Chapter 8
Address the Dress

It starts with the shoes.

—Marina Sirtis

Clothing Communicates

If you’ve ever felt extremely underdressed at an important event, you know the definition of “awkward.” Suddenly, you want to crawl underneath the table. You can’t wait to get out of that party you were really looking forward to. And, why didn’t your girlfriend tell you “no shorts” (she did) or that her parents would be there (she did, twice)? So, you ditch the dress-down disaster as fast as possible, languish in “liquid courage,” or spend most of the night hiding behind large planters. No matter how hard you try, however, self-consciousness and a negative internal dialogue paralyze you. Did her mom just roll her eyes at you?

But why does something as simple as breaking a dress code make us crazy? It’s because (accurate or not) you are absolutely convinced everyone is staring at you and silently taking notes on your terrible attire. And, although it may only feel like they’re staring, people will make a judgment based on what you’re wearing. You don’t have to be terribly observant or even fashion conscious to be an excellent and quick evaluator. We’re not talking about a fun (or snarky) fashion critique; it’s our primitive defense instincts at work and a snap judgment. It’s how we determine whether a stranger is friendly, dangerous, like us, from another culture, rich, poor, gay, straight, laid back, professional, and otherwise. In a split second, we check off a list in our head and determine how to approach or avoid someone unfamiliar to us. It’s a defense mechanism honed from years of personal and anecdotal experience with a variety of people. Are we right all the time? Of course not, but it’s our brain’s way of protecting us. We tend to more likely help people who we perceive as more similar to us.¹ So dressing the part, depending on where you are going, can help in more ways than one.

What? Wait, Your Shirt Is Saying Something…

The fact is that clothes do communicate, even if we (the wearer) can’t hear them. And it’s not just about how well dressed or not we are or whether we assess someone as safe to approach. Studies show that assumptions about someone’s personality, level of confidence, and socioeconomic status can be part of the overall assessment.² In addition, if you want to be seen as an authority in your field, you’re better off dressing in a more conservative way. The higher up in status, the more it matters if that top button on your shirt is fastened or unfastened.³ Now, we can almost hear some of you saying, “I would never judge someone’s personality just based on what they’re wearing! How dare you suggest such a thing!” Okay, so maybe you don’t sound so dramatic. The truth is that judging someone on what they’re wearing is automatic and mostly unconscious. We all do it, but for the most part we are not fully aware of our judgments. However, they may show up in the decisions we make. For example: who you trust, whose advice you take, or even if you believed the information received in a lecture.

The clothes you choose to wear not only send a message to the people around you, but they also send a message to you, the wearer! We have all noticed the difference between wearing business attire versus workout clothes. And most of us have had the experience of how much better we feel when we dress up after wallowing in sweats, ice cream, and a Bridget Jones marathon after a breakup. Did you know there’s a name for that? Just when you thought you had heard it all. It’s called enclothed cognition and it is defined as “the systematic influence that clothes have on the wearers’ psychological process.”⁴ So this is about what the clothes we wear are communicating to us. An important finding from this research that pertains to you, the speech giver, is that putting on certain clothes can prepare you to take on different roles and can also affect your abilities. Actors experience this often and in interviews have said that putting on the character’s clothes helped them get into the role. Take a moment to think which clothes help you feel strong, empowered, and confident. The take away here is that you should choose your dress not based on how you feel, but on how you want to feel on speech day.

Of course, we’re not saying smother your real personality or even refrain from making a “statement” with your clothing, but we want to emphasize that even bold choices have natural boundaries in the form of set or unwritten protocols. For instance, at most funeral services, donning an architecturally daring hat might turn heads, but it’s a lot more conventional and acceptable than, say, sporting a banana yellow bikini. As a public speaker, your attire sets the tone for how your audience will accept or “reject” you. Clothing has the effect of distancing you from your audience or bringing you closer together. Of course, the closer the audience feels to you, the more open they will be to hearing your message.

This is why you won’t ever catch a male political type wearing a blazer, silk tie, and fancy loafers while downing a cold one with his constituents at a local pub. At the very least, the politicos roll up their sleeves, ditch the coat, and loosen the tie. Likewise, a female politician wouldn’t visit voters at a Minnesota turkey farm wearing heels and pearls. On the other hand, when keynoting a political party convention or speaking on the floor of Congress, you won’t see these same folks in work boots and hardhats. They dress for their role, event, and audience and you should, too.

So what’s an appropriate look? Of course, the first rule is to be you. There is nothing worse than feeling both uncomfortable in your clothes and managing nerves at the same time. However, you need to balance that idea with what is appropriate for your role and who is in your audience. To start, what’s your role at the event? In some cases, there is a “uniform” that automatically accompanies your role. If you’re taking part in a religious service or academic ceremony (like graduation), wardrobe is usually clearly specified. The same goes for weddings and other events for which attire is mentioned on the invite. But just keep in mind that not all definitions of “business attire” are the same. Weather and location also demand different adjustments. If your role is at an unfamiliar event or occasion, try to find out what people wore the year before or at similar occasions. Photos of the event might be posted on social media, an event Website, or otherwise. Ask around. Find an appropriate look or style, and then upgrade it just a notch. You are, after all, going to be out in front, so you want to look and feel sharp. The overall message you want to send is “I respect this occasion and you, as an audience.”

We always encourage students to dress up on speech day. First, it communicates to the professor you have made the extra effort because you are taking the assignment seriously. Second, other students are more apt to give you their attention because your attire communicates professionalism. Third, remember enclothed cognition? We all tend to carry ourselves differently when we’re wearing more professional attire.

