How to Give Your Boss Feedback
by Amy Gallo
Have you ever wished you could tell your boss exactly what you think of her? That her obsessive mobile use during team meetings is demoralizing? That people roll their eyes about her compulsive control of the smallest details of every project?
You see your boss in a variety of settings—client and team meetings, presentations, one-on-ones, nego-tiations—which gives you insight into her strengths and weaknesses. But even if your observations could be helpful, is it your place to share them with her? Could frank feedback put your job or your relationship at risk?
Providing feedback to your boss, commonly called upward feedback, is a tricky process to master. But if you offer it correctly, your insight can not only help your boss, it can also improve your relationship with her.
What the Experts Say
John Baldoni, a leadership consultant and author of Lead Your Boss: The Subtle Art of Managing Up, says that leadership is all about perception; if leaders don’t know how others experience them, their performance suffers. And the higher up in an organization a leader sits, the harder it is to get honest feedback. Your input can help your boss see himself as others see him and help him to make critical adjustments in his behavior and approach.
Of course, giving your boss feedback requires careful thought; here are some principles to keep in mind.
The Relationship Comes First
The ability to give and receive upward feedback depends on the level of trust between you and your boss. If you know that she’s unreceptive to feedback, is likely to react negatively, or if you have a rocky relationship, don’t say anything. But “if your boss is open-minded and you have a good relationship,” Baldoni says, “you owe her the straight talk.” As with any feedback, your intentions must be good, and your desire to help your boss should supersede any issues you may have with her.
Wait to Be Invited
Even if you have a great relationship, don’t launch into unsolicited feedback. Some bosses will request feedback at the end of your formal review, asking, “Is there anything else I can do to support you?” Or, when you first start working together, he may share his development areas and ask you to keep an eye out for certain behaviors that he’s working on. “In a perfect world, it is a manager’s responsibility to make it safe to give feedback,” says Baldoni.
Of course, this is not how things usually happen. If your boss doesn’t directly request feedback, ask if she would like it. This might be easiest in the context of a new project or client. You can ask something such as “Would it be useful if I occasionally check in with you about how I think the project is going?” Setting it up in advance can smooth the process, but you can also give feedback in the moment. Try asking something along the lines of “Can I tell you about something I noticed in that meeting?” Emphasize that you’re trying to help her so that the client, project, or company will benefit.
Share Your Perspective
Focus your feedback on what you’re actually seeing or hearing, not what you would do as the boss. Baldoni recommends saying things such as “I noticed that you were silent when Joe disagreed with your proposal. It can be intimidating when you don’t respond to criticism.” By sharing your perspective, you can help your boss see how others see him. This can be invaluable to a leader who may be disconnected from people in the lower ranks.
Focusing on your perceptions also means realizing the limitations of your standpoint—you’re seeing only a partial picture of your boss’s performance and all the demands he’s juggling. James Detert, author of the Harvard Business Review articles “Why Employees Are Afraid to Speak” and “Speaking Up to Higher-Ups,” says, “Subordinates by and large don’t have a full appreciation of [their bosses’] reality.”
Good feedback rules still apply. Your feedback should be honest, specific, and data-driven. Open with something positive and then offer constructive comments along with suggestions for improvement. Avoid accusations.
If Your Boss Bites Back
No matter how thoughtfully you’ve prepared and delivered your feedback, your boss may get upset or defensive. Sometimes reframing it in terms of what your boss cares most about can help, says Detert. “Point out how specific behaviors [may be] inhibiting your boss from achieving her goals.”
Gauge her reaction to determine how she prefers to receive feedback and what topics are out of bounds. Perhaps she doesn’t want to receive pointers on her communication style or a certain high-pressure initiative. Rather than clamming up after a negative reaction, take the opportunity to ask her about what would be useful going forward.
When in Doubt, Hold Your Tongue
If you’re not sure your boss wants feedback or if the subject in question is sensitive, it’s better not to speak up. Don’t risk your working relationship or your job. Instead, look for opportunities to comment anonymously, such as a 360-degree feedback process. If you feel your boss’s behavior is putting the company or your unit in jeopardy, follow the appropriate channels in your company—starting with Human Resources or your employee resource manual or wiki.
Amy Gallo is a contributing editor at Harvard Business Review. Follow her on Twitter at @amyegallo.
Adapted from content posted on hbr.org on March 24, 2010