IT’S A WRAP!
You’ve just finished reading this book, and you’re probably thinking to yourself, “When is the right time to start changing the way I communicate professionally?” The answer is today! The No Explanation Required lifestyle is achievable, but I want to make sure I leave you with my last tip—never wait for an invitation to communicate and express yourself. I have shared many experiences with you, but the most common experience I have witnessed is brilliant women who sit and wait for an invitation to speak and advocate for themselves—but the invitation never arrives.
Too often, women:
• Wait until the time is right
• Wait for someone to invite them to negotiate
• Wait for the right time to ask for time off
• Wait for the right time to advocate for ourselves
• Wait for someone to call on them in a meeting
• Wait for someone to invest in their brilliant ideas
• Wait to be asked to come and sit at the table
• Wait for an invitation that will never come
• Wait for someone to give them an invitation to speak up
• Wait to get another advanced degree or certificate to request a promotion
• Wait until they match all the qualifications in a job description
Now, you have the tools, and the skills, but no one will know how brilliant you are if you are always silent. Besides, silence is the wrong approach to accelerate your leadership journey. Leaders need to be seen and heard, but more importantly, you need to take initiative if you intend to get a chair in the C-suite. Any seat worth sitting in will require you to speak up and claim it. It will not be empty and awaiting your arrival.
Finding my voice and liberating myself from all of the childhood messages and discipline helped me become someone who feels powerful when I advocate for myself and others. I feel most powerful because I am no longer waiting for anyone to give me permission to speak, or to stand up on my behalf. I have found the strength to speak with a level of intention and authority without compromising my humor, thoughtfulness, or compassion. I have nonnegotiable boundaries, and remaining silent is not one of them.
I’ve gone from a prim and proper young girl, conditioned to be seen and not heard, to standing at the front of high-powered rooms in meetings and speaking up—the feeling is extremely rewarding, and still a bit intimidating. I was conditioned to seek validation and to be liked by others. On one hand, within my culture, I agree with a few of those principles in my personal life, but professionally, I realized I would never get to the C-suite without communication. As I’m writing this, women represent less than 10 percent of the C-suite. Although our fight is admirable, we need more women to collectively advocate and start normalizing the presence of women in the C-suite consistently.
Once I learned that communication was the only barrier between middle management and the C-suite, I directed more of my attention to holding myself accountable and communicating with authority. I have studied some of the best communicators, mostly men, and it was clear that they never explain themselves. Then, I remembered my middle school teacher and her lesson on prepositional phrases. It was as if someone screwed on the light bulb—no more explanations required after the preposition.
Keep in mind that No Explanation Required is a lifestyle, not just a phrase, because once you begin speaking up and communicating with clarity, it will change your life. Decision makers will look to you for guidance and leadership. You will attract leadership-level opportunities. Most importantly, you will begin to build your confidence. I’m learning that all of our conditioned behavior will take time to change, so be patient with yourself. It takes daily repetition and practice. Once you keep your ambitions in mind and consistently remind yourself to tap into your alter ego once in a while, you will find yourself simplifying your explanations and responses. You’ll become less reactive and less apologetic. You will communicate with clarity, effectiveness, directness, and compassion—because it can all be done.
Where Do We Go from Here?
As you go forward, remember these key points:
• Remember your prepositional phrases. Keep your explanations brief and germane to the context of the conversation or questions.
• Avoid pink perceptions. We discussed how specific industries have been shaped by women; however, breaking the glass ceiling requires more than pink perceptions and stereotypes. It is important to explore industries that are underrepresented by women. Shattering glass is about changing perceptions, not overcrowding the same professions. Think beyond the pink rooms.
• Hold on to your pom-poms and start cheering for yourself. It’s time to promote yourself and show off your achievements daily. Use your last opportunity to attract your next opportunity, and stop depending heavily on a résumé to get into the C-suite. Network your way up the ladder, while bragging.
• Tap into your Sasha Fierce. It’s time to channel your inner alter ego and create the confident persona that will help you activate your newfound level of confidence.
• Respond, don’t react. It takes discipline to avoid reacting to a negative comment or criticism regarding work performance. However, a reaction could have long-term consequences. Take a moment to think about your response carefully.
To help you continue to grow your communication style, I am leaving you with communication starter scripts for a few common issues that arise in business and in the workplace. This will help you avoid the need to overcommunicate and overpersonalize, while remaining germane and focused.
