1. Review and give examples of the nonverbal and verbal behaviors of an active listener using the following examples:

• Nonverbal Behaviors: nod, eye contact, non-word comments (uh-huh, umm), smile, eye expression, forward lean, open, uncrossed arms and legs
• Verbal Behaviors: probing questions (“How did you arrive at that?” or “Why did your boss allow this?”), brief comments that support and encourage (“Oh?” “Tell me more.” “I see.” “Wow, no kidding?” “That’s interesting.” “Indeed!”)

2. Draw a large “No Advice” sign on your blackboard, whiteboard, or flip chart in the format of the universally understood red circle with a line through it like a no smoking sign. Remember to write only the word Advice and then circle it and draw a line through it, like this.

3. Allow the group to select partners and determine who will be the speaker and who will be the listener.

4. Tell those in the listener’s role to ask their speaker partners just one question, “What’s on your mind today?” Advise the listener that his or her job is to actively listen using the simple techniques provided at the beginning of this activity. Explain that the listener may provide absolutely no advice, or stories, or feedback of his or her own. For example, saying something like, “Yeah, that happened to me, too,” is not allowed.

5. Allow 3 to 5 minutes for the conversation then call time and ask the partners to switch listener and speaker roles using the same question prompt.

6. Allow 3 to 5 minutes for the second interaction before beginning a debriefing.

7. Debrief by asking the participants to describe the experience from the perspective of both the listener and the speaker. You will likely find a mix of reactions. Some participants will say they enjoyed the experience of being paid attention to and understood. For others, the roles will be uncomfortable. Stress that listening skills are learned, developed, and perfected only with time and practice. Initiate a discussion of when this type of listening may not be appropriate and ask for suggestions on appropriate times to practice listening skills again.

1. Ask participants to choose partners and select a set of the back-to-back chairs you have set up beforehand. Give participants each a clipboard and pen or pencil.

2. Assign activity roles. Explain that one person in each of the pairs is the art instructor charged with providing instructions. The other person is the artist who will draw what the instructor describes. Say that the roles in this activity will be determined alphabetically: “The initial letter of the participant’s first name and its position in the alphabet will determine the role of the instructor.” Give an example if necessary, for example, if the participants are named Allen and John, Allen would be the instructor.

3. Tell the pairs that the artist cannot ask questions, and neither the art instructor nor the artist may look at each other or see each other’s papers during the activity.

4. Give each instructor a different image and tell the art instructors they have 5 minutes to describe what their artist partners must draw based solely on their powers of description.

5. Allow 5 minutes, then stop the activity and ask the instructors to look at what the artists drew, based on their instructions.

6. Ask the pairs to switch roles so that the instructor is the artist and the artist the instructor.

7. Next, collect the clip art images from all the participants and shuffle them. Redistribute the images ensuring each pair is working with a different image.

8. Begin the activity again with the new instructors giving directions to the new artists.

9. Allow another 5 minutes, then stop the activity. Ask the new instructors to look at what the new artists drew based on their instructions.

10. Allow a few minutes for the pairs to examine the results. Debrief the activity using questions such as these:

• What happened? Why?
• What does this tell us about communication?
• What worked well?
• What prevented you from communicating better?
• What could you have done differently?
• When does this happen back at our workplace?
• What will you do differently as a result of this activity?
• Summarize by adding:
  • When the people involved in the communication are not fully engaged, a breakdown in communication is likely.
  • If you communicate by phone or email, this breakdown in communication is even more likely because the element of seeing what the other person is talking about is missing.
  • State that good communication requires work on both sides.

1. Ask participants how many of them think they are excellent listeners. Acknowledge the few participants who raise their hands. Ask all participants to find partners and form a pair for the activity.

2. If the number of participants is odd, assign the extra person to be the observer.

3. Once everyone is settled, explain that one person in each pair must choose either number 1 or number 2 as an identifier. Ask the pairs to determine who will be identified as number 1 or number 2.

