INDEX
advocacy. See self-advocacy; sponsors
anger, backlash against expressing, 5–8. See also emotions
Anne Welsh McNulty Institute for Women’s Leadership, 183–184
assertiveness, caring vs., 24
assumptions
avoiding, 113
setting, 68
authenticity, xv
challenges facing women and, 14–15
communication and, 5, 8–10, 13–14
expression of emotions and, 8–12
making room for your whole self and, 25–38
multiple identities and, 35
women of color and, 125
“The Authenticity Paradox” (Ibarra), 12
authoritativeness, 19
balance, among identities, 33–34
benevolent sexism, 43
on leading with authenticity, 3–14
confidence vs. competence and, 159–160
confirmation, 164
imposter syndrome and, 153–161
in performance reviews, 163–169
Bloomberg Media, 172
Brescoll, Tori, 6
calm, while under pressure, 85
caring
assertiveness vs., 24
Carmichael, Sarah Green, xii
on leading with authenticity, 3–14
Caulfield, Emily, xii
Cecchi-Dimeglio, Paola, 163–169
Diversity Dividend, 163
Center for Talent Innovation. See Coqual
Chamorro-Premuzic, Tomas, 159
Citi, 72
code-switching, 35
collaboration, 60
comfort zone, authenticity and, 12–14
communication
about workplace biases, 129, 132
in asserting leadership, 55, 60
authenticity in, 5, 8–10, 13–14
being heard in meetings and, 13–14
body language and tone in, 75–76
listening and, 75
performance reviews and, 166–169
presence and, 69
telling your boss what you want and, 111–116
competence, 17
being authoritative yet participative, 19
self-reliance and, 47
complexity. See also ethnicity
normalization of, 37
confidence
asserting leadership and, 62–63
humble, 70
imposter syndrome and, 153–161
underestimation of in women, 39–42
confirmation bias, 164
context
asking your boss for what you want and, 113–114
of opportunities, 175
performance reviews and, 168
women supporting women and, 155–156, 168
contributions
boss dynamics around, 98
getting credit for, xiii
lack of credit for, 96, 100–101
sponsors’ advocacy around, 177–178
talking about your, 90
valuing of women’s, 41–42, 100–101
credibility
asking for advice and, 137–138
executive voice and, 81
women of color and, 128
credit for contributions, xiii, 69–70, 100–101
Cross, Rob, 139
crowdsourcing, 169
culture, company
accountability for, 129
anger expression and, 8
expression of emotions and, 8–12
understanding before changing, 122
Davis, Viola, 155
demanding, being caring and, 18–21
imposter syndrome and, 159
increasing, in organizations, 118, 128–133, 173
working groups, 138
Diversity Dividend (Cecchi-Dimeglio), 163
Donio, Elena, 38
confidence vs. competence, 159–160
gendered leadership norms and, 17–24
performance reviews and, 164–169
women supporting women and, 179–181
Duckworth, Angela, 142
Eagly, Alice, 166
Ellevate Network, 183
Ellevest, 183
emotional intelligence (EQ), 41
emotions, 123
anger, backlash against women expressing, 5–8
being demanding yet caring, 18–21
cost of difference and, 128
expectations about women showing, 8–12
gendered leadership norms and, 17–21
energy, managing your, 69
Entrepreneurial You (Clark), 73–74
ethnicity. See also race
anger expression and, 6
demographics and, 117
either/or identity and, 29
exclusionary cultures and, 132–133
expression of emotion and, 10–11
getting to senior management and, 117–133
hypervisibility and, 123, 126–127
imposter syndrome and, 153–161
intersectional invisibility and, 123–127
leadership opportunities and, 61–62
mentors and, 123, 127–128, 171–172
organization’s role in leadership and, 128–133
Eurich, Tasha, xiii–xiv, 39–47
Insight, 43
about emotion expression, 8–12
gendered norms of leadership and, 17–24, 54–55
Expect to Win (Harris), 36
experiences, broadening, 37–38
expertise
being sponsor-worthy and, 89–90
imposter syndrome and, 153–161
influence and, 76
outside your organization, 139–140
rising to senior management and, 120–121
of sexual harassment allegations, 172
feedback
about leadership concerns, 62–63
goals of, 169
on how to assert leadership, 58–60
inclusive leadership and, 130–131
Fiorina, Carly, 17
Tough Choices, 17
Five Whys, 146
focus
on being sponsor-worthy, 88
making assumptions and, 113
in performance reviews, 165
on solving problems vs. getting promoted, 72–73
Gallo, Amy, xii
on acting like a leader, 65–72
Give and Take (Grant), 139
Grant, Adam, 139
Give and Take, 139
Harris, Carla, 36
Expect to Win, 36
Hewlett, Sylvia Ann, 87–91, 180
holistic mindset, 30
humility, 70
Ibarra, Herminia, 12
“The Authenticity Paradox,” 12
identities. See also authenticity
authenticity and, 35
boundary management and, 34–35
creating connections between, 29–31
either/or thinking about, 28–29
leveraging connections between, 31–32
confidence vs. competence and, 159–160
definition of, 154
prioritizing, 138
executive voice and, 81
helping influencers and, 138–140
listening and, 75
stakeholders’ needs and, 77–78
staying current and, 79
Insight (Eurich), 43
interruptions, xiii
intersectional invisibility, 123–127
journey line exercise, 145–146
Krawcheck, Sallie, 183
