7

Communicate Expertise

HOW CAN YOU teach contacts to trust you? You can show them or you can tell them. You show them when they see you in action. You tell them when you talk about yourself, your team, or your company. Competency 6 covers how to tell people about yourself—without bragging. In conversation, you’ll find many opportunities for storytelling that makes your expertise come alive and makes you—and your organization—memorable. One prime time occurs when someone asks you, “What do you do?” Another time comes when you hear another question, “What’s new?”

Answering “What Do You Do?”

When answering the “What do you do?” question, you teach people not only about your job, but also about your Character and Competence. But, as with Name Exchange, all too often the rituals we have learned so well, and toss off so effortlessly, get in the way of building relationships and finding out more about each other. Whether you’re answering the “What do you do?” question from colleagues at work or from contacts outside, your answer can energize and steer the conversation—or fall flat.

WHY THE USUAL ANSWERS DON’T WORK

Do you respond to that oft-asked question with your occupation? If you say, “I’m an attorney,” that’s Cement. The response falls like a dead weight—a block of cement—at the other person’s feet. There may be 37 other attorneys in the room, so you just missed the chance to make yourself unique. And your conversation partner is likely to say: “Oh… nice.” (Yep, that’s the number-one comeback when people hear what you do.)

Do you respond with your title? If you say, “I’m Technical Outreach Interactive Services Manager with the Northeast Division of Tri-State Corporate Systems, a division of System Information International, Inc.,” that’s Fog. Giving a title—especially a long, complicated, jargon-filled one—leaves your conversation partner surrounded by a thick cloud of words. And your partner will probably come back with, “Oh… nice.”

Do you respond with your industry? If you say, “I’m in real estate,” that’s the Blob. That answer puts you right into the middle of the great gray blob of the other 23 people your conversation partner knows who also are in real estate. You’ve missed your chance to tell about your special talents or your special niche in the real estate industry—what makes you different from all the others. And your conversation partner, not knowing what else to say, probably replies with a polite, “Oh… nice.”

Do you respond with the name of your organization? If you say, “I’m with Disney,” that’s the Flag. That response wraps you in the flag of the organization. You aren’t going to be known for your talents and capabilities if you say that; your only identity will be “one of those Disney people”—a dangerous situation if you ever leave or are laid off. Note that the more prestigious your company is, the more tempting it is to mention it and the more exaggerated the “Ohhhh… nice!!” response will be.

Don’t give your occupation, title, industry, or company.

What’s the problem? These commonplace responses to “What do you do?” aren’t conversation builders; they’re conversation stoppers.

Your contact may have learned to deal with Cement and the Flag by asking questions: “What kind of law do you practice?” “What do you do at Disney?” But you didn’t make it easy for him to talk with you. And you missed the boat when it came to teaching him anything about your capabilities and talents.

MAKE THE RIGHT THINGS HAPPEN

Your conversation partner has a TV screen in her head. Most people do. When you tell her about your work, there are two possibilities.

On the one hand, she may see nothing on the screen—like when your cable is out. That’s what people see when you respond to “What do you do?” with Cement, Fog, or the Blob—nothing. On the other hand, if you proudly wave the name of your organization in front of her, the Flag, she may see your company logo or well-known product. This answer may feel good at the moment. There you are, basking in the reflected glory of Mickey Mouse. But you could get so much more. Ask yourself, “What do I want my contact to see on the TV screen in her head? What one thing do I want her to know about me?” When you come up with that, you’ll know what to say.

Put a picture in your listener’s mind.

GIVE IT YOUR BEST

Use our two-sentence formula—the Best/Test—to construct your optimal answer. For your first sentence, your Best, decide on the one thing—of all your many talents and skills—you want people to remember about you. Keep this sentence short, around 15 or fewer words.

For your second sentence, come up with a brief example, a testimonial (the Test) that backs up the talent or skill you highlighted in your first sentence. Use only about 25 words or so to briefly describe how you:

   Saved the day.

   Served the client.

   Solved the problem.

Keep your Best/Test snappy and jargon-free. Aim to be understood by a 10-year-old. Include exciting, colorful, vivid language.

Using the Best/Test formula gives you the best answer.

