Enrollment
Probably more coaching programs flounder here than anywhere else—maybe because enrollment demands that we be human; no role or force will fulfill the stage. Manipulation or misrepresentation is quickly shown up. For many potential coaches, managers, teachers, and parents, the idea of stepping out of their accustomed roles and positioning themselves as human beings equal to their potential clients is uncomfortable and disconcerting. Thus, they easily slide out of coaching and into some other mode of interacting—managing or teaching, probably. Of course, justification accompanies the slide. Some potential coaches justify themselves by saying “the client was resistent” or “the timing wasn’t right.” If you find yourself as a coach in this situation, use your discomfort as an indicator that you are on the right path and not as a sign that you must change what you’re doing.
Until now, the coach has been doing most of the work solo. In the next stage, enrollment, the coach/client partnership becomes explicit and the work shared. In enrollment, both the client and the coach make explicit what they are committed to accomplishing in the coaching program. The commitment of one member is not sufficient.
The second job in enrollment is to frankly discuss potential hindrances to achieving the outcomes. At this point, the coach can refer to the assessments she made. For example, perhaps the client is already very busy and the additional work of the coaching program would be difficult to fit in. Maybe the client has a boss, a friend, or a family member who would not be supportive of the coaching program. Maybe the outcomes are only contingently or temporarily important, leading to the likelihood that the client will abandon them. There can be many other hindrances, and without confronting them directly, honestly, and as completely as possible, the most sincere-sounding commitment will turn out to be hollow, shallow, and groundless.
Dealing with the hindrances so forthrightly may call into question what the outcomes of the program should be, and it’s perfectly fine to go back and change the outcomes in light of what is discussed around hindrances. The discussions about hindrances and outcomes may also bring into question the commitment of the client to the coach and it is often necessary to reclarify this during the conversation.
These three topics—outcomes, mutual commitment, and hindrances—form the scaffolding for the conversation; other subjects will naturally present themselves. The coach can answer questions about other people who have successfully achieved the kinds of outcomes being discussed. The coach can also build confidence in the program’s outcome by strengthening his credibility with the client. Credibility is built by citing past successes with similar coaching endeavors and in other ways connecting the outcomes to the coach’s experience.
Additionally, the coach can provide logistical information, for example, how long an activity might take, how much a piece of equipment might cost to buy, or where a particular book might be purchased. As you may be able to tell by now, the enrollment conversation swirls around all these conversations and subjects.
As a coach, you’ll know this process is complete when both you and the client know exactly what the outcomes are and what the commitment of each is to the program, and when both have a general idea about what it will take to achieve the outcomes.
Another way to look at this is that enrollment happens in the area where the commitments of the coach overlap with the commitments of the client (see Figure 8.1).
FIGURE 8.1 Where Coaching Happens
As a coach, you’ll only be interested in doing the necessary work if, by doing it, you’ll be able to further something important to you, and the client has essentially the same point of view in terms of engaging in activities that further her commitment. A key point in enrollment then is understanding yourself and your client.
In order to make yourself credible as a coach and to avoid any hint of skepticism or cynicism on the part of the client, it’s usually necessary to make explicit your commitment to doing the coaching. You’ll find that the client more readily trusts you when it’s apparent that the program is in each party’s mutual interest. As you no doubt have noticed, many times people—especially in business—are suspicious of altruistic motives, and when we attempt to present coaching as such, we may engender suspicion. At the same time, it’s necessary to make the program attractive to the client. As I’ve said earlier, the real point of the program is to have the client be more able to take action on what she is already committed to, and not simply to fulfill the requirements of the coach. By taking both sides of the situation into account, you’ll find it possible to balance the situation so that both the client and the coach are able to fully commit to the program.
The enrollment conversation itself requires that the coach listen very intently both to what the client is saying and to what the client is keeping silent about. The mood of the conversation is one of openness, forthrightness, and realistic viewing of possibilities. Be careful not to sugarcoat the program so that it seems as if it consists solely of fulfilling obviously wonderful outcomes. If you do that, you will find that your client becomes immediately discouraged at the first hint of difficulty. At the same time, do not let yourself be argued into diminishing what’s possible by the statements of the client, who may be discouraged from earlier attempts to improve.
