to feel tired sometimes, or to feel exhausted after completing a big project or after a big day at work, but it's not normal to feel like this for a prolonged period of time.

During my interviews for this book, which included people from diverse roles and industries, I discovered some common themes and causes for the way they were feeling. One common factor was the gradual onset of burnout, which could extend over weeks, months and years without people recognising the signs until it was too late. The main signs and symptoms spanned across three main areas — physical, emotional and behavioural — as depicted in figure 2.1 (overleaf).

Real-life examples of burnout

One of my clients, a managing director of a large real-estate firm, described burnout as an unrelenting weight on her shoulders all of the time. She had no appetite, and no desire or energy to do anything fun. She couldn't sleep and had a niggling, underlying feeling of anxiety all day long. On top of her demanding workload and pressure at work she had three young children under 10 years of age and the younger two had special needs. She was exhausted most of the time, doing absolutely nothing for herself, not exercising, feeding her children better than herself and she rarely slept more than three hours a night. She knew she was experiencing stress but did not know what to do about it. Then burnout snuck up on her over a period of two years without her noticing it. As she put it, she disregarded the signs and it took her more than 12 months to recover.

A busy general practitioner I worked with suffered severe burnout after running multiple medical clinics and not looking after himself. He joked to me that the advice he was giving to his patients was the exact same advice he was blatantly ignoring for himself. He got to the point where he had to stop working momentarily and take time to restore his mental health and wellbeing. After some extended leave and reclaiming some healthy habits, he was able to make a full recovery and is approaching his work in a different way now. He takes some afternoons off and incorporates regular exercise and meditation into his daily routine.

One of the most interesting definitions a client shared with me was that he described it as ‘burn-in’ first and ‘burnout’ second. By this he meant that externally he could keep going with his role and obligations and manage his stress to a certain degree, but internally he lost his sense of purpose and direction. He worked in a large, multinational company for nearly three decades and due to a variety of changes that happened within the organisation, he no longer felt valued or appreciated for the hard work he was doing. He persevered for two more years with low levels of engagement and motivation until he experienced the full mental and physical symptoms of burnout and the only solution for him was to remove himself from that environment by resigning. For nearly three decades his work had been his identity and at first, he had trouble finding a sense of purpose outside of that, but now he has found hobbies and interests and is spending more time with his family.

Stages of burnout

It is always difficult to give a definitive model for the stages of burnout because it can be a totally different experience for each person, and it fluctuates continually through various stages. However, based on my research and the conversations I have had with many people I have worked with, burnout usually (but not always) takes form in some of the following stages:

• Stage 1: You have a strong drive to work hard and prove your worth, so you work relentlessly hard to achieve this.
• Stage 2: You prioritise your work above everything else and you start letting go of your basic self-care practices.
• Stage 3: You continue meeting your high workload demands and ignore all other areas of life; e.g. family time, social life, hobbies, health and fitness.
• Stage 4: Either you notice the signs but ignore them, or you keep pushing through and are ‘disconnected’ from your feelings.
• Stage 5: You feel empty, and lack direction and purpose. You may fill the emptiness with alcohol, substances or bad habits.
• Stage 6: This further progresses to poor mental health and feelings of depression or anxiety.
• Stage 7: You may experience panic attacks or reach a crisis point with some sort of breakdown, and then have a mental, physical and emotional burnout.

All of this can be managed or prevented the quicker we become aware of it. As we saw in chapter 1, the more we become self-aware, the quicker we can avoid these stages progressing into a full burnout.

Nobody is exempt from burnout

Burnout can affect anyone, regardless of their status and intelligence — from top-ranking athletes like Australian Open winner Ash Barty, to celebrities like Arianna Huffington, some of the highest achievers in the world can experience burnout. One of the smartest people academically that I have come across in my coaching practice is a cardiovascular surgeon and associate professor who lectures in medical robotics and medical research around the globe. At first, I asked myself, how can I possibly help somebody so smart? However, I soon learned that it was a case of increasing his basic self-care habits and teaching him some simple mindfulness self-regulation techniques. His overactive mind was getting the better of him and he just couldn't switch off. He was running a busy medical practice and struggling to find a work–life balance.

He was at the middle stages of burnout when I met him, but he did not want to admit it. Luckily, his wife saw the signs and recommended he get help to prevent a full burnout. My point here is that although he is extremely intelligent and, being a doctor, knows the health consequences of not looking after yourself, he struggled to maintain his own self-care practices. Being a clinician, he was a little sceptical at first about the mindfulness and breathing techniques, but he is now practising the techniques daily and is back on track to finding balance in his life. He is also now an advocate for mindfulness and breathwork, which he shares with his patients, his family and friends, and, as he says, ‘anybody who will listen’.

A too-busy world

Sadly, I have countless examples of other high performers who work in stressful environments and have forgotten about their own self-care, especially when the work pressure and demands get high. It sometimes amazes me how ironic it is that the things we need the most to be high performers and work well through challenging situations are the very things that we stop doing when work gets busy — for example, the basics of exercise, nutrition and sleep.

