RULE 101

Find ways to give people money without them feeling they are in your debt

I love this one. It is such a challenge to give money to people who:

• haven’t asked for it
• need it
• deserve it
• will use it wisely/well.

And the challenge is to get them to accept it without feeling indebted to you, beholden, grudging, guilty, whatever. This is one of those rules we all ought to practise no matter how much money we have. I reckon you get to start as soon as you become a parent and give your kids big money for cars and things. They are always saying: ‘I’ll pay you back’, and you know they won’t. But if you can give them money without all that stuff being attached to it, you are doing well.

There are a variety of tips to help you give your money away without them feeling guilty or you embarrassed:

• The ‘You might win the lottery one day’ approach. This is a good one as it implies that there, but for a bit of luck, you go. All they’ve got to do is be as lucky as you and they’ll pay you back.
• The ‘Fortunes change and they go down as well as up’ approach. Basically what you are saying is that you are flush at the moment but that might not always be the case and when your fortunes go down, they can help you out.
• The ‘I like my friends to be happy’ approach. How can I be happy when I see my friends in misery/trouble/debt/whatever? If you aren’t happy then I can’t be, so I’ll help myself to become happy by helping you to become happy. How can anyone refuse?
• This is the ‘Why shouldn’t I help my friends?’ approach – a subset of the one above but still valuable and useful. Look, it’s what friends are for. You’ve helped me out in the past/are helping me by…/have always offered help anyway so why can’t I do the same for you?
• The ‘Help me out here, I’ve got a tax problem’ approach. Look, if I can offload some of this cash I can alleviate my tax burden, so can you help me by taking some? I would be ever so grateful.
• ‘The Taxman will only get it after I’m dead approach’ so can I give it to you now and see the pleasure it’ll bring you rather than you be grieving and moping after I’ve gone?
• Help them with a housing upgrade by taking equity in the new house. They pay nothing until they snuff it, at which point your investment will probably show better appreciation than the interest rate it would have earned on deposit. And if it doesn’t so what? Profit was never the point anyway, but they can feel happy about it.

I’m sure if you put your mind to it there will be many more you can come up with. Hey, this one is fun. You get to help others, give loads away, share your wealth and be creative all at the same time.