Appendix
Exercise Answers
CHAPTER 2
Test Yourself: Who Is the Audience?
1. Audience: Electronics engineers at radar-equipped airfields. These readers are assumed to have highly technical knowledge of the topic.
2. Audience: Airport manager. This reader has a general but not highly technical understanding of the topic.
3. Audience: Chamber of Commerce members. This audience is assumed to have the least knowledge of the topic. This version is most easily understood and appeals to the general reader.
Test Yourself: Selecting the Purpose and Sequence
Read the following paragraphs. Select the paragraph that states the purpose. Put a “1” next to it. Then use the numbers 2, 3, 4, and 5 to indicate the appropriate sequence for the remaining paragraphs.
1. We are happy to announce that our new headquarters are ready for occupancy. We have scheduled the move for September 25. Before then, however, we would like each of you to visit the new offices.
2. The address of the building is 700 Market Street, which is between Maple Avenue and Grant Street. The building is a large, 10-story brick building set back from the street.
3. We will occupy the entire eighth and ninth floors. To reach the reception area, take the lobby elevator and go to the eighth floor. When you get there, someone will show you to your office. Most of the sales offices will be on the eighth floor, while other offices, including research and development, as well as finance and administration, will be on the ninth floor.
4. Most of the offices will have the new desks, chairs, and bookcases that you selected. Some offices will include additional chairs and tables.
5. Please check your office and make sure everything you ordered is there. We look forward to hearing from you and hope you will let us know of anything you need.
Question: What ordering system would you use to organize these paragraphs?
Answer: Order of location (spatial or geographic order)
CHAPTER 3
Test Yourself: Organizing Paragraphs
A. Putting the Main Idea Up Front and Cutting Ideas that Don’t Belong
Read over the seven sentences that follow. Then decide how you would make a unified, well-planned paragraph out of them.
The entire lab procedure went as planned. The only problem was minor, and it occurred when we removed one of the samples from its shipping container. As we took the bag from the shipping container, the bag broke open. The sample shattered when it fell onto the table. Fortunately, we had an extra sample from that same location.
Expressed in a single paragraph, the material that follows looks massive and uninviting. How would you break it up into five paragraphs? Indicate where you would make paragraph breaks by inserting paragraph symbols ( ¶ ).
The term “white paper” originated in the early 20th century in England. This type of writing was used to differentiate short government position papers from longer, more detailed reports. The shorter position papers were bound in white covers, while the longer reports were bound in blue covers. Today’s white papers are rarely bound and have evolved into more versatile documents.
So what exactly is a white paper in today’s business world? Although there is not an exhaustive definition covering the wide range of papers called white papers, the most comprehensive definition is “a communication tool used to explain something complex to an audience with little to no background on the topic.” Research shows that people use white papers as means of first learning about a given topic or product.
A common thread among white papers is the use of a problem and solution. Rather than beginning by just naming the merits of a product or service like a marketing brochure, the white paper usually highlights a problem that is common with the target audience. After clearly outlining a problem, a good white paper shows how the reader can use the product or service to solve the problem.
White papers work well as a marketing tool for many reasons. Besides being very industry-specific and consumer-focused, white papers make great justifications for customers wanting to purchase the service or product. There is no better way for employees to explain the need for a product or service to their bosses than presenting a well-written document by an industry expert clearly outlining the problems and the benefits. It grabs attention initially and has a strong pull all the way to the point of sale.
The single industry where white papers proliferate is information technology. The industry changes so fast that IT professionals are constantly facing new problems and solutions. White papers play a vital role in this industry by helping both marketers and customers. Most IT websites have hundreds of white papers available for download, and the best part is that they are almost always free.
Test Yourself: Writing Topic Sentences
Add a topic sentence to the beginning of each of the following paragraphs. The following are some examples:
1. Writers should consider three characteristics of their readers when planning a document.
2. We selected Barbara, John, and Cheryl for the ABC Project.
Test Yourself: Overloaded Sentences
Rewrite the following sentence to make it clearer. The following is an example revision:
The National Transportation Safety Board today announced that it has completed an investigation of the midair collision of a commercial plane and a twin-engine private plane, which resulted in the deaths of 34 people. The investigation showed that, immediately before impact, the private plane had made a 360-degree roll. The report stated that both planes had been in an air corridor that was restricted to oncoming commercial flights. The board concluded that, in all probability, the accident was the result of pilot error.
Test Yourself: Sound Sentences
A. Classifying Sentences
Some of the following sentences are complete. Others are run-on sentences, while others are sentence fragments. In front of the number for each sentence, put the symbol that applies:
R for run-on sentence F for sentence fragment
1. F
2. R
3. C
4. C
5. F
6. C
7. C
8. F
9. C
10. F
B. Complete the Sentence
Make complete sentences out of these fragments:
1. Sir Alexander Fleming is an immunologist, whose reputation as the discoverer of penicillin almost rivals that of Jonas Salk, who invented the polio vaccine.
