INDEX
Abilities, mindset toward, 43–44
Abilities Opportunity Map, 93–104
assess current skills (Step 1), 94–95
determine skill acquisition options (Step 5), 104
identify specific skills/expertise to develop (Step 2), 95–100
identify type of skill set to develop (Step 3), 101–102
prioritize which skills to develop (Step 4), 103–104
template for, 199–200
Acceleration Guide, 187–198
Action learning for hybrid skill development, 111
Active listening, 105
Activities you loathe doing, 83–85
Additional responsibilities, taking on, 160
Affirmations, 49
Aligning your strengths, 15, 65–87 (See also Strengths)
and activities you loathe doing, 83–85
by asking for what you want, 86–87
by excavating your strengths, 71–79
by leveraging strengths for choice and control, 80–87
by not letting fear undermine your power, 85
to organization’s goals, 80–82
and strengths as professional gold, 68–71
Anger, 11–12
Anxiety, feedback, 43–47
Appreciation (see Recognition and appreciation)
Argyris, Chris, 138
Asking:
for feedback, 44–45
for what you missed, 143
for what you want, 86–87
Assess current skills (Step 1 of Abilities Opportunity Map), 94–95
Assessing your job, 21–24
Assume honorable intentions, 143
Assumptions:
about others’ honorable intent, 143
habitual, 26
negative, about colleagues’ behavior, 138–145
Authentic relationships, cultivating (see Cultivating authentic relationships)
Autonomy (SCARF model):
defined, 131
mitigating threats to, 132–134, 136
and roadblocks to meaningful work, 170–171
Behavior(s):
connecting past, on Ladder of Inference, 140–141
of coworkers, stopping negative assumptions about, 138–145
motivation as driver of, 14
social, 5
unconscious, 28–29
Best Efforts report card, 52–53
Bias:
negativity, 47–54
Big-picture and integrative colleagues, 124
Body suffering:
from anger, 11–12
when disengaged, xiv
Brain:
and certainty, 130–131
neurological networks in, 26
overriding negativity bias of, 47–54
social pain processed by, 130
training of, 43
Breaking negative cycles, 51
Calling, work as, 154–157
Career:
GROW Your Career plan for, 201–208
work as, 154–157
Career + Life Walk, 202–204
Certainty (SCARF model), 130–131, 135–136
Change:
being the catalyst for, 8
in dynamic of employee-employee relationship, 14–17
examining result of not changing, 7–8, 22–23
hoping for, 6–7
and locus of control, 29
of mental models, 25–26
and work environment, 13
your power to, 11
Choice:
implementation steps for, 189, 193
leveraging your strengths for, 80–87
path of, 8–10
as superpower, 28–35
Chopra, Deepak, 19
Claiming your fears, 20–24
Clarity:
on experience and capabilities, 202–204
using fear for, 20
Coaching, 105–106
Cognitive changes, 159, 167–169, 198
Cognitive Dominance (McLaughlin), 20
Cohen, Leonard, 30
Columbia Business School, 61
Commitment to your company, 6
Communication, tailoring:
to colleague work style, 125–127
for follow-up after unresponsiveness, 174–180
to preferences of coworkers, 126–128
rehearsing conversations for, 58–59, 62
Company goals, aligning strengths with, 80–82
Confirmation bias, 138, 143–144
Conflict resolution, 105
Connecting with others, xvi
Control:
implementation steps for, 189, 193
internal locus of, 29
leveraging your strengths for, 80–87
as superpower, 28–35
Courage, 24
Coworkers:
identifying work styles of, 121–126
relationships with (see Relationships)
stopping negative assumptions about behavior of, 138–145
tailoring communication to preferences of, 126–128
Credit, need for (see Recognition and appreciation)
Csikszentmihalyi, Mihaly, 70
Cultivating authentic relationships, 15, 117–146
identifying work styles for, 121–126
implementation steps to, 196
importance of, 117–119
Ladder of Inference as barrier to, 138–145
with Platinum Rule, 119–121
and SCARF model, 130–137
tailoring communication to, 125–128
unconscious undermining of relationships as barrier to, 118, 128–130
Cummings, L. L., 41
Data-oriented colleagues:
identifying, 124
prevalence of, 122
tailoring communication for, 126
Designing your job to find your meaning, 15, 151–180
and follow-up conversations after unresponsiveness, 174–180
