Simile

A simile is a brief statement that one thing is like another. Usually, it compares something big and complex to something much smaller and simpler, as in the movie Forrest Gump:

“Life is like a box of chocolates …”

It sets up an image in our mind that has more power than a direct explanation. When the relevance of the image is not obvious, it also allows you to explain the meaning and set up a memorable “aha” moment. Forrest Gump continues:

“… you never know what you are going to get.”

Similes are therefore at their most powerful when the listener has to work hard to find the connection. If I state that:

“Influence is like a tree …”

You can find a number of possible reasons. I am letting you do the work, so you will make my point for me. Once you have done the work, I can then put my point of view:

“… because the more roots it grows, the stronger it becomes.”

At the opposite extreme, beware of clichés. They have little or no power to influence and can become a source of sarcastic amusement. How many athletes can “run like the wind”?

Metaphor

Metaphors have more power than similes because they are stated more confidently. Instead of “influence is like a tree”, a metaphor would actually equate the two: “influence is a tree”.

At their best, metaphors become the new names for things that are hard to describe, like Churchill’s “iron curtain” or Robert Frost’s “road not taken”.

Part of the power of Dr King’s speech is in the number of metaphors. In the four paragraphs above, there are ten metaphors and only one simile. It gets more power because four of the metaphors are repeated; one of them six times.

Analogy, parable, allegory

These three things all draw an extended comparison between one thing and another. Parables and allegories take the form of a story, where the subject of the story represents a more abstract or personal idea. The term “parable” tends to describe narratives that are designed to teach a moral or religious point, whilst “allegories” are more widely used to draw political or social comparisons.

When we hear a series of metaphors and similes in a consistent way, the speaker is building up an analogy. For example, “Influence is like a tree and where each root touches something, it persuades. The roots are nourished by the ideas they soak up from the soil.” As this example starts to show, if you try to sustain an analogy for too long it starts to get weaker and appear absurd.

In all these cases, you are using one thing, which your audience can readily relate to from their everyday experience, to symbolise another, more complex, idea.

Seven ways to be more specific

The following approaches will keep your argument specific:

1. Name names.
2. Quote examples.
3. Describe processes.
4. Use numbered lists.
5. Use numbers and statistics.
6. Give baselines for comparisons.
7. Avoid words like “could”, “might”, “can” or “may”.

Anchoring

Ethiopia published its population in July 2008 as 79,221,000. Malaysia published its population in 2009. What is the population of Malaysia?

Make an estimate or have a guess.

If you have a response, answer a second question: what is the relevance of Ethiopia’s population to your estimate of Malaysia’s population?

The answer to the second question is “none”. Yet most of us will find our answer to Malaysia’s population is heavily influenced by the number 79,221,000. If the first information I’d given you was the population of Greece, at 11,306,183 in January 2010, most people’s answer would almost certainly have been a lower number for the population of Malaysia. Unless, that is, you already had a good idea of Malaysia’s population.

Hearing a number, even an irrelevant one, before a question will influence your answer. This is because, in the absence of any other information, it creates a benchmark in your mind: an anchor. Tversky and Kahneman conducted many experiments. The answer, by the way, is 28,306,700 – but don’t worry if your own estimate was much higher.

Ease of recall

When something has happened recently, or when we have an example to hand, it has more power to influence our judgements. People mistrust train transport more after an accident has been in the news and take out more insurance after a natural disaster like flooding. By reminding people of relevant examples, you strengthen the argument you are making.

Familiarity

Linda studied ecology at university and is deeply concerned about the environment. She wears a lot of second-hand clothes at the weekend and rides a bike. She does not own a car. Which of these is more likely?

If you picked (b) then you are probably in the majority. When Kahneman and Tversky asked a similar question, 85% chose the answer like (b). In fact, since the two things are unrelated, (a) is more likely – if 100 Lindas held senior posts in a bank, then probably not all of them would be active in a campaign group.

People pick (b) because there is a narrative that fits a familiar pattern. When we encounter a story that makes sense, we are more likely to believe it than simply a blind chance.

This is one reason (there are others) why so many people connected autism with the MMR vaccine in the UK. Statistically, some children who are autistic will show the first symptoms near to the time of an early childhood vaccine. But coincidence makes a poor story. One thing causing the other makes some sense out of a tragedy.

To use this bias with integrity, you need to create an honest story that illustrates your point.

