Index
accountability, 30
Adams, Scott, 176
addiction, 36–37
Alcoholics Anonymous, 36–37
Amistad (film), 56–57
amygdala, 15
analysis, 29
Andy Griffith Show, 153–154
appreciations, 44–46
archetypal stories, 185
arrogance, 18–19
associations
hidden, 143
patterns of, 162–165
assumptions, 143
hidden, 176
in objective thinking, 33
audience
learning about, 168–171
“reading,” 194–195
Australian Open, 186
authenticity, 40
averages, 168–169
behaviors, teaching, 80–82
belongingness, 191–193
bias, 196–197
big stories, 184–193
as archetypal stories, 185
choosing, 187–189
to create belongingness and solidarity, 191–193
deviance of creative ideas for, 186–187
and quality of decision-making/thinking routines of group, 185
as self-diagnostic process, 189–191
books, movies, and current events
I-Know-What-You-Are-Thinking stories from, 152–154
as sources of stories, 42–43
Teaching stories from, 91–93
Values-in-Action stories from, 130–131
Vision stories from, 108–110
Who-I-Am stories from, 56–57
Why-I-Am-Here stories from, 72–74
bragging, 119–121
brain
neural network of, 33
stories’ communication with, 15
brain training, 27–38
and abandonment of well-rewarded skills, 28–29
and expectation of cause and effect, 33
and expectation of proof, 30–33
and measurement of subjective dynamics, 29–30
in nonlinear relationships, 33–35
and root-cause analysis, 35–37
unlearning of imagination blocks in, 27–29
brand stories, see big stories
brevity, 175–183
and conflict in mental templates, 176
and hidden assumptions, 176
and looping conversation, 179
and messy reality, 178
personal feelings revealed by, 178
questions to achieve, 177
and reluctance to commit, 177–178
and root causes of poor communication, 175
time to prune for, 180–182
and wanting to appear sympathetic vs. wanting to give someone a kick, 179–180
Brumuller, Bettye, 126
Cade, John, 91–92
Carter, June, 109
Cash, Johnny, 108–109
cause and effect, expectations of, 33
CBS, 109
choices, 5
Cialdini, Robert, 143
clarity, overdoing, 80
Coca-Cola, 187
collective values, 120
commitment, 177–178
communication
as means to goals, 3
nonverbal, 195
with old brain, 15
real goal of, 4
role of stories in, 1–3
sense of human presence in, 4
see also listening to stories
confirmation of self-image, 4
connection, need for, 3–5, 194–195
control, illusion of, 188
conversations, looping, 179
core values, 178
creating meaning, 197
criticism, 44
culture, value and creation of, 122
curiosity, as talent for storytelling, 18
current events, as sources of stories, see books, movies, and current events
customer service, 80–82
cynicism, 116
decision making, 9–10
bias in, 196
economic, 28
emotions in, 17
objective vs. subjective, 189
quality of, 184
rational, 14
understanding points of view in, 197–198
detachment, 139
details, impact of, 35
disconnection, root cause of, 22
disillusionment, 83
disrespect, 195
Dohrn, Jennifer, 130–131
Don’t Think of an Elephant (George Lakoff), 12
economics, experimental, 28, 62
editing, premature, 175, 180–181
Einstein, Albert, on things that count, 30
emotions (feelings), 17
activation of, 33
facts vs., 35
negative, 100–101
proofs for, 31
revealing, 178
truth of, 31–32
Eris, myth of, 191–192
expectations
of cause and effect, 33
changes in, 21
conflicting, 176
of proof, 30–33
experience(s)
ambiguity and imperfections of, 32
of audience, 168
as best teacher, 20
lessons learned by, 82
negative, stories based on, 116–117
personal, 50
reimagined, stories as, 19–22
sensory, see sensory experience
experimental economics, 28, 62
exploitation
fear of, 177–178
sensitivity to, 62–64
trust vs., 121
facts
feelings vs., 35
reframing, 14
Falucci, Jim, 120
Farr, Jim, 70–71
feedback
negative, 45
in practicing, 43–45
feelings, see emotions
filters, 11–12
Ford, Henry, 188
forgiveness, 118–119
Franklin, Ben, 90
Freakonomics (Steven Levitt), 166
fundraising, 64–65
Fuson, Greg, 181–182
future, imagining, 99
Galeano, Eduardo, on charity vs. solidarity, 192–193
genius storytellers, 187–188
Goethe, Johann Wolfgang von, on brevity, 175
gratitude, 42
groups, stories about, see big stories
Henry V (William Shakespeare), 66
hidden associations, 143
hidden assumptions, 176
“Holy Grail” stories, 184–185, see also big stories
honesty, 191
hope, 185
human presence, need for, 3–5
humility, 42
hypothetical situations, 25
I-Know-What-You-Are-Thinking stories, 25, 137–158
of a book, movie, or current event, 152–154
as display of mental telepathy, 141–143
experiential examples in, 145–154
