Chapter 17
Career Plan Step #7: Identify Both Personal and Professional Barriers to Your Success
All the adversity I've had in my life, all my troubles and obstacles, have strengthened me… You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you.
—Walt Disney
Kay's boss has been promoted to a new department and she desperately wants his job. Her oldest daughter leaves for college in a year and the extra money would be a welcome addition to help pay for her daughter's tuition. Kay is excellent at her job and is known as one of the most knowledgeable workers in the department. The problem with Kay getting the promotion is that she never earned the certification needed to qualify her for a manager position in her field of work. She regrets not having dedicated the six months required to earn the certification and realizes now that her lack of preparation and planning may have cost her the position.
Jason makes a good living. He has recently been placed on probation because of his angry outbursts and personal attacks directed toward his co-workers. When Jason hears of a pricing mistake one of his employees made, he walks out of his office ready to let him have it. He knows he should choose a different behavior but he doesn't. He heads straight for the employee's cubicle getting angrier with every stride.
Katelyn is stressed out at work and can barely make it through the day. She has been dealing with her stress by overeating and has gained 30 pounds in the last two months. Appearance is important in her Silicon Valley job. Katelyn can't believe she is doing this to herself and that she has limited self-control. Hating herself, she drives to the fast-food drive-thru and orders two hamburgers, fries, and a chocolate milk shake to top it off. She promises herself she will start eating healthily and exercising “tomorrow.”
Spencer doesn't like Jennifer. They haven't been able to get along since they started working together three years ago. Every opportunity Spencer gets, he throws Jennifer under the bus. Spencer found out that Jennifer has applied for a position in another department. This promotion would come with a raise and a bigger office. Spencer is friends with the hiring manager, so he decides to make a phone call and ruin any chance Jennifer ever had at getting the promotion.
We have all done things in our careers that we wondered—what were we thinking? How could I have done that? How could I have sabotaged what I want? On the flip side, sometimes it is another person or the organization we work in that is to blame for our barriers. (In Jennifer's example, Spencer was her barrier to success.) It seems there are barriers that constantly stop us from progressing and reaching our goals. To overcome these barriers, it is important to first recognize what may be holding you back, both internally, as well as externally. Once you have identified the barrier, you can then choose the action to overcome it.
Internal Barriers
We complain about life's hardships and barriers when, in reality, the most fortified ones are those we put up ourselves. It is a sad but very true statement that we are our own worst enemies. The thoughts we think every day and the actions and behaviors we exhibit move us closer to or farther from what we want to accomplish. Years ago, I didn't believe that our internal barriers and perceptions could have such a profound impact on our decisions and potential for success. I couldn't have been more wrong in my thinking.
When I started my doctorate program, I walked into my very first class, sat down, and quickly began comparing myself. So many bright, young students (there weren't any other mid-30-year-olds!) were in the class. The longer I sat there, the more I convinced myself that I was out of my league. I was going to fail. I wasn't smart enough and my idea of going back to school with a wife, four children, and a full-time job was ludicrous. On the first break, I packed my bag, and walked directly to my car, intending to leave. As I sat in the car feeling sorry for myself, I made a decision that has had a lasting impact on the rest of my life. I decided I wasn't going to be the one to determine if I should be there or not, I would give it my all and then I would let my professors make that decision. It was the best thing I ever did, because they never kicked me out! Not only that, I was also able to contribute in class discussions in a unique way because of my corporate experience.
By focusing on my perceived personal inadequacies (negative thinking), I almost dropped out of graduate school. When I chose to give my best effort (positive thinking), I opened the door to future success.
The largest and most difficult internal barrier we face is fear. (See Chapter 3.) It is important to note that fear is the basis for most of the internal barriers we will discuss, so the skill of identifying your fears is key to overcoming the barriers that are holding you back. Remember, it doesn't matter so much what the barrier is; what matters is developing the ability to overcome it.
Internal Barriers to Overcome
Lack of Focus
Your inability to focus on the most important tasks may be one of your internal barriers. You stay so busy all the time that you “major in minor things” and don't spend time and effort on what matters most. By daily focusing on your priorities, you'll be more likely to take the necessary actions that will move you quickly toward your most important goals.
Your Comfort Zone
You are not growing and achieving if you are in your comfort zone. Don't get me wrong when I say I love my comfort zone. Who doesn't? Yet, your comfort zone may actually be a pleasant prison that is keeping you from moving forward. Doing what is most UNcomfortable is what takes you as an individual beyond mediocrity and makes you the type of person who can accomplish hard things.
