Planned Fun: Make It a Priority

As you recall from chapter 5, being planful in your life is essential for managing all aspects of your 168. Now we realize just how important being planful is for having more fun. If you want to experience more fun as part of your life balance, you can't leave it to chance. You need to plan for fun.

Here's how I think about it. With my 168, I am very focused on all the things I need to do. I allocate time for work, and I prioritize what absolutely must get done every day. I also make sure I'm spending meaningful time with my family, that I'm exercising and getting enough sleep, and I'm attending to my spiritual life (as we address in chapter 10). In addition (as we discuss in chapter 11), knowing that I'm only here for a short time, I want to make a positive impact in any way I can. Sounds like a lot, and it is; however, I can't forget about fun, which is key to pursuing life balance. In a column she wrote for O, The Oprah Magazine (which also appeared on Oprah.com), author and researcher Brené Brown emphasized the importance of scheduling unstructured time for fun. As she observed, “Play—doing things just because they're fun and not because they'll help achieve a goal—is vital to human development.”²

One of the most important times for fun is vacation—taking a break from the daily routine and investing more time in personal relationships. I find it interesting, though, that many people don't take all their annual vacation. For some, it's like a badge of honor. Someone told me recently (and with a bit of pride in his voice) that when he retired, he had 19 weeks of accumulated vacation. That's nearly five months of vacation time not taken! Another friend told me that it had been “16 months since I had more than one day off.” The exact number—16 months—meant she was keeping a count. I had to wonder: was she keeping score? How was that helping her life balance?

If you feel guilty about taking time off because of your work responsibilities, think of it this way: paid vacation time is part of your compensation—one way your employer rewards you. So why wouldn't you take your vacation the same way you accept your paycheck and other benefits?

I worked very hard in my corporate career, including more than ten years combined as CFO and then CEO and chairman of Baxter International; however, I always made sure I took all of my vacation days. When I was just starting out and was entitled to two weeks of vacation, I took those two weeks. When my vacation time increased, I took all that vacation time every year, because I recognized that time away from the job actually benefited my performance. I recognized that I could not pursue balance as part of living a values-based life if I couldn't take time away from the office.

I also knew that when I was on vacation, I could spend more time with family, see friends, take care of my health, enjoy leisure activities, and devote extra time to prayer and self-reflection. Vacation time is crucial to improving my physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual health (as we discuss in chapter 8).

Now ask yourself: when was the last time you took a vacation—not just a day or two, but an entire week? If it's been longer than a year, perhaps it's time to do some self-reflection as to why. The culprit is probably work—and I understand that it can be hard to break away. If you let it, however, work will occupy all 168 hours of your week—52 weeks a year.

By giving up your vacation time, you're shortchanging yourself on life balance. You're missing out on opportunities to relax and recharge. As author Amy Hinote observed in her book The Power of a Vacation, each of us has a fundamental need to broaden our horizons and change our perspectives. “As human beings, we also have a need to escape our everyday lives,” Hinote wrote. “We crave leisurely mornings minus alarms. A fresh powdering of snow. Afternoons spent listening to the waves, our feet snuggled in sand and moonlit nights under starry skies.”³

Although travel allows us to break from our daily routines, we can also engage in fun and leisurely activities closer to home. If your finances or other circumstances prevent you from making a trip right now, you can still reap the benefits of a change of pace. The walking or biking paths near your home can help you relax just as much as strolling the streets of London or the beaches of Hawaii.

A vacation, though, doesn't just happen. You need to plan, from scheduling days off from work to deciding what you're going to do with your free time. If you're planning to travel during your vacation, you obviously need to make arrangements. Even if you're taking a staycation, you still need to plan. What will you do during that time? If you've been saying that you wished you had more time for a favorite leisure activity, there is nothing like a vacation to give you that opportunity. If you fail to plan, however, you can get so wrapped up in work that you don't take your vacation. Maybe you'll squeeze in a day off or two by the end of the year, but there won't be enough weeks left to take all your vacation. You'll have to roll your unused vacation to the next year (if you can) or else you'll lose it.

Being planful is the only way to avoid that happening—and the earlier you start making those plans, the better. When my children were younger, my family vacation time was dictated largely by their school schedules and, later on, by summer jobs and summer school classes. Every year, in late July and early August, we take a two-week road trip, which I jokingly call our Walley World trip, after the road adventure in National Lampoon's Vacation.

Getting two adults and five children to our final destination, with various stops and side trips along the way, requires quite a bit of planning. Yet that's part of the fun. We plan from point A to point B, with flexibility to be spontaneous along the way.

Yes, it's an effort. The busier you are at work, the more challenging it will be to keep your commitment to yourself and your family to take that vacation—especially if you intend to unplug as much as possible. When I was at Baxter, there were many times when I worked up to the last minute before our departure on vacation. I can remember being at the office until very late on Friday night and even into the early hours of Saturday morning so I could finish everything before vacation. My office phone would ring well after midnight, and it would be Julie asking me, “Are you coming home?” By putting in that extra time, though, I could leave the office behind when the family packed up and hit the road.

