Chapter 9
Go Ahead, Complain
Proceed with Care
When you think of constructive complaining, you think, “Please proceed. Right this way.” In business, you need all the insight and help you can get to improve. In many cases, people who are brave enough to speak up are voicing the experience of several. When faced with complaining, it is best to follow these guidelines: Listen to complaints. Encourage constructive feedback. Complain effectively and offer solutions.
Spot Complaints
Not all complaining by employees is bad. People often have legitimate complaints that deserve attention, such as too much work or poor workflow management. Pay special attention to complaints involving potential harm to individuals, unethical behavior, or illegal actions. Legitimate complaints include:
- unclear direction or lack of feedback from leaders.
- bullying, harassment, or unsafe working conditions.
- job fear and/or undue pressure to perform.
- information about someone lying, cheating, or breaking the law.
- unrealistic demands from clients or customers.
- incompetent coworkers or peers not pulling their weight or holding others up.
- not feeling heard or respected at work.
Part of any job is to figure out how to work with other people and get the best you can from them. This is a fact of business.Employee Complaints Are Good
The consequences for companies that don’t listen to their people are common. Employees find a way to be heard through lawsuits, strikes, slow-downs, and whistleblowing. Some leaders encourage their employees to provide feedback and concerns. These leaders recognize the positive power of input, complaints, and venting.
Former Southwest Airlines chief executive officer (CEO) Howard Putnam’s solution to increase employee morale and communications at another airline, Braniff, was to send a personal letter to the airline’s 10,000 employees and families at their homes. Putnam asked discouraged employees to give suggestions to improve the company’s revenue, cut costs, and add to the quality of operations. Putnam received more than 3,000 responses, suggestions, and complaints, which ranged from an employee’s missed check to the existence of an inside ring of thieves.
“CEOs who take listening seriously, and I did, know the value of input from all stakeholders, especially employees on the front line. There is valuable knowledge available . . . at no charge out there . . . take advantage of it and utilize it.” Putnam acknowledged the feedback, too. Each employee who wrote him received a handwritten note from Putnam in which he thanked them for writing and commented on their suggestions. Putnam says, “They never had a handwritten note from the CEO before. They saved the notes. They shared them with customers and the media. The improved morale was instantaneous, and customer service and satisfaction went up immediately as well. The value of a handwritten note, still today in this electronic age, is amazing.”
Encourage Employees to Give Valid Complaints and Solutions
Create an environment where people are encouraged to share their ideas and feel empowered to make changes. Employees who feel they are being heard and have the ability to create changes are less likely to complain.
Address Complaints and Investigate Their Validity
Establish a formal complaint process. By having a complaint system in place, people are more likely to think through their complaint and offer solutions. And providing a structured outlet may keep them from complaining to others. Those who are just whining are less likely to spend time filing a formal complaint.
Maintain a positive attitude in general. Bosses and coworkers who make a conscious effort to control their moods and stay upbeat positively influence a group. A boss or coworker who complains is more likely to have employees who complain as well.
My Complainer stopped complaining when I treated her with respect and got her opinion on improving work productivity in certain office concerns. She left feeling valued and a team player.Stop Complainers at Work by Listening to Them
Consider your Complainers at work. They may be providing helpful information, but just not presenting it well. Review the feedback they give and look for nuggets of truth. In some cases, your Complainers may be an early warning system and a more vocal representation of your own workforce. Step back and think about their complaints in a broader context. For instance:
- Whiners want to receive empathy and connect. Their behavior may signal to you that you or other leaders are not communicating effectively, that a work-life balance issue exists, or that work has been unevenly dispersed among the team.
- Complicators are seeking calm and stability. Their behavior may signal that there has been too much change or too little communication or that something is about to break if it is not addressed.
- Prima Donnas are seeking recognition. Their poor behavior may be an indication that others need more support and recognition for the jobs they are doing.
- Controllers want action. They are looking to get things done. Their behavior may show you that something or someone is blocking their progress and the progress of others.
- Toxics are trying to create unhealthy situations. They get an almost sadistic enjoyment out of manipulating others. The more they act up, the more others may need relief.
In all of these situations, don’t forget to solicit solutions from the people bringing the complaints. Use phrases such as, “Sounds like a problem. What are you going to do?” and “What do you think would be the best solution to this?”
Complaining Is Good for Business
It sounds unbelievable, but criticism can create beneficial business results. Complainers who take the time and energy to identify an area of concern are doing you a favor. A client who points out a glitch in fulfillment or a service delivery issue might actually be helping you retain other clients. If situations are brought to light early enough, a company has the opportunity to make it right. It’s common knowledge that people who have problems that are resolved correctly are more loyal to the company and even refer more business.
When the customer saw that we were taking him seriously, the complaints reduced significantly. Not entirely, mind you, because he seemed to rather enjoy complaining about some things.A vendor who identifies areas of concern, such as payment processing issues, helps the company ensure that contracts are fulfilled. An employee who gripes about a frustrating policy gives you an opportunity to remove an obstacle that may be affecting other employees. Do your best not to disregard the complaint because you dislike the way it’s presented to you. If the Complainer isn’t professional, does not communicate effectively, or uses inappropriate language, do not automatically dismiss the message. If the complaint is valid, address the problem.
