RULE 24

Only by looking wealthy can you become wealthy

I once watched a man looking at a job vacancy board. He was dressed in scruffy trainers, wore a hood (up), was unshaven and slouched with his hands in his pockets. You just knew he was going to go for job interviews dressed like that – and fail to get them. And then he’d claim it was unfair, nobody would give him a break, life sucks and so on.

I’ve held many job interviews and have always been seriously under-impressed with the way people turned up. The lack of effort is always staggering – as is the lack of research and interest. ‘Why do you want to work for this company?’ ‘Dunno.’ ‘What do we do here?’ ‘Dunno.’

I’m trying not to be an old reactionary here. But I can’t fail to notice that the lack of effort is directly related to the lack of results. The poor look poor. Not because they have to. They wear a uniform that marks them out. If they change that uniform they change their circumstances because people will react differently to them. We aren’t too far removed from the great apes and they relate to each other based a lot on how they move and look. Those who look weak and needy are treated as such. The powerful will strut and look confident. What I am suggesting is that you need to look powerful and confident. We should all look powerful and confident.

Ah, but how can we afford to dress as if we are more wealthy? Come on, come on. I expected better of you. Think laterally. The great apes do it with no clothes at all. It’s about the way you walk rather than what you wear. It’s about the overall image you project.

But this doesn’t mean you can get away with dressing inappropriately or badly – anyone can dress smartly. Borrow a decent outfit or buy a good suit cheaply (no, no, don’t buy full price and just put it on your credit card). For the interview for my first casino job, I bought a fabulous jacket from a charity job – double breasted, wide satin lapels – and proper bow tie you had to tie yourself (none of those rubbish ones on elastic for me). I practised for hours until I got it right and turned up for the first night looking more James Bond than trainee. I made a dramatic impression. Obviously I had got it wrong and had to go and buy a simple black suit from the high street afterwards, but I was remembered as somehow standing out, stylish, not scruffy. And I got offered the plum trainee job despite not being in any way qualified for it. This stuff works you know. Dress wealthy and people will assume you are and treat you accordingly. Learn style, class, how the wealthy dress. Look poor and you’ll get poor service. And whatever you do, no bling. Yes, rich rap stars can get away with it but you can’t. Nor can I. Restrained elegance is what we shall aim for. Old money. Quality. Simple lines. Good haircut. Clean nails. You know the sort of stuff I mean.