feedback on, 156
initial draft of, 155
of a mentor, 149–152
to overcome objections, 137–138
personal reactions to, 157
power of validation in, 138–141
preparation for, 144–145
sequence and framing in, 143–144
“test-telling” of, 156
of a time you blew it, 147–149
of a time you shined, 145–146
illusion of control, 188
imagination
blocks to, 27–29
failure of, 100
incivility, 120
incomplete information, 50
influence
of current stories, 203
filters of, 49
on interpretations, 13
of powerful people, 187–188
and trust of listeners, 50
Influence (Robert Cialdini), 143
integrity, 119–120
internal critic, 15
interpretations, 12
freedom to arrive at, 28
intending to change, 140–141
multiple, 15
and points of view, 16–17
predicting, understanding, and influencing, 13
intimacy, 50
J. Walther Thompson, 102
King, Martin Luther, Jr., 188
King Midas story, 19
know-it-alls, 18–19
Lakoff, George, 12
Langer, Ellen, 188
Lawrence-Lightfoot, Sara, 130
leadership, teaching, 139–140
Levitt, Steven, 166–167
linear thinking, 33–35
Lipman, Doug, 44
listening to stories, 202–209
danger in, 207
to frame your perceptions, 202–203
minimum level for, 204–205
opposite of, 205–207
training others in, 45–46
looping conversations, 179
love, 185
magic stories, see also big stories
Maguire, Gregory, 196–197
Mandela, Nelson, 100
The Matrix (film), 73
McGrath, Pam, 81
measurement of subjective issues, 29–30
memories, 11–12
mental templates, conflict in, 176
mentors
I-Know-What-You-Are-Thinking stories about, 149–152
as sources of stories, 42
Teaching stories about, 89–90
Values-in-Action stories about, 128–129
Vision stories about, 105–107
Who-I-Am stories about, 55–56
Why-I-Am-Here stories about, 70–72
metrics, 27–29
Mockus, Antanas, 55
morale, 36
movies, as sources of stories, see books, movies, and current events
needs, psychological, 3–5
negative feedback, 45
New Yorker, 88
nonlinear thinking, 33–35
nonverbal communication, 195
objective thinking, 9–10
assumptions in, 33
and bias, 196
and inspiration of loyalty, 121–122
in selection of stories, 189
subjective thinking vs., 12–13
suspending, 14–15
tools for, 22
uses of, 29
O’Connor, Flannery, on writing stories, xi
On Becoming an Artist (Ellen Langer), 188
optimism, building, 101
organizational stories, see big stories
over-confidence, 18–19
overload, root cause of, 22
The Paradox of Choice (Barry Schwartz), 5
passion, 189
patience, 82
patterns of association, 162–165
perceptions
in economic decisions, 28
framing, 202–203
influence of sequence and framing of, 143–144
sensory experience and, 161
validating, 140
personal stories, 40
perspective, 144
philosophical framework, 27–29
PhotoStory, 52
Picasso, Pablo, 181
point(s) of view, 16–17, 194–201
and bias, 196–197
meaning created by, 197
“reading your audience” vs., 194–195
stepping in and out of, 195–196
political stories, see big stories
PowerPoint presentations, 87–88
practicing storytelling, 43–46
based on sensory experience, 171–173
getting feedback in, 43–45
improvement with, 39
training a listener for, 45–46
Presence (Peter Senge), 206
proof, expectation of, 30–33
psychological needs, 3–5
“pull” stories, 10–101
rational decision making, 9–10, 14
rational thinking, see objective thinking
“reading” audience, 194–195
reality
created from stories, 3–4
effect of attention on, 11–12
messiness of, 178
reframing “facts,” 14
reinterpreting “facts,” 14
reliability of stories, 32
research
of audience, 168–171
value of, 189
resentment, 83
Respect (Sara Lawrence-Lightfoot), 130
root-cause analysis, 35–37
Rose, Billy, 67
Rubin, Rick, 109
A Safe Place for Dangerous Truths (Annette Simmons), 123
safety, preference for, 25
scenario planning, 99–100
Schwartz, Barry, on choices, 5
Second Curve Capital, 168
Seles, Monica, 186
self-diagnostic process, storytelling as, 189–191
self-image, confirmation of, 4
Senge, Peter, 206
sensory experience, 161–173
to bring numbers to life, 166–167
building new patterns with, 162–165
patterns associated with, 162
practice in developing, 171–173
in urban legends, 165–166
for your specific audience, 168–171
sequence of information, 143–144
Shakespeare, William, 66
Shell Oil, 100
Simons, Ted, 87–88
solidarity, 191–193
sources of stories, 39–43
books, movies, or current events as, 42–43
mentors as, 42
times you blew it as, 41–42
times you shined as, 41
Space Shuttle Columbia disaster, 87–88
“Spiders under the Toilet Seat” story, 165–166
spreadsheet, 27–28
status, concern with, 139
