Two years ago one of my clients, Pete, a software designer, was at a barbecue hosted by the alumni group of his wife’s alma mater. He got to chatting with Henry, one of his wife’s classmates. Henry is in the technology industry too, and Pete knew him socially. The two of them always had a lot to casually talk about when they saw one another.

A few weeks after the barbecue, Pete’s wife ran into Henry, who mentioned that there was a position opening up at his company. She suggested to Pete that he follow up with Henry about the job, but Pete was hesitant. He wasn’t crazy about his job but he was satisfied enough with it, and he didn’t want Henry to think he was imposing or being presumptuous. At his wife’s gentle nudging Pete finally did reach out to Henry, and interviewed for the position. He landed the job, which he’s thrilled with. Today Pete chairs an industry association of software designers that Henry is also a part of, and the two frequently collaborate on projects for their company and the organization.

Once you’ve had the initial conversation, and perhaps even multiple interactions, and established an authentic connection based on likability, what happens next? How do you move past the handshake or the friendly industry chitchat over burgers and beers at a barbecue?

This section is about how to maintain contact so that there continue to be opportunities for our connections to flourish and grow. It can be easy to brush off what happens after the conversation. We may feel as if we don’t have a reason to reach out, or have nothing substantive to say to the person in a follow-up message, or we’re simply too swamped to take the time to do it. But following up is a key part of building meaningful relationships. In the next three chapters we’ll learn effective methods for staying in someone’s mind, following up on the conversation, offering value, and inevitably learning how to be patient. Transforming an acquaintance into a relationship takes time.