Keri used to say, “I’m Senior Manager of Utility Plant Construction at Barkus Mangle Harbusson Professional Services Consultants.” What a Fog that puts the listener in! Here’s Keri’s Best/Test answer: “I make sure construction projects stay on time and on budget. At a wind farm going up in Oregon, we’ve just learned that our community education efforts have succeeded, and residents nearby are now supporting the project.” Her listeners now see windmills.

Lisa used to say, “I’m in finance,” a Blob answer that told only her industry. Now she focuses on only one aspect of her role as Vice President of Finance at a large healthcare organization for her Best: “I figure out how to come up with the money to build new nursing homes.” She updates her Test frequently to provide an ever-changing picture of what she’s doing at work: “Right now, I have a team checking out taxes in southern states. I just updated the CEO on our findings and pointed out the impact tax rates can have on our expansion plans.” What do you know about Lisa from this short example? Several things. She’s a valued member of the executive team. She’s proactively providing information that the company needs to make good decisions. Using this kind of Best/Test, Lisa is teaching her contacts about her Character and her Competence—and beginning to build the trust that is necessary to establish an effective networking relationship. That’s a major improvement over her original Blob answer.

John used to describe himself as “a marketing consultant,” a Cement answer. Now, he tells what he does Best: “I help people get the word out about their products and services.” He, too, frequently updates his Test to provide a vivid picture of himself succeeding with clients: “Last week, I wrote a news release that got one of my clients, a CPA, on the front page of Tuesday’s business section. Since the article appeared, she’s had seven calls from prospective clients!”

What do you know about John from this short example? He writes news releases that get results for clients? He knows the local media and successfully used a news release to get a reporter to write an article? Now, imagine that you run into a CPA who says, “I want to let women entrepreneurs know about my services for small businesses.” Wouldn’t John’s name and expertise pop up in your mental database of contacts? Assuming you’ve learned enough about his Character and Competence, wouldn’t you mention John to this CPA?

Notice that your Best/Test answers provide listeners with two kinds of information—facts and the inferences you can draw from them. Facts are specific and verifiable. John writes news releases. He has a CPA for a client. Inferences are the conclusions that listeners reach based on the facts. John, the listener surmises, must know what kinds of stories the local paper would be interested in, and he must know which reporter to pitch the story to.

Best/Test answers provide facts and encourage inferences.

By the way, we hope you won’t call your answer to the “What do you do?” question an “elevator speech” or a “30-second commercial.” As we pointed out in Chapter 1, those labels devalue and diminish the very important trust-building and teaching process that goes on in this part of the getting-to-know-you ritual. Your answer is not a commercial; it’s a carefully crafted couple of sentences that you use to spark a conversation and begin to teach your contact about your trustworthiness.

BE INTERESTING

If you hear the comment, “Oh… nice,” when you tell what you do, revise your answer. Aim for the comment, “Tell me more.” When people asked Buford “What do you do?” he used to give his title. It was so long that he had to stop and take a breath in the middle: “I’m director of student financial aid in the student affairs division (gasp) at the University of Missouri-Kansas City.” And people said, “Oh… nice.”

Then he came up another way—a much more interesting way—to put it. He said, “I’m in charge of giving away $32 million a year to students. One student we gave a four-year scholarship to just graduated with honors and came by the office say, ‘Thanks.’” Did people want to hear more? You bet!

Figure 7–1 offers more examples of vivid ways people tell what they do.

Did you notice the use of “we” in the final example in Figure 7–1? As you devise your Best/Test, you may use “I” or “we,” depending on whether you work alone or with a team. Using “we” makes it clear that others were involved. Also, if you’re new in your job and don’t yet have an example of your own expertise to offer, or if your primary goal is to teach people about your organization, not yourself, you can use a team or company example.

TIPS FOR CRAFTING YOUR BEST BEST/TEST

Here are some things to keep in mind as you come up with several interesting and dynamic Best/Test answers to “What do you do?”:

Say the right thing in your Best/Test. Don’t choose being sensational or cute over teaching people what you really want them to know about you. A pharmaceutical saleswoman got people’s attention when she said, “I sell drugs.” But after thinking it over, she decided that was not an image she wanted leave with people. She now says, “I educate doctors about new drugs. Last week I visited a practice of three pediatricians who appreciated understanding more about a new drug for childhood diabetes.”

