-
- absolute terms 165
- acknowledgment 149–50
- Action on Hearing Loss 29
- active communicators 11, 27, 70
- active listening xii, 52–7, 58, 61, 70–3, 127, 167–8
- advice
- asking for 96
- giving 131–3
- age, communication styles –10
- ahs, ers and ums 33
- Alice's Adventures in Wonderland (Carroll) 23
- ‘always’ 162
- Alzheimer's Society 60–1, 83–4
- ambiguous speech
- Amnesty International 152–4
- ‘and’ not ‘but’ 160–1
- anxiety, overcoming 108–9
- appreciation, expressing 135
- arguments, listening to both sides 154
- Aristotle 142, 143
- assertive communication xi
- assumptions 15–17, 61–2, 71, 150
- autistic people 30, 31, 67–8
- Awdish, Rana 145
-
- backfire effect 151–4
- bad news, giving 128–31
- banter 18
- barriers to communication see miscommunication
- beat method 32
- Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement (BATNA) 171
- body language xiii, 13, 60, 64, 77–88, 105, 113
- leakage 81
- meaning of 79–81
- persuasion 148, 170
- practice 85–6
- ‘reading’ other people 82–3
- boring conversation 104, 105, 106, 111
- business managers' jargon 15
- ‘but’ not ‘and’ 161
- Butler, Samuel 152
-
- ‘can’ not ‘can’t' 163
- Carnegie, Dale 14
- Caroselli, Marlene 154
- Carroll, Lewis 23
- clarity 24, 42–3, 46, 147–9
- clichés 126
- closed questions 62–3, 66–9
- clusters, non‐verbal communication 80
- communication difficulties, people with ix, 29–32, 59–61, 67–8, 83–4
- communication styles
- adapting your style 27–8, 70–1
- cultural differences –10
- individual styles 10–13
- persuasion 143–4
- communication technology 10
- compliments, giving 133–5
- compromises 168–9
- conciseness 42, 43–4, 132
- confidence 107–9, 148–9
- conflict, defusing 72–3
- connectors 12, 144
- connotative meaning 14
- conversation 93–117
- advice, asking for 96
- answering questions 103–4
- anxiety, overcoming 108–9
- asking questions 97–8, 100, 101
- body language 105, 113
- boring conversation 104, 105, 106, 111
- confidence‐building 107–9
- conversation starters 95–6
- duration of 104–5
- ending conversations 107, 110–12
- entertainment topic 99
- food topic 99
- healing rifts with friends 113–15
- how to make small talk 94–101
- initiating 94
- introductions, making 97
- jazz analogy 101
- keeping the conversation going 103–7
- making the first move 94
- mending broken relationships 113–15
- names, remembering 97
- offensive remarks 111, 152–4
- openers 95–6
- over‐explaining 104
- pauses 102, 112
- phone conversations 108
- planning 113, 128
- practice 107–9
- questions 97–8, 100, 101, 103–4
- racist remarks 111, 152–4
- random topics 100
- remembering names 97
- responding to questions 103–4
- restoring friendships 113–15
- silences 103, 106
- small talk 94–101
- social activities 94, 109–10
- stories 96
- talking for too long 104–5
- tips 96, 98, 101, 102, 106, 107
- topics 98–103
- traffic light rule 104–5
- travel topic 99
- work topic 98–9
- about yourself/your ideas and opinions 101–3
- ‘could’/‘should’ 161–2
- counterarguments 154–6
- Covey, Stephen 61
- cultural differences –10
- curiosity 61–2
-
- deaf people ix, 29–30
- dementia, people with 30–1, 59–61, 83–4
- denotative meaning 14
- direct communication –9
- disability, people with 29–32, 59–61, 83–4
- distractions 59, 70
- distress
- emotional support 127–8, 130
- restoring relationships 113–15
- ‘don't’ 163
- Doyle, Arthur Conan 151
- Drivel Defence software 45
-
- editing 42–3
- effective communication 23–38
- adapting your style 27–8
