CHAPTER 18

Stuck in a Meeting from Hell? Here’s What to Do

by Melissa Raffoni

We’ve all been in meetings that seem to go on forever, whether they’re being dominated by windbags or bounce aimlessly from one topic to the next. Don’t just sit there and roll your eyes. Take control by trying one of the following options.

Be brave. Play dumb.

Even if you think you know what’s going on, you may not really get it, or you may sense others don’t get it. Consider the power of the statement, “I’m sorry, I’m lost. Can somebody help me understand what problem we’re trying to solve and what needs to happen to resolve it? Joe, can you help me out?” The key to the success of this tactic isn’t your question. It’s Joe. The person you appeal to should be one of the strongest communicators in the room. It forces the group to stop and hear clarification from the most articulate person. It often helps get a group back on track. Playing dumb is pretty smart.

Be a helper. Create shared visuals. Use some technology.

Another great question to ask: “Would it be helpful if I took some notes?” Flip open your laptop, and take notes on a projected screen or in a shared document (such as a Google Docs). This is much better than using a marker and flip chart, which don’t allow for good group editing and require transcription. Taking and projecting notes serves two purposes. First, it refocuses participants on what they can see before them, which could be a list of questions, decisions to be made, individual commentary, or whatever makes sense.

Second, if you can sort it out, you can use the documentation to drive problem solving. Framing the discussion with a simple outline, such as “Problem, Objectives, Facts, Questions, Action Items, Next Steps,” will help move the team from A to B. Better yet, it will keep the team from wandering off to Y and Z.

Also, don’t neglect to wrap up the meeting without committing summaries and next steps to the document. Now, given your efforts, the group has a working document that serves as a reference for next time. It sounds simple, but it works. What’s really happening is you’re volunteering to do the facilitating that the facilitator has failed to do.

Find the root cause of the meeting’s lack of focus, and suggest a solution.

Politely observe that “we seem to be spinning our wheels here,” and ask what’s causing the endless cycles. Sometimes identifying the reason for meetings from hell allows you to refocus them or call a new one to sort through the problem more productively.

Identifying root causes of bad meetings is not always easy. Here are some common examples of barriers that may be making that meeting interminable and unproductive:

• Lack of preparation. Often, meetings get stuck because not everyone (or no one) has prepared. Whether that meeting-prep document is sent out early or 20 minutes before the meeting starts, people may not stop to read it. Other times, someone conducts the meeting off the cuff or tosses out issues for brainstorming. These approaches waste everybody’s time.
• Who has the D? Just ask the question, “Who’s responsible for this decision?” Ask that person if they’re comfortable making a decision, right now.
• The right people aren’t in the room. Save a meeting from droning on by identifying the people who are needed but absent. “We really can’t move forward on this without Jane.” Then cancel the meeting, and reschedule it with Jane.

Taking some of these steps and saying some of these things when you’re not in charge might seem professionally precocious, but they’re good leadership and management skills. And if you think you’re in the meeting from hell, it’s likely many of your colleagues do, too. They’ll appreciate your effort to get the meeting back on track.

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Melissa Raffoni is founder and CEO of The Raffoni Group.

Adapted from content posted on hbr.org on January 29, 2010.