Types of Self-Talk

These negative messages are the enemy to a positive, abundant, and successful life. But amid the many and constant thoughts that occur in your mind, learning to identify and recognize those that are harmful messages can be tricky. Their well-disguised messages slip into your mind, often unnoticed. Sometimes they communicate in words, other times with images, and sometimes an impression is enough to ensure your support of their agenda. There are several varieties of self-talk and they each have different roles. You have lived with these various characters for so long that you often are not even aware of them. They are experts at disguising their messages so that they appear as rational, logical, or responsible concerns. You are often aware of their warnings, alarms, or condemnations. Yet you don’t always recognize that their input is negative, misleading, or totally false.

Four Basic Types of Thought Characters

Following are four basic thought characters. These character descriptions can enable you to identify your own negative thoughts more easily. You must determine if the thoughts that seem troublesome sound like the Backseat Driver, the Defeated, the Financial Fret, or the Superhero.

The Backseat Driver: Feeds on Low Self-Esteem

The Backseat Driver is constantly analyzing and judging you. He emphasizes your weaknesses, flaws, shortcomings, and past errors. He compares you to others by highlighting their best qualities and contrasting them with your weaknesses. It’s like he’s telling you that you should have gone left when you went right or you wouldn’t have gotten into that accident. The same is true with your finances. He downplays your financial accomplishments by pointing out how you could have done better. You would have had more money if only you had done something else. You were lucky to get what you did because you’re not smart enough or that everyone can do that; it’s not special. He might even blame you for what others do. (If you had reminded your friend about picking up your check, he might not have forgotten.) And he expects perfection. A Backseat Driver can never be satisfied no matter how good of a driver you are. No matter how great of an effort you make, you will never please the critic. His role is to find fault and he does his job well.

The Defeated: Promotes Depression

The Defeated tells you that you are incapable of making your way in the world. He points out your powerlessness to change issues that you are facing. How could you possibly manage your financial life when everything you do is turning out bad, in a world where the rich get richer and the poor continue to suffer? You’ll never make a difference. He also likes to convince you that you are responsible for other people’s feelings. He puts you in a Catch-22 and then points out the hopelessness of your situation. He also convinces you that there is something wrong with you, which is why you haven’t achieved financial success. He doesn’t stop there because he continues to make you believe you deserve to be exactly where you currently are, and that’s all you need or are going to get. He is your reminder that you have failed, when in reality you have succeeded at some point or another, even if in a small way. He says you have no right to expect anything better than what you get because you’re unworthy; you don’t deserve to win.

The Financial Fret: Promotes Financial Anxiety

The Financial Fret always anticipates the worst and envisions images of destruction and financial ruin. He creates an image of always losing and having bad luck with your financial life. This character conjures images of lack, hardship, and “what if” hypothetical scenarios of financial failure starring you as the main character. This character uses your insecurities and anxious feelings to legitimize the negative thoughts. If you decide to make an investment that you’ve planned and are prepared to make, he will worry you about all the reasons you shouldn’t and what might go wrong. So you backtrack and second-guess your decision. Then he worries you about a new set of issues resulting from the delay of backing up or not going through with the investment. Because you don’t know what might happen in the future, you can’t discard the entire picture. In the midst of negative news on television and stories of failure all around you, this character will keep you not just confined to your home, but also hiding under the bed until everything blows over, scared to make a move.

The Superhero: Promotes Stress and Burnout

The Superhero is a relentless master. He is intolerant of the notion that you are human. That most humans aren’t perfect is just an excuse to him. He is never satisfied with anything you do or achieve. He constantly reminds you that you could have done better, saved more, invested more, or maybe less. You should have known the idea wasn’t going to work. You should always perform at a superstar level, never get tired, be sick, or feel any pain. He will analyze everything you do, every decision, every interaction, and inform you of how you could have done better. He convinces you that your worth as a person is based on the greatness of your financial achievements and how hard you work. He doesn’t care what it takes to get it done, or who loses in the process as long as it’s done. He always expects more than is humanly possible and then scolds you for missing the mark. Basically, he tells you that you will never be good enough.

Why We Have Them

Poor thoughts and self-talk are an accumulation of self-limiting messages that you have become in the habit of saying to yourself. Breaking this destructive habit is possible, though it takes some time and consistent effort. If you have been talking to yourself for a long time, it will take repetition and practice to learn more constructive and helpful ways of thinking. Your competition is your Poor Thoughts. Whenever a negative thought enters your mind, take the time to first acknowledge it, and then deal with it. To identify a particular thought, you must step outside of yourself to study your thoughts and recognize where the problem exists, where the thought originated, and understand what trigger brought it on. You must see the thought for what it is and survey the complete picture to identify the thought, define, describe, and analyze the thought to accurately evaluate it. This will allow you to classify the thought and proceed.

Are You Ready to Take Control?

Are you willing to do what it takes to experience true freedom and change your Financial Thoughts? The freedom I speak of is the freedom you can experience if you have control of your finances. Freedom to explore and not be required to work for someone else unless you choose to, going and coming as you please, and just enjoying your life. The reason you haven’t experienced this true freedom is not because you don’t want freedom, but because it is not what you are used to, or not what you’ve seen, or not what you’ve experienced. Freedom resides outside of your comfort zone. Freedom means sacrifice, hard work, and facing the unknown. This is true in your work as well as your thoughts.