Win or lose

There is a second reason why people were willing to stop their children from having a life-saving vaccine in the UK (measles is a killer). It seems that people are more incentivised to protect themselves against a loss than to secure a gain.

A £1 lottery ticket has a statistical value of 50 pence. For every £100 of tickets bought, £50 goes into the prize fund and the rest goes to administration, good causes and profit for the operators and their agents.

So if you buy a ticket for £1, and I then offer to buy it back, how much would you accept? Rationally, you should accept 51 pence but few would. Few would even accept £1. In the back of your mind, that ticket could be worth £1,000 or even £1 million. And the fear of losing that would outweigh the benefit of a small gain compared to the amount you would expect to get statistically.

Making progress

1 Agreement frame. Establish right from the outset that you are in fundamental agreement. This can pave the way for introducing a variant point of view, focused on a detail:
“You say my report isn’t good enough. I agree … and …”

2 Outcome frame. Set the discussion as a search for a shared goal or target. Once you have a shared outcome, the process of working together and securing agreement becomes far easier:
“Let’s discuss what we want to achieve.”

3 Solution frame. Focus the conversation on finding solutions that satisfy the constraints. In problem solving a powerful way to unstick people focused on the problem is to re-state the problem as a solution:
“If we are going to raise the money we want to, the solution will be how to …”

4 Action frame. Create a plan that will get things done. Breaking a job into manageable steps and allocating those steps fairly among a team makes it easier for everyone to contribute and get things done:
“Let’s allocate responsibilities and set some deadlines.”

New ideas

5 “What if?” frame. Create options by assuming some obstacles could be removed. “What if?” gives you the option to remove the problem temporarily from the real world with an imagined “fix”, find a solution, and then revert to the new problem of how to make the fix:
“We need more space. What would happen if we already had the space, but were using it for something unimportant?”

6 Creativity frame. Give permission to make suggestions that are wild and provocative. The most important criterion for encouraging true creativity is to remove any sanctions or penalties for being wrong:
“It is OK to suggest anything – we will suspend judgement at this stage.”

7 Playful frame. The most creative people in the world are children. They make no assumptions about what is and is not possible and they test every boundary. Enhance creativity by inviting people into that child-like state:
“Let us play with the ideas, say whatever we want and experiment.”

Reviewing

8 Process frame. When conversations get sticky, you can never go wrong by stepping back and reverting to a process for resolving the problem. If you cannot agree on an idea, agree on a process to review the idea:
“Let’s look at how to proceed from here and find a common approach.”

9 Evidence frame. Evidence is one of your most powerful tools as an influencer. The evidence frame establishes that the conversation is about what evidence is relevant, what is available, and how to evaluate the evidence:
“The next thing to focus on is evidence; let’s start by listing what we need and what we have.”

10 Critical frame. Pre-empt criticism by introducing it yourself. If you do this, you are showing a willingness to be tested, and a recognition that few ideas are without compromises and faults. By exposing the criticisms, you have a chance to deal with them yourself:
“Let’s turn to the potential shortcomings of this idea.”

11 Emotional frame. No decision will ever be made without at least an element of emotion. So introduce this explicitly, so that all parties recognise the part emotion is playing:
“So, how do you feel about this subject …?”

12 Intuitive frame. In areas where people have real expertise – not least when a decision is about themselves – intuition is a powerful source of information that can lead to a reliable decision, even if we cannot articulate why:
“So, how do you feel about this subject …?”

The five-year-old test

If you want to communicate powerfully, a brilliant test of your language is this: what would a five-year-old make of it? As adults, we can recognise lots of big and complicated words, and we can unscramble long and complex sentences. But doing so takes effort; in computer language, it takes processing power. “Short and simple” requires less work – it penetrates the clever outer layers of our adult brain and ends up at the inside child brain, where we instantly understand it.

Take a selection of newspapers and magazines from your local newsagent. Which have the more skilled communicators: The Observer, The Times, New Statesman and New Scientist, or The Sun, Daily Mirror, Hello and FHM? Ignoring the merits of the content and your own personal preferences, which set can be read by more people? Getting your message across simply is a skill, but of course having a powerful message is equally important. If you can do both, then you have the power to influence.

The influence equation

We can summarise this into a simple equation:

The impact of your message =
the quality of your message/the effort required to understand it.