- feedback 35–6
- headlines 24–6
- jargon 34–5
- listener's perspective 26–7
- pauses 29–30, 32, 33
- questions, inviting 35–6
- vocal delivery 28
- email 10
- emotional support 121–38
- advice, giving 131–3
- bad news, giving 128–31
- clichés 126
- compliments, giving 133–5
- do's and don'ts 123–8
- encouragement, giving 133–5
- healthcare setting 124
- listening 125, 130
- praise, giving 133–5
- professional advice/support 133
- silences 125
- thanks, expressing 135
- validation 123
- when to let go 132–3
- emotions
- cultural differences
- empathy 61
- listening 57–8
- miscommunication 17–18
- non‐verbal communication 78
- persuasion 142, 148
- questions 64
- empathy 61, 72, 122, 123
- encouragement, giving 133–5
- English communication style –9
- entertainment, conversations about 99
- ers and ums 33
- ethos 142–3
- examples, in written communication 44
- exercise 126
- experiences, conversations about 101–3, 132
- extreme words 164
- extrovert/introvert continuum 11–13
- eye contact , 60, 105
-
- generational differences –10
- Gibran, Khalil 17
- gobbledygook 14–15, 35, 44
- good writing 45
- group dynamics 83
-
- ICT (information and communication technology) 10
- ideas, conversations about 101–3
- indirect communication , 23–4, 46
- information and communication technology (ICT) 10
- information, giving 131–3
- interests and positions 165–7, 169–70
- interruptions 60, 61, 63, 71
- introductions, making 97
- introvert/extrovert continuum 11–13
- intuition 81–2
-
- Japanese communication style
- jargon 11, 14–15, 34–5, 44
- judgements 15–17, 61–2, 71, 150
-
- Kipling, Rudyard
- Krishnamurti, Jiddu 77
-
- leakage, body language 81
- listener's perspective 26–7
- listening 51–74
- active listening xii, 52–7, 61, 70–3, 127, 167–8
- emotional support 125, 127, 130
- and emotions 57–8
- judgmental listening 15–17
- mindful listening 71, 77
- open‐minded listening 150–1
- persuasion 149–51, 167–8
- reflective listening 52–7, 167–8
- time for 59
- tips 57, 59, 63–4, 65, 70
- logos 142
-
- managers' jargon 15
- Mandela, Nelson 26
- meaning 14, 23–4, 79–81
- media 162
- Meetup groups 109–10
- Mehrabian, Albert 77–8
- memory loss, people with 30–1, 59–61, 83–4
- mindful listening 71, 77
- miscommunication , –18, 51
- mixed messages 85
- mobile devices 107
-
- names, remembering 97
- National Autistic Society 30, 31, 67–8
- negative language 164
- negative news, giving 128–31
- negotiation 165–71
- Nemko, Marty 105
- ‘never’ 162
- NHS website 30–1, 59–60
- noisy environments 30
- non‐verbal communication xiii, 13, 60, 64, 77–88
- intuition 81–2
- leakage 81
- meaning of 79–81
- and people with dementia 83–4
- practice 85–6
- ‘reading’ other people 82–3
- see also body language
-
- Obama, Barack 32
- offensive remarks 111, 152–4
- older people, communication style –10
- open‐minded listening 150–1
- open questions 62–3, 66, 97, 123–4, 127
- opinions, conversations about 101–3
- option‐offering 146–7
- over‐explaining 104
- overstatements 54, 164
-
- Pancoast, Mal 141
- paraphrasing 53–4, 55
- passive aggressive communication 18
- pathos 142
- patience 159
- pauses 29–30, 32, 33, 102, 112, 122, 164
- personal space , 84
- persuasion xiv–xv, 72, 141–74
- acknowledgment 149–50
- alternatives to negotiation 171
- ‘always’ 162
- ‘and’ not ‘but’ 160–1
- backfire effect 151–4
- Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement 171
- body language 148, 170
- ‘but’ not ‘and’ 161
- ‘can’ not ‘can’t' 163
