CHAPTER 11

Yes, You Are … Funny!

You have two ears and one mouth. Use them proportionately.

— EPICTETUS

If you have access to the Internet, let’s do something a little different for this chapter. I want you to pick a funny joke. You can search for one on your own, or just pick one of the ones that we have compiled for you at http://www.owntheroom.com/training/jokes. It’s a list of dozens of preapproved funny jokes on the Internet that are clean. (So, you won’t know any of them.)

Go ahead and read a couple, then pick one and memorize it.

Now share it out loud.

If you are in a public place, just turn to someone and say, “Can I tell you a joke?”

We all have different senses of humor. The people in your audience will always get your humor once they adjust to your personality. It just takes a few minutes for them to get to know you. But for humor to work, you have to let your personality out. You have to commit to being you.

During one of my early speaking engagements, while I was still a student, I was invited to travel to a private college in Chicago to receive a national award. There were a few thousand people in the audience, and at the time, the television game show Wheel of Fortune was popular. As I paused before beginning my acceptance speech, I looked out at the audience, took a breath, turned to the moderator, and said, “Um, can I buy a vowel if I need to?” Crickets. Not everything works, but at least I can laugh about it now!

Which brings us to the big question: Should you start your presentations with a joke?

The prospect of trying to be funny and failing or having a joke not work terrifies people, but humor is one of the most wonderful and effective forms of communication in a speaker’s toolbox. Jokes, stories, teasing the audience, letting the audience tease you—these are all techniques that you can weave through your presentation to drop your audience’s filters and connect with its members in a very human way.

You definitely want to use as much humor as you can. The secret is to use it when it makes sense. Many people tell me that they wish they could tell jokes. Trust me, anyone can tell a joke. Most people can’t remember the joke. This is what causes a joke to fall flat. You cannot possibly focus on how to tell the joke—timing, rhythm, and delivery— if you are trying to remember it. If you are going to use a joke in your presentation, your first step is to commit it to memory. This is the lesson taught by the great philosopher Marlin. (Nemo’s dad, the clownfish, in the movie Finding Nemo.)

The next step in perfecting a joke is to practice your delivery. Watch some videos of your favorite comedians and notice their technique. You will find very little weak language, and a great use of pauses. These comedians have practiced their performances over and over again, and they’re enjoying what they’re doing while they’re doing it.

What do you have to get right to tell a joke well? Everything. One of the most perfect forms of communication we humans have is a story, and one of the most perfect forms of a story is a joke.

Great comedians also base their material on what they find funny. They notice something about everyday life that amuses them.

“Why do we drive on parkways and park in driveways?”

They then perfect the art of sharing their amusement with the audience by practicing their timing, tone, and body language. Because of mirror neurons, the audience shares the comedian’s amusement and finds what he is saying to be funny. When you’re working humor into your presentations, start with what you find funny and laugh with the audience.

College students are more likely to remember a statistical lecture when the professor includes relevant jokes about the topic.

Like many of the people who have attended my training sessions, Ann, a marketing vice president with a major firm, shared her personal horror story of trying, unsuccessfully, to start her presentation with a joke:

What Is Not So Funny

Here’s a conversation that occurred during a training in Dubai:

With jokes that target a specific group of people, it is crucially important that you know your audience very well, and that you are very careful. When you offend someone, the person you offended can keep his filters up for a very long time. He won’t hear or remember anything else you say.

I have seen speakers casually make fun of gays, Republicans, and Democrats for no apparent reason or gain, just trying to be funny. Some of these jokes did get some laughs, but trust me, the people who were turned off will stay turned off. Sexual orientation, race, ethnicity, gender, politics, religion—these are personal issues. You do not want to risk offense with jokes about certain groups of people. Even if I am not a member of a group, I can be offended by your offending them.

Let’s use politics as an example. Unless you are speaking at the Democratic or Republican convention, be careful with putting down or ridiculing other political views just to be funny. I guarantee you that in almost any audience, there will be people who are politically more to the left or the right than you would assume or guess. (And, should you be addressing a political convention, as some of my clients have, do remember that most of the people watching you at home on television are independents.) You cannot assume that you know the political, religious, or social views of your audience. Why turn off your audience for no reason or benefit?

The one possible exception to this rule is when you make fun of yourself or your “own group,” but you must still be very careful. This type of delicate humor requires particular skill, and can easily backfire, with unfortunate effects.

Another type of humor where people often unintentionally undercut themselves is in using self-deprecating humor. Again, making fun of yourself can be a very effective way of connecting with your audience, but you don’t want to cross the line into undermining your own authority or competence.

In attempting to use humor, here are examples of phrases you never want to say:

I need to bore you with some logistics. Even though you are joking, you don’t want them to ever associate the word boring with you.

If I had more time, I would go into … Don’t make excuses. Fit your content to the time you have.

I am really nervous right now. It’s nice to be authentic and open, but it’s outweighed by putting all the focus on you—away from the audience.

I didn’t pick this joke. You are qualifying and undercutting yourself before you start.

SUMMARY

Humor is one of the most effective tools in the speaker’s toolbox. Don’t be afraid to use it.

Give your audience members the chance to realize that you are funny. It may take a few jokes before they get it.

Memorize a joke before you tell it to an audience. Most people who fall flat do so because they are struggling to remember the joke.

Avoid jokes that make fun of individual groups of people or involve sensitive topics like politics and religion.

Practice

Select a joke that makes you laugh. Memorize it. Practice telling the joke to your family, friends, or coworkers. Work on your timing and tone. Once it gets a good laugh, you have it down for life. Over time, add to your repertoire.