UNDERSTANDING TRUE SELF-CONFIDENCE

True self-confidence is an inner quality that establishes your leadership and enables you to empower your team. Far more than just competency at your job or mastery of certain skills, true self-confidence is the attribute that allows you to see and accept yourself exactly as you are. With true self-confidence you are comfortable in your own skin, recognizing your strengths as well as your weaknesses. You know what you know, and you know what you don't know. If you have true self-confidence, you are committed to continual self-improvement to become even better in the areas at which you already excel, while developing those in which you are not as strong.

When you are truly self-confident, you know that you cannot be good at everything. You are proud of your accomplishments and seek to contribute your unique strengths and talents to the organization. However, you know that there will always be people who are smarter, more talented, more articulate, and more successful than you are. With true self-confidence, you recognize your shortcomings, weaknesses, and past failures without the need to hide, overcompensate, or beat yourself up. Yours is a lifelong journey; you are never done as long as you are open to learning.

To be a values-based leader, you must possess true self-confidence, the third of the four principles of values-based leadership. True self-confidence stems directly from self-reflection, which allows you to engage in self-assessment. With true self-confidence, you are able to gain a balanced perspective by soliciting input from others who may have more knowledge or expertise on a particular issue than you do, while also developing and empowering your team of talented individuals with complementary strengths.

Often I am asked why I call it “true” self-confidence. Some people argue that either you are self-confident or you are not. I beg to differ. There are people who adopt a persona that might make others think that they have self-confidence, but they are not the real deal. Instead, they possess false self-confidence, which is really just an act without any substance. These individuals are full of bravado and are dominating. They believe they have all the answers and are quick to cut off any discussion that veers in a direction that runs contrary to their opinions. They dismiss debate as being a complete waste of time. They always need to be right—which means proving everyone else wrong.

Posturing and bragging are not expressions of self-confidence. Instead, they are the signs of a person who has no balance, is disinterested in others' opinions, and will not even attempt to understand alternative perspectives. Incapable of admitting a mistake or changing an opinion, this person cares only about being right.

At the other extreme are those individuals who clearly lack self-confidence and who focus, almost fanatically, only on what they are not good at. They cannot recognize or appreciate the strengths they do have because all they can see are their deficits. Neither of these views results in a strong leader. True self-confidence, in contrast, allows you to appreciate the skills, attributes, and qualities that have gotten you where you are today, while also acknowledging that you can still develop in other areas.

True self-confidence is necessary not only for your personal leadership but also to elevate the performance of your team and the entire organization.