- clear communication 147–9
- compromises 168–9
- confidence 148–9
- ‘could’/‘should’ 161–2
- counterarguments 154–6
- ‘don’t' 163
- and emotions 142, 148
- ethos 142–3
- fault‐finding language 164
- healthcare settings 145, 157–8
- honest approach 148
- incentives to cooperate 146
- interests and positions 165–7, 169–70
- listening 149–51, 167–8
- logos 142
- loss/profit incentives 146
- negotiation 165–71
- ‘never’ 162
- offensive remarks, dealing with 152–4
- option‐offering 146–7
- the other person 143–7, 165–71
- pathos 142
- patience 159
- pauses 164
- positions and interests 165–7, 169–70
- positive language 159–64
- profit/loss incentives 146
- racist remarks, dealing with 152–4
- ‘should’/‘could’ 161–2
- steel‐manning 156–8
- threatening language 164
- timing 147
- tips 159, 162, 164, 169, 170
- workplace settings 155–6, 171
- phones 107, 108
- physical contact 60, 84, 111
- Plain English Campaign 15, 44–5
- planning, conversations 113
- Plato 35
- poetry 32
- positions and interests 165–7, 169–70
- positive approaches
- advice, giving 132
- persuasion 159–64
- praise, giving 133–5
- problems in communication see miscommunication
- professional advice/support 133
- purposeful communicators 11–12, 70–1
-
- questions
- advice, giving 132
- answering 103–4
- anticipating 129
- asking 61–9, 97–8, 100, 101
- closed questions 62–3, 66–9
- emotional support 123–4, 127
- and emotions 64
- focus words 65
- funnel questions 64–6
- inviting 35–6
- open questions 62–3, 66, 97, 123–4, 127
- rephrasing 129
- rhetorical questions 68–9
-
- racist remarks 111, 152–4
- radio 162
- rapport 72
- reading aloud 32
- ‘reading’ other people 82–3
- reciprocal communication, rules of ix–x
- reflective listening 52–7, 167–8
- relationship break‐ups, emotional support 125
- repeating 52–3, 55, 56, 60
- respect 167
- rhetorical questions 68–9
- rhythm 32
- Robson, David 151
- rudeness –9
- rules of communication ix–x
-
- Samaritans 127–8
- sarcasm 24
- Shaw, George Bernard
- ‘should’/‘could’ 161–2
- silences, in conversation 103, 106, 125
- ‘silent treatment’, dealing with 113–15
- slang 11
- small talk see conversation
- social activities 94, 109–10
- software 45
- song lyrics 32
- Spanish communication style –9
- speech delivery 28, 32, 79
- steel‐manning 156–8
- stories 96
- stress 18
- styles of communication
- adapting your style 27–8, 70–1
- cultural differences –10
- individual styles 10–13
- persuasion 143–4
- summarizing 53, 54, 55, 56, 72
- supporting others see emotional support
-
- technology 10
- television 162
- texting 10
- thanks, expressing 135
- theorists 12–13, 71
- Thoreau, Henry David 100
- threatening language 164
- The Times 35
- Tinsley, Ian 35
- traffic light rule 104–5
- travel, conversations about 99
- twaddle 14–15, 35
-
- ums and ers 33
- understatements , 54
- upset
- emotional support 127–8, 130
- restoring relationships 113–15
-
- websites
- Alzheimer's Society 60–1
- Amnesty International 152–4
- Drivel Defence 45
- Meetup groups 109–10
- National Autistic Society 30
- NHS 30–1, 59–60
- professional advice/support 133
- Samaritans 127–8
- words we use 13–14
- work, conversations about 98–9
- workplace settings 155–6, 171
- written communication xii, 41–7, 114
- appreciation, expressing 135
- bad news, giving 131
- clarity 42–3, 46
- conciseness 42, 43–4
- editing 42–3
- headlines 41
-
- Yorston, Sue 153
- young people, communication style 10
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