Tell your talent, not your title. Titles tell where you are on the organization chart, not what you do. Instead, put a movie in the other person’s mind of you in action, you at your best.

Avoid acronyms and jargon. When the person you’re talking with is unfamiliar with your “insider lingo,” he will feel put off. If you want to be remembered, translate jargon and simplify your Best/Test.

Resist the ego trip. If you work for a well-known or prestigious group, resist the urge to wrap yourself up in your organization’s reputation. If you want to include the name of your company (“I’m with Hallmark” or “I’m at the World Bank”) be sure to also include a talent or an example. We guarantee that the name of your organization alone won’t start the conversation you want. And worse yet, you just missed the chance to teach someone about your talents and successes.

Ask a question. A variation on the Best/Test is to answer, “What do you do?” with a question. David, a manager with the Federal Reserve, asks, “Has your bank ever put your money in somebody else’s account?” Whether the listener replies “yes” or “no,” he goes on, “I’m working with banks nationwide to design a system so that won’t ever happen.”

Avoid four errors. As you craft your answers, steer clear of the typical mistakes we see people make. Avoid winging it. Write out your answers and then get them firmly in mind. If you don’t write them, you can’t edit them. Avoid long sentences. Follow the guidelines about the number of words and aim to keep your answer to two sentences—one for your Best talent and one for your Test. Avoid extra words that don’t really need to be there. Edit, edit, edit! Avoid generalities. Make your example very specific. That’s the way to get a picture of you at work in someone else’s mind. And be sure to include an example (your Test). Without an example, you haven’t proved your point or showed your listener you in action.

Frequently Asked Questions

Here are some questions people ask about the Best/Test formula for answering “What do you do?”

Q: Should I not give my title and the name of the company I work for?

A: If you can get into a good conversation, you’ll have plenty of opportunities to mention those things later. Just don’t make that the only feature in your answer.

Beware! In today’s volatile economy, it’s a dangerous thing to fall in love with your title and your company. The pleasure you take in introducing yourself with your title and your company affiliation is an indication of your dependency on them for your self-image. You might find yourself out of work. It’s far better to teach people about your abilities. For instance, you might want them to know that you are an outstanding trainer who knows how to convey complicated technical information. It’s your reputation that will get you your next job, not your current title and company.

Q: What if I wear several hats?

A: Everybody does. That’s why you need to prepare several different Best/Test responses. Select the right one to use depending on whom you are talking to and what you want him to know about you.

For instance, when we are talking to meeting planners, one of us might say, “I get people talking at conventions.” (Best) “I just gave the kickoff keynote on convention networking at the Healthcare Educators annual meeting.” (Test)

Everybody wears several hats, so everybody needs several Best/Tests.

When we are talking to people in professional services, one of us might say, “I help lawyers learn what to do and say to find new clients.” (Best) “I just finished a four-session series of seminars for attorneys at Arnold & Porter.” (Test)

When we’re talking to people in the publishing industry, one of us might say, “I wrote the book on networking.” (Best) “A book club just bought 59,400 copies.” (Test)

Q: Won’t I sound like I’m bragging?

A: Many people in our workshops say, “Oh, I could never say something like that. I’d feel like I was bragging.” But are you? See the “What do you do?” question as an invitation to tell what you’re excited about, working on, or proud of. A lot of it has to do with your delivery. Your body language and tone of voice can show you’re excited about the results you bring for your clients, or the students you serve, or the association members you keep informed.

As the old-time American humorist and storyteller Will Rogers once said, “If you done it, it ain’t braggin’.” If you’re expounding on your new Acura TLX, your private jet, and your house in Fiji, that’s bragging. But if you’re talking about a project you poured your time, talent, and creativity into, that’s not bragging, that’s what people want to hear from you. When you’re asked what you do, the best way to start a conversation is to be enthusiastic and specific about your accomplishments. How else will people learn what to count on you for, what you’re good at, who they should refer to you, and what opportunities they could send your way?

Q: How will I know when I have a good answer to the question, “What do you do?”

A: Ask yourself these three questions:

1. Does my answer give a specific, positive picture of me succeeding, me doing what I want to be known for? Does it teach about my Character, my Competence? Does it show what I want to do more of?

