RULE 88

Check the small print

I could write you a contract promising you a cast-iron, no get-out clauses, guaranteed, money back without quibbles, cross my heart and hope to die in a cellarful of rats, sort of thing that would stand up in a court of law and withstand any scrutiny you cared to put it under. What am I selling? It doesn’t matter. Small print can cost you dear. Check it carefully.

I love the sort of small print classics, such as taking shoes back that don’t fit only to be told they can’t be refunded if they have left the store. Or the small print on medications that say they can make you sick and you can’t sue. Or the small print on computer software that says you are bound by the agreement if you break the seal on the packaging – and the software can’t be tested until it has been run and you can’t run it until you’ve installed it and you can’t do that until you’ve broken open the packaging. Agh!

There’s a wonderful story of someone who sold their soul to the devil. The devil wanted five years off their life and the person reckoned it was worth it. Oh no! He didn’t check the small print. The devil took five years off his life all right – the first five years. Agh! Can you imagine what missing the first five years would do to you? And you thought credit card companies were bad?

What do I mean by ‘checking the small print’? What do you actually have to do? Three basic things:

• Obviously check that it covers you for what you want.
• Check there are no hidden clauses that will twist the basic meaning of the contract.
• Check for penalty clauses – ones that penalise you for late or non-payment of anything.

It’s a bit like checking the small print on food packaging. If you don’t like what’s in it, don’t buy it. Move on up the aisle and buy organic, green, fresh, unpasteurised, whatever. If there is small print, the hairs on the back of your neck should be rising. There is only one reason for it to be there – to trip you up. Move on.