You’ve done a good job of describing the outcomes of the program when they are attractive to both parties and it is not obvious that they would occur anyway, without coaching intervention. Additionally, the outcomes must be stated in sufficient clarity that both parties will be able to recognize them as occurring or not and also be able to discern what progress has been made toward them. Spend as much time as it takes to come to such mutual understanding.
As much as possible, avoid generally descriptive words such as successful completion or outstanding performance. Such terms are so open to individual interpretation that it’s frequently unclear whether they’ve been achieved or not, or whether progress is being made toward them. It’s not that all outcomes must be reduced to a number or statistic, but they must be observable, and not exist solely within the private assessment of the coach or client.
When I said above that it’s important to listen to what the client is not saying, I was referring to the sometimes subtle concerns clients may have. During the coaching conversation the client may be trying to appease the coach, or thinking of all the reasons she would give for failure, or recalling discouraging incidents from the past. Unless the coach is intently observing and listening to the client, these aspects of the conversation will not be revealed and dealt with and, as a consequence, the enrollment will be shallow.
The notion of commitment, which is essential in enrollment, is not universally understood in the same way. As the coach, then, I recommend that you work in the conversation to uncover what level of commitment the client is bringing. Commitment is not a matter of all or nothing; in other words, it’s not a matter of “doing whatever it takes.” We don’t have many commitments like that in our lives and it doesn’t mean that someone isn’t committed when she doesn’t act that way.
A commitment that seemed very important to us when we made it seems less important in the face of other commitments we make later, or in the face of unanticipated breakdowns or requests for help from people who are dear to us. The commitment the person makes in coaching has to fit into the whole array of commitments she is already in the middle of fulfilling. Many of us do not understand this array of commitments. That is to say, if we wrote down what we are committed to, we would discover contradictions, out-of-date commitments, or more obligations than we could fulfill. It’s simplistic to reduce this to a matter of asking someone to make coaching a high priority, because in many instances we are not in charge of prioritizing our actions, and we often forget what is supposed to be our higher priority when we are in the day-to-day continuous swirl of events.
I’m not trying to make the job sound more complex or impossible, but rather to give you grounds upon which to appreciate the kind of commitment the client brings. Perhaps by asking the following questions you can appreciate the way coaching fits into your client’s array of commitments:
- What could interrupt this coaching program for you?
- How does coaching fit into what you’re already doing?
- How will you respond when the program seems to be going too slowly, or gets boring, or repetitious, or even seems pointless?
The other side of the conversation is what commitment you’re bringing as a coach. I recommend that you ask yourself these questions to clarify your commitment as a coach. What are you willing to work through to have the program succeed? What are you willing to give up? What will discourage you? How many times can the client break a promise before you abandon your commitment? What are you willing to change about how you work with people in order to make the coaching program succeed? Are you willing to be, at times, more committed than the client is?
Yet another way of thinking about enrollment is that it’s an invitation the coach is making to the client. Invitations are very interesting requests because they also imply a promise. First, from the request end of the invitation, there is room for the invitee, in this case the client, to say yes or no, and to modify aspects of the invitation.
Consider, for example, inviting someone to your home for a party. The invitee can say yes or no without a negative consequence, tell you about what time she’ll arrive, can ask if she can bring someone else, and so on. The implicit promise made in an invitation is that, if accepted, the invitor will do what is necessary to make it worthwhile. Naturally, we invite people when we want them to say yes. The same is true in coaching. We initiate it when we really want the person to accept. Haven’t you been able to tell when someone is inviting you just because she is feeling obligated? Your clients will be able to tell the same thing about your invitations to be coached. They’ll be listening for your sincerity in fulfilling the implicit promise. They’ll be listening for the depth of your commitment, and whether or not you feel as if the program will succeed. I recommend that you address these questions within yourself before you attempt to do enrollment with your client.
All of this may seem like a dry academic exercise, but if enrollment stays merely cognitive, it’s unlikely that it will be sufficiently powerful to propel the coaching forward. As Gurdjieff and others have postulated, the human will is not directly tied to the human intellect. Emotion fits between the two. You’ve probably observed this when you’ve seen that people know what to do and yet don’t do it. People who continue to smoke cigarettes or engage in other selfdestructive behavior are clear examples of what I’m speaking about.
I’m recommending that you speak in a way that touches the emotions of your client when you’re doing enrollment, because emotions directly affect the will. All great coaches, in sports for example, have always known this and have spoken directly and sometimes exclusively to the emotions.