leaders and leadership
acting as vs. organizational position, 54, 56–58, 65–72
deciding whether or not to pursue, 63–64
disadvantages facing women in, xiv
diversity of styles in, 158–159
embracing complexity by, 38
gendered norms of, 17–24, 55–56, 159
pipeline diversity for, 117–118
presence and, 55, 65–66, 68–69, 82, 98
seeing yourself as, xii–xiii, 51–64, 120
shadowing, 133
taking responsibility for, xi–xv
Leadership Quarterly, 180
Livingston, Robert, 6
Markle, Meghan, 29
McKinsey & Company, 118, 180–181
intentional exclusion from, 108
others’ perceptions of you and, 105–107
talking to your boss about, 107–108
cultivating influential, 123, 127–128
developing, 173
father/daughter relationships with, 58–59
#MeToo movement and, 172
women supporting women and, 179–184
#MeToo movement, 172
microaggressions, 129, 132, 157
model minority stereotype, 10–12
plan B for, 116
niceness, xiv
adapting to situations and, 21
reframing, 24
norms, gendered leadership, 17–24, 55–56, 159
Obama, Michelle, 155
opportunities
acting like a leader and, 65–68
context of, 175
Own the Room (Su/Wilkins), 51, 65–66, 95
women supporting women and, 180
performance evaluations, 43–44, 163–169
Poku-Spalding, Dee, 183
Polson, Shannon Huffman, 141–149
potential, showing, xv
acting like a leader and, 65–72
increasing influence and, 73–79
seeing yourself as a leader and, 51–64
sponsorship and, 87–91, 173–174
power maps, 77
presence, 55, 65–66, 68–69, 82
asking questions and, 98
perceptions of, 158
physical, 55
training in, 132
pressure, staying calm under, 85
professional development
acting on opportunities, 65–68
excelling in your current role, 66
helping your boss succeed and, 66–67
leadership opportunities and, 61–63
multiple identities and, 37–38
performance reviews and, 168–169
promotions, recognition, and, 177–178
telling your boss what you want and, 111–116
when your boss won’t help, 135–140
women supporting women and, 179–184
professionalism
biases in assessment of, 158
expression of emotions and, 8–12
prospective awareness, 102
protégés, 89, 91, 129, 132, 171–178
public relations departments, 140
queen bee phenomenon, 180
race. See also ethnicity
aspiring to leadership and, 61–62
bullying and, 153
disparities in work assignments, 132
identity, with multiple, 29
intersection, with gender, 157
microaggressions and, 129, 132, 157
masking, 125
racism, 154, 155–156, 157–158, 160–161
Reflected Best Self Exercise, 42
reframing
niceness and toughness, 24
relationships
executive voice and strategic, 84–85
getting invited to important meetings and, 108–109
inclusive leadership and, 129–130
leadership development and, 58–59
with mentors, 123, 127, 172, 173, 175–176
with sponsors, 58–59, 87–91, 172–177
between women inside a company, 179–184
resilience, 123. See also grit
retrospective awareness, 102
role models
imposter syndrome and, 156
influential, 123
sponsors as, 136
Rosette, Ashleigh Shelby, 6
Sandberg, Sheryl, 155
self-advocacy, 5, 19–20, 90–91
getting invited to meetings and, 103–109
telling your boss what you want, 111–116
when your boss won’t help, 135–140
inclusive leadership and, 130
retrospective and prospective, 102
underestimation of self by women and, 39–42
of your goals, 112
self-compassion, 102
self-knowledge, xiii
multifaceted identity and, 27–32
self-reliance, 47
sexism, benevolent, 43
Shambaugh, Rebecca, 81–86, 111–116
Smith, Ella Bell, 45
solutions, offering, 85
spatial awareness, 101
spheres of influence, 139
sponsors
developing, in organizations, 173
development and support from, 175–176
encouraging perseverance and, 176–177
identifying high-potential talent and, 173–174
making yourself worthy of, 87–91
making introductions as, 176
women supporting women and, 179–184
workplace biases and, 129, 132
stakeholders
considering needs of, 77
getting credit for contributions and, 96
managing, 132
stereotypes, 10–12, 41, 124–125, 128–129, 132, 157, 160
story, knowing your personal, 144–146
strategy, influence and, 77
Su, Amy Jen
on demonstrating leadership, 66, 70
support
being sponsor-worthy and, 87–91
imposter syndrome and, 153–161
performance reviews and, 163–169
by women of women, xv, 126–128, 179–184
Theron, Charlize, 155
Thomas, Kecia M., 160
Torres, Nicole, xii
on inclusive leadership, 130–131
on leading with authenticity, 3–14
Tough Choices (Fiorina), 17
Toyota, 146
trust
loyalty and, 88
value, assessing your, 104–105
values, 126
authenticity and, 13
visibility, prioritizing, 138
vision, executive voice and, 83–84
vulnerability, 19, 24, 28, 112, 129
Watkins, Marla Baskerville, 124–127
Watkins, Michael, 66, 67, 69–70, 71
“what if” responses, 115
WIE (Women Inspiration and Enterprise) Network, 183
Wilkins, Muriel Maignan, xiii
on acting like a leader, 65–69, 71
win-wins
niceness and toughness and, 22–23
requesting, 113
Women at Work (podcast), xii
on inclusive leadership, 130–131
on leading with authenticity, 3–14
“Women in the Workplace” (report), 118
women of color. See ethnicity