4. Find an area in the room large enough to gather all those participants identified as number 1 and ask this group to gather in the space you’ve selected. Make sure that the number 2 participants cannot hear the instructions you will give to the number 1 participants.

5. Once the number 1 participants have gathered, explain that their job during the activity is to tell their number 2 partners stories about something they have read, heard, or experienced. Emphasize that their storytelling must sound very confident and convincing, even though they will have no more than a couple of minutes to think of their stories while you are giving the activity instructions to their number 2 counterparts. Note: If you have an observer, that person observes while you give instructions to both groups.

6. Dismiss the number 1 participants to think of stories to tell and gather all the number 2 participants together in a place where the number 1 participants cannot hear you giving instructions.

7. Explain to the number 2’s that the number 1’s will tell them stories as part of the activity. Tell the number 2’s that their job is to model a behavior that demonstrates poor listening skills. Give each number 2 participant a Listening Card that lists one of the poor listening behaviors from your list. Explain that their role during the activity is to model the behaviors written on their cards while their partners tell them stories.

8. Dismiss the number 2 participants and direct the two groups to find their partners to begin the activity. Once the pairs have reconnected, tell the participants they have 10 minutes to complete the activity following the instructions they were given. Start the activity.

9. While the participants tell stories, walk around the room. Observe their reactions and reinforce instructions individually if needed.

10. After 10 minutes, tell the participants to go back to their original seats for a large group discussion. Debrief the activity, noting what you observed while the participants worked. Use questions such as the following to review the learning:

• Number 1’s: What was your experience telling the story and how did you feel?
• Number 2’s: What role did you play, and how did you feel during the activity? How would you describe your partner’s response to your behavior?
• How many of you have been in a situation in which you wanted to communicate and you knew the other person was not listening to you? Explain how that felt.
• How many of you have been accused of not listening before coming to this session? Who would be willing share an example?
• How can you relate these simulations to real-life situations inside or outside your workplace?
• How will you use this information in the future?

11. Close the activity by talking about the importance of active listening, using the Do’s and Don’ts handout as a basis for discussion.

Do

• Pay attention, show interest, and display curiosity.
• Listen for tone of voice and inflection.
• Show that you are listening through your posture and by nodding your head.
• Provide supportive feedback.
• Defer judgment.
• Respond appropriately.
• Allow the speaker time to find the right words.
• Summarize to ensure the speaker that you understand.
• Ask clarifying questions to help you understand.
• Paraphrase to ensure you understand correctly.
• Concentrate and find relationships within the message.
• Connect with the speaker by making good eye contact.
• Respond verbally with positive responses such as “yes,” “I see,” or “I understand.”
• Acknowledge the speaker’s feelings.

Do Not

• Interrupt.
• Say “yes, but.”
• Complete the speaker’s sentences.
• Assume you know what the speaker is going to say.
• Show your impatience.
• Be judgmental.
• Be critical of the delivery.
• Provide evaluative feedback.

Which of these is easiest for you to do?

Which are most difficult?

1. Invite the participants to form a circle. You are a part of the circle and will lead the activity from that position.

2. Hold up an imaginary ball and mimic its size (about the size of a tennis ball) using your thumb and index finger. Introduce the imaginary ball to the group as the “Yellow Ball.”

3. Explain that as part of the activity you will toss the “Yellow Ball” to someone else in the circle and that the person you select to catch the “Yellow Ball” must say “Yellow Ball. Thank you.” Further explain that the person who receives the “Yellow Ball” must then throw the ball to someone else in the circle and call out “Yellow Ball” when he or she tosses it to the next person.

4. Demonstrate throwing the “Yellow Ball” to someone in the circle. Call out “Yellow Ball” as you mimic tossing it.

5. Tell the participants that there is no pattern to the tossing of the ball and give the group a couple of minutes to practice tossing the ball around the circle.

