WHEN A LEADER HAS FALSE SELF-CONFIDENCE

When people with false self-confidence end up in leadership roles, the negative effect is compounded because of the adverse influence their attitudes and behaviors have on everyone else. When these leaders are in charge, team members are not motivated to voice their opinions and challenge the boss. They are too intimidated even to think about it. Communication between the boss and the team is one-way; discussion is stifled, and all learning stops. Sometimes a boss who lacks true self-confidence will resort to being intentionally vague so that he can never be accused of being wrong or making a mistake.

Early in my career, I was among four analysts assigned to work on a problem and then present our findings to the boss. On the basis of those findings, the boss was supposed to tell us how to move forward. After leaving the meeting with him, the four of us headed back to our cubicles.

“Did he say yes or no? Do we proceed or not?” one of my colleagues asked.

One person said he was absolutely certain the boss said yes. Another said that no, the boss wasn't in favor of going ahead with the plan. I wasn't certain what he had said at all.

At first, I was naïve in my thinking and wondered why we weren't able to understand the boss's comments. Maybe the boss didn't communicate clearly, so I would have to try harder to understand the next time. Then it dawned on me: the boss wanted to keep things nebulous so that no one knew whether he had said yes or no. Without a clearly communicated directive, the boss was never in a position to be wrong, which his ego wouldn't be able to handle. This wasn't a case of the boss wanting to foster an open-ended discussion. He just didn't want to be pinned down. In a warped kind of a way, the boss's ability to talk and say absolutely nothing was an impressive skill. However, it was very dangerous because it resulted in a lack of direction, bickering and dissention among the team members, and low morale.

Time and again, I have observed that the reason some companies make bad decisions and do crazy, unpredictable things is that, because of a lack of true self-confidence, the leader discourages input from others. True self-confidence is often largely absent in many companies, which means that people with valuable knowledge and information are prevented from speaking up. When people view their jobs in an organization as making the boss happy, leaders end up with the worst of all worlds: the team members feel completely disempowered, and the boss does not have a full range of perspectives and information to make the best possible decisions. When people can't question, they can't influence.

Leaders with true self-confidence avoid creating ambiguity and want to empower their team to provide feedback, voice their opinions, and challenge others, including the leader. Truly self-confident leaders have no trouble turning to team members who have greater ability or expertise in certain areas. They do not buy into the myth that bosses shouldn't let their teams know they have weaknesses. They remember when they themselves were in a junior position and knew the areas in which their bosses were less competent. The only thing they didn't know was whether their bosses were aware of their weaknesses. Leaders with true self-confidence are completely comfortable sharing their strengths and weaknesses openly so that everyone can optimize the combination of abilities and talents across the total team.