CHAPTER 20
When Your Boss Is Terrible at Leading Meetings
by Paul Axtell
If you think your boss is ineffective at leading meetings, you’re not alone. Few managers have mastered the art of meetings, and even fewer organizations have made it a priority. Add to that the fact that leaders are busy—and often don’t have the time to adequately prepare—and you’ve got a recipe for ineffective meetings. The question is, what can you do about it?
Three broad perspectives are available to you in every meeting:
- You can offer to do things to support your boss in preparing, leading, and following up after the meeting.
- You have the right to ask for whatever you need to be effective in the meeting.
- You can choose to be responsible for the experience of other people in the meeting.
Let’s look at each of these options individually.
What might you offer to do?
I love this perspective because it allows you to be supportive without making your boss wrong. A key aspect of influence is the ability to state a problem without blaming anyone. Offering to supply elements that may be missing is a powerful way to do this. Here are some things you might offer to do:
- Collect agenda suggestions from the group, and then prepare an agenda for your boss to review and edit.
- Find team members to lead the different agenda items, or offer to lead the meeting so the boss can more fully focus on the conversation.
- Handle all of the room arrangements—and be there early to make sure it’s all set.
- Help bring the conversation back when it wanders away from the intended path.
- Notice who isn’t yet involved in the conversation, and invite them to speak.
- Take notes so that a written summary can be prepared quickly after the meeting.
- Chart complex conversations on a whiteboard as they unfold so the group can stay on track and see what has been said.
- Listen for commitments and actions that are voiced, and then review them during the closing for each topic.
- Write and distribute a summary shortly after the meeting ends.
Stepping up and offering to do something will usually be appreciated and respected. However, we all know that our ability to speak frankly with our boss is determined by the level of trust and respect that exists between us. If your boss values what you bring to the group, you can be straightforward: “Sam, I think we can improve the quality of our meetings by doing a couple of things differently. If you agree, I would be willing to do the following.”
If your boss takes offense at your offer or says, “No thanks, I’ve got it under control,” then respond with, “OK, and if you change your mind, let me know. I just want to do whatever I can to support you.” None of us are as open-minded or coachable in the moment as we think we are. There is a good chance that your boss will continue to think about your suggestion during the next few meetings. Without your offer, nothing will change; with your offer, it just might.
What do you need to be effective?
What are your most common complaints about these meetings? What could you ask for that would resolve each complaint? If you need something in order to be both present and productive in a meeting, find a diplomatic way to ask for it. Other people will probably be having the same experience and will welcome your initiative. Here are some suggestions for asking for what you need.
- An agenda: “Most of the time, I think it’s fine to find out what’s on the agenda when we walk into the meeting. On a few topics, like the budget, however, I would appreciate knowing the agenda ahead of time so I can prepare in a way that lets me add value to the conversation.”
- Proper setup for each topic: “Before we start this conversation, I’d like to know what input you’re looking for from us and where you want to be at the end of this discussion.”
- Broader participation: “I realize we’re a bit pressed for time, but there are a couple of people I’d really like to hear from in this conversation. So I’d appreciate if we could stay with this topic a bit longer so Sarah, Ganesh, and Tori can give us their views.”
- Clarity: “I might be the only person struggling with this conversation, but I need to get clear on where we are with this and what we’ve said so far.”
- To stay on track: “It appears that we’re now talking about something different than what’s on the agenda. Do we want to stay with this new topic or go back to our intended discussion?”
- Alignment: “It seems the group has settled on a direction. I’d like to ensure the decision works for everyone.”
- Next steps: “This was a great conversation, and I want to be clear about what, if anything, I need to do as a result. Could we nail down what actions will be taken next and when we should have them completed?”
How can you affect the experience of other participants?
Usually we go into a meeting thinking about one person: ourselves. Fair enough, but looking out for others is an easy way to add value and impact in an organization.
Consider these questions:
- Who is not yet participating in the conversation who might have something to say or ask?
- Who is affected by the decision and has not yet voiced their concerns or ideas?
- Who might not be able to attend and would like you to take notes or represent them in the meeting?
- Who would appreciate your collaboration on small-group work that is assigned during the meeting?
OK, now it’s up to you. This is wonderful place to trust your instincts. Sincerity trumps all conversational skills. Take your boss to coffee, and offer to help. And, try the ideas that resonate with you in other meetings that you attend. You’ll be pleased with the results.
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Paul Axtell provides consulting and personal effectiveness training to a wide variety of clients, from Fortune 500 companies to universities. His latest book, Meetings Matter: 8 Powerful Strategies for Remarkable Conversations (Jackson Creek, 2015), received awards from the Nonfiction Book Awards and the Benjamin Franklin Book Awards, a Silver award in the Nautilus Book Awards, and was first runner-up for the Eric Hoffer Prize.
Adapted from content posted on hbr.org on May 16, 2016.