Former Fort Worth Star-Telegram columnist and author Dave Lieber provides a popular forum that allows individuals to protest and take action. “Smart companies use complaints to fix their problems,” Lieber says. “The complaints are not only empowering for the customers but also for the companies that want to build strong relationships and maintain their reputations.”
Business leaders who are responsive and handle complaints effectively often gain a more loyal community. In your attempt to understand the situation, show empathy for the Complainer. The actions you take to remedy the problem could save you an important customer, valued partner, or critical employee!
A Client’s Destructive Feedback
Clients who don’t want their problems resolved may simply want an avenue to vent. At times, clients and customers take advantage of service providers. Clients can seek people like customer service representatives who are paid to listen to them. The client Complainer then spews issues and emotions caused by some ill fortune or personal baggage. These chronic complaining customers “show up” and verbally “throw up” all over you and your people. Approximately 27 percent of people surveyed said that customers and clients were their Complainers.
As a leader, give your direct reports words/phrases they can say to decrease the hostility. Let them know when they need to escalate the issue up the leadership chain. Remind your people that, in the process of hearing the complaints, they are receiving valuable feedback that assists the company in fixing problems. Help your employees manage these sometimes difficult customer relationships. Give the customer service representatives permission to take a break, postpone a decision until they know the right action, and even fire a client if the situation requires it. Remember, you and your people are not punching bags.
Communication is key: from work to relationships to life in general. If you don’t communicate, the problem is yours, not theirs.Complaining Is Good for You
Complaining can be personally beneficial. If you receive poor service, complaining gives the service provider an opportunity to make it right for you. Complaining gives you an opportunity to vent and determine the validity of your feelings. Complaining allows you to connect with others. Other people may have similar complaints. Until one person voices his or her concerns, others may not speak up.
Complaining is personally beneficial when it:
- allows you to determine whether others share your frustration or concern.
- permits you to vent, which can be cathartic, versus keeping it in and putting up with stress.
- shows dissatisfaction in a more permissible way than bad actions.
- enables you to effectively be heard or have your needs met (for example, a squeaky wheel is heard and often fixed).
- serves as an icebreaker when meeting new people (for example, “The line here always takes too long,” or “Can you believe how terribly the Dallas Cowboys played on Sunday?”).
- helps you save face in front of others to provide an excuse for your behavior (for example, “I would’ve done better on the team presentation if my headache wasn’t so bad,” or “I couldn’t run as fast in the 5K because my ankle is sore”).
- prevents you from ruminating about discontent so that it doesn’t fester and blow up into something bigger than it is and cause depression.1
“People don’t realize how much power they have to fix situations, often quickly and in their favor,” Lieber says. His “Watchdog” newspaper column, book, and programs help empower others to complain effectively and protect themselves from unethical individuals and companies.
“If something goes wrong, speak up. You can get what others can’t. . . . Most people don’t realize how easy this is.”
Making a Valid Complaint
If you want to be more effective when you are lodging a valid complaint, make sure to use the negotiation questions:
- What do I want from my complaint?
- What good business reasons support my request?
- Is it worth my time and effort?
- What good business reasons does the other side have to address my complaint?
- What shared interests, if any, do we have?
Travel Tips to Complain Constructively
Reactions. Employees and customers have legitimate complaints that deserve attention. Complaints can point out problems or issues that need to be corrected at your business. Complaining is good for your health because it keeps you from holding in potential stress.
If you are working with or leading Complainers, remember that you won’t stop their complaining. You just want them to stop complaining to you.
The best way to negotiate complaining is to listen to complaints, encourage constructive feedback, complain effectively, and offer solutions. And, if you’re the Complainer, don’t complain all the time. You are giving your power away to those who express themselves more effectively. If you have a problem and want help, it’s your responsibility to identify what you need, calmly approach others, and bring some solutions. Remember, you want to communicate powerfully so that others will listen and help you get what you want.Crossing the Finish Line
Winning Beats Whining
You’re almost finished. Do you have any complaints? Did this book deliver as promised? Do you now have tools to identify Complainers? Were you provided with examples, suggestions, scenarios, conversation strategies, and ideas to negotiate to get support from your company? Can you identify those Energy Drains that are creating stress? Have you created a plan of action? Have you browsed the Resources? What about the website links? If you are a Complainer, do you have some ideas of what to do next? If you didn’t receive something you needed, let us know at www.StopComplainers.com.
And if you did receive what was promised, what are you waiting for? Make the decision to negotiate your work drama and get help if needed. If you have Energy Drains, identify them and correct them if possible. Do what you can to alleviate the unnecessary stress so that everyone can get back to work and get more done. If you are seen as a Complainer, you can stop it. Seek help if you need it. Complaining isn’t reflective of who you really are or the gifts and talents you can contribute. Develop your strengths and learn how to communicate so that others will help you get what you want.
And if you have chronic Complainers, give them feedback, redirect their focus, influence them positively, and see if they will choose to be contributors. You no longer have to manage, deal with, or tolerate chronic complaining. You now have the strategy, tools, and support to negotiate that unnecessary and expensive work drama. And with those Complainers and Energy Drains, you now have the power and permission to spot them and stop them.
Notes
1. See Robin M. Kowalski’s article “Whining, Griping and Complaining: Positivity in the Negativity,” Journal of Clinical Psychology 58, no. 9, (Sept 2002): 1023–35.