Your success as a manager depends on how confidently and comfortably you are leading. You want to be authentic and never want to act like someone you aren't. My first experience as a manager was not great, but I learned from it. I didn't get the respect I deserved from the man I managed because I was trying to be like his previous manager instead of being like myself. I was afraid of confrontation and was not comfortable leading. He could tell I was uncomfortable and he didn't respect me because of it. Little did I know he actually had a job transfer in process and already had one foot out the door!
You have to find a leadership style that works for you and believe in yourself. You don't have to become one of the guys and you don't have to fit in with everyone else. You can stand out and be different with your unique leadership style by just being yourself.
So, what type of leader are you? Daniel Goleman, author of Primal Leadership, describes six different styles of leadership. Answer the following questions to determine which styles reflect you most right now as a leader:
- Do you enjoy getting your team's perspective on decisions? If so, you are a democratic leader.
- Do you set high standards for your team to meet so that you can get the best possible result? If so, you are a pacesetting leader.
- Do you rely on teamwork most of the time to get tasks done? Do you think two heads are better than one? If so, you are an affiliative leader.
- Do you prefer to meet with your employees on an individual basis in order to discuss their development and future goals? If so, you are a coaching leader.
- Do you like to envision a future goal for your team to meet? If so, you are a visionary leader.
- Do you often use criticism in order to motivate your team? If so, you are a commanding leader. If this is you, be careful, because criticism is not usually an effective form of leadership.
The most effective female leaders can move among these styles, adopting the one that meets the needs of the moment.
Here are some answers to other common leadership questions:
- Question: How can I make sure I regularly use my leadership strengths so that I am continually improving as a manager?
Answer: Write down the strengths you already have and the characteristics you want to improve on. Review your notes on a weekly basis to see how you are doing. The best way to make sure you are on track is to continually remind yourself and assess yourself. Write down a few words that will remind you what you are working toward each month and keep the note at your desk. This visual reminder will help you remember to keep improving on a daily basis.
- Question: What do you do when a man resents being managed by a woman no matter what you do?
Answer: Most of the time, this is just a test of your patience and he will come around. I have had this happen, but I just kept doing what I was doing and didn't let him frustrate me. Eventually, when he saw that I knew what I was doing and that I deserved to be in a management position, he started to respect and trust me. It was just a very slow and gradual process. Stay patient and keep doing the great things you are doing; he will come around or he will quit. One way or the other, it will be OK!