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Listening Styles and How Using Them Effectively Helps You to Engage an Executive

IN UNDERSTANDING THE listening styles of individuals, including your sponsor, we have to first go back to the basics of communication itself.

Figure 7.1: Common Elements for All Communications

As Figure 7.1 shows, the most common process for communication to occur involves encoding and decoding. A speaker encodes an idea or information using the language that is common to both people. This communication can be in oral or written form. The listener then decodes the message for understanding. If the listener is not certain about the meaning, then he gives the speaker feedback, and the back-and-forth continues. On the face of it, that may sound simple, but it is really quite complex once you begin to dig deeper.

Basics for Communication

For example, the language used for business around the world is English. That is good news for me because I do not speak any other language well enough to conduct business in it. And I admire people who speak more than one language. Now let me illustrate how even that can be complicated.

I was working on the project plan for a major project in Romania. The project team members were people from three countries: Romania, Russia, and Serbia. Because of that, the only language they had in common was English. But consider for a moment that for all of them, including my sponsor, English was a second language. Please keep in mind that the project was highly technical in nature. I had to be very aware during the discussions to ensure that everyone understood the tasks and activities the same way. My method for doing that was to continually seek feedback to check for common understanding.

During projects I have led with team members from the United Kingdom, there was no guarantee of common understanding even though the Americans and British share English as their first language.

Furthermore, people may “check out” during long meetings. The U.S. Navy Air Warfare Center Training Systems Division did a study to find out how well people listen. They discovered that most people focus for about 18 minutes attentively, and then their focus diminishes. The other interesting fact the Navy learned was that people remembered about only 25% of what they heard if they did not take notes or have some form of recording the discussion.

Understanding that finding reminds me that, when I am in discussions with my sponsor, I have to be very aware of the potential for him to lose focus. Several of my colleagues believe that their executives all suffer from some form of attention deficit disorder (ADD), but I really believe that what they are experiencing is this built-in focus issue. So how do we handle that?

Listening Styles

First of all, Kittie Watson, PhD, and Larry Barker, PhD, have done some great work in helping people understand the listening styles that people employ. The styles they identify are:

People-oriented: They are concerned with how people will react.

Action-oriented: They want someone to get to the point quickly.

Content-oriented: They value technical information and data.

Time-oriented: They are very conscious of time, particularly wasting time.¹

Each of these listening styles has both strengths and weaknesses. Let’s look at each of them in more detail.

PEOPLE-ORIENTED LISTENERS

ACTION-ORIENTED LISTENERS

CONTENT-ORIENTED LISTENERS

TIME-ORIENTED LISTENERS

Does Everyone Use Only One Style?

The reality is that most people have a preferred style. Circumstances may cause any individual to adopt a different style for a time. For example, I had a sponsor who was very much a time-oriented listener. However, I saw him suppress that tendency when we were having a discussion with the person he reported to in the company.

Likewise, a normally content-oriented listener might seem to adopt a time-oriented approach if time pressures are related to a discussion.

How Do I Apply This Information?

You may be thinking about how to apply this information, and the answer to that question is very important. Obviously, the first application is to assess whom you are speaking to and work to match your verbal style to her listening style.

Purpose of the Communication

When most people think about speaking and listening in a business context, they think only of one purpose for the communication: the exchange of information. However, there are actually three other purposes for speaking, and it is important to recognize them too (see Figure 7.2):

Figure 7.2: Purposes of Communication

1.Phatic communication focuses on building relationships and often involves what most people call small talk. “How was your weekend? . . . How is the family?” It is the way we understand common interests and connections.

2.Cathartic communication focuses on the release of emotions. The root of the word comes from Greek and means “venting.” It is the communication where emotions, such as frustration or disappointment, are released. Most of the time, people are not looking for a conversation; they are just trying to get something off their chest.

3.Finally, persuasive communication focuses on influencing or motivating someone to act. This is the highest level of communication and the most difficult. However, when we are working with our sponsor on issues or topics related to the project, we are usually attempting to persuade and motivate him to act on our behalf. If that is true, then how do you persuade him?

Target

The first consideration is recognizing the listening style of the sponsor and other key stakeholders. Face it, you typically are not going to persuade someone to act by sending an e-mail or writing a report. You will need to handle that face-to-face if you mean to succeed. First of all, analyze the listening style of the person you are talking to so that you can better influence her regarding the project. You may follow up with something in writing with other details if they are important.

Potential Barriers

Sensitivities and barriers are also important to consider in working with your sponsor. One that I have often faced is simply finding time in my sponsor’s busy schedule. Often I need to talk to him about various issues or progress but he is traveling. Many of my sponsors have been part of global companies, so travel may involve time zone differences that require me to be considerate in how I schedule communication. In some of my projects, my sponsor has been literally halfway around the world on business. There is no convenient time in reality. In those situations, I try to think about the time zone they are in and schedule something that will work better for them than for me. Along the same line, on some projects, my sponsor has been in the Middle East where there is also a different work week. Working with your sponsor in advance can help you manage those situations.

Details

Part of working with your sponsor will be striking the correct balance related to details. I have worked with sponsors who are very interested in the details—more than I would have guessed at the beginning. Others have been more inclined to simply want the high-level information and want details only when there are issues or problems. One technique that I have used in the past has been to ask at the beginning of the project exactly how detailed they want me to get in communicating with them. This also relates to the type of listener they are. For example, as already mentioned, one sponsor would always ask me the same question related to decisions: “Who will be mad at me if we do this?” As you can probably guess, this was a people-oriented listener, and I quickly realized that should be part of any conversation related to a decision or issue.

Jargon and Acronyms

We all know that business is full of jargon and acronyms. So is project management. Be very sensitive to using either jargon or acronyms when talking with your sponsor. As an example, in one automation project I led, without really thinking about it, I started using some jargon that was very common in the IT and data world. I did not find out until a little later that my sponsor did not know what I was referring to with that language. I found out after we had built a good relationship that she was a little embarrassed to tell me she did not know what I meant. Naturally, I felt badly and vowed to watch my use of jargon and acronyms in the future, not just with her but in all future projects. I have also found that I was using project management jargon that was not understood by some of my key stakeholders. For example, I would make a remark about the WBS (work breakdown statement). Now all of you reading this book probably know exactly what that means, but these key stakeholders did not.

So as you plan your discussions with the sponsor or other key stakeholders, work very hard to avoid that pitfall. I would also encourage you to discuss that with your sponsors as you are building your relationship. Let them know that you might, unwittingly, start using jargon that they are unfamiliar with and that they should ask for clarification if it ever happens.

Formal versus Informal

As you are working with your sponsor and learning their listening style, it is also helpful to learn how formal they like their discussions to be. I have had sponsors who preferred to sit in the cafeteria and discuss the project over coffee. I have had others who wanted any discussions related to the project to be in their office with the doors closed. Of course, certain situations require a closed-door meeting, but some of my sponsors just preferred that venue regardless of the topic.

If you have a sponsor who is less formal, you must still be vigilant that people do not eavesdrop on your conversation if you are in, say, the break room.

Points to Remember

Remember the basics for any communication.

Assess the listening style of your sponsor and key stakeholders.

Apply both of these points in communicating about your project.

Consider how formal your communication needs to be.