2. Does my answer encourage people to say, “Tell me more?” Does it invite questions and conversation without being maddeningly mysterious? The real estate agent who merely says in her Best, “I’m a miracle worker” is being too cagey. She needs to add “for home buyers.” Her Test can further verify her claim as she says, “I just found a house for a newly married couple—they both use wheelchairs—at a price they can afford in a neighborhood they love.”

3. Do I deliver my answer in an excited, upbeat way, in a tone of voice that expresses my enthusiasm for serving my customers or solving problems, rather than sounding full of myself?

Q: What should I do if the person I’m talking with gives me Cement (her job type), Fog (her title), or the Blob (her industry)?

A: Use questions to draw out specific examples, learn about special expertise, or hear about unique projects. Ask:

“What’s a typical day like in your work?”

“Tell me about a recent project you’ve been working on.”

“What have you been doing this week?”

“What’s your favorite project these days at work?”

Q: I’m in a technical field. I have a Ph.D. I can’t imagine being so folksy—especially when I’m with my peers and everyone is trying to one-up everyone else.

A: It’s okay to use your title or the jargon of your profession if you are speaking to other people in the same specialty. But, be sure to supplement that with a vivid example, so that people have a clear idea of your expertise.

Q: I hate what I do. I’m just an office manager. It’s so boring. I’m trying to change careers. What should I say?

A: If you don’t like what you are doing, don’t talk about it. Instead talk about the five percent of your job you do like or what you have done in the past or what you want to do in the future. Mary described the part of her job she liked the most: “I’m an expert scheduler and organizer.” (Best) “Last year, when my company relocated, I was in charge of the move. It was so exciting to manage every detail of packing an up-and-running office into thousands of boxes and unpacking it back out again in record time and with a minimum of disruption.” (Test) By the way, after using this Best/Test for several months, Mary got a new job as a moving coordinator for a large telecommunications company. She found out about the job in a conversation with someone from the company who responded to her Best/Test with this comment: “Oh, we need you at our company!”

Q: Won’t I need several answers—depending on whom I’m talking to and how well they know my kind of work?

A: Absolutely! We recommend you have four or five answers you’re comfortable giving. One might be for an informal setting such as when you’re at the swimming pool with your kids. One might be used internally to teach others in your organization how your work ties to their work or contributes to the bottom line. Another might be used at a conference to guide the conversation toward talking about a particular job challenge. Kim said, “I’m the expert in doing more with less at the agricultural extension office in Wichita. As our budget shrinks, my job grows. Are you facing the same problem?”

Q: How can I keep my answers to “What do you do?” from sounding stilted or canned? People aren’t used to hearing something this long or detailed; they expect a simple job title.

A: True. A Best/Test answer will set you apart from the crowd—and that’s exactly what you want. Say your answer with enthusiasm and as if you know the listener will be interested. Practice it until you know it as well as you know your own name. Your answer shouldn’t sound like “resume talk.” Keep the language conversational and jargon free so it flows off your tongue easily. Watch for people’s reactions and modify your answers until you get the reactions you want.

Why Storytelling Works

The skill of storytelling appears in a small way in the short example you give when you answer “What do you do?” Storytelling also plays a bigger role as a trust-building and relationship-building tool. To teach people to trust you, tell stories that reveal your Character and Competence. To build relationships, tell stories that make you—and your experiences—memorable.

Storytelling is essential because most people won’t be there when you have your shining moments. If you want them to know how good you are at turning around a bad situation, or what an ingenious solution you came up with, or how you triumphed in a crisis, or how you persisted until you reached your goal, you’ll have to tell them. Stories bring your experiences to life. They stick in the mind, so your contacts can repeat them as they talk about you, advocate for you, even recommend you to others. Stories flesh out bare facts and are more convincing. Stories create an emotional connection between you and your listener.

Stories bring your experiences to life.

Notice in the following story that Ned’s opening question might have been a little sarcastic. Notice how Aaron changed the tone of the conversation without reacting to his manager’s comment.

