I just want my career to be run a certain way. When you get the sense it’s not, that your voice is not being heard, then, unfortunately, you have to do certain things to make a stand to fight what you believe in, even if you do have to sacrifice time.
—Andre Ward
Ask any manager of any organization as to what gets in the way of performance and organizational effectiveness and in the top five will be communication. Investigate the artifacts of communication and you will notice that there is a lot of communication going on in the business and between individuals; meetings, presentations, newsletters, e-mails, phone calls, internal and external marketing campaigns, and memos. The issue is not so much the lack of communication in the organization, but the lack of appreciation that dialogue and discussion are dynamic processes. Communication isn’t something that is a task to be completed, but is a continuous process, which should be used to build and strengthen relationships throughout the business. That dynamism can be used to bridge gaps, resolve conflicts, spark creativity, invite innovation, solve problems, and inspire collaboration.
Dialogue and discussion processes provide the foundation to create opportunities for people to engage with the organization and with each other, and it is this engagement that is the powerhouse behind developing the adaptable and flexible capability required for sustainable individual and organizational performance. Dialogue is different from exchanging one-way communication messages. It is a process that requires the sharing of perspectives, experience, issues, and opportunities. It isn’t about who is right, or who is wrong. It is not about judgment or decision-making, but rather about understanding and learning, which, in turn, helps the change-management process. Too often in our personal and organizational communication, whether an e-mail, report, or a presentation, the aim is not to be in dialogue with someone but to complete a task; we are broadcasting rather than exchanging, sending a message rather than listening.
Dialogue Improves the Decision-Making Process
There is a mistaken assumption that if you open up dialogue and invite participation, nothing will get done. However, if change is to take place, existing mental models need to be put to one side, a growth mind set needs to take center stage, and people need to be open to different perspectives that may be very different from their own. But, I hear you cry, decisions do still need to be made. Dialogue is what will help to shape the discussion that, in turn, will enable everyone to have their voices heard. Different viewpoints can be debated to tackle issues and conflicts in a new way, which isn’t restricted by interpersonal or political influences. It isn’t the case that inviting dissenting voices leads to disharmony, instead it creates a space for people to come together, and share in the decision-making processes. In the long term, it can reduce resistance and conflict, enhance relationships, develop agility, and improve the decision-making process. Engaging people to interact in the process of dialogue positively is a skill that can be learned, and one that is essential to ensure that issues can be moved forward and individuals with their own problems and issues can come together to find common ground.
There are five stages to fostering dynamic dialogue and discussion in your organization:
- Get to know the issues and the stakeholders.
- Establish ground rules and agreements regarding the dialogue and discussion process.
- Share personal stories and perspectives enquiring about ‘how’ the issue affects each participant rather than focusing on solving the problem with a ‘what should be done’ approach.
- Explore ALL views, listening, reasoning, and being thoughtful about how the participants can act together.
- Decide upon next steps and make recommendations on how to implement the output of the discussion.
The key to dynamic dialogue and discussion is to create a space where the collective wisdom of the concerned stakeholders can be transformed into achievable decisions founded on agreed common ground. Everyone involved in the dialogue needs to take ownership for the process and the end result, as such everyone has a role to play and must add their voice to the situation. As explored in Chapter 9, questions are the key to great dialogue, alongside which all parties involved must be willing to work toward goals, which are mutually beneficial. There are a number of questions that are beneficial to a dialogue group aimed at focusing attention on developing an ongoing process of participative exchange. For example:
- What question could I ask that would make the most difference to this situation, now and in the future?
- What is it about this situatioplaints and recommendatin that makes it important to you and why do you care about the decisions that are made about it?
- What is our intention in finding an outcome? What is the real purpose that makes this the outcomes of dialogue worthwhile?
- What do we already know? What do we still need to learn?
- What are the opportunities and dilemmas about this situation, which affect the way we will make a decision about what action to take?
- What assumptions are we making? How can we test those assumptions to ensure our perception is aligned with fact?
- What would someone, who has a different belief say about this situation?
While we are in dialogue with other people, it is essential that we play our part in creating a positive environment in which discussion can flow. This means that we need to listen to what others say, being present in the moment, and not simply waiting for a pause in breath before we dive in with our thoughts and ideas. Listen to the words, watch body language, and try to understand the perspective being shared, even if you disagree with it. Take stock of what the interests and aspirations are of the people you are in dialogue with, even if you fundamentally disagree with what they represent, take time to understand what motivations, fears, concerns, and hope lie behind their position; in all likelihood, they are the same as yours. Also focus on the positives, the areas where you do agree, where there is common cause, and where action can be taken. As explored in Career Tool #11, focus on what you can own and influence instead of worrying about what you cannot do anything about.
Manage Your Career Tool #11 – Daily Temperature Reading
Adapted from Satir (1972)
The Daily Temperature Reading (DTR) was developed by Virginia Satir (1978) as a way of helping people communicate in a clear and effective way. Although the DTR model was developed to help families and partners, it is an especially helpful framework to use with colleagues at work to drive dynamic dialogue and discussion. The model introduces five areas, which it suggests should be kept current and alive between individuals in a relationship.
- Appreciations
- New information
- Puzzles
- Complaints and recommendations
- Wishes, hopes, and dreams
The idea is that a DTR is done regularly to improve dialogue and discussion throughout the organization, and especially with individuals who have a project or work that rely on good communication. Sit down together and work through each of the five tasks in sequence. To begin with, the process and the dialogue might feel stilted and awkward, but with practice, it becomes an important ritual in establishing honest dialogue between individuals.
Express appreciation for something that your colleague has done. Take this time to thank each other for how your actions and behavior have helped move the project or work forward, and also helped on a personal level.
Share new information with your colleague or in the absence of information, some assumptions you may be working with. Tell your colleague something which lets them know your mood, for example, “I’m not looking forward to the reaction to the report we submitted,” and your experience. Then listen to what your colleague has to share.
This segment provides an opportunity to ask about any aspect of the work or project that you don’t understand. Take turns asking your colleague to explain something such as “Why were the sales figures down last week?” Or take the opportunity to voice a question about yourself: “I don’t know why I find it so difficult to work with the Finance team.” The DTR session may not provide you with the answer you are looking for, but it will provide your colleague with some insight into what is going on with you. It also gives them the opportunity to share any insight they may have about your current situation or experiences.
Task 4 – Complaint, with a Request for Change
This stage is not about placing blame or passing judgment. Instead provide insight into a specific behavior that bothers you and state the behavior you are asking for instead. “If you’re not going to be able to prepare for a meeting, please call me. That way I can make a decision about whether the meeting needs to go ahead or whether it needs to be postponed to give you time to collate the information and avoid a situation where no decisions can be made."
Sharing hopes and dreams is integral to a relationship. Hopes can range from the mundane “I hope you don’t miss your train” to the grandiose “I’d really love it if we manage to get sign off for the new office building". The purpose of this segment is that you will all bring dreams into immediate awareness and in doing so creating an environment where you are the more likely to find a way to realize them.