Depending on what was going on, I sometimes had to make a few phone calls while we were away. I can remember when the children were young, locking myself in the hotel bathroom to take a conference call and my daughter Suzie wiggling her fingers under the door and asking, “Daddy, can you see my fingers? When are you taking me to the beach?” These days, I'm more likely to keep up with email while traveling—not all the time, usually in the evening after everyone else is asleep. I find a daily email check-in is preferable to dealing with two weeks of unread emails when I come back from vacation.

No matter how challenging it is to juggle the logistics, or how much work you'll face when you come back, don't let that stop you from taking a vacation. You owe it to yourself to have some planned fun.

Stress-Releasing Fun: It's Good for You!

If we go back to chapter 1, recall that one of the benefits of pursuing life balance is minimizing worry, fear, anxiety, pressure, and stress. A big part of that is being self-reflective to increase self-awareness of how we're feeling and what we need to pursue better balance. Often, what we need is more fun, particularly when we are feeling stressed.

Using myself as an example, when I have a big project that needs to get done in the next few days, I'll work several hours in a row without taking a break. After working nine or ten hours straight, I have to clear my head for a little while. Sometimes that means going for a jog, working out at the gym for an hour, or taking a bicycle ride with the family. Other times, though, what I really need is a two-hour window of fun—and that means going to the movies!

Full disclosure: I'm a movie fanatic. Going to the movies was a treat when I was growing up, and my parents would take the whole family. When I was in high school, it was a favorite activity with friends. When I was in college at Lawrence University, however, I had no extra money, so going to the movies was a problem. Then I got an idea. I approached the college newspaper and offered to write movie reviews. For four years, I had a free pass to the movies. I saw every movie released, which was great fun for me (even if some of the movies weren't very good).

Less successful was taking a date along because I always had to carry a small flashlight so I could take notes during the movie. It was distracting for my date, who was trying to focus on what was happening on the screen, and it hardly made for a romantic evening. To be honest, I wasn't the best reviewer, either. How positive or negative I was about the movie often had more to do about how I felt that day (happy and relaxed or grumpy and tired) than the merits of the film.

All these years later, going to the movies is still my favorite pastime. It's the perfect escape for a couple of hours. Then, when I get back to work, I feel so much better for having taken some time off for stress-releasing fun that I'm twice as productive.

Whether you see a movie, go for a run, or simply sit outside in the fresh air, find what helps you unplug long enough to clear your mind and recharge your batteries. That hour or two is not procrastination. Rather, it's injecting some fun into your life as a way to reduce stress, raise your energy level, and improve your focus.

Rewarding Fun: The Best Incentive

With five children, I can tell you that the promise of fun is a powerful incentive. When my children were younger, the scenario often went something like this: one (or more) of the children would have a big project or a term paper due the next week. Instead of getting started right away (being planful), they sometimes complained and procrastinated. When they groaned about having to do all that work and thought that it was better to put it off until the weekend, I'd step in with a reward. If they completed the project or term paper before the weekend, we'd go to a Cubs game or another special event.

Suddenly everything changed! I'd hardly see them for the next four or five nights after dinner, as they worked on their projects and term papers until everything was done. The result was always far better than if they had stayed up late Sunday night for one long marathon session—and they were able to enjoy some fun as a reward.

The same incentive works for me as well. When I have a big project that looks like it will consume the weekend, Julie sometimes asks if I can find a way to get it done by Friday night. If so, then we can leave Saturday morning and drive to Lake Geneva, Wisconsin (a lovely resort town on a large lake) for the weekend. The thought of two relaxing days of fun is exactly the incentive I need to concentrate on getting the project done ahead of time.

The carrot, as the saying goes, is much more motivating than the stick. Whether you're rewarding someone else or yourself, don't underestimate the promise of fun to increase productivity and improve results.

Spontaneous Fun: The Gift of the Unexpected

Not that long ago, I was working in my office in downtown Chicago when a friend of mine called me. He and his wife had tickets to see the musical Mamma Mia! at a theater in Chicago. His wife, who was returning from a business trip, had just called to say her plane was delayed for several hours. Because there was no way his wife could make the show, my friend asked me if I wanted to go.

Until that moment, my plan had been to catch the next train home, but here was an opportunity to enjoy some spontaneous fun. Being planful, I had focused on my priorities for that day and had accomplished everything I needed to do. When I headed home later that night, I was energized and happy. I had a chance to catch up with my friend and an unexpected opportunity to see a show I really enjoy.

I had a similar experience recently while giving a speech in San Francisco. A friend heard I was coming to town and called to ask if I wanted to go to a Giants game. I had planned to fly back to Chicago right after my speech. After reviewing my schedule and priorities, I saw there was no reason I couldn't go to the game and take the red-eye back to Chicago.