Ladies, we act differently when we’re wearing heels, as opposed to flip-flops. Physically, we have to adjust our posture. You probably stand a little straighter and walk a little more purposefully (if only not to wipe out on a slick floor). Guys, a suit and tie change the game for us as well. And it’s not just feeling more “put together” that makes us strut a bit more assuredly, it’s also the positive attention we get from others that puts the style in our stride.

A Word About Hats

Unless you have a royal title or are giving a speech in England, hats can distract and hinder. You may not be aware of how you hide underneath your hat, but your audience will. Speaking of hiding your game face: Guys we know you love your baseball caps, but on speech day, sport caps are rarely in fashion. Of course, like everything else, there are exceptions. If you normally wear a hat and it’s part of your signature look, go for it because you can rock it. Anything that we wear most of the time becomes a part of us. How many people wear a ring on a different finger as a reminder to do something? The reason why that works is because putting a ring on a different finger feels funny, and that funny feeling reminds us of the task. Similarly, if you’re not used to wearing hats, why start on speech day? Just like the ring, it will periodically take your attention away from the task at hand.

Looking Like Champagne on a Beer Budget

We’re not telling you all of this so that you run out and spend a fortune on clothes. These days, a lot of offices are pretty casual, especially in the tech and entertainment fields, so your wardrobe could be limited. Or you might be a student or recent graduate on a budget. You might not even own a suit or business dress. That’s okay; don’t panic. Borrow from a girlfriend or a buddy. Maybe splurge on nice pants, but recycle a dress shirt. Get creative. There are some amazing consignment shops and second-hand stores with designer duds. Just don’t wait until the last minute. The truth is that it’s actually much more about the intention than anything else. The effort alone is usually enough to win over an audience, especially if they know you as a “jeans and sneakers” guy, but you roll up in a navy blazer and a sharp, Oxford button-down.

You also want to make sure that your clothing is functional and that it doesn’t impede your performance. If you’ve ever worn new leather shoes for the first time, you know what we’re talking about. New heels can also be slippery, so you need to wear down the soles to get a little traction. Break them in before your speech day. If you’re not used to wearing a tie, try wearing one for an hour just around the house. Practice in it so you’re used to the feeling of being choked while trying to give an amazing speech. Sorry, for those of us who don’t wear ties on a daily basis, that’s pretty much what it feels like. But hey, it’s better to get used to it now than experiencing it for the first time on speech day. If you plan to wear a jacket, slip it on and run your speech. Tailored coats can restrict arm movement, so your “gesturing” range of motion might be very different when wearing the jacket than not. Again, better to know now.

Jewelry can be great, but can also have the potential to be a distraction for both you and the audience. Dangling earrings can get caught in hair or mic headsets. Loose bracelets or heavy watches can clink and clang on a podium every time you move. Necklaces can get caught in lavaliere mic packs. Unless you’re the Duchess of Windsor, the rule for jewelry is to keep it simple.

The bottom line with wardrobe: Err on the conservative side when choosing your look. Avoid big logos or any clothing with sayings, unless it fits your role, the event, and your audience. Your outfit should never say more than you do.

Smiles Are Always in Fashion

Lastly, our one piece of fashion advice that won’t cost you a penny: when in doubt, pull your smile out. Okay, even if you’re not in doubt, pull out your smile. A number of studies have shown the benefits of flashing our pearly whites.⁵

Here are some of the ways your smile will save you on speech day:

It will make you better looking: It is a scientific fact that we are attracted to people who smile.

They’re contagious: If you smile, the whole room will smile back.

It will warm up the room in an instant: A great grin will defrost the tension in you and everyone else.

It will put you in a good mood: Smiling releases endorphins and serotonin in your brain, which are the natural “feel good” chemicals.

It calms you down: Stress can show on your face and smiling relaxes your facial muscles.

Zipping It All Up

This chapter was dedicated to help you pick out the best outfit to wear when giving your speech. We pointed out different things to consider when walking into your closet on speech day (actually, make sure you choose your outfit well in advance, at least by the night before). Be aware of what your clothes are communicating to others, sense how you feel when wearing certain clothes, and choose accordingly. Make sure you’ve done a test run on any new duds, threads, garb, get-up, apparel, or kicks. Select your outfit to fit the venue and when it doubt, err on the conservative side. But remember, whatever you choose should dress up your confidence. And don’t forget to wear your smile, because attitude trumps everything. No one knows if you’re feeling nervous or stressed out unless you tell them. So don’t tell them! Instead, flash them that beautiful smile.

Try and Apply

Find Your Style

Evaluate what’s in your closet. Take inventory of what you have and what you need.

What clothes help you get in the role of “speech giver”?

What clothes communicate “I know what I’m talking about”?

Look for the basics first; leave ties, shoes, and accessories for last.

Guys: Pick out your suit or nice slacks and shirt combo; solids are always best.

Gals: Make a decision if you want to wear a dress, skirt, or pants, and choose a shirt to match.

Try on what you have chosen to make sure it fits and feels good.

Match your shoes and accessories.

If you’re not sure, ask your friends, the ones that will give you an honest opinion.

Know Your Venue

Make sure you know at what kind of event or venue you will be speaking so you familiarize yourself with the dress code.

Find out what kind of people will be there. Who are you speaking to?

Jot down the articles of clothing that you might need given your research.

Key Notes

1. Clothes communicate: Figure out the image you want your audience to develop about you and dress accordingly.

2. Enclothed cognition: Pay attention to how you want to feel on speech day and dress the part.

3. There are many ways to dress the part, even if you don’t own “speech gear” yet.

4. When in doubt, smile!