Important things get done

The first thing you gain when you bury your Gopher is the time you need to do the things that matter. You will start to notice that the important things get done and, as a result, you will feel like you are starting to make progress with your goals, your projects, your career, and your life.

More satisfaction from the things you do

When you have the time to beaver away at the important things, two things will happen. The first is that you will get a lot of satisfaction from completing them. This is not just the knowledge that something important is done – which is a great satisfaction – but also the knowledge that you have done it well and given it the time and attention it deserves.

The second is that you will get satisfaction from doing the things you do because you have chosen to do them. When your mind is not distracted by Gopher-level activities, you can focus on what really matters and be able to enjoy doing it – whatever it is.

Time to meet your commitments…
… and do them well

When you bury your Gopher, you will only take on commitments to other people that you choose to take on. And, because there will be fewer of them, you will have more time for them, and feel less pressured by them. They will seem less of a chore and, because you have more time for them, you will find that the quality of your work on them will improve.

People have new respect for you

The increasing quality of your work is one reason why people will have a new respect for you. But by far the greater reason is that you are no longer a yes-woman or yes-man, saying ‘yes’ to everything and therefore truly committing to nothing. Now, rather than being the doormat, you are the door, blocking the way to requests that do not suit you.

When you say ‘yes’ now, you are saying ‘yes’ for a good reason. Your choices are strategic: you are thinking about what is important for you, for your team, and for the organisation you work for. And you are investing your time wisely, which will deliver a good return.

More control over your workload

Having fewer things to do, having the time to focus on what’s important, and feeling able to say ‘no’ to meaningless tasks, will give you more control of how you use your time. You can now schedule when to tackle your jobs with more confidence, and start to feel in control of your workload. You can start to balance how much you set out to achieve with the time you choose to make available. In that time you can beaver away at making a difference, and get more done.

More time to relax and enjoy life

Feeling that you aren’t in control leads to stress. Your inner Gopher is a stress-making behaviour pattern. When you bury it, stress will start to fall away, because you – not it – are in control.

The added benefit is that you will now have more time to relax and enjoy your life. Your life will become what you choose it to be; not what others specify and you accede to, through the actions of your inner Gopher.

Step 1: Focus on the things you can control or influence

The control paradox

There are some things in life that you can control – and others that you can’t. Spending your time going for this and going for that, in an attempt to control the things you cannot control is futile. Yet we often do, without thinking.

The paradox is that the more we focus on the things we want to control, the more aware we become that we are failing, and the greater the need we feel to control them. There is no end to this cycle of increasingly more futile attempts to wrestle control.

What you have to do is break the cycle. You can do this by changing your focus on to the things that you can control. When you do this, your actions have a real effect on the world – your job, your family or your aspirations. This will give you a sense of achievement and well-being that leads to a far more positive cycle.

Step 2: Consciously slow yourself down

Step 3: Have the flexibility to say ‘yes’ to exciting opportunities

Exercises to help you bury the Gopher

Burying your inner Gopher means becoming expert at taking time for yourself and what is important to you. Here are six ways you can start to hone that skill.

Evaluation

Most of us have a To Do list somewhere – in our notebooks, on a scrap of paper, electronically, or just in our heads. Examine it critically.

First, look for the longest-range project that you have on your list. If there is nothing that contributes to a project that lasts as long as a year, then that should tell you something! But let’s say you have a couple of tasks that are part of a project that will only be complete in two years. Two years now becomes your time frame.

Now look at the list and mentally or physically cross off all of the things that really do not matter. These are things that you know you ought to say ‘no’ to; that you ought not to take on. To help you, you may want to consider their importance in the scale of your time frame. In our example, how important will they seem two years from now?

Finally, shift your perspective. If your time frame is two years, ask yourself, ‘What if I only had two years to live?’ Would this be a ‘yes’ task or a ‘no’ task?

Savouring your experiences

Pick one experience each day and experience it one hundred per cent. Savour every last moment of it. One day it may be your lunch; another, a conversation with a friend or colleague. It may be a work task, or a chore at home, like washing up, gardening or mending a tap. It may be something as simple as drinking a cup of tea. Take the time to notice all of the details. Do it steadily, with no rush to complete it. Savour it for what it is. When you start to experience every last gram of experience, the tasks you choose to take on will seem more fulfilling, and meaningless tasks will start to seem more of a waste of your valuable time.

Thinking time

Once a week, give yourself at least half an hour of high-quality head-space. Take time to think about anything and nothing. Find a park bench, a comfy sofa, or a pleasant café that is not intrusively noisy. Pick a time when it is not frequented by friends and colleagues. Go there alone and take nothing except a pen and paper. Get yourself a drink and spend your time thinking.

If something is on your mind, turn it over and see what’s underneath. If you are working on a project or initiative at home or at work, think through what might be coming up. If there’s nothing much on your mind, let it wander. Often, this is the most valuable time of your week, so don’t waste it by being a Gopher and trying to do something.

A useful tip is to set yourself a question before you take yourself off for your thinking time. Perhaps, ‘What am I missing?’ or ‘What next?’ Maybe ‘How can I do this?’ or ‘What can I learn from that?’

Giving time

How about giving somebody some of your time? What could be better training to repress the over-eager Gopher than to stop and give? Think of someone important in your life – a colleague, a friend, a family member – and set a time with them that you can spend together. Then give them your absolute and complete attention. Listen to them, respond to their agenda, do what they want to do. It is their time, not yours.

