Self-image

One of the strongest drivers of our behaviour is how we see ourselves. If your self-image is as a diligent person who gets things done on time, no matter who asks you, then that self-image will do what you promised.

Whilst we accumulate our self-image through a lifetime of experiences and choices, there are ways to influence people’s perception of themselves. Recent experiences weigh particularly heavily on our self-image. They may not counter a lifetime of perceptions, but stacking sufficient new experiences can overwrite an out-of-date image. This is the basis of a range of therapies.

We often hear that you need to change attitudes before you can change behaviours. In fact, it will work the other way around and is the basis of one of product marketers’ favourite approaches: “try before you buy”. What marketing professionals know is that if you can influence someone sufficiently to change a behaviour, the new behaviour can alter somebody’s self-image.

Good examples of this approach in action are:

• Encouraging a child to spend just one night camping can lead them to start to think of themselves as adventurous.
• Persuading a junior manager to make their first short presentation to peers will help them think of themselves as a presenter.

You can gauge a measure of the strength of a self-image from the way that people talk about themselves. Compare the colleague who tells you they like to run at the weekend with another who tells you that they are runner who trains at weekends. One has told you about their behaviour; the other has also told you about their sense of identity as a runner.

Making commitments

One of the strongest influencing techniques is to actively engage the potential for cognitive dissonance. Very few people think of themselves as deceitful, inconsistent or dishonourable. You can use this powerful self-image that most of us have of honesty and integrity to improve the likelihood that someone will comply with a request.

Rather than simply asking me to do something, ask me to confirm that I will do that thing. Make sure you wait until I give you an answer. Once I have said yes, my Jiminy Cricket circuit has been primed. To not do that thing will set up cognitive dissonance – a feeling of unease because there is conflict between two things:

• my self-image as reliable and honourable;
• my knowledge that I have made a commitment.

I now have two ways to reduce my inner conflict. I can rationalise my lack of action by finding a sufficient excuse that will allow me to remain consistent with my self-image, or I can just get on and do it. In many cases, the latter course will be the easier and I will get on with what I have promised.

Two factors will enhance the power of my commitment:

1. The more public that commitment is then the stronger its effect will be – get them to commit in front of other people.
2. The more permanent that commitment is then the stronger its effect will be – get them to put their commitment in writing or put their name to it.

You can further enhance this effect by setting a specific timeframe, so that Jiminy Cricket knows when to start bugging them. Also let them know the consequences to you or other people if they let you down, so Jiminy can also bug them about the effect of their failure.

One step further is to cite a generic value identity, saying something like: “It’s amazing how some people can make a promise and then discard it lightly.” This now transforms compliance with a commitment into a test of character. Who would want to fail that!

Helping people to comply

Imagine you arrive at a car park in a desperate hurry for an important meeting. Unfortunately, every space seems to be full. As you consider whether to risk double-parking, you spot the car park attendant watching you carefully, from a spot where there is just enough room for your car – even though it is not a marked space. What should you do?

The first thing to do is to let them know that they have the final decision and that you will respect the choice they make. This means that they have nothing to react against; unlike the alternative of demanding their help or telling them what you would do. When you have done this, set out the relevant facts, including an acknowledgement of the disadvantages as well as advantages of the action you are requesting: “I know there must be a reason why that space is not a marked parking space.” Since they already know the disadvantages, your openness will come across as a concession. Finally, appeal for their help: “I really am in a bit of a fix, so I really would be grateful if there were anything you could do to help me out.”

To take this one step further, an additional way to help people comply rather than resist is to ask them to imagine a future in which they have done what you asked. This has the effect of making the possibility seem more real. If, for example, you want a colleague to take some time out of their own work to help you prepare for a presentation, you could ask them how they would feel if, between you, you produce a really first-class piece of work that has a significant impact on your company’s future.

Salespeople often use this approach. You are shopping for a new television and the shop assistant starts by showing you the top-of-the-range model. They might ask you: “Just imagine how you’ll feel, relaxing on your sofa, enjoying such a great picture quality and such powerful and clear sound. Do you like movies, sport or documentaries?” You cannot help but answer their question in your mind, and “pow” – into your mind pops an image of yourself watching a broadcast on this great new TV. You want it now.

We want choice …

This conclusion seems contradictory. Years of psychological research shows that people actually want more choice. Indeed, many brands compete by offering their potential customers a wider range of options than their competitors. Two researchers called Sheena Iyengar and Mark Lepper got to the bottom of what is going on here.

Wilkin & Sons make a huge range of jams and conserves and some specialist grocers stock them all. The two researchers found one such store in California and set up tasting booths in the store, which allowed shoppers to taste as many jams as they liked. Some shoppers saw a booth with 24 of the more exotic flavours of jam, and others saw a booth with just six of those flavours.

The booth offering the smaller choice of six jams attracted 40% of the shoppers to try jams, each trying an average of 1.4 jams. The big booth with the wider range of jams attracted 60% of shoppers to taste jams and they each sampled an average of 1.5 jams.

What this seems to show is we do prefer more choice – shoppers were more likely to stop and sample from the wider choice.

… or we think we do

Iyengar and Lepper did one more thing at their booths. They gave everybody who tried a jam at either booth a voucher for a $1 discount on any of the Wilkin & Sons range of jams. By coding the vouchers, they could track buying patterns of people who had sampled from the big booth or the small booth. The results were startling.

