Introduction

And I urge you to please notice when you are happy, and exclaim or murmur or think at some point, ‘If this isn’t nice, I don’t know what is’.

Kurt Vonnegut, A Man without a Country

Where are you right now as you read these words? You may be in a bookshop or a library – skim-reading before you decide whether to buy or borrow; you may be balancing the book while on the bus or train trying to shut out the noise of the commuters all around you; you may be at home curled up on the sofa or propped up in bed before you go to sleep; you may even be lying on a beach or on a sunbed next to the pool.

Wherever you are right now, you are a fortunate person: you have had an education that enables you to read these words; the curiosity that has encouraged you to examine your attitude to life; a mindset that means you believe it is possible to change; and the intelligence to decide to make that change.

If you are reading this book in any of the situations described, then you probably also have sufficient money to buy a book, to travel, to have a roof over your head and somewhere comfortable to read. Compared with more than half the population of the world, you are indeed fortunate.

This is positive thinking: it is the ability to focus on what you have rather than what you don’t have. It is about being aware of when you are happy and being able to appreciate what you have now. It is being able to reflect on things that have happened to you and being able to find something good in even the most painful events. It is about being a useful member of society who cares about other people. It is about looking forward to the future with confidence, because you know that it holds good things for you.

It is human nature to want more than we already have. We believe that more money, a new job, a different relationship will bring increased happiness. The trouble is that once we reach a certain level of comfort, having more doesn’t make us any happier. Our standard of living has risen every year for the last 50 years and yet our levels of personal happiness have remained the same. Even people who win enormous amounts of money – or, alternatively, have some personal disaster – report their level of personal happiness is unchanged one year later. This suggests that perceived levels of happiness are not affected by material or physical well-being.

If you think about people that you know, you can see that this is true: their happiness is not dependent on how much they have in a material sense. The difference is that a positive person sees life as an adventure and a challenge and continues to view life in an optimistic way, regardless of either misfortune or good luck. A negative person, however, is inward-looking and sees life in a pessimistic way. Life happens to them and seems to conspire to make them more miserable.

The benefits of positive thinking have been the subject of many research studies in recent years. Some of the results need further validation and rigorous examination, but the health benefits of positive thinking are widely accepted. These include: better general health, lower blood pressure, less pain, fewer colds, and more resilience when things do go wrong. People with a positive attitude tend to look after themselves better and so sleep well and generally don’t worry so much about the future.

Let’s imagine that you can choose what kind of person you would like to be: a positive person, who despite the ups and downs of life manages to look on the bright side and remain cheerful, or a negative person, for whom nothing is ever quite right and life is simply something to moan about. Which would you choose? Which kind of person would you prefer as a friend or partner?

Given the choice, it is difficult to see why anyone would not choose to be a positive person. If you describe yourself as an optimist or a pessimist (or one whose glass is half full or half empty) have you always done so? Perhaps you used to be more optimistic and positive about life, but you have found yourself becoming more negative with each year? The good news is that it is possible to change. However life has treated you in the past, you can change your outlook and become the kind of person you would like to be: someone with a positive attitude who enjoys life to the full. And that’s just what this book will help you to achieve.

Of course, this kind of change is not going to happen overnight: like anything really worthwhile, becoming a positive thinker takes time and effort. It means examining your own deeply-held beliefs and prejudices and being prepared to try new things that may be outside of your comfort zone.

This book is going to take you on a journey to becoming a more positive person. And in Chapter 1, I’m asking you to dive right in and visit your past to discover the good, the bad, the painful and the delightful moments from your childhood and how they have shaped your thinking. Your inclination will probably be to miss out the exercises. But remember that you need to confront your usual responses in order to question their validity and bring about change.

In Chapter 2, we will examine the language that you use routinely and the effect that certain phrases and sayings can have on your personality and behaviour. You will find a list of positive aphorisms and proverbs to replace those negative ones that have been undermining your self-belief.

Chapter 3 looks at the research that shows that it is possible to change – even if you have developed the habit of negativity over a number of years. We will consider the effect of aging and whether it is inevitable that we become more negative as we get older.

There is little point in trying to change the way that you think if you don’t, at the same time, look after yourself physically. In Chapter 4, you are encouraged to examine your lifestyle and make the changes that will lead to a healthy and happy life.

In Chapter 5, we focus on your dreams and ambitions. Positive thinkers look to the future and make plans to ensure that their dreams are realistic and achievable. You will be guided step by step through the stages that will help you to make your goals in life come true.

Chapter 6 reveals the techniques you need to help you overcome the stress and anxiety that so often seem to dominate life and contribute to a feeling of negativity.

Chapter 7 shows you how to recognise the causes of anger and how to channel it in a positive way so that you can control how you want to respond to the everyday irritations of life. It also includes a quiz, which will enable you to differentiate between the worthwhile and the trivial.

Finally, in Chapter 8, we look at some of the ways that people are tricked into thinking that their lives can change for the better without any effort. We examine superstition and magic, cosmic ordering and fortune-telling and the disastrous effect such beliefs can have on people’s lives.

Throughout the book, you will find case studies to demonstrate the benefits of thinking positively, true stories of people who have overcome adversity and gained a positive view of life, as well as inspirational quotations from literature, different religions, and world leaders. And if you want to take your learning even further, I’ve included some recommendations for additional reading and website addresses, at the end of the book.

So now grab a pad and pen, or get your laptop fired up and sitting beside you. Add to this your own determination to be guided by this book towards leading the fulfilled and positive life that you deserve and let’s get going.