Index

  •  
  • absolute terms 165
  • acknowledgment 149–50
  • Action on Hearing Loss 29
  • active communicators 11, 27, 70
  • active listening xii, 52–7, 58, 61, 70–3, 127, 167–8
  • advice
    • asking for 96
    • giving 131–3
  • age, communication styles 9–10
  • ahs, ers and ums 33
  • Alice's Adventures in Wonderland (Carroll) 23
  • ‘always’ 162
  • Alzheimer's Society 60–1, 83–4
  • ambiguous speech 8
  • Amnesty International 152–4
  • ‘and’ not ‘but’ 160–1
  • anxiety, overcoming 108–9
  • appreciation, expressing 135
  • arguments, listening to both sides 154
  • Aristotle 142, 143
  • assertive communication xi
  • assumptions 15–17, 61–2, 71, 150
  • autistic people 30, 31, 67–8
  • Awdish, Rana 145
  •  
  • backfire effect 151–4
  • bad news, giving 128–31
  • banter 18
  • barriers to communication see miscommunication
  • beat method 32
  • Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement (BATNA) 171
  • body language xiii, 13, 60, 64, 77–88, 105, 113
    • leakage 81
    • meaning of 79–81
    • persuasion 148, 170
    • practice 85–6
    • ‘reading’ other people 82–3
  • boring conversation 104, 105, 106, 111
  • business managers' jargon 15
  • ‘but’ not ‘and’ 161
  • Butler, Samuel 152
  •  
  • ‘can’ not ‘can’t' 163
  • Carnegie, Dale 14
  • Caroselli, Marlene 154
  • Carroll, Lewis 23
  • clarity 24, 42–3, 46, 147–9
  • clichés 126
  • closed questions 62–3, 66–9
  • clusters, non‐verbal communication 80
  • communication difficulties, people with ix, 29–32, 59–61, 67–8, 83–4
  • communication styles
    • adapting your style 27–8, 70–1
    • cultural differences 8–10
    • individual styles 10–13
    • persuasion 143–4
  • communication technology 10
  • compliments, giving 133–5
  • compromises 168–9
  • conciseness 42, 43–4, 132
  • confidence 107–9, 148–9
  • conflict, defusing 72–3
  • connectors 12, 144
  • connotative meaning 14
  • conversation 93–117
    • advice, asking for 96
    • answering questions 103–4
    • anxiety, overcoming 108–9
    • asking questions 97–8, 100, 101
    • body language 105, 113
    • boring conversation 104, 105, 106, 111
    • confidence‐building 107–9
    • conversation starters 95–6
    • duration of 104–5
    • ending conversations 107, 110–12
    • entertainment topic 99
    • food topic 99
    • healing rifts with friends 113–15
    • how to make small talk 94–101
    • initiating 94
    • introductions, making 97
    • jazz analogy 101
    • keeping the conversation going 103–7
    • making the first move 94
    • mending broken relationships 113–15
    • names, remembering 97
    • offensive remarks 111, 152–4
    • openers 95–6
    • over‐explaining 104
    • pauses 102, 112
    • phone conversations 108
    • planning 113, 128
    • practice 107–9
    • questions 97–8, 100, 101, 103–4
    • racist remarks 111, 152–4
    • random topics 100
    • remembering names 97
    • responding to questions 103–4
    • restoring friendships 113–15
    • silences 103, 106
    • small talk 94–101
    • social activities 94, 109–10
    • stories 96
    • talking for too long 104–5
    • tips 96, 98, 101, 102, 106, 107
    • topics 98–103
    • traffic light rule 104–5
    • travel topic 99
    • work topic 98–9
    • about yourself/your ideas and opinions 101–3
  • ‘could’/‘should’ 161–2
  • counterarguments 154–6
  • Covey, Stephen 61
  • cultural differences 8–10
  • curiosity 61–2
  •  
  • deaf people ix, 29–30
  • dementia, people with 30–1, 59–61, 83–4
  • denotative meaning 14
  • direct communication 8–9
  • disability, people with 29–32, 59–61, 83–4
  • distractions 59, 70
  • distress
    • emotional support 127–8, 130
    • restoring relationships 113–15
  • ‘don't’ 163
  • Doyle, Arthur Conan 151
  • Drivel Defence software 45
  •  
  • editing 42–3
  • effective communication 23–38
    • adapting your style 27–8
    • feedback 35–6
    • headlines 24–6