Out of 104 people who sampled jams from the small choice booth, 31 of them (30%) subsequently bought a jam with their voucher. However, of the 145 shoppers who stopped and tasted jam at the big booth, only four of them (fewer than 3%) actually bought a jam.

In subsequent experiments, the researchers looked at some of the factors that might have confounded this study. Their final conclusion is that too much choice, while appealing, does indeed hinder decision making.

Limit choice

When you want to get action from someone, you must limit their choices. Give them enough choice so that they feel in control, but not so much that they feel that making a decision is too hard and they are too likely to get it wrong.

Imagine you are shopping for your first digital camera. If you go into a shop that offers you six well-chosen models, we know that you are more likely to buy than if the shop stocked a range of 24 different models. We also know that if there were two such shops side by side, you would probably go into the better-stocked shop. So the solution is to stock a wide range, and then create a display offering a more limited choice to those who do not feel expert enough to understand the whole range.

Limit information

Another factor contributes to our discomfort with decision making: too much information. Think back to our camera store: how much information should the store owner give you about each camera?

We make decisions most quickly and most confidently when we have a small amount of salient information. More information confuses us or introduces doubt. When trying to influence behaviour, your task is to give a small amount of relevant information to support decision making.

One thing and another

Many people have had an experience of buying an expensive piece of equipment they wanted (like a stereo or a car) and then finding themselves buying a few small extras that they would probably never have needed. It may be software or a mouse for your new computer, a shirt or blouse to go with the new suit you just chose, or even an extra memory card for that new digital camera you bought (from the shop with six cameras on special offer, each of which had two great reasons why it is best for a particular type of use).

When you are spending £100, an extra £8.99 does not seem a lot and salespeople are adept at using this principle. It works in other contexts too:

• “While you are writing that 50-page report, could you do me a two-page summary for the website?”
• “Thank you for granting me three weeks’ extended leave for my honeymoon; would it also be OK to have next Friday off so my partner and I can go and speak with our caterers?”

Notice how these also make use of a previous commitment, to make it harder to say no to a second, consistent, request.

One thing and another, and another

The camera shop has three models of digital camera on special offer:

• the Lumo 350, for £84.99;
• the Penton C600 for £128.50;
• the Candid XLP for £169.00.

All three cameras do what you need but they all have slightly different specifications. Which one will you buy? It turns out that more than half of people in your situation would buy the middle-priced model. When restaurants add a new main course to their menu that has a higher price than any other, they may not sell very many of them, but sales of other high-cost choices go up, as does the average value of a meal ordered.

When you are offering me options, it makes sense to use the comparison effect to make your middle option more attractive, by offering me a “top” option that you do not expect me to select.

One thing and another, or both

The “black and white” effect has one last trick up its sleeve. Dan Ariely is a Professor of Behavioural Economics. So he was intrigued by an advert for The Economist. It offered three options:

1. online subscription: $59;
2. print subscription: $125;
3. print and online subscription: $125.

He decided to ask his students which they would go for. Of 100 students, 16 opted for the online subscription, none opted for the print subscription and 84 opted for the two subscriptions together.

Since none opted for option 2, he decided to see what would happen if he did not offer that option, so he offered options 1 and 3 to another 100 students. This time, something strange happened. Only 32 of them went for the double subscription and 68 opted for the online subscription only.

This is not rational behaviour (Ariely’s book is called Predictably Irrational). In the absence of option 2, students are weighing the added benefit of the print copy and fewer than a third of them find it justifies the extra $66. When option 2 is available, most students see option 3 as getting something for nothing and jump at the bargain. That’s brilliant!

Confusion

There is an old saying among salespeople: “If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance; baffle them with nonsense.” It turns out from research since the late 1990s that this is literally true. If, during a sales pitch, you make a confusing or nonsensical statement, then complete the pitch with a reason to buy, you will increase the proportion of people who will buy.

The most quoted example is in the sale of a package that costs $3.00. When researchers told customers that the price was $3.00, 40% of customers bought it. However, when they told customers that the pack was “300 pennies, which is a bargain”, sales went up to 80%.

It seems that the momentary confusion of hearing something absurd creates an increase in the amount of work our brains have to do and therefore depletes our ability to analyse the offer. When we hear the “hook” or the reason to buy (“which is a bargain”), this triggers compliance through the power of “because”, as you will shortly see, in Chapter 5.

You will need to be cautious when using this approach, however. If you throw in too much incongruity, it will be very noticeable at a conscious level and also distract from the hook.

Shock

If someone is behaving unreasonably, then there is a good chance that reasoning with them will not influence their behaviour. Sometimes you need to drop a bomb on their unconscious mind and interrupt the unreasonable pattern. A favourite trick of one therapist, when he senses a client getting hysterical, is to “accidentally” spill a cup of water all over the table between them. Most people have a reflex-like instinct to try to mop up the mess which, for our therapist, is just what he wants because it interrupts the unhelpful response.

Strange as it may seem, sometimes a well-chosen use of shouting, swearing or physical gesture can change behaviour radically.

Humour

The nicest way to interrupt our thought patterns is with humour. Jokes and other humorous comments or actions all produce a moment of surprise that catch us off guard.

Not only does the humour charm us and trigger likeability; it also signals confidence and hence credibility. It is hard to be genuinely funny when we feel challenged or stressed.

If you use humour, you will gain my attention, distract my mental processes, make yourself likeable and show a confident presence. Humour is a powerful part of the influencer’s toolkit.