Spontaneous fun is like winning the lottery. You don't have to make the arrangements or worry about the logistics. Instead, someone else provides you with an opportunity to have fun, and all you have to do is say yes. In many ways, that makes it twice as much fun.

Surprise Fun: The Joy of the Giver

With spontaneous fun, the gift lands unexpectedly in your lap, thanks to the generosity and thoughtfulness of someone else. With surprise fun, you're the one making the arrangements and being planful for someone else. Usually it's not spontaneous, like a last-minute invitation to a concert, play, or sporting event. It takes some real planning, and that's half the fun for you—while increasing the experience of fun for the other person.

Several years ago, on my mom's 80th birthday, my siblings and I decided to arrange a surprise for her: all five of us children, our spouses, and 14 grandchildren traveled from various parts of the country to Minnesota to surprise her. It took quite a bit of planning to find the best date for us all to be there, the logistics of traveling and finding places to stay, and arranging the restaurant for the surprise birthday dinner. We had to figure out how to get Mom there without her suspecting anything and keep a secret among 24 people. Definitely not easy!

When Mom walked into the restaurant and saw us all there, the look on her face was priceless. I still get emotional just thinking about that moment, how happy she was, and how thrilled all of us were that we'd brought her that joy. In the years since Mom passed away, my siblings and I often recall that surprise dinner. In retelling the story, we relive the experience, which re-creates the fun and makes that memory even more special.

Part of living a values-based life is to ensure that we're accumulating meaningful experiences and creating lasting memories. These moments may be funny childhood memories or poignant times with family and loved ones. Sometimes, it's a moment when our lives changed forever.

When Julie was in her senior year of college and I was working in Chicago, I drove to see her every other weekend. When winter break came, she went home to her parents' house in St. Paul, Minnesota, and I drove up to see her on the weekend, just before Christmas.

Since she was graduating in about six months, I suggested that Julie think about moving to Chicago to find a job.

Julie looked at me. “I don't think I'd just move to Chicago.”

All the way back to Chicago, I contemplated her reply. It was clear to me that Julie Jansen wasn't going to move away from her family and live in Chicago unless she had a real incentive. I also realized that if I wasn't smart about this, I could risk losing her. I had to do something—and that gave me an idea of how to surprise her.

I called Julie the following day to tell her that my brother Steve was going to be in St. Paul the next morning and would like to meet her for breakfast. Julie agreed to meet him at a particular restaurant at eight o'clock. I told her I'd get in touch with Steve to confirm the plan, and I'd see her in two weeks.

I drove all night to make it back to Minnesota in time. I parked a block from Julie's house and waited until I saw her walking toward the restaurant. Slowly, I pulled up next to Julie and called out the window. “Hi, Julie, how are you doing?”

Julie stopped and did a double take. “Steve? Harry? Steve?” (My brother and I look a lot alike.) Realizing it was me, Julie was genuinely surprised (and happy) to see me.

“You were just here,” she said. “Why did you come back so soon?”

I got out of the car and stood beside her on the snowy sidewalk. “I needed to talk to you about something,” I told her. “Will you marry me?”

Over the past 40 years, not a week has passed that I haven't thought about that moment. Julie and I reminisce about it, sometimes teasing each other. It was a very special shared moment, made all the better because it was a surprise for her.

Leveraged Fun: Shared Experiences Pay Dividends

The interconnected nature of our buckets often means that we can increase—or leverage—the benefits in more than one area. As I describe in chapter 6, when my children were younger, I often looked for ways to increase my family time by taking them with me to certain outings—such as going to a Cubs baseball game or a Chicago Bulls basketball game along with business associates and their children. The same happens with fun activities. An exercise class taken with friends can increase fun while also improving health. The same goes for watching a movie while I'm exercising on an elliptical—it's fun and I'm getting exercise.

This really isn't multitasking; it's finding ways to leverage activities for more benefits. In fact, this approach can even turn difficult chores into fun. A friend of mine described the unexpected fun she and her siblings had while cleaning out their family home after their parents died. The work was hard and dusty, and more than a little emotional. Taking the time to laugh and share memories, though, actually made it fun.

This is one of those moments when you can take care of more than one life bucket at a time—provided that you're really present and not just putting in an appearance.

Enriching Fun: Engaging Your Mind

Rounding out our list is another kind of fun: the kind that enriches and even teaches while also providing enjoyment. If you're a book lover, you know what I'm talking about. The thought of spending a few hours with your favorite author, a good plot, and engaging characters is fun and enriching. The same goes for seeing a museum exhibit, attending a play, or engaging in another cultural activity. These types of experiences can lift us out of our daily routines and expand our perceptions.

When shared with others, these experiences also generate dividends, just like leveraged fun. Going to a play or a movie with a friend and talking about it afterward can increase enjoyment for both of you and lead to deeper insights. The combination of fun and intellectual stimulation is one reason why people enjoy book clubs: it's social and enriching.