SAMPLE SCRIPT
Salary Negotiation with a New Company
I would like to thank you for extending the (name the position) role, and while I am excited about the opportunity to work with a company that will productively utilize my skills and education, I believe the compensation package is not comparable to my competency level.
After careful research about the duties of the role as outlined, comparing salary data from (name your sources), and speaking with others with the same experience, education, and mastery, I have found that your initial offer is less than comparable for this position. Based on my research and findings, I believe (name your number) is a great place to commence my professional tenure with your company, and I welcome in-person evaluations every six months, which will also be followed by performance increase compensation.
Just to highlight, the unique skills that I bring to your company are:
• Over 10 years of experience managing a sales team of over 100 agents, who were successful at meeting deadlines and quotas.
• I have increased the revenue of my former company by over 37 percent each year, by building a solid network of ready customers, who are committed to following me in this new role.
• I have brought in over 42 million dollars in new business opportunities for my company over the past 10 years.
• During my role as a team leader and manager, I had less than 10 percent turnover under my management.
• I have a degree from (name of school) and continue to engage in continuing education units to advance my leadership skills that will increase my value and productivity within the company.
• Since our initial conversation, I already have a few ideas I can share about how to increase revenue within the first six months.
• I am also looking for a company where I can grow and explore other challenging opportunities while putting my experience to the test, which is one reason I applied for this role.
As such, I am aware of your budget/commitment for this position, but as I have highlighted, my background, education, and experience are closer to the market rate for the position, not an entry-level offer.
My counteroffer is ____________
I look forward to your reply and the potential of adding value to the company
Avoid Generic Statements During a Negotiation Conversation
Don’t use the following statements:
• I am a trustworthy person
• I show up on time every day
• I am a fast learner
• I am a team player
• Money is not important to me
• I really need this job
• I know I can do the job
• I will take the low offer for now, but will you reconsider it later?
• Why is the offer so low?
• Is that your final offer?
• I would make a great employee
• Did you call my references?
• I can’t work for that amount of money.
• I am a dependable person.
• Please?
• I thought the position paid more money?
• That’s less than I thought.
• Is that the best you can do?
• Is it because I’m a woman?
• Is it because I’m “Black,” “Latina,” “LGBTQ,” or my religion?
• How did you come to that decision?
• If you give me a chance, I’ll prove that I’m worth more.
• Let me think about it.
• Let me talk it over with a few friends and get back to you.
• That was not the salary advertised.
• I will probably get a better offer someplace else.
• Is that all?
• I’m worth more than that.
These are all phrases that I refer to as the generic plague of asking for what you deserve. They are often emotional and are more in line with begging and pleading, rather than stating substantiating facts to corroborate your compensation package. Remember, negotiating is about presenting facts, very similar to adjudicating a case in court. Presenting your unique value proposition in a very clear and concise format that highlights at least one financial gain for the new company will make the difference between taking the offer off of the table or getting the amended compensation that you deserve.
Avoid emotional statements in verbiage about who you are as a person. Remember the person on the other side does not know you personally, and a résumé or CV is a fictitious document that needs to be sold. Highlight all of your strengths, and always consider the replacement cost of losing your professionalism and contributions as a candidate.
In the mock scenario above, the main point that sticks out the most when encountering the offer is the $42 million in sales over 10 years. Numbers speak volumes to decision makers.
SAMPLE SCRIPT
Salary Negotiation for a Raise Within Your Current Position
I would like to discuss the findings of my most recent performance evaluation conducted last month. As noted during our conversation, we discussed how beneficial my work has been and the importance of my contributions within my current role. However, after much consideration, research, and thought, I believe that my contribution and tenure with this company needs to be reevaluated to consider a fair compensation agreement based on my current skills.
Since my arrival to the legal department, I have:
• Reduced overhead and increased productivity by 38 percent over the past five years
• Assisted in evaluating, hiring, and training new staff to operate my department more efficiently, while adhering to strategic policies
• Developed the outreach arm of our department to follow up with clients regularly
• Suggested new software and CRM to manage client files
• Worked in a support capacity to assist the partners with the merger with X-Corporation
• Improved the overall performance of the legal department by focusing on intake management and increased revenue
• Implemented a strong profit-sharing system for client referrals, which has increased business by over 40 percent
I have managed to become a trusted advisor and manager for my team and staff during my tenure with the firm. Although we have discussed a cost of living increase to my compensation agreement, I believe that my role has created significant positive changes for the firm, which can be easily measured.