6. After the imaginary “Yellow Ball” has been tossed for a while, shout, “Freeze.” Ask the person who has the “Yellow Ball” to hold onto it.

7. Introduce another imaginary “Red Ball” and explain that it is a little bit bigger in size. Toss the “Red Ball” to someone in the circle and call out, “Red Ball.” The person catching the “Red Ball” should respond “Red Ball. Thank you.” before throwing it to someone else in the circle who follows the tossing pattern established for the “Yellow Ball.”

8. Signal to the person who was last holding the yellow ball to toss it to another person in the circle. Now there are two balls in motion, both being identified as they are tossed to participants in the large circle.

9. After 2 minutes of activity shout, “Freeze.” Ask the people who currently have the “Yellow Ball” and “Red Ball” to hold them up.

10. Introduce another imaginary object that will be tossed around in the same manner. Chose something of a different size, shape, and weight. The object may be anything—typewriter, glass of water, Samurai sword, baby, greased pig, anvil, or even an octopus. The point is to make it fun and to give the participants a visual cue to focus on. Note: Make sure whatever items you choose are big enough to be “seen” (visualized) by the group.

11. Pause and introduce new items to the game periodically. Depending on the size of the group, a total of five to seven imaginary items might be flying through the air during the activity.

12. If the group is having difficulty keeping track of who is supposed to be catching or tossing the imaginary items, pause and ask, “What would make this activity easier?” Possible answers might include:

• Eye contact (important for active listening)
• Saying the person’s name before throwing (Is your audience ready for your message?)
• Looking for someone who was open (Is this a good time to deliver your message?)
• Acknowledgement/feedback of the message by saying what item you received and “thank you” (Repeating or paraphrasing the message; checking for understanding)

13. Restart the activity once you have addressed the group’s concerns and allow the activity to continue before calling out “freeze” again.

14. Debrief the activity using questions such as these:

• What made the activity easier for you?
• How were you able to accomplish the task?
• What made the activity challenging?
• How was catching or holding more than one item at a time like communicating (multi-tasking prevents active listening)?
• How was finding someone open like communicating (getting your message heard and timing your message)?
• How can confusion affect communication (not focused on the big picture)?
• How was the introduction of more items like communication in the workplace (difficult to be an active listener with a lot of distractions)?

15. Summarize by asking: Do you feel like this activity mirrors your job (or life), having to juggle so many messages and activities? How do you deal with this in your workday so you can remain effective? Possible responses include:

• Make sure the timing is right when delivering important information.
• Maintain eye contact.
• Focus on the message.
• Give feedback to show I am listening.
• Handle one thing at a time.
• Prioritize.

1. Ask participants how many can tell what mood someone is in just by talking to him or her on the phone? Ask how soon they can make this determination? After a few responses, state that this activity will allow them to conduct their own smile experiment. Ask them to stand up and find partners for the activity.

2. Explain that one person in each pair will be Participant A and the other Participant B. Say that Participant A is the person with the first letter of his or her first name closest to the letter Z. The other person is Participant B.

3. Hand out the sheets of paper you have prepared to every participant.

4. Tell the pairs to stand back-to-back.

5. Tell all the A participants that they will have three opportunities to read the sentence you passed out with either a smile or a frown on their faces. Tell the A participants that their job is to trick the B participants into guessing incorrectly as to which expression they wore while reading the printed sentence. Remind the B participants to listen carefully and to track the number of correct guesses.

6. Once the participants are properly spaced in back-to-back position, begin the experiment.

7. After a few minutes, stop the action and ask A and B partners to switch roles. Start the experiment again. Remind the A participants to listen carefully and to track the number of correct guesses.

8. When everyone has completed the activity, summarize with a couple of questions such as the ones below:

• How many times were you correct? Why were you able to guess correctly?
• What does this tell us about communication?
• What role did listening play in your ability to determine whether your partner was smiling or frowning?
• Why is this important to you in the workplace?