stories
attention controlled by, 11–12
communication role of, 1–3
every-day, 22–24
as experience reconstituted, 19–22
future feelings controlled by, 12
I-Know-What-You-Are-Thinking, 25
impact of, 3
as language of the subjective, 13
as pre-scientific thinking, 15
reality created from, 3–4
resistance to, 17
stimulating human emotions with, 11
as subjective thinking tool, 14–17
Teaching, 24
testing ideas for, 189
types of, 23
Values-in-Action, 25
Vision, 25
Who-I-Am, 24
Why-I-Am-Here, 24
working definition of, 19
see also specific types of stories
storytelling
becoming intentional about, 23
habits to suspend for, 37
learning, 22
nonlinear aspects of, 34–35
reliability of, 32
as self-diagnostic process, 189–191
talent for, 18
techniques and tools for, 32
The Storytelling Coach (Doug Lipman), 44
subjective decision making, 10
subjective issues
measuring, 29–30
research “distorted” by, 170
“right” answers to, 188
subjective thinking
as nonlinear, 34
objective thinking vs., 12–13
proof in, 31
in selection of stories, 189
stories as tool for, 14–17
talent for storytelling, 18
Taylor, William C., 168
about customer service, 80–82
about patience, 82
of a book, movie, or current event, 91–93
experiential examples in, 84–93
feedback on, 95
identifying focus of, 84
inappropriate use of, 83
initial draft of, 93
of a mentor, 89–90
as no-risk demonstrations, 79
personal reactions to, 96
preliminaries to, 83
success rate for, 83
“test-telling” of, 95
of a time you blew it, 87–88
of a time you shined, 84–86
technical instructions, communicating, 83
test-tellings, listeners for, 45
thinking skills, 28–29
times you blew it
I-Know-What-You-Are-Thinking stories of, 147–149
as sources of stories, 41–42
Teaching stories of, 87–88
Values-in-Action stories of, 125–128
Vision stories of, 104–105
Who-I-Am stories of, 53–55
Why-I-Am-Here stories of, 68–70
times you shined
I-Know-What-You-Are-Thinking stories of, 145–146
as sources of stories, 41
Teaching stories of, 84–86
Values-in-Action stories of, 123–125
Vision stories of, 102–104
Who-I-Am stories of, 52–53
Why-I-Am-Here stories of, 65–68
trust
built by Who-I-Am stories, 50–51
in conclusions from stories, 28
definitions of, 29
experience in development of, 20
exploitation vs., 121
measuring, 29–30
reluctance to, 49–50
subjective nature of, 121–122
truth
archetypal, 187
expecting proof of, 30–33
of feelings, 31–32
“The Unknown Soldier” (Billy Rose), 67
Uribe, Juan, 56
USAID, 149–150
validation, 138–141
Value-in-Action stories, 25, 116–136
of a book, movie, or current event, 130–131
bragging vs., 119–121
defining values for, 122–123
experiential examples in, 123–131
feedback on, 133–134
initial draft of, 132
of a mentor, 128–129
metaphors in, 117–119
objective reasoning vs., 121–122
other values reflected in, 135–136
personal reactions to, 134–135
“test-telling” of, 133
of a time you blew it, 125–128
of a time you shined, 123–125
victim-hood in, 117
values
articulating, 122
building, 117
collective, 120
competition among, 178
and creation of culture, 122
subjectivity of, 25
taking a stand on, 177–178
victim stories, 117
The Vine, 182
vision process, 99
of a book, movie, or current event, 108–110
defining vision for, 101–102
experiential examples in, 102–110
feedback on, 112
initial draft of, 110–111
of a mentor, 105–107
personal reactions to, 113
as “pull” stories, 100–101
scenario planning as, 99–100
“test-telling” of, 112
of a time you blew it, 104–105
of a time you shined, 102–104
Wang, Caroline, 52
warning stories, 117
Welch, Jack, 188
of a book, movie, or current event, 56–57
experiential examples in, 52–57
feedback on, 59
initial draft of, 58
of a mentor, 55–56
people’s stories about you vs., 49–50
personal reaction to, 60
“test-telling” of, 59
of a time you blew it, 53–55
of a time you shined, 52–53
trust built by, 50–51
your qualities in, 51
Why-I-Am-Here stories, 24, 62–78
of a book, movie, or current event, 72–74
defining reasons in, 65
experiential examples in, 65–74
feedback on, 76
in fundraising, 64–65
initial draft of, 74
of a mentor, 70–72
personal reactions to, 77
and sensitivity to exploitation, 62–64
“test-telling” of, 76
of a time you blew it, 68–70
of a time you shined, 65–68
Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West (Gregory Maguire), 196–197
WIIFM (What’s In It For Me), 63
winning stories, 38–43
definitions of, 38–39
personal significance of, 40
practical path to, 38
practice in telling, 39
sources of, 39–43