“Have a nice vacation?” asked Ned the day after a big snowstorm had shut down the agency for a day. Aaron said, “Sure did. I decided to tackle a big project—lining up the speakers for next fall’s Partnering Conference. Earlier, when I’d tried to call the presenters I had on my list, their phones always went to voicemail. I figured if I was stuck at home, they probably were too. I was right. I talked to all five of them and got commitments from four. They were able to shoot me their bios immediately, so I even got that part of the program written. What a productive day! Then I took my son sledding.”

What did Aaron teach about himself? He didn’t take the day off. He used the weather situation to his advantage. He made headway on a big project. He made time for his son. His story taught Ned a lot about Aaron’s Character and Competence.

With practice, you can identify, write, and tell stories that teach who you are, what to come to you for, what you’re good at, what kinds of opportunities to send your way, and what to count on you for. Sometimes you’ll tell a story that highlights your successes; sometimes your story might be about your team’s or your organization’s success.

FIND A STORY

To start the process, ask yourself, “What would I like to teach people about me?” Think of a capability or talent you want others to know about. What point do you want to make? Do you want people to know that you’re a stickler for details? That you’re creative? That you’re compassionate? That you can be tough when the going gets tough? That you know a lot about designing optimal learning environments?

Then look for something that’s happened that can serve as an example of one of those things. What event have you been part of that you could turn into a story?

Think about:

   Successes at work and in life.

   Situations that brought out your best.

   Moments of surprise, delight, and outstanding results.

   Times when you faced a challenge or had a problem to solve.

   What others find unique and interesting about you, your job, or your life.

Remember your goals. If, for example, your goal is to teach that your bank has special programs for small businesses, tell a story about a specific small business that used your loan program to expand. If your goal is to teach your contacts that you enjoy pulling together a group of people from diverse backgrounds to come up with creative solutions to marketing problems, tell a story about a time you did just that.

KNOW THE 5-S STORY FORMULA

To create the very best stories, use this formula:

Segue + Situation + SNAFU + Solution + Significance

The Segue is a transition sentence. It signals that you have something to say; it gets you into the story; it bridges from the previous topic; it introduces your topic in a general way. “I’ve been meaning to tell you.…” Or, “Something happened that reminded me of you. …” Or, “Remember your experience in Berlin? Well, here’s what happened to me there.” Or, “We, too, have lots of social media initiatives springing up at our company.”

The Situation briefly sets the scene and gives the time, place, and who’s involved.

The SNAFU is the challenge or problem you had to solve or what you had to overcome. (SNAFU is military jargon for Situation Normal, All “Fouled” Up.)

The Solution is the turnaround, the dramatic highlight of the story—how you solved the problem. It provides the energy that makes the story memorable and exciting.

The Significance is the positive impact it had on you, or others, or your organization.

As you tell your 5-S story, bring it to life with an energetic tone of voice. Use gestures and animated facial expressions.

SARAH’S STORY

Let’s see how using the 5-S formula works. Here’s what Sarah put together.

Segue: “I never thought as an engineer I’d spend the day with 100 sixth graders!”

Situation: “Last week was the ‘Wow! That’s Engineering!’ day I coordinated for our Society of Women Engineers’ Chapter and Lincoln Labs at Massachusetts Institute of Technology.”

SNAFU: “I was worried. What can we possibly do with 100 young girls to get them interested in careers in science and engineering?”

Solution: “Then it hit me—lip gloss! So, our SWE members showed them how engineers came up with the shiny lip goop. We mixed up a batch, and the girls took little pots of it home.”

Significance: “One girl said to me as she left, ‘I thought engineering was boring. But, this was sooooo cool. Thanks!’”

LINDA’S STORY

And Linda? Here’s her story:

Segue: “I’ve been meaning to tell you what happened on the first night of the conference.”

Situation: “I was just settling into my hotel room when Dan, my sales manager, called.”

SNAFU: “He said that his wife was in labor (two weeks early!), and he wouldn’t be able to stay and give his presentation. The organizers had told me when I checked in that 125 people were signed up for his session. He and I had written that presentation together, so I was very familiar with it.”

Solution: “All of a sudden I heard myself saying, ‘How about if I sub for you? I’ve got 24 hours to get ready.’ Dan said, ‘Great. You can do it. Go for it!’”

