There are many reasons most criticisms fail to get the job done, but one of the most common is that the critic does not tell her recipient what she wants to have happen; she does not give a solution or option on how to handle the task. The recipient then tries, with good intent, his own solutions, which far too often are not what the critic had in mind.

Seeing no change, the critic becomes frustrated, angry, and destructively critical of the recipient. From the recipient's point of view, this is unfair. After all, he is making a concentrated effort to resolve the criticism. ''Why try if this is what I get for my efforts?'' becomes his attitude. He begins to feel that the burden of change is solely on his shoulders.

Getting no help and seeing little positive effect from his efforts, he begins to feel impotent, his self-esteem is diminished, and the criticism remains unresolved. The result is that everybody loses. This sorry state of affairs can be avoided if the critic offers a solution as part of her criticism.

What is the solution to the criticism? It is simply how you think the criticism can be resolved. It is your answer to improving the situation. The obvious reason for providing this to your recipient is to give him a clear direction for improvement. Telling your subordinate ''You need to be more of a team player'' may be improvement-oriented but is still not as effective as saying, ''You can improve your peer relationships by not canceling meetings with them at the last minute, getting your share of the work to them on time, and verbally being supportive of their efforts.'' You are suggesting specific actions to take; you are teaching appropriate skills and knowledge.

Besides giving a clear message of what you want and what you expect, offering solutions is important because it demonstrates your helping spirit. Your recipient sees that you have taken the time and energy to think about how he can become a better worker. He sees that your intent is to help rather than put him down. You become an ally instead of an enemy. You are showing your recipient that he is not alone, that you will share the responsibility for resolving the criticism. When this message is communicated, it converts criticism into a mutual problem-solving process, one that is cooperative. Change becomes easier when you have a partner (recall Tip #7).

Many people, especially managers and supervisors, balk at offering the solution, on the grounds that their recipient should be able to generate the solution himself. ''It's his job; I shouldn't have to do it for him'' is the attitude. If you follow this thought, you need to remember the principle of response generalization—teach people how to respond in situation A and when situation B comes along, they will come up with a similar response modified to the new situation. Applied here, recognize that you are teaching him an example of what constitutes an effective response, instead of thinking that you are doing your subordinate's job.

For example, if you tell a saleswoman that she needs to improve the way she waits on customers, she will want to know how. Telling her ''It's your job to know how'' will be of little help. However, instructing her to accompany customers to the dressing room not only gives her a specific action to take but also helps her understand what the concept of attentive service is all about. The chance increases that when she later sees a customer who has purchased several items leaving the store, she will spontaneously approach her and ask her if she needs assistance with her packages, then thank her for her business and invite her to return. To reiterate, offering a specific solution helps you teach appropriate skills and knowledge in a general sense.

What about the times when you don't know the solution? Acknowledge this and add, ''If we put our heads together, we can figure it out.'' Usually, you get the power of positive criticism.