implementation steps to, 197–198
roadblocks to, 170–173
via cognitive changes, 159, 167–169
via relational changes, 159, 161–167
via task changes, 158–160
and work as job, career, or calling, 154–157
Detail-oriented colleagues, 124, 126
Determine skill acquisition options (Step 5 of Abilities Opportunity Map), 104
Develop new skills and knowledge (see Skills and knowledge development)
Discontentment, 5
Discrimination, 209–217
addressing, 212
forms of, 210–211
legal definition of, 209–210
Disengagement, 5
Disengagement epidemic, xiii–xiv
body suffering in, xiv
current approaches to addressing/solving, xvi–xvii
finding solution to, 14–17
research on, xiv–xv
Dispenza, Joe, 26–28
Dream job, your, xvi–xvii (See also Own, love, and make your job work for you)
essential steps toward, x, 15–16 (See also individual steps)
loving, 89
need for social connections in, 118
owning, 37
turning any job into, 9
Dunham, R. B., 41
Dweck, Carol, 43
EAP (Employee Assistance Program), 213
EEOC (Equal Employment Opportunity Commission), 213–215
Emotionally oriented colleagues, 124, 126
Emotions (See also specific emotions)
discharging and neutralizing, 11
as language of the body, 26
recognizing reactions to, 129–130
roller-coaster of, 41
Employee Assistance Program (EAP), 213
Employer-employee social contract, 5–8, 14
Employment attorney, 215
Engagement:
and social contract, 5
strategies for, 14–17
with your boss, 10
Entrepreneurship, 2n
Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC), 213–215
Equip, empower, inspire model of professional development, 112–114
Escape options, 1–17
facing your fears, 19–24
and mind’s “work sucks” refrain, 24–28
own, love, and make your job work for you, 14–17
path of possibility and choice, 8–10
social contract with employer, 5–8
staying in the game, 11–13
using choice and control superpowers, 28–35
Excavating your strengths, 71–79
Experiences:
expectations for, 25–28
and Ladder of Inference, 140–141
and mindset, 44
positive, reinforcing, 48–49
self-esteem affected by, 41
Experiential assignments and opportunities, 110–111
Expertise, 201–208 (See also Skills)
External coaches, 106
External locus of control, 29
Facing your fears, 19–24
Facts, communicating, 176–178
Failing, learning vs., 44
Fairness (SCARF model), 132, 137
Fear(s):
as catalyst for action, 20, 35
impact of, 19–20
implementation steps to address, 189
in Ladder of Inference, 139–140
naming and claiming, 20–24
not letting power be undermined by, 85
overcoming, 34
Feedback:
anxiety about, 43–47
cultivating positive self-esteem through, 41–47
and growth mindset, 43–44
implementation steps for, 190
to mitigate SCARF status threat, 135
from performance reviews/360 feedback reports, 72, 74–76, 192
proactively asking for, 44–45
SEE framework for, 45–46
through mentorship, 106–107
in training courses, 107
training your brain to understand, 44
Feeding the positive strategy, 52
Filtering information in Ladder of Inference, 139
Financial compensation (see Requesting a raise)
Fixed mindset, 43
Flow (Csikszentmihalyi), 70
Follow-up conversations, after unresponsiveness, 174–180
Game of Thrones, 128
Gardner, D. G., 41
Get clear (Step 1 to GROW Your Career), 202–204
Glassdoor, 61
Go Put Your Strengths to Work (Buckingham), 69
Good news, rehearsing and sharing, 50
Gooding, Cuba, Jr., 59
Gratitude, need for (see Recognition and appreciation)
Gremlins (movie), 20n
GROW Your Career, 201–208
get clear (Step 1), 202–204
own your impact (Step 3), 206
recognize your results (Step 2), 204–205
where and what else? (Step 4), 207–208
Growth, as sign of strength, 70
Growth mindset, 43–44
Habit, 27
Happiness of retirees, 4
Health, postretirement work and, 4
Herring, Emma, 65–67, 71, 73–76, 80, 86–87
Homans, George, 5
Honorable intent, assuming, 143
Hoping for change, 6–7
Hostile workplace environment, 211
Human resource departments, discrimination and, 212–213
Idea-oriented colleagues:
identifying, 125–126
prevalence of, 122
tailoring communication for, 127
Identify skills/expertise to develop (Step 2 of Abilities Opportunity Map), 95–100
Identify type of skill set to develop (Step 3 of Abilities Opportunity Map), 101–102