I’m not saying that your client has to cry or be moved to profound joy, but work to find a way to have your client experience an affective connection to the coaching. Naturally this will be easier or harder to accomplish according to the particular client, but it’s almost always possible to find a way to stir some feeling about the subject. The more profound the change you are going after, the more profound the emotional force necessary to accomplish it. For example, if you are just coaching to improve a pedestrian skill like designing a filing system, you don’t need much emotional connection to the project. On the other hand, if you’re working with a client to alter the direction of her life, you’ll find it important to tap into her emotions.
You’ll be able to tell when you have made contact with the client’s emotions in several ways. First, some clients will tell you that they are moved by something that is happening in the conversation or will somehow demonstrate their feeling. Second, you will feel a deeper connection with your client in a way that feels spontaneous and natural. Third, you will notice that you are starting to have stronger feelings on the topic yourself. To sum it up, here’s a checklist for enrollment:
- Say what could happen in the coaching effort.
- Declare your commitment to the client and the possible outcomes.
- Invite the client’s commitment.
- Confront potential hindrances.
- Continue through steps one through four until both parties feel complete.
Here is a summary of how enrollment went with Bob. You’ll see the purpose and outcomes I proposed and he accepted. I wrote them after our first conversation and after much thought. I found that the clarity and precision of such statements brought a powerful direction to coaching and enormously enhanced my credibility with the client. Additionally, when the purpose and outcome statements accurately capture the intention of the client, they provide enormous credibility for the coach, who is seen as someone who understands, appreciates, and supports the client in a profound way.
The main obstacle in the enrollment conversation with Bob was getting him to see what it would take from him to accomplish the outcomes. At first he thought it was a matter of learning to dress differently or reading a few books on leadership. The real changes, though, had to be in his comprehension of the executive world, an increased competence to deal with complex issues, and an understanding of the ebb and flow of political forces. Bob could build on some of his skills, but he would also have to develop new ones, and most challenging of all, he would have to abandon some long-term habits.
It was my job to keep presenting the path to Bob and do that in a way that was simultaneously attractive and realistic. It was as if I were enrolling him to enter training to run a marathon. Yes, there would be benefits in his health and self-confidence, but it would also require long hours of training, physical discomfort, and new skills in dealing with unexpected emotions. If an enroller only emphasizes one aspect of the program, either the benefits or the requirements, the coaching will soon fall apart. That is because someone who doesn’t remember the point of the work will likely soon abandon it, and someone who is initially prepared to deal with the obstacles will probably abandon the work at the first hint of difficulty.
I learned all this through years of trying out many different methods, so I continued to speak to Bob until we had thoroughly discussed the range of experiences he would encounter during the coaching program. Throughout our talk I kept assuring him that I was confident in his ability to do it and in my competence in coaching him through the whole process. He had many questions, mostly in the form of “What if.?” Some I answered, some I postponed until the scenario he was concerned about actually occurred. Our conversation lasted about one and one-half hours, and at the end we both agreed to the purpose and outcomes presented below:
Purpose
- You will make a greater impact on people so that your career at your company continues to progress.
Outcomes
- You will have a better understanding of how people perceive you.
- You will have a strategy for dealing with each of your important work relationships.
- You will be seen as decisive and effective, and considered to be a strong candidate for executive-level positions.
The four books in this list don’t directly discuss enrollment; however, each addresses in distinctive and pertinent ways the conditions in which enrollment occurs.
Havens, Leston. Making Contact. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press, 1986.
An original, practical presentation of how to use language to create, conduct, and complete therapeutic partnerships.
Johnson, Vernon E. Intervention. Minneapolis, MN: Johnson Institute Books, 1986.
Presents a powerful methodology for working with very recalcitrant clients. The principles are adaptable to other coaching structures.
Lavine, T. Z. From Socrates to Sartre: The Philosophic Quest. New York: Bantam Books, Inc., 1984.
Every client lives within one or more of the discourses discussed in this clear, precise survey of the Western philosophical tradition.
Tannen, Deborah. You Just Don’t Understand. New York: Ballantine Books, 1990.
A study (with many verbatim examples of relevant studies, citations, and acute analysis) of the differences between the communication styles of men and women. This book is very useful in untangling seemingly insoluble relational and communicative issues. A great aid in designing and conducting coaching interventions.