2. Sue cooked dinner while Rudy cleaned the house.
3. Although the case had been closed for 17 years, the investigators found new evidence.
4. Sam is a good friend whose advice I have valued over the years.
5. The auto mechanic assured us the repairs would be minor. He then proceeded to list a dozen things wrong with the car.
6. The employees, finding that they could no longer work under such stressful conditions and with so few benefits, quit their jobs.
7. Police chiefs want to hire more officers, but not without additional funds.
C. Using Punctuation in Sentences
Insert or substitute proper punctuation to remedy these run-on sentences:
1. On the one hand, he is a careful worker; on the other hand, he takes too long to complete his assignments.
2. You can count on Mark to help you out; he’s very reliable.
3. There are two reasons why you should take that trip to Atlanta: one is to meet with the regional director, and the other is to check on our suppliers.
Test Yourself: Rewriting Tom’s Letter
Reread the vignette at the beginning of this chapter. Take the suggestions given by Brad and rewrite Tom’s paragraph. The following is a suggested revision.
Honesty is the hallmark of Marcia’s character. Her honesty extends from areas where we easily see it (in relationships and business transactions) to integrity of thought. Scientific, thorough, and meticulous, she approaches any analytical task with an exacting eye. This is what I mean by integrity of thought.
I have always been impressed by Marcia’s helpfulness and willingness to help others, regardless of their position. She also is pleasant to work with, and she takes the time to help those who are learning their way. For example, last week she stayed late to help a coworker complete a task that was behind schedule.
CHAPTER 4
Test Yourself: Changing Passive Voice to Active Voice
Rewrite the following sentences. Change passive voice to active voice. Say things as directly as you can. Supply the subject of the sentence when necessary. The following are suggested answers.
1. The managers chose Leslie Brooks employee of the year.
2. The police gave us an escorted tour of the jail.
3. Did the reviewers recommend that film?
4. The software company gave our agency a presentation.
5. The guest speaker explained how to sell a product.
6. The accounting department distributed an incorrect version of the policy.
7. It became clear that the witnesses misrepresented the facts.
8. The police recommend that you stick to the main roads.
9. Did the company rehire him?
10. We appreciate your help.
11. The job requires a college degree and five years of experience.
12. The investigating committee determined that the nomination should be withdrawn.
Test Yourself: Bringing Submerged Verbs to the Surface
Rewrite the following sentences. Change passive voice to active voice. Bring the submerged verbs to the surface. Say things as directly as you can. You’ll find you can eliminate many words in the process. The following are suggested answers.
1. These reports concern the development of new safety measures.
2. He proposed a solution to the problem.
3. Mr. Huffman paid today.
4. The employees recognized I-Hsin for her persistence and hard work.
5. We are finally progressing toward our major goals.
6. The legislative subcommittee determined yesterday that our agency would continue to receive funding.
7. The auditors checked all expenditures from the past quarter.
8. Janet and Malik analyzed that report.
9. We recommend that the agency distribute nonperishable foods to the homeless.
10. After carefully reviewing the evidence, the jury decided to acquit the man.
11. These changes will streamline our process.
12. The contract was finalized yesterday. (For active voice: The agency finalized the contract yesterday.)
Test Yourself: Improving Your Tone
Rewrite these lines to give them a friendlier, more confident tone. The following are suggested answers.
1. The proposed high-speed boats will have ample speed for at least 85 percent of suspect chases.
2. The regulatory program will protect the public from companies that place profits ahead of service to consumers.
3. Please feel free to call if you have any questions. I’m available from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. on weekdays.
4. Please sign the application so we can proceed.
5. Please note our new time-keeping policy.
6. This software program helps accountants complete their tasks on time. Our beta testing indicates that monthly reports were out on time or within a few days of the deadline. This is an improvement over what we saw in the past.
7. Please review these steps in the manual and be sure to follow them.
8. We received your request for the balance of your benefit check. You should receive it by the beginning of next week.
9. Kate took the visitors to the customer service office.
10. Please review the enclosed personnel handbook and sign off or note any desired changes by February 20.
CHAPTER 5
Test Yourself: Finding a Better Way to Say It
Translate each of the following gobbledygook statements into relaxed, straightforward business English. The following are suggested answers.