It's ironic and counterintuitive that when you're feeling overwhelmed and stressed you might say things like:

• I'm too busy to exercise today.
• I'll skip the gym tonight. I've got too much to do.
• I've got too many meetings to stop for lunch (or you mindlessly eat in front of the computer).
• I'll just grab takeaway tonight. I'm too tired to cook.
• I'm too busy to have a sick day.

And the list goes on. Does this sound familiar?

We really need to change our counterintuitive mindset because what we need most to stay energised through the tough and busy periods of work and life is regular exercise, good food, adequate rest and a good night's sleep.

The good news about beating burnout

Although the causes of burnout can be rather complex, the prevention and recovery can be more straightforward. Firstly, if the WHO defines burnout as ‘resulting from chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed’, then the first step is to be more proactive towards managing your stress on a daily basis. Secondly, if burnout is a consequence of cumulatively not looking after yourself, then I'd like to offer a simple and implementable solution by reversing the equation and increasing your daily self-care practices.

Put simply:

Cumulative lack of self-care = poor health and burnout

Cumulative increase in self-care = optimal health and balance.

I know it's not rocket science, but I do know, from working with thousands of clients over the years, that we all know that basic self-care is common sense, but unfortunately it's not always common practice. There are some wonderful books available that discuss the importance of these self-care habits in more depth: whole books on exercise, detailed books on nutrition and others on sleep, meditation, stress management and wellbeing. You probably have some on your bookshelf. These are all great resources and they give valuable advice, but you actually have to take action and implement the learnings to reap the benefits. My goal with this book is to distil the complex and give you accessible, implementable information and techniques that you can easily incorporate in your life to prevent burnout and find balance again.

Self-care essentials

To beat the cumulative impact of burnout, you need to start by looking after your fundamental physical and mental health first. I know it's sometimes easier said than done, but let's take a look at some of the foundational pillars of self-care for staying physically and mentally energised. I'm not going to go into great detail here because I'm sure you know the benefits of these basic self-care practices already.

The fundamental pillars for staying physically and mentally energised are:

• Physical
  • regular exercise
  • healthy nutrition
  • adequate sleep
• Mental
  • renewal breaks
  • regular meditation (or downtime)
  • mental stimulation outside of work.

Often when I present these fundamental pillars in my workshops it is common for people to tell me that while these are great reminders, they know this stuff already. However, my hope is that they are more than great reminders and that you can start reclaiming some of these well-needed habits, because they are imperative to preventing chronic stress and, ultimately, burnout. I have seen on many occasions that reclaiming these simple self-care habits can make a world of difference to people's daily energy levels, mental clarity and focus as well as the ability to manage daily stressors better. The less-desired option is to experience a full burnout first and then slowly start including these self-care habits as part of your rehabilitation and recovery. I know which option I would take!

I invite you to ask yourself these questions every single day:

‘What have I done for me today?’ and

‘What have I done that's just for me, that makes me feel good, that gives me joy, that fills up my cup?’

Whether it's exercise, eating a nutritious meal, practising meditation, going for a walk, listening to music, being with family, chatting with friends or anything that nourishes you, make sure you do something just for yourself every single day. As simple as this sounds, it is the first step to beating burnout and finding balance in your life again. It's so important to prioritise your physical and mental health before it's too late because nobody else will. It's time to look after you first, so that you can be more energised, perform better, be more present, stay calm under pressure and enjoy life more fully.

Let's look more closely at reclaiming some of these fundamental self-care habits.

More good news

Rebecca was in the same six-week mindfulness program as Pete. She was fairly quiet in the group. She wrote lots of notes and politely participated in all of the practices, but she did not offer much during group discussions. She seemed a little tired and a bit sad. I was beginning to wonder whether she was getting much out of the sessions, but at the end of the six weeks her feedback survey was surprisingly positive.

Almost a year after I completed that program, I bumped into Rebecca at a city café during her lunch break and I invited her to join me for a coffee. She seemed positively energetic and much sprightlier than I remembered her. As we chatted, she said she really wanted to thank me for those sessions because they changed her life. She explained that she diligently kept up the daily self-care practices and referred to the notes she took during the sessions to practise the mindfulness techniques. She started by walking every morning before work instead of checking her emails; eating healthier; and meditating almost every night before bed (and consequently having a good night's sleep). These small changes translated into more energy and engagement at work, more presence and connection with her family and much less stress. She further explained that a year earlier, during my coaching sessions, she was having marriage problems, she was experiencing depression, and she couldn't see a way out of her stressful, busy life.

I asked her what caused the big change. She pondered pensively for a moment and said, ‘There wasn't a big one. There were lots of small, incremental changes that lifted me up.’ She explained that when she initiated her daily self-care, along with the mindfulness training, it progressively made her feel more energised and self-aware, which led to an upward trajectory in her life. Everything fell into place and she started enjoying her work more; her relationship with her husband and children improved; and she even took up a new hobby: playing guitar! Hearing that made my day and consolidated that small, incremental changes can have a profound long-term impact.

The good news is that burnout can be avoided if we read the signs and are proactive towards our health. There is no reason it should sneak up on us if we are mindful with our self-care practices. Let's get to work and take that first positive step towards beating burnout and finding balance!