CONCLUSION: FINAL THOUGHTS

My purpose for writing this book was to help you pinpoint your talents and skills and then market them to employers, so that you feel in control of your career, both now and in the future. Although I sketched out specific guidelines, recommendations, and steps, remember that career development doesn't move in a straight path. Job search and career advancement demand that you take risks, expand your skills, and learn from your mistakes while accepting the unpredictable nature of the job market and workplace. This is a road that may be fraught with fear, doubt, and cold feet, but don't take setbacks personally, as introverts tend to do. Keep in mind that this journey, bolstered with new skills and a deeper understanding of self, is one that ultimately leads to personal growth and reward.

After facing my own challenges, I have been consistently reassured by the ways in which my introverted qualities add value to my life and work. Rather than feeling inferior for shying away from occasional events or for not promoting myself as vigorously as I could, I am at peace with the quietly reflective colorations of my introversion. At the same time, I have been surprised at the benefits I've gained from efforts to lean into extroversion: establishing new and refreshing relationships, engaging in public speaking, and taking on exciting leadership opportunities.

It might have been easier if someone had coaxed me out of my cocooning tendencies earlier in my career. But any regrets over opportunities I failed to seize were far overshadowed by the eventual discovery of my own path: the rich experience of helping clients build up their own confidence and venture out to reach their full potential.

Much has been written about the role played by resilience and the powerful impact of hope in helping people accept and adjust to the inevitable changes that life has in store for them. I would like to leave you with some deeper insight into how the two allies of resilience and hope can help you maintain optimism and continue looking ahead to a successful future in a rapidly changing world.

Resilience

It is natural to have a healthy uncertainty about the future and stay alert to the shadows that may appear around the corner. Finding ways to adjust when thrown a curveball and having the ability to bounce back are essential to managing your career. So accept failure and mistakes without tearing yourself apart. Resilience acts as the CPR that brings you back to life from any adversity.

After researching many theories, Diane Coutu, author of How Resilience Works and former editor of Harvard Business Review, identified three unique traits of resilient people:

1. Acceptance of reality
2. A sense that life is meaningful
3. An exceptional ability to improvise¹

Even if you feel as though you don't embody all these admirable characteristics, work at them day to day. With practice, you will find that each of these can help you create a positive outlook and give you an increased sense of resilience.

How to Build Resilience

Some people seem to be born with a steady, unfailing gyroscope, landing square on their feet no matter what circumstances come at them. Even if you don't have natural balance and this enviable resilience, you don't have to feel as if you are walking on eggshells. What you may not possess naturally can be learned. The following approaches will give you the power to rebound and, particularly important, avoid a catastrophic reaction that would only make crises and setbacks even worse.

Adopt a positive outlook. Resilience isn't a denial of loss. In fact, it is healthier to experience the emotions associated with loss, ranging from sadness and frustration to absolute anger. True resilience is the ability to absorb a punch and snap back from defeat, having accepted what occurred as a learning experience. Armed with lessons for the future, you advance toward the light at the end of the tunnel and emerge with a clear head.

A sense of humor and laughter can help you exit that tunnel quickly—and prevent feelings of despair from dragging you down along the way. After all, how many times have you looked back at a challenging life event in the rearview mirror and laughed as you realized it was not so cataclysmic as it appeared at the time?

Reach out to friends and family. Introverts tend to keep their feelings and their personal successes and failures close to the vest, even during the most trying times. However, this kind of self-contained approach doesn't often encourage resilience. One key to bouncing back is to reach out to family and close friends and accept help from those who will listen and support you.

Assist those in need. At the same time as accepting help, stepping out to help others in need can place your situation in perspective and increase your bounce-back factor. Adam Grant, Wharton professor and coauthor of Option B: Facing Adversity, Building Resilience and Finding Joy, studied a group of workers who were asked to keep a journal of their contributions. The study revealed that workers expressed receiving a significant benefit from helping others in the workplace. Grant explains, “What really boosted resilience was focusing not on contributions received from other people but rather contributions given to other people.”²

Be introspective. Resilient people have a knack for being able to ask themselves questions that stimulate and produce options. They don't harp on questions related to who is to blame or what caused their bad luck. Instead, they ask questions such as, “What's the lesson here?” and “What are my options now?” These are the kind of thoughts that often open the door to creative solutions and brilliant plans.

Take action. The time to set realistic goals is when you have taken a deep breath and embraced the challenge, accepted the problem, and are ready to move forward. When things are not going well, your energy may be depleted, so don't expect to improve matters in a single motion. Focus on a particular aspect of the task, and take one small step toward your goal. The sense of achievement that this creates, however tiny, will allow you to shake off some of your sluggishness and give you the necessary strength to continue along the road to success. It is a fallacy that you must be highly motivated to make something happen. Simply getting into action by making that first inroad will fuel your desire and motivation.

As an introvert, you tend to enjoy fully plumbing the depths of an issue and employing your creative thinking powers to conjure up new and interesting ideas. These qualities are always at your disposal and, not surprisingly, are in high demand in the workplace. These natural elements of your character will serve as your lifejacket in a sea of change. By combining your inherently thoughtful ways with a splash of resilience, you will improvise your way back from any unpleasant surprises or traumatic changes that may occur in your career.

Hope

The path to any successful career is marked by milestones and riddled with challenges along the way. Getting fired or laid off, or facing a job hunt that seems to have no end in sight can weigh down the most optimistic person. You may perceive a sense of shame creeping in, along with a feeling that you have been partially robbed of your identity. This sensation of being cast aside can even result in conditional or short-term depression.

Many of my clients struggling with these types of career challenges often ask, “What's wrong with me?” It is important to look at what you have done or left undone that may have contributed to the present state of events. But while you are taking a self-inventory, remind yourself that there is no shame in losing a job or being passed over for a promotion. It has happened to many successful people.

Hope is the deep, wise voice within that assures you that you are right to see a rewarding future no matter what misadventures have come your way. It's a blend of positive thinking, enduring loss, understanding the possibilities, overcoming the hurdles, and placing you in the driver's seat.

Shane J. Lopez, PhD, was a psychologist and senior scientist at Gallup who conducted several research studies on hope. In creating his hope theory, he developed the following four main concepts:

1. The future will be better than the present.
2. I have the power to make it so.
3. There are many paths to my goals.
4. None of them is free of obstacles.³

Envision your career evolution as a stimulating, exciting, or even hair-raising story. Embrace your introversion as a familiar friend, and challenge its nature now and again by periodic bold moves. In time these won't seem so bold at all, just another variation of your theme. Part of living your life is determined by how you ride the bumps in the road. So hold hands with hope as you walk along the path of discovery to your destiny.