Go for a walk

Nothing recharges your batteries and relieves stress as simply, easily and time/effort-effectively as getting up and going for a walk. Energy flows, blood flows, your parasympathetic nervous system is revived, your breathing and posture improve, and your mind starts to access the unconscious thoughts that have been going on over the last hours or even days.

Movement is a therapy, but it also exercises your Gopher’s need to get up and go for it, without going for something you should be saying ‘no’ to.

Holidays and breaks

A classic Gopher problem is an inability to allow itself a proper break – or, when compelled to take a break, to properly enjoy it. So consult your loved ones and book a holiday. Don’t put it off with the expectation that you will grab a last-minute holiday. Sit down and plan a real break that you will enjoy. Clear your diary – ideally taking an extra day off work on the day before your break starts – and book something good.

Question 1: ‘What if I don’t do it?’

This question is about consequences. What can you realistically expect to happen if you do not go for it? To what extent are the consequences acceptable to you?

Get into the habit of asking this question, and you may be surprised about how often the answer is ‘nothing’ or, at least, ‘nothing much’. Often this will apply to the tasks you have at the bottom of your To Do list: the ones that get copied from one To Do list to the next, when you’ve completed all but the last few things. You feel like you should go for them – in fact you feel guilty that you haven’t. But you’ve been putting them off for days, weeks, or even months.

So, if you do find the answer is ‘nothing’ or ‘nothing much’, then cross those things off your list and savour the sense of release you get from having decided that you won’t go for it after all.

If you have trouble with this, try taking it off your To Do list, and transferring it to a new list, on a new sheet of paper – a To Don’t list. Keep it somewhere safe, but out of the way.

Notice that you may find cases when you ask ‘What if I don’t do it?’ and you get an answer like: ‘I’d be fine with it – my boss will be furious.’ What does this mean?

It means that you may not be looking far enough ahead. Perhaps what you should have thought was: ‘My boss will be furious – it could affect my appraisal – my career could be harmed.’ If you are fine with that, then don’t do it, but burying your inner Gopher must not compromise your long-term priorities. If you realise that this isn’t the career for you, it’s time to stop going for this career. Otherwise, burying your inner Gopher is not a sound excuse for not doing the jobs at work that you don’t like.

Let’s assume you must do it. What next?

Question 2: ‘What if I only do part of it?’

Once again, look at the consequences of splitting the task up, or of doing it to a different standard from the one you might carelessly assume is needed. Can you make the task smaller, to free up time for other things?

Assess the completion criteria objectively. Think about the people who will evaluate what you do and ask yourself – and them: ‘What does “done” need to look like?’ We often set or expect standards without careful thought.

Sometimes ‘good enough’ is not what you want: you want ‘the best possible’. But in most circumstances, anything better than good enough is a waste of effort that will diminish your capacity to do everything you need. Understand what you are doing it for, and limit your ambition to go for the best to the times when the best will make a difference. All other times, deliver ‘done’ to meet the needs of the situation.

You won’t always be able to diminish the task at hand, so what next?

Question 3: ‘What if I do it later?’

Don’t just go for it without assessing when it is needed and when would be the best time for you to attend to it. ‘Right, I’ll do it straight away’ sounds positive and enthusiastic, and can get you into all sorts of time-management troubles. How about: ‘Right, leave it with me, I’ll do it in good time for the deadline.’

When you understand time priorities and can schedule tasks to suit you, you gain control and give things the time they need, without feeling rushed. They don’t interfere with what you are doing now, so your work also becomes more efficient and effective.

Another source of pressure from your inner Gopher to go for it are all those aspirational tasks and projects on your To Do list. You want to get started on all of them, but you’ve been putting them off because you don’t feel like you have enough time. This can cause stress – a tension between wanting to go for it and knowing the time is not right.

The solution is to take those things off your To Do list. They don’t belong on your To Don’t list, so you need a new list: a Will Do list. Your Will Do list is the first step in planning how and when you will do something. It contains a clear description of what you plan to do and two essential dates: a start date – when you will start work on getting it done; and a finish date – when you propose to have it completed.

What this does is turn a pesky To Do item into the start of a plan. By defining a start and end date, you have turned it into a project – maybe it is just a mini-project, but it gives you a recognition that this needs thought and sets a time to do it. Now it isn’t a To Do item prodding away at your inner Gopher, it’s a plan. Now you have taken control and you will find a great deal less stress associated with it.

You may not be able to reschedule it until later. What next?

Question 4: ‘What if someone else does it?’

Does it have to be you? Is there really nobody else who could do it? Part of the mentality of many Gophers is the belief that:

• ‘I’m the only one who can do this’ or
• ‘Others could do it – but not as well’.

Some even fear:

• ‘If I don’t do it, someone else will get the credit’.

Well, you are rarely the only person who could do a good job, even if others would do it differently. Sometimes, they will do it better, but even if they don’t, if they never get a chance to learn, then you’ll be stuck in an endless cycle. So, you worry about the credit. Don’t. If you can identify the right person for the job in a few minutes, then that is a capability people will value.

Sometimes, the answer to this question is delegation: giving your task to someone else to do for you. Sometimes it is about abdication: recognising that it is not important enough to you for you to do it and leaving it for someone else to pick up, if it is important enough to them.

Sometimes, however, you will realise you do need to do it; you need to do all of it; you need to do it now; and only you can do it. Now your inner Gopher has lost control. You are going to do it, not because the Gopher made you, but because you decided that it is the right thing to do.

Top tip

Make yourself small cards – or download one from www.theyesnobook.co.uk – with the four questions for Gophers on them. Put the cards in your pockets and your bags, so you always have one ready to hand, wherever you are.