Probably what’s at the core of working with people as a manager, teacher, coach, or parent is our basic understanding of people. Do we believe that human beings are attempting above all else to avoid pain and seek pleasure? Have we concluded that everyone is trying to get ahead himself, regardless of what happens to others? Do we think that people are biocomputers that have been programmed by life circumstances and have very limited possibilities for change? Do we imagine that people are small particles in a vast, unstoppable mechanism of historical forces that leave the individual as helpless as a cork in the ocean? Or do we have the opposite view, that the individual is the captain of his fate, one who can fully determine what happens, bend circumstances to his will, overcome all circumstantial obstacles? Until we can reveal to ourselves what we understand human beings to be, we cannot coach them. Without this understanding, it’s as if we are attempting to build a structure with materials that we aren’t familiar with. We don’t know what will bear weight. We don’t know what will be water resistant. We can’t tell what might be insulating. Probably no intelligent person would go ahead with such a project unless forced to by circumstances. But many of us go ahead and work with people without coming to grips with this fundamental question.
In fact, many authors and experts do not address the topic at all and work instead with an assumed theory that is never revealed. Perhaps this is because there doesn’t seem to be a need to talk about it. After all, we’ve gotten this far in management theory and education theory without such discussion. Why bring it up now? The reason is because of the most pragmatic conclusion possible—what we’re doing is not working. There is no need here to cite statistical evidence for this assertion. What is probably more interesting is people’s response to it. We tend to do more of what we’ve already done in the past, rather than to rethink what we’re doing. Without this new thinking, all we can do is continue to repeat the actions we’ve already taken, which will of course lead to the same outcomes that we already have.
Repackaging the same actions in a program called coaching is just another version of the same mistake, as is trying to shorten the amount of time taken to perform the same actions. This book, then, is meant to ask some fundamental questions, and as such it will not be an easy-to-apply collection of tips and techniques. It’s more like showing people how to design a building on strong foundations than like teaching them how to apply spackle to the cracks in the wall as they appear. The difficulty with fundamental questioning is that it’s uncomfortable and takes time, and consequently many people don’t do it. Reading this book is a chance to take some time out and rethink the way you work with people.
How to Use this Book
There are many different ways to read through this book. Some readers will start at the beginning and go all the way through, reading all the texts, charts, summaries, references, and bibliographies. Others will just glance through and read the summaries at the beginning of each chapter. Some people will look through and read the charts and try to make sense of those. Still others will read the table of contents and the index, and then will make some conclusion about the book. Instead of doing what you habitually do when reading a book, take some time to consider what it is that you want to accomplish by reading and working with this book. And then ask yourself what is the best way to do that. Intervening in habits is very important in coaching and you can begin to coach yourself by asking these questions. Each person, of course, will end up determining for himself what he does. The question remains, though—what is the basis for this action? Is it the most efficient and quickest way, or is it a proven methodology that is continually measured against outcomes? Coaching, you see, is not telling people what to do; it’s giving them a chance to examine what they are doing in the light of their intentions. So if you read this book looking for someone to tell you what to do, you won’t find it.
In any case, there is a particular organization to the book. Each chapter begins with a brief summary of its content, followed by a text that is the theoretical basis for the topic. Following are reference notes and bibliographic information. The text is deliberately simple and straightforward. You’ll find grounding for the ideas presented and references for further study in the annotated bibliography at the end of each chapter. You can use the book as a coaching tool if you allow yourself to use the distinctions presented as a way to look at your own world. What you find will be useful or not according to what you are up to. On the other hand, trying to think of exceptions to what’s presented or arguing with the book will leave you with what you already knew before you started. Yes, it does make sense to question and to struggle with a text, but dismissing it out of hand without a sincere attempt to take its notions into life will assure that we continue to remain only as capable as we are already. The proof of coaching is in action, not in argumentation. Taking the book into action will give you a chance to assess its value to you much more than arguing with it will. As a coach, you’ll find yourself taking the same tack, asking your client (the person you’re coaching) to take what you’re saying into action as a test, rather than arguing with you in an abstract way about the truth of what you’re saying. Naturally this takes trust, and in real life this must be in place before coaching starts. For you to get the most benefit out of this book as a reader, you have to give it the benefit of the doubt.
Limits of the Text
If you’ve looked through the table of contents, you’ve seen that this book takes on some formidable topics: subjects that have been the topic of philosophical, sociological, and psychological discussion for centuries. Naturally, the book is not meant to be the definitive word on any of these subjects, but is instead intended to be a spur to reveal to yourself your thoughts on the subjects. Actively reading the book will mean watching your reactions to the ideas presented, because it’s in this reaction that you will see where you stand on the subject matter. In a sense, your understanding of life is like light that can only be seen when it is reflected off something else. This book can be such an object, in which you can see your own thinking reflected, if you are open and looking for it. Your particular problems or situations may not be explicitly addressed, but you can take the notions presented and apply them to yourself and your own life, resulting in a new awareness. This awareness can be a chance to see in a new way what is happening, to form a new relationship with the situation, and to take new action. The book is not a cookbook that tells you what to combine in what preparations, how to cook it, and for how long. It is only when someone tosses away a cookbook that he or she can be a truly great chef. Similarly, we can never become very great coaches by following a step-by-step procedure that someone else gives us. Yes, it’s true that beginners need structure and instruction and those are included in the text, but they are meant to be only the preliminary steps—steps that you take only to build your competence and then throw away as you design your own steps.