Appendix 1 Suggested responses to assignments

CHAPTER 3

Assignment 3

The style is that of an academic essay rather than that of a feature article. It is very wordy. Apart from that, it sounds like a pitch to an editor. Have you removed such expressions as:

the primary question is …

this article attempts to explore

it is my personal belief that …

And have you removed most of those ‘I’s’ and ‘this’s’?

Suggested start:

(First, perhaps, a brief anecdote about a patient who was the subject of euthanasia and the people involved.) Then:

At some time in their careers most nurses will have thoughts of euthanasia. They will meet patients without hope of regaining much quality of life. I talked to two nurses, with opposing points of view. Philippa … Anne … (In each case give a brief summary of their struggle to adhere to the principles inculcated by their training.)

CHAPTER 5

Assignment 3

One or two of the points you would need to add:

•  Why would you call complaining ‘a duty’?

•  The different ways of complaining: telephone, face to face, in writing, email, recourse to the law.

•  Give examples of when different methods were used and results.

•  The pros and cons of each method.

CHAPTER 11

Assignment

The feature ‘House-husbands: how well do they cope?’

The jargon includes such phrases as ‘reflect this growing trend’ and ‘maximize our position in the workforce’.

Updating examples: references to such films as Mr Mum and Trading Places need to be updated and their relevance to the discussion indicated.

‘Research shows. … ’ Indicate research evidence more clearly (for example, giving brief details of any survey that provided evidence), but avoid using the word ‘research’.

An attention-grabbing intro is needed. Facts, figures, case study, quote? Pars 5, 6 and 7 rewritten might serve.

Consider how to order:

1 Problems/solutions? Or:

2 Problems/solutions, problems/solutions …, one by one?

Going with the first of these, something like:

•  Intro

•  The couple’s problems (difficulties, disadvantages) as a team

•  The individuals’ problems separately

•  Others’ problems

•  Solutions (compensations, advantages): follow order of problems

•  Conclusion.

The feature is long on problems and short on solutions. The conclusion begins too feebly: ‘Let’s hope that …’.

The solutions provided by the various people wheeled on at the end (employers, etc.) should have been discussed throughout.

In what ways should their attitudes change and what should they be doing in the future?

Interviewees ‘say’ rather than ‘said’, which suggests it’s all over and done with. It’s still their opinion, one presumes.

CHAPTER 12

Assignment 2

Was it like this?:

By 11 September 2000 the jihadis (holy warriors) were using Yemen as a major base of operations. In cooperation with local extremist groups, also kidnapping to achieve political ends, they sank an American warship in Aden harbour – their most spectacular success.

CHAPTER 15

Assignment 1

Check your words with a good thesaurus.

Assignment 3

Generally, did you get the main selling point upfront?

(a)  Did you avoid a blatant plug?

(b)  Did you recognize the needs of various age groups?

(c)  Did you avoid hyping it up?

CHAPTER 16

Assignment 2

Did you avoid repeating too-well-known facts about the celebrity (that tend to be repeated in the cuttings)? Did you find points in each case that would not be too familiar to the target audience and which would grab them?

CHAPTER 19

Check your pieces for style against similar pieces (even better, pieces covering the same things) in the target publications.

CHAPTER 20

Check that you’ve adapted cultural references to the new targets. For the USA, for example, find American equivalents for references to British TV shows, meals, sports and so on. Check that you’ve used American spellings.