Based on my research, other professionals in the area with my level of experience, education, and corporate growth are earning an average of 35 percent more at this time. At this moment, we are still working off of the initial onboarding terms, which should be reconsidered with the above-mentioned factors in mind.
I am requesting a 30 percent increase and consideration of remote work Fridays. This request is open for consideration for the next 15 days for your review, counteroffer, and/or feedback.
I look forward to your thoughts.
Similar to the previous list of “don’ts,” keep your request strictly to the facts. Avoid generic statements such as:
• I have been here for so many years.
• I’m a loyal employee.
• I just love what I do.
• I have been here longer than ____________, and s/he makes more money than I do.
Presenting facts is the best way to ensure the value of your proposal is met.
I want to highlight the importance of creating a timeline for responding as mentioned at the closing of the script. Open-ended requests for money are never a good idea, especially for women. Decision makers will have an elapsed time frame to find a way to create budget concerns or to use a personal circumstance against you to support their decision to decline your request. Hold them accountable for responding promptly, regardless of whether the decision is in your favor.
Quick tip—I advise that you also factor in the replacement value of your current role. In other words, when you are speaking with your HR department regarding a salary increase, it is worth mentioning the potential loss of revenue and productivity due to the loss of qualified talent.
SAMPLE SCRIPT
Requesting Fair Consideration of Company Policies
Yesterday, I was approached by ____________, who gave me an informal verbal warning about the company policy on checking my phone throughout the day.
I have been a committed member of this team for four years, and am well aware of the policy. I advised ____________ that I needed to tend to a personal emergency, which will remain private. However, to avoid further misinterpretation of any professional misconduct or pressure, the company should forward an internal memo to all team members and reference the notation of the policy in the company manual to ensure equal access to the rule and consequences.
Thank you for your consideration,
SAMPLE SCRIPT
Request for Personal Time
Good Day,
I would like to submit my request to use my personal days on January 21st through January 24th.
As stated in the operations manual and revised company policy, personal days requested 45 days in advance are automatically accepted and all support staff are notified by Human Resources.
Thank you for your time,
Avoid adding unnecessary personal details, such as:
• I have to travel to Arizona for my sister’s wedding.
• I have three doctor’s appointments.
• I am having new cabinet installed in my kitchen.
• My daughter has a dance recital in Texas.
As long as you reference the company policy and remain within the guidelines of requesting your time, that is all that’s needed.
SAMPLE SCRIPT
Request for a Management Role
I learned of a team lead opportunity in the operations department, which will be open in March, and I would like to be considered before HR posts an open call for candidates within the company.
I have worked with John Smith, who is the current operations supervisor, and I have attached his letter of support for consideration. My mentor, Jan Robins, who is also the chief financial officer, recommended me for the position, and she will become my director within the role. I will be an asset to the operations department, as I have five years of support experience and three years of training from XX University, with a concentration in management.
I would like to schedule a brief introductory call or meeting to discuss my qualifications.
Thank you in advance for your time.
SAMPLE SCRIPT
Request for a Mentorship
Good Day ____________
I have learned so much from you over the years, and I continue to admire your work as I have watched you grow from accounting to chief marketing officer at XYZ Corporation.
I have reached a point in my career where I believe effective mentorship will help me develop my skills and prepare to transition into a leadership role within the next five years.
I am requesting a mentoring relationship where we can meet once per month. I am flexible with time considering your schedule. I would propose an agenda and forward the same two weeks in advance, so I can create an action list and report my progress.
I look forward to working with you and learning from your vast experience.
Thank you.
SAMPLE SCRIPT
Request for Workplace Boundaries
I would like to opt out of the on-call requests on Saturdays. I will not be able to participate due to personal obligations. If there is an emergency, please refer to the policy manual for contact information.
Thank you for honoring my personal request.
Avoid explaining the nature of your personal request and reason for opting out of a voluntary assignment.
Common Phrases to Avoid in Scripts
In all work-related discussions, avoid phrases like the following:
• Because of my children
• Due to my religious beliefs
• Because it takes an hour to get home
• I’ve never asked for any favors, but . . .
• I love my job
• I need this job
• I need the money
• I need to make more money