Keep it positive

If I tell you not to think about what you are going to do tomorrow, what creeps into your mind? It is the clever, grown-up bit of your brain that has to figure out the meaning of logical words like “not”, “don’t”, “either”, “neither”, “must”, “could”, “should” and “cannot”. The quick and powerful communication comes from “real” words: nouns, which describe things, and verbs, which describe actions. Use these words to carry the meaning of what you want to say.

The power of “but”

“You have done a wonderful job but …”

As soon as we hear the word “but”, our brains prepare for the truth. We immediately discount the words that have gone before and think to ourselves, “Aha, here comes the truth”.

So, be very careful with your use of the word “but” – and its more sophisticated cousins: “although”, “yet” and “however”. They have the power to destroy an important part of your message. You will usually be able to rephrase what you wanted to say using the word “and” instead: “You have done a wonderful job, and …”

Big picture or small detail?

Some people want to understand your message in its widest context and are not really interested in specific details. They are “big picture” people who like grand ideas and want to understand the deeper meaning of the ideas you are promoting. The question “why?” is important to them because it directs them towards purpose.

Other people may focus on the details; they like mechanisms, facts and data. If you talk in generalities, they will be frustrated by your unwillingness to get down to specifics. They need you to describe the “how” of things before they will be prepared to trust you.

Logic or feelings?

There are two fundamentally different approaches that people will take to making decisions. Some will focus on impersonal logic and make decisions with their head. To them, “the truth” is essential; more so than tact. If something is not expressed logically or is unsupported by the facts, it will literally not make sense to them and they will reject it absolutely.

Facts and logic are far less important to others, however. They prefer to focus on people and values, and make their decisions with their heart. To them, harmony is more important than some abstract “truth”. They want to deal with people compassionately, and value feelings as much as facts.

Always remember that whichever of these two I may prioritise, my own emotional response to a situation will be an important determinant in the way I assess your message. If you want to influence me, you may not choose to appeal to other people’s emotions, but you must always appeal to mine.

The need for persistence

Some people automatically “get it” as soon as you have made your point. Others need the chance to dwell on your ideas for some time before they get it. Some even need to go over the same ground again and again before they convince themselves of the point you have made. Powerful rhetoric gives you a way to repeat ideas for the people who need it, in such a way that those who “got it” quickly do not perceive you as patronising them.

On a one-to-one basis, you should be constantly checking levels of understanding and responding with new information or restating what you have already said, according to the response you get.

Repetition

There are many ways to use repetition for effect. We might think of a farmer extolling the virtues of organic produce: “Carrots are tastier, tomatoes are tastier, beans are tastier, apples are tastier, free-range eggs are tastier.”

Here, each item in his list ends with the same word. Alternatively, he could have started with the same words: “Tastier carrots, tastier tomatoes, tastier beans, tastier apples, tastier free-range eggs.” Notice also how he has omitted the normal “and” that would have preceded the last item on his list, to give the effect of a long and powerful list. He could also have achieved a similar effect by the repetition of “and” between each item: “Carrots are tastier and tomatoes are tastier and beans are tastier and apples are tastier and free-range eggs are tastier.”

Our farmer could simply have repeated a key word: “Carrots are tastier; everything is tastier” or used his repetition to amplify his meaning: “Everything is tastier; tastier in every meal.” He could have repeated the idea of tastier by using alternative words: “Everything is tastier, less bland, more flavoursome.” Each of these creates emphasis and rhythm, making the words more powerful.

There are lots more ways he could have used repetition. He could repeat the first word of one phrase as the last word of the next: “Tastier vegetables, and meat that is tastier” or the opposite, starting the second phrase with the last word of the first: “Vegetables are tastier, and tastier meat.”

Another way you can create emphasis is by repeating sound. The three common ways to do this in English are to repeat the starting sound: “Tastier peaches, pears and plums”; to repeat the ending sound: “Tastier swedes, peas and cheese”; and to repeat the overall sound of the words: “Tastier leeks, beans and peas.”

As a final example, taking a lead from former British Prime Minister Tony Blair’s famous “Education, education, education”, our farmer could have said: “Everything is tastier, tastier, tastier.”

Which of these examples is best? Often it will be a matter of personal preference and the need not to overdo the effect.

The power of threes

Simply putting together a list is a powerful rhetorical technique, but speakers and writers can emphasise that list by putting together precisely three items – three words, three phrases or three sentences. Something about the rhythm this creates makes a triplet sound good to us.

It also seems to sound best if the one element that differs or is longer comes at the end: “… life, liberty, and the American way.”

The emotional power of lists of three is so great that even when lists of four are used, we typically remember only three.