    • jargon 34–5
    • listener's perspective 26–7
    • pauses 29–30, 32, 33
    • questions, inviting 35–6
    • vocal delivery 28
  • email 10
  • emotional support 121–38
    • advice, giving 131–3
    • bad news, giving 128–31
    • clichés 126
    • compliments, giving 133–5
    • do's and don'ts 123–8
    • encouragement, giving 133–5
    • healthcare setting 124
    • listening 125, 130
    • praise, giving 133–5
    • professional advice/support 133
    • silences 125
    • thanks, expressing 135
    • validation 123
    • when to let go 132–3
  • emotions
    • cultural differences 9
    • empathy 61
    • listening 57–8
    • miscommunication 17–18
    • non‐verbal communication 78
    • persuasion 142, 148
    • questions 64
  • empathy 61, 72, 122, 123
  • encouragement, giving 133–5
  • English communication style 8–9
  • entertainment, conversations about 99
  • ers and ums 33
  • ethos 142–3
  • examples, in written communication 44
  • exercise 126
  • experiences, conversations about 101–3, 132
  • extreme words 164
  • extrovert/introvert continuum 11–13
  • eye contact 8, 60, 105
  •  
  • generational differences 9–10
  • Gibran, Khalil 17
  • gobbledygook 14–15, 35, 44
  • good writing 45
  • group dynamics 83
  •  
  • ICT (information and communication technology) 10
  • ideas, conversations about 101–3
  • indirect communication 8, 23–4, 46
  • information and communication technology (ICT) 10
  • information, giving 131–3
  • interests and positions 165–7, 169–70
  • interruptions 60, 61, 63, 71
  • introductions, making 97
  • introvert/extrovert continuum 11–13
  • intuition 81–2
  •  
  • Japanese communication style 8
  • jargon 11, 14–15, 34–5, 44
  • judgements 15–17, 61–2, 71, 150
  •  
  • Kipling, Rudyard 9
  • Krishnamurti, Jiddu 77
  •  
  • leakage, body language 81
  • listener's perspective 26–7
  • listening 51–74
    • active listening xii, 52–7, 61, 70–3, 127, 167–8
    • emotional support 125, 127, 130
    • and emotions 57–8
    • judgmental listening 15–17
    • mindful listening 71, 77
    • open‐minded listening 150–1
    • persuasion 149–51, 167–8
    • reflective listening 52–7, 167–8
    • time for 59
    • tips 57, 59, 63–4, 65, 70
  • logos 142
  •  
  • managers' jargon 15
  • Mandela, Nelson 26
  • meaning 14, 23–4, 79–81
  • media 162
  • Meetup groups 109–10
  • Mehrabian, Albert 77–8
  • memory loss, people with 30–1, 59–61, 83–4
  • mindful listening 71, 77
  • miscommunication x, 5–18, 51
  • mixed messages 85
  • mobile devices 107
  •  
  • names, remembering 97
  • National Autistic Society 30, 31, 67–8
  • negative language 164
  • negative news, giving 128–31
  • negotiation 165–71
  • Nemko, Marty 105
  • ‘never’ 162
  • NHS website 30–1, 59–60
  • noisy environments 30
  • non‐verbal communication xiii, 13, 60, 64, 77–88
    • intuition 81–2
    • leakage 81
    • meaning of 79–81
    • and people with dementia 83–4
    • practice 85–6
    • ‘reading’ other people 82–3
    • see also body language
  •  
  • Obama, Barack 32
  • offensive remarks 111, 152–4
  • older people, communication style 9–10
  • open‐minded listening 150–1
  • open questions 62–3, 66, 97, 123–4, 127
  • opinions, conversations about 101–3
  • option‐offering 146–7
  • over‐explaining 104
  • overstatements 54, 164
  •  
  • Pancoast, Mal 141
  • paraphrasing 53–4, 55
  • passive aggressive communication 18
  • pathos 142
  • patience 159
  • pauses 29–30, 32, 33, 102, 112, 122, 164
  • personal space 8, 84
  • persuasion xiv–xv, 72, 141–74
    • acknowledgment 149–50
    • alternatives to negotiation 171
    • ‘always’ 162
    • ‘and’ not ‘but’ 160–1
    • backfire effect 151–4
    • Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement 171
    • body language 148, 170
    • ‘but’ not ‘and’ 161
    • ‘can’ not ‘can’t' 163
    • clear communication 147–9
    • compromises 168–9
    • confidence 148–9