1. Because of some security problems this past year, we have new procedures for visitor tours.
2. Search all visitors and remove any questionable items from their briefcases or handbags.
3. Distribute badges to all visitors, and then take them first to the courthouse.
4. In accordance with agency regulations, do not allow visitors near any sensitive material.
5. If a visitor wanders into unauthorized areas or looks at sensitive material, gather all visitors and take them out of the building.
6. We ask your cooperation in following these regulations to help ensure our security.
Test Yourself: Deflating Words
Replace each inflated word with a short word (or with two or three short words). The following are suggested answers (in the right-hand column).
1. communicate | 1. tell |
2. component | 2. part |
3. constitute | 3. make up |
4. necessitate | 4. need, require |
5. depart | 5. leave |
6. magnitude | 6. size |
7. convene | 7. meet |
8. exhibit (verb) | 8. show |
9. equitable | 9. fair, just, impartial |
10. transmit | 10. send |
Test Yourself: Deflating Sentences
To deflate these sentences, you’ll have to interpret them. Rewrite each sentence to clarify its meaning; express the thought in an entirely different way if you like. Cut any
unnecessary words. Whenever you can replace long words with short ones, or unfamiliar words with familiar ones, do so. The following are suggested answers.
1. You will move ahead faster and make more money as you make the best use of your abilities.
2. We believe your plan for reducing injuries will not work.
3. The current procedure does not make the best use of our personnel.
4. Radioactivity is currently a possibility. [When is radioactivity not excessively dangerous? Note also that “presently” can mean either “right now” or “soon.” Use another, more specific word.]
5. Most students were not well prepared, and they made many mistakes.
Test Yourself: Avoiding Repetition
Read the two examples of repetitious sentences below. Write a shorter, clearer version of each sentence. The following are suggested answers.
– You may request an appeal, and you may also request a personal appearance before the appeals board.
– If you make a hole while freeing a stuck vehicle, you must fill the hole before you drive away.
Test Yourself: Making the Parts Parallel
The following are suggested answers.
A. The following is a list of requirements for a college instructor. Make the parts of this outline match.
1. Quality of classroom teaching
a. Knowledge of the subject
b. Ability to relate to students
c. Responsiveness to questions
2. Contributions to the university
3. Contributions to the community
a. Volunteer work related to instructor’s field of expertise
b. Volunteer work outside the instructor’s field
4. Quality and quantity of instructor’s publications
B. Here is part of an outline for a presentation on the qualities of a successful manager. Tighten it by making the parts match.
• Can cope with stressful situations
• Is a good role model
• Knows how to foster teamwork
• Communicates clearly at all levels
• Takes responsibility
C. Rewrite the following sentences to make the parts match.
1. The history course was stimulating and challenging.
2. If you want to buy shares in Fund XYZ by mail, fill out and sign the account application form, make your check payable to “The XYZ Fund,” and write your Social Security number on your check.
3. She signed up for courses in cake decorating and watercolor design.
4. My favorite sports are golf in the fall, tennis in the spring, and skiing in the winter.
5. He couldn’t decide whether to take the job or go to graduate school as he had planned.
Test Yourself: Painting a Clear Picture
Read the following statements. Now read into them. Use your imagination. Replace each statement with one that is specific. Make it interesting and informative. Write more than one sentence if you like. The following are suggested answers.
1. The report related to the city’s annual budget and how it affects employee benefits.
2. Yesterday we had two inches of rain and winds up to 40 miles an hour.
3. You must check the system at least once a month.
4. She spent two months working on the presentation.
5. The boss likes your idea so well that he is going to recommend it to upper management.
6. I plan to apply for a job in the private sector within the next month.
CHAPTER 7
Test Yourself: Line Editing a Letter
Suppose the letter below were going out over your signature. What changes would you make before mailing it? Examine the letter for things that look or sound strange. Look out for inconsistencies, omissions, errors, problems with tone and style, submerged verbs, and parts that aren’t parallel. Is the letter understandable? Is the phrasing precise? Circle each mistake you notice and rewrite the letter.
Dear Mrs. Phillips:
The following is a summary of changes planned for this year’s Youth Leadership Institute (YLI) program.
Screening of Instructors
More than 70% of our participants said that last year’s YLI program was the best leadership-training program in the state. However, the program showed the need to provide 24-hour monitoring of program participants. Therefore, the Behavioral Sciences Department suggested that this year’s instructors undergo new screening procedures. This screening would identify whether instructors have:
• a background in psychology (needed to provide 24-hour monitoring of students);
• crisis counseling abilities; and
• no substance abuse problems.
We are preparing to begin the screening this year, with help from the Behavioral Sciences and Personnel departments.
We have found that we need a better way to measure our participants’ progress during the program. Each year we ask students to evaluate their progress at the YLI program. Unfortunately, students last year seemed unwilling to discuss their concerns, so the evaluation did not reflect their progress accurately.