Opposites

In our example, our farmer might say of organic farming: “It reduces toxins: it increases flavour.” Reduces and increases are opposites, which he sets against one another. Here are three more ways to do this: three Cs.

• Contradiction. The farmer could, for example, have said: “I don’t say it increases toxins; I say it reduces them.”
• Contrast. The farmer could have contrasted organic methods with chemicals: “Organic farming reduces toxins; chemicals increase them.”
• Comparison. The farmer could have compared the effects of organic methods and chemicals: “Organic farming reduces toxicity more than chemicals increase yields.”

All these examples have a “this not that” structure that is responsible for some of the most memorable phrases we have, like Neil Armstrong’s “One small step for a man; one giant leap for mankind”.

Climax

Our farmer has used a repeating list to build expectation, then a pair of opposites to heighten the tension. He will now cap it all. This structure of increasing power is called a climax (from the Latin word for ladder, and linked to our word, climb).

He could, for example, use a blunt statement with no rhetorical flourish to create real contrast, and use content that is also very different; not about farming matters, as the earlier parts are, but about economics: “Organic food is sustainable.”

“Carrots are tastier, tomatoes are tastier, beans are tastier, apples are tastier, free-range eggs are tastier. Organic farming reduces toxins: it increases flavour. Organic food is sustainable.”

Questions and answers

One way to command attention from an audience is to ask questions. If you ask a question in a presentation or in text, you have two choices. What are they?

You could tell your reader or audience the answer, or you could leave the question unanswered; a rhetorical question, such as: “How could anybody oppose organic food?”

If you do choose to answer, you can use your question to introduce the next part of your argument, or to deal with a question or objection that you are anticipating: “Some would ask, ‘How can organic food be more sustainable?’ I will answer that question.”

Over- and understatement

Deliberate overstatement, sometimes called hyperbole, is used a million times a day by school children. To be effective, it must either be witty or it must avoid being so overstated that it draws attention to itself, rather than the point you want to make. If the latter happens, then the hyperbole becomes a source of ridicule.

Whilst our farmer might have said, “Carrots are tastier, tomatoes are tastier, beans are tastier, apples are tastier, free-range eggs are tastier, hundreds of things are tastier”, it is unlikely to have had a positive effect if there were a gross exaggeration: “Carrots are tastier, tomatoes are tastier, beans are tastier, apples are tastier, free-range eggs are tastier, millions of things are tastier.”

A particularly British speech pattern is to do the opposite, and understate things for effect: “For people who want to live healthier lives, better food is worth having.” Indeed, the British are so fond of dramatic understatement that they sometimes turn a statement on its head: “For people who want to live healthier lives, better food is no bad thing.”

Names

There is one more word that has enormous power. For each person, their name is a power word. Use it from time to time in a conversation and they will feel special. If, on the other hand, you overuse their name, you will sound phoney – like poorly trained shop or call centre staff.

The other vital thing to remember when using my name is to use it properly. If I introduce myself to you as Mike, then call me Mike: not Michael, Mickey, Mick or Mikey. Any one of these may cause offence or make me uncomfortable. Many people who use a contraction of a name (like Mike for Michael) will only use the full name in a family context. When you call me Michael, you remind me of my mum. Since you are not my mum, it sounds patronising. Other people use only the full version of their name. Contracting it may sound overfamiliar or just plain rude.

When you use names in print, make sure you get the spelling correct. This is especially the case with names from a different culture, or names which have a range of different spellings, such as Graeme or Graham, Briony or Bryony.

If you see a name in writing before you hear it, particularly a name from a different language or culture to your own, do ask how to pronounce it properly. Most people will be glad you care enough to get it right, rather than dismissive of your ignorance. When you hear them say their name, repeat it back to them to check you have it right, and then take care to get it right again and again.

Puny words

Some words will diminish the impact of your message, by hinting at doubt. If you can, avoid using them.

Finally, when you are speaking, one class of words will really steal your influence from you. We find articulate speech particularly persuasive, so the more you fill your speech with “ums” and “ers”, the weaker you sound. One or two examples are natural, but if you do it too often, they will become noticeable and will raise unconscious doubts about your confidence in what you are saying.

This class of influence stealers also includes whole phrases, which mean nothing, but signal self doubt: “You know what I mean” suggests that I don’t. “Isn’t it?” suggests I need your confirmation to convince me, and “I mean” tagged on to the end of a statement suggests I am trying to persuade myself.