    • ‘could’/‘should’ 161–2
    • counterarguments 154–6
    • ‘don’t' 163
    • and emotions 142, 148
    • ethos 142–3
    • fault‐finding language 164
    • healthcare settings 145, 157–8
    • honest approach 148
    • incentives to cooperate 146
    • interests and positions 165–7, 169–70
    • listening 149–51, 167–8
    • logos 142
    • loss/profit incentives 146
    • negotiation 165–71
    • ‘never’ 162
    • offensive remarks, dealing with 152–4
    • option‐offering 146–7
    • the other person 143–7, 165–71
    • pathos 142
    • patience 159
    • pauses 164
    • positions and interests 165–7, 169–70
    • positive language 159–64
    • profit/loss incentives 146
    • racist remarks, dealing with 152–4
    • ‘should’/‘could’ 161–2
    • steel‐manning 156–8
    • threatening language 164
    • timing 147
    • tips 159, 162, 164, 169, 170
    • workplace settings 155–6, 171
  • phones 107, 108
  • physical contact 60, 84, 111
  • Plain English Campaign 15, 44–5
  • planning, conversations 113
  • Plato 35
  • poetry 32
  • positions and interests 165–7, 169–70
  • positive approaches
    • advice, giving 132
    • persuasion 159–64
  • praise, giving 133–5
  • problems in communication see miscommunication
  • professional advice/support 133
  • purposeful communicators 11–12, 70–1
  •  
  • questions
    • advice, giving 132
    • answering 103–4
    • anticipating 129
    • asking 61–9, 97–8, 100, 101
    • closed questions 62–3, 66–9
    • emotional support 123–4, 127
    • and emotions 64
    • focus words 65
    • funnel questions 64–6
    • inviting 35–6
    • open questions 62–3, 66, 97, 123–4, 127
    • rephrasing 129
    • rhetorical questions 68–9
  •  
  • racist remarks 111, 152–4
  • radio 162
  • rapport 72
  • reading aloud 32
  • ‘reading’ other people 82–3
  • reciprocal communication, rules of ix–x
  • reflective listening 52–7, 167–8
  • relationship break‐ups, emotional support 125
  • repeating 52–3, 55, 56, 60
  • respect 167
  • rhetorical questions 68–9
  • rhythm 32
  • Robson, David 151
  • rudeness 8–9
  • rules of communication ix–x
  •  
  • Samaritans 127–8
  • sarcasm 24
  • Shaw, George Bernard 5
  • ‘should’/‘could’ 161–2
  • silences, in conversation 103, 106, 125
  • ‘silent treatment’, dealing with 113–15
  • slang 11
  • small talk see conversation
  • social activities 94, 109–10
  • software 45
  • song lyrics 32
  • Spanish communication style 8–9
  • speech delivery 28, 32, 79
  • steel‐manning 156–8
  • stories 96
  • stress 18
  • styles of communication
    • adapting your style 27–8, 70–1
    • cultural differences 8–10
    • individual styles 10–13
    • persuasion 143–4
  • summarizing 53, 54, 55, 56, 72
  • supporting others see emotional support
  •  
  • technology 10
  • television 162
  • texting 10
  • thanks, expressing 135
  • theorists 12–13, 71
  • Thoreau, Henry David 100
  • threatening language 164
  • The Times 35
  • Tinsley, Ian 35
  • traffic light rule 104–5
  • travel, conversations about 99
  • twaddle 14–15, 35
  •  
  • ums and ers 33
  • understatements 8, 54
  • upset
    • emotional support 127–8, 130
    • restoring relationships 113–15
  •  
  • validation 123
  • vocal delivery 28, 32, 79
  • volunteering 110
  •  
  • websites
    • Alzheimer's Society 60–1
    • Amnesty International 152–4
    • Drivel Defence 45
    • Meetup groups 109–10
    • National Autistic Society 30
    • NHS 30–1, 59–60
    • professional advice/support 133
    • Samaritans 127–8
  • words we use 13–14
  • work, conversations about 98–9
  • workplace settings 155–6, 171
  • written communication xii, 41–7, 114
    • appreciation, expressing 135
    • bad news, giving 131
    • clarity 42–3, 46
    • conciseness 42, 43–4
    • editing 42–3
    • headlines 41
  •  
  • Yorston, Sue 153
  • young people, communication style 10
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