Therefore, we are developing a new survey that uses both instructor-led interviews and anonymous questionnaires. Both surveys will be administered every two weeks. Students will participate in both programs, and instructors will use the anonymous questionnaire results to gauge the overall progress of the students. We hope to have more accurate results with this new system.
Thank you for your interest in the YLI program. We will send you copies of all pertinent forms and questionnaires when they become available. Please call if you need more information.
Sincerely,
YLI Program Director
CHAPTER 8
Test Yourself: Stating the Subject and Purpose
Give each email a more informative subject statement. Then write a one- or two-sentence opening that makes the purpose clear. The following are examples.
SUBJECT: Procedures for Internal Meetings Adopted
Attached are the newly adopted internal meeting procedures developed by Bill.
SUBJECT: Updated Audiovisual Form Attached
The trainers have approved the audiovisual form with slight changes.
Test Yourself: Rewriting an Email
Read over the email below and rewrite it. Delete all unnecessary and inappropriate information. Then organize the remaining data into a succinct, readable message. The following is a suggested answer.
SUBJECT: Request for Writing Course
We’d like you to organize a business-writing course for the division. Here are the specifics:
♦ Two or three days in duration
♦ 15 participants, including program analysts, budget analysts, engineers, and managers
♦ Conference room on third or fifth floor
♦ Instructor with federal service experience
I appreciate your help with this. Please let me know if you have any questions.
CHAPTER 9
Test Yourself: Rewriting a Letter
Rewrite the following letter using any of the techniques discussed in this chapter—indented lists, headings, question-and-answer formats, and if-then tables—that seem appropriate. The following is an example revision.
To: All School Bus Drivers
Re: Limiting Bus Idling
The State School Transportation Association has teamed up with the State Environmental Agency and the Greentown School District to protect schoolchildren and each of you from excessive exposure to diesel exhaust emissions. As part of this effort, we support and encourage you to follow their guidelines restricting engine idling time whenever practical, effective immediately.
Guidelines for Limiting Bus Idling
To the extent possible, eliminate idling by taking the following steps:
1. Shut off all engines while waiting for passengers to board at place of origin.
2. Shut off all engines as soon as practical after arriving at your location.
3. Follow the guidelines for maximum engine idling, according to the following table:
If the temperature is | Then the maximum idling time is |
above 32° F | 3 minutes |
between −10° and 32° F | 10 minutes |
Below −10° F | Unlimited |
Benefits of Following Guidelines
Please help us do our part to reduce air pollution and protect children’s (and your own) health. Minimizing vehicle idling will also save money by reducing fuel consumption and engine wear.
Thank you for your support and cooperation with this effort. Greentown School Bus Drivers Doing Their Share for Clean Air!
Sincerely yours,
Fleet Manager
CHAPTER 10
Test Yourself: The Report’s Tone
Rewrite the following report to give it a more personal tone and make it more interesting to read. The following is an example revision.
Bennett County Hospital
Preliminary Report 2 June 16, 20xx
Submitted to the Board of Trustees
by the Review Committee
We are pleased to submit the second of three reports that you requested for your study of the feasibility of expanding Bennett County Hospital. We will submit the third report within three months and will include the data that you requested in your December 2, 2006, letter.
General Information
For the first time, Bennett County Hospital has received full accreditation from the highest national authority on hospital accreditation, the Joint Commission on Accreditation of Hospitals.
The hospital received this full accreditation because its personnel, services, and physical plant meet or exceed high professional standards.
In the past year, the hospital took the following steps to enhance the quality of service provided:
• Upgraded intensive care facilities
• Made a comparative study of nurses’ salaries
• Increased nurses’ salaries to maintain a well-qualified staff
• Began holding monthly meetings to maintain the cooperation of staff, administration, and trustees ...
CHAPTER 11
Test Yourself: Writing a Mechanism Description
Using the guidelines above, write a description of a computer mouse. The following is an example description.
A computer mouse is a device that controls the movement of the cursor or pointer on a display screen. A mechanical mouse is a small object that can be rolled along a hard, flat surface. Its name is derived from the shape of its early model, which looked a bit like a mouse. It is designed to fit into an adult’s hand. It has a rubber or metal ball on its underside that can roll in all directions. Mechanical sensors within the mouse detect the direction the ball is rolling and move the screen pointer accordingly.
Mice (or mouses) contain at least one button and sometimes as many as three, which have different functions depending on what program is running. Some mice also include a scroll wheel for scrolling through long documents.
An optomechanical mouse is the same as a mechanical mouse but uses optical sensors to detect the motion of the ball. An optical mouse uses a laser to detect the mouse’s movement.