CHAPTER 13

Make It Special

If you don’t know what you want to achieve in your presentation, your audience never will.

— HARVEY DIAMOND

There is a term in economics called discretionary income. It is the amount of money from your paycheck that is left over after you pay all your bills. Once you have paid for your mortgage or rent, utilities, groceries, car, and other necessities, discretionary income is what’s left over to buy new clothes or go on a vacation. You can spend this money any way you want. It’s at your discretion.

For the purpose of our individual careers, let’s make up a term called discretionary effort. Each of us has a certain amount of work we have to do to perform our job. We are capable of accomplishing much more when we want to—when we are motivated. It is at our discretion to find and give that extra effort.

A frequent question during our training sessions is, “What can I do to make my presentations special?”

I usually respond to this question with a wonderful exercise that I learned from my friend Cory Booker, New Jersey’s new U.S. senator. He didn’t invent it, and we know that Facebook’s Sheryl Sandberg used it long before he did, but none of us knows who invented it. But it works, so here we go.

Hold this book in one hand, and with your free hand, reach up as high as you can.

Now reach three centimeters higher.

Wait a minute! I said, “as high as you can” the first time.

If you are like most people, you were able to find those extra three centimeters. Where did you find them? Even when you thought you had already reached as high as you could, you found that you had more in you. You could reach higher, and it wasn’t that hard to do.

More important question: Why did you reach an extra three centimeters?

You did it simply because I asked.

Most people think the power of leadership is making brilliant statements, but the real power of leadership is sometimes asking powerful short questions.

We all make brilliant statements from time to time, but power also comes from asking simple questions.

There is always more in you. Now it is your job to ask yourself: “What can I do to reach another few centimeters, to make it different or special?”

Regardless of how polished or rough around the edges you are at this point in your speaking career, there is always room to grow. No one can ever reach his full potential in a field like communications because there is always more to do. There is no upper limit; your potential is limitless.

Those three extra centimeters are the difference between good and great—in communication, in life, or in just about any endeavor that you attempt. A few percentage points can be the difference between a number one and a number two market share. A few seconds can be the difference between an Olympic gold medal and not even making the finals.

In the long run, men hit only what they aim at. Therefore, they better hit at something high.

— HENRY DAVID THOREAU

When you are preparing your presentations, you need to sit back and think, “What can I do to make this a little different, to give it more impact? What could provide that extra oomph? What would make my presentation stand out?”

Every time you see something work for somebody else in a meeting or a presentation, file it away in your memory until you have the chance to try it. Maybe it will work for you and maybe it won’t. Who cares? Risk taking and being willing to test your creativity are part of those three extra centimeters. When a new technique or idea works for you a few times, it will become part of your toolbox for building great presentations.

You don’t own these techniques by learning them. You’re just renting them. You own new techniques after you do them a few times in front of a live audience and they work.

Many of the executives I coach are very no-nonsense, cut-to-the-chase, get-to-the-bottom-line types of people. They like what they’re hearing during training, but they want a solution for improving their presentations that is quick and to the point. Andrew, a friend, approached me during a training once and asked me to give him just one tip to improve his meetings.

If you do something different each time you conduct a meeting or give a presentation, the people in your audience will become more engaged. They will start to look for what you are going to do next, and they will arrive at the meeting interested and enthusiastic. Their filters will be down even before you start to speak.

You have to take risks and push boundaries. Of course, by its very definition, a risk can backfire or not work out well. When you introduce a new technique into your presentation, you must be prepared for it to feel awkward and uncomfortable at first. It will take some time before it feels natural. The first time you pass a prop around, for example, it just may not go well. You will get subtle signals from your audience that the technique is not working, or you may get a look that says, “Cute, but let’s not do that again.”

That is not a reason to give up. You can figure out why the technique didn’t work and make adjustments or adaptations, but do not abandon it. Fine-tune it, practice it, and work out the kinks, but don’t just stop. Soon you will have a reputation for being creative, professional, and very effective in your communication.

If you are worried that a new technique won’t work the first time you try it, I can magically remove that worry. Often, it doesn’t work. You feel uncomfortable, and the technique doesn’t land right. This is one of the big advantages of attending a training class, either in person or online. A couple of repetitions and you will have it down, so that when you do it in real life, you stick that landing.

There’s no such thing as trying too hard. People who try to do too much right away and try too hard to do techniques that they are not quite mastering are the ones who progress the fastest. It’s okay to make mistakes, and it’s okay to make those mistakes faster.

Be constantly on the lookout for that delicate balance between professionalism and innovation; structure and creativity; results and process. Trust your instincts, and be faster to act on them. Here again, I like to use the analogy of rowing a boat. You need to have two oars in the water. If you have only one oar moving, you will go in circles. If you have structure, but you don’t get people thinking creatively, you will go in circles and never move forward. If you get people thinking creatively, but you don’t have structure, you will circle in the other direction. You need both if you are to move forward.

Many of the techniques, tools, and skills that we need if we are to be effective in our public speaking and communication are applicable to being an effective leader and, perhaps most important, to our lives in general. The world does not give you permission to be your full and best self. Most people are like fast sports cars driven with the hand brake on. Release your brake. “But, what if I hit the curb?”

Our senior coach, Mikkel Kloster, gave this tune-up to a race car named John:

Hit some curbs. You will recover.

There is no secret conspiracy to hold you back, but there might as well be, because it works like one. The resistance you encounter is a mile wide but an inch thick. Break through. Communication is about leadership, and leadership is about courage. The more you do something—in this case, the more you work to constantly improve your presentations—the easier it will get.

The world generally stops caring about your development when you finish school. When we are in school, we have parents, teachers, and professors who instruct and correct us, but when our formal schooling is done, that support can come to a sudden, if not obvious, end. It is as if the world says, “This one is finished. Release it into the wild!”

Now you have to be the CEO of your own potential; the Dean of your own classes, semester and degrees in life skills you want. You have to chart your own course for learning. You have to be assertive and dedicated to make happen for yourself what you want to have happen. Do you want to become a good dancer or learn a new computer application, sport, or language? You can do it, and you have many options available to you for accomplishing it, but you have to make it happen. You have to take the initiative.

Occasionally, we are lucky enough to have a friend, boss, or company that creates structured learning opportunities for us, so that we can grow. We should be grateful for these opportunities, but they are rare. If you are waiting for the world to see your potential and chart a path for you, or if you think that the jungle is going to open up and a yellow brick road is going to form just for you, you may have a very long wait. You must choose your own destination, and then forge your path yourself.

The next time you feel that the world is not giving you permission to be your full self, what should you do? The answer is simple: be brilliant anyway. You do not need a letter from Mom pinned to your shirt reminding you to be brilliant, but here’s one from motivational speaker and author Marianne Williams:

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, “Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?” Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone.

Who are you to be brilliant? Who are you not to be?

SUMMARY

Always reach for those three extra centimeters. Ask yourself, what can I do to make this presentation different? How can I make it special?

If you do something different each time you give a presentation, you will build a reputation for being a dynamic speaker, and the people in your audience will arrive with their filters down.

Take responsibility for your own growth and improvement, and give yourself permission to be brilliant. The world is not going to give it to you.

Notice little things, and try new things.