“For the next three hours I practiced the presentation in front of the mirror in my room. The next morning I checked the room setup, and told the organizers that Dan had had a family emergency, so I’d be filling in.”

Significance: “My presentation went off without a hitch. Afterwards almost a third of the audience asked for information about our new product. Dan had told me if only 10 percent did that we’d be doing well, so I was very excited to tell him the news—after he told me about his new baby daughter!”

CAMERON’S STORY

Segue: “I’ve been working in a tent!”

Situation: “The engineering firm I work for got a contract to do soil analysis around the levees in New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina.”

SNAFU: “We knew we had to process about 630 tons of soil from a 350 mile radius in just three weeks.”

Solution: “There was no time to find a good facility, so we set up our soils testing laboratory in a parking lot in a huge tent I rented from a wedding supply company.”

Significance: “There were two things that made me want to finish that project in record time. One was that it was 99 degrees in that tent. Believe me—we measured it! The second was that when I looked out of the tent, all I could see were rows and rows of trailers where flooded out people were living. I told my team, ‘The quicker we do our part and turn in our report, the quicker the levees can be rebuilt and these people can get back into real homes.’”

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: What if I can’t think of any stories?

A: Challenge yourself to notice the moments in your life that you’d like to tell others about. Look for experiences in your leisure and professional life that will show who you are. Listen carefully as others tell stories from their lives. Notice that, for the most part, they are talking about everyday events. Don’t think you’ve got to have earthshaking stories—like about stopping a runaway train, or winning Best Actor at the Oscars. Just look for times that brought out your best or would illustrate your Character and Competence. Jot down ideas when things happen, so you can hang on to your thoughts until you get a chance to write them out and edit them.

Q: How can I get into my story? When do I tell it?

A: Look for a lull in the conversation. Or tell your story in response to “How are you?” or “What’s new?” Think of a Segue, a transition sentence that alerts the listener you’re about to tell a story.

Q: What are some tips for shaping my story and making it fun to listen to?

A: Relive the moment with relish. Craft your story so it paints a vivid picture. The best stories do several things. They reveal your interests, challenges, and talents so that people have an expanded idea of what to call on you for or what to send your way. And they are memorable enough that the listener could repeat them to others with some degree of accuracy. Ask yourself, “Would I want to listen to my story?” Practice it several times, so you get to the point quickly.

Good stories have a turnaround—a moment when you had to do something, come up with a solution, solve a problem. Think of the childhood formula for a good story: “Once upon a time… Suddenly… Luckily… Happily ever after.…” If there’s not a “happily ever after,” can you at least point to a lesson learned?

Q: Won’t people think I’m grandstanding or hotdogging if I tell a story?

A: No. Good conversationalists know how to pepper their conversation with brief, interesting vignettes about who they are and the experiences they’ve had. Most people won’t be there to see you at your best—how you captured your audience as you spoke at the conference even though the fire alarm went off in the middle of your presentation, or how you survived a camping trip with a dozen eight-year-olds. Think of your story as a gift to the conversation because it offers your conversational partner clues about what topics to bring up next, how to help you, or how to introduce you to others.

“A few years ago,” a sports columnist wrote, “I followed Norm Stewart, Mizzou’s legendary basketball coach, out of a party. He was stopped by 10 different people. He made every one of those people feel like the most special person in the world. His secret? Always have a good story to tell.”

Q: What if I accidentally tell my story to the same person twice? Or what if someone overhears me telling the same story? That will be embarrassing!

A: Build a repertoire of stories. Find and tell a new one every week until you have stockpiled enough that you can choose to tell the one that fits the situation or your conversation partner.

Q: What if everything I do is classified or I work in a profession where confidentiality is very important?

A: If your work is classified, talk about your role in a generic enough way to meet your organization’s guidelines. To respect client confidentiality, disguise the particulars or combine several clients’ experiences into one.

Telling a story, whether it’s a brief example in your Best/Test or a fully developed 5-S narrative, is an essential networking competency in the Network-Oriented Workplace. Storytelling turns a spotlight on your—or your organization’s—success. And it’s a skill that you can use and enjoy not only at work, but also in your personal life. One executive taught his teenagers the 5-S formula and found that, finally, he got interesting stories when he asked, “So what’s new at school?”

Storytelling turns a spotlight on success.