Impact, owning your, 206
Impactful work, xii–xiii
Implementation steps, 187–198
Informational interviews, 109–110
Inquiry, Ladder of Inference avoided with, 142
Intent, assuming honorable, 143
Intention statement, 24
Internal coaches, 105–106
Internal locus of control, 29
International Coach Federation, 106
Interviews, informational, 109–110
Jerry Maguire, 59
Job(s) (See also Work)
assessing your, 21–24
postretirement, 4
satisfaction of, commitment impacting, 6
work as, 154–157
Job shadowing, 108–109
Joy, 4, 41 (See also Happiness of retirees)
Knowledge, developing (see Skills and knowledge development)
Ladder of Inference, 138–145
Lao-tzu, 103
Learning, failing vs., 44
Legal action against discrimination, 214–216
Leveraging your strengths, 80–87, 171–172, 193
LinkedIn, 166
Listening:
active, coaching for, 105
Ladder of Inference avoided with, 144–145
Loathed activities, 83–85
Locus of control, 29
Acceleration Guide for, 194–196
cultivate authentic relationships, 117–146
develop new skills and knowledge, 91–115
as rekindling passion and joy in your workplace, x
Make it work (Step three), 147, 184–185
Acceleration Guide for, 197–198
and designing your job to find your meaning, 151–180
as making your job work for you, x
Manager’s perspective, inviting your, 178–180
Market value, determining your, 61
McLaughlin, Mark, 20
Meaning:
designing work for more (see Designing your job to find your meaning)
motivation driving search for, 14
statement of, 168
Mental models, 25–28
Mentoring, 106–107
Mind, the:
fears in, 19–24
power of, 20
“work sucks” refrain in, 24–28
Misery, escaping your (see Escape options)
Mistreatment in workplace, 10 (see also Discrimination)
Money, 59–63
Motivation:
impact of your commitment on, 6
intention as, 24
themes in, 14
Naming your fears, 20–24
Nature of tasks, modifying, 159
Need(s):
for recognition and appreciation (see Recognition and appreciation)
as sign of strength, 70–71
for social connections, 118–119
Negativity:
in assumptions about colleagues’ behavior, 138–145
challenging your, 26
implementation steps to prevent, 191, 196
and Ladder of Inference, 140
noticing and identifying, 53
Negativity bias, 47–54
Networks (See also Relationships)
and designing a job with more meaning, 172
neurological, 26
using your, for hybrid skill development, 110
NeuroLeadership Institute, 130
Neurological networks, 26
Options to escaping (see Escape options)
Organizational mission, xv–xvi
Organizational self-esteem, 41
Organization’s goals, aligning your strengths to the, 80–82
Own, love, and make your job work for you:
Acceleration Guide for, 187–198
essentials of, 14–17
steps to, x (See also individual steps)
Own it (Step one):
Acceleration Guide for, 190–193
as acknowledging who you are and what you need, x
and admitting recognition and appreciation needs, 39–63
and aligning your strengths, 65–87
success in, 183
Ownership:
of recognition and appreciation, 54–59, 191
staying in the game by taking, 11–13
of your fears, 20–24
of your impact (Step 3 of GROW Your Career), 206
of your power, 4
Participants, workshop attendees as, 154
Partnerships, 83–84
Past behaviors, Ladder of Inference and, 140–141
Path of possibility and choice, 8–10
PayScale, 61
Perceptions, comparing, 143–144
Performance reviews, 72–76, 192
Pierce, J. L., 41
Platinum Rule:
implementation steps for, 196
to love it, 184
for mutual respect and understanding, 119–121
Positive experiences, reinforcing, 48–49
Possibility, path of, 8–10
Postretirement work, 4
Power:
of choice and possibility, 8–10
embracing your, 24
employer-employee relationship, 8
not letting fear undermine, 85
owning your, 4
of your mind, 20
Praise, recognizing need for, 54–56 (See also Recognition and appreciation)
Prioritize top three skills to develop (Step 4 of Abilities Opportunity Map), 103–104
Prisoners, workshop attendees as, 154
Problem solving, focusing on, 53–54
Productivity Style Assessment, 122n
Professional development plan, creating a, 112–114
Protected classes, 210
Purpose, sense of, 16 (See also Meaning)
Quitting your job, 11–13
Raise, requesting a, 60–63, 191
Recognition and appreciation, 15, 39–63
cultivating self-esteem to admit, through feedback, 41–47
implementation steps to take ownership of, 191
overriding brain’s negativity bias for, 47–54
requesting a raise from, 59–63
taking ownership of need for, 54–59
Recognize your results (Step 2 of GROW Your Career), 204–205
Reducing loathed activities, 83
Reflection journaling, 72, 142, 192
Reframing loathed activities, 84
Rehearsing conversations:
for raise requests, 62
for recognition needs, 58–59
Relatedness (SCARF model), 131, 136–137
Relational changes, 159, 161–167, 198
cultivating authentic (see Cultivating authentic relationships)
with employer, 6–8 (See also Social contract with employer)
employer-employee, changing, 14–17
examining the value of, 6
hoping for change in, 6–7
for hybrid skill development, 110
importance of, 184
modifying, to design a job with meaning, 161–167
need for positive, 118–119
and relatedness, 137
and social exchange theory, 5–6
unconscious undermining of, 118, 128–132
weighing costs, benefits, and risks of, 5–6
work styles affecting, 121–126
Report card strategy, 52–53
Requesting a raise, 60–63, 191
Results, recognizing your, 204–205
Retirees, happiness of, 4
Rock, David, 130
Rotter, Julian, 29
Salary.com, 61
SCARF model, 130–137
Schemas, 25–28
Scope of tasks, modifying, 159
Self-affirmations, 49
Self-awareness, 31–32
Self-esteem:
cultivated through feedback, 41–47
focusing on your, 40
implementation steps to cultivate, 190
organizational, 41
stories that maintain, 33–34
Sexual harassment, 210 (See also Discrimination)
Significance, 16 (See also Meaning)
SIGNs of a strength, 69
Skill set, defined, 95
Skills:
assessing current, 94–95
development of (see Skills and knowledge development)
identifying specific, for development, 95–100
prioritizing, for development, 103–104
types of, 95
Skills and knowledge development, 15, 91–115
Abilities Opportunity Map for, 93–104
acquisition options for, 105–111
GROW Your Career plan for, 201–208
implementation steps for, 194–195
professional development plan for, 112–114
Social contract with employer, 5–8, 14, 60
Social exchange theory, 5–6
Social interactions:
avoiding pain in, 130
need for, 118–119
Platinum Rule for, 119–120
and relatedness, 131–132
Social pain, 130
Social threat response, 44 (See also SCARF model)
Society for Human Resource Management, 61
Status (SCARF model), 130, 135
Staying in the game, 11–13
Stories, 33–34
Strayed, Cheryl, 181
Strengths (See also Aligning your strengths)
excavating your, 71–79
implementation steps to use, 192–193
leveraging your, 80–87, 171–172
as professional gold, 68–71, 183
using, to design job with meaning, 160
Students, workshop attendees as, 154–155
Success, 69
Superpowers:
embracing your, 28–35
implementation steps to embrace, 189
unlocking your (see Unlocking your superpowers)
Support, Ladder of Inference avoided with, 142
Talents, 43–44, 201–208 (See also Skills)
Tame Your Inbox trainings, 108
Task changes, 158–160, 197–198
Task forces, hybrid skill development through, 111
360 feedback reports, 72, 74–76, 192
Training courses, 107–108 (See also Skills and knowledge development)
Triggers, mitigating, 132–137
Trust, 173
Two roses and a thorn framework, 50–51
Unconscious behaviors:
implementation steps to address, 196
importance of addressing, 28–29
undermining relationships via, 128–132 (See also SCARF model)
Understanding, Platinum Rule to foster, 119–121
Unlocking your superpowers, 31–35
by overcoming fears, 34
recognizing your control for, 32–33
self-awareness for, 31–32
stories for, 33–34
Unresponsiveness, follow-up conversations after, 174–180
Valued, feeling (see Recognition and appreciation)
Where and what else? (Step 4 of GROW Your Career), 207–208
Winfrey, Oprah, 24
Work (See also Job(s))
designed for more meaning, 157–169
impactful, xii–xiii
as jobs, careers, or callings, 154–157
postretirement, 4
Work styles, identifying, 121–126
“Work sucks” refrain, 24–28
Working Simply, 106n*, 108n*, 112
Workplace Discrimination Resource Guide, 209–217
Workplace mistreatment, 10 (See also Discrimination)