Expectations
You have expectations for everything. You have expectations of what should happen on your birthday and how people should treat you at a nice restaurant. You have expectations of your boss, your organization, and those you love. Beware of expectations in your career and life, especially of areas in which you have little to no control. What you expect to happen may not occur or someone may not follow through. Don't let unfulfilled expectations get in the way of your success. Focus instead on the things over which you do have control.
Doubt
Creating a career plan is always a fun activity. The thought of creating your future career and life always gets people motivated. It is when they begin to put those plans into action that problems and barriers begin to show up. This is when doubt makes its appearance. Doubt gets you to question whether or not you can accomplish your plan. Doubt listens to the naysayers. Doubt listens to your fears. If you begin to doubt, the door is open for you to convince yourself the effort and hard work isn't worth it; you weren't going to succeed anyway. (Okay, that sentence was hard to write because it was so negative.) Don't let doubt ruin your plan. Stick with it, believe in yourself, and quiet those doubting voices.
Waiting for Just the “Right” Time
This is my favorite go-to excuse when I want to avoid something. It's much too easy to procrastinate. I convince myself that the timing isn't right, and if I can just get things more organized, more prepared, or if I work on my plan for a bit longer, then I will be ready to move into action. Except that will never happen because the right time is never going to come! The right moment is not in the future; it is now. The right time to work toward getting that promotion, getting the new position, or making those changes is the very moment you think about it. The right time is right now.
External Barriers
The list gets even longer when we move from internal to external barriers. While I have talked about many of these in past chapters, let's bring them out for a quick review. Your external barriers may include:
- A lack of qualifications
- A lack of experience
- A lack of the necessary education
- The inability to relocate for a promotion or new job
- A bad branding you've created for yourself
- A lack of necessary social skills
- A negative work environment
- Working with all the wrong people
- The office politics are not in your favor
- A negative office culture
- Being in trouble in the past
- Co-workers who don't like you
- A lack of the right network or connections
The list could go on for another 10 pages but you get the point. The important next step is identifying your own internal and external barriers. If you feel like you can't do this on your own, then find a close friend or loved one and have an open discussion on what he or she perceives are your barriers. This discussion will get your thoughts flowing and hopefully open the floodgates to help you learn more about yourself.
Identify and List the Top Five Internal Barriers That Stop You from Achieving Your Goals
Identify and List the Top Five External Barriers That Are Keeping You from Succeeding
The Holy Grail of Barrier Busting
Now that you have identified your internal and external barriers and come face to face with the hard truth, it is time to learn how to overcome those barriers. This life-changing three-step process may seem simple, but can make a real impact on your ability to overcome barriers. The first step is to detach yourself from the emotion that each barrier causes. When we come up against these barriers, we can get angry, upset, hurt, or feel rejected. When these emotions surface, it is important to separate the emotions we are feeling from the barrier we are facing.
Todd is a good example of detaching from the emotion. I met Todd while working on a project and immediately knew he was intelligent and a doer. Todd had one flaw, though. He felt like he was never heard in management meetings. After an important meeting, Todd approached me visibly upset because he had been interrupted and passed over before he was able to complete his comments. We discussed why he was being overpowered in these meetings, what he could do about it, and how to detach the angry emotions associated with the problem. His next meeting couldn't have gone better. “I didn't get angry when I was interrupted. I just found another hole in the conversation to insert myself in,” Todd reported back. As you implement this three-step process, the emotions may not go away, but you can choose to deal with them differently.
The second step is to change our perception of the barrier. Instead of looking at the barrier as an enemy that is destroying our chances for success, look at the barrier as the way to your success. How can this barrier help you, teach you, and prepare you for success? Look through the lens of positivity and see how this barrier is moving you closer to your end goal.
Two departments were combined in a corporate restructuring. They didn't like each other because in the past they had sold competing products to the same customer base. I was brought in to help them overcome these barriers to the success of their combined department. I quickly identified that each department had complementary skills and knowledge. I helped them recognize that by working together, they could quickly increase their success with customers. As they changed their past perceptions, they were able to see the potential benefits of the newly reorganized department and were then able to work together amicably.
The third step is to take action to overcome the barrier. Remember in high school or college when you had a research paper due and all the dread that accompanied the assignment? You knew you should start the paper weeks before it was due, but it seemed overwhelming and you were busy with other classwork. You didn't know where to begin and you figured you had more time tomorrow. Then one or two days before the paper was due, you finally got started and found it wasn't as nearly as big or as difficult as you imagined it would be. The same goes for your barriers. Once you begin to take action to overcome them, they won't seem so ominous and overwhelming. Take one or two significant actions and watch how your perception changes in relation to the barrier. The key is to start. By taking just one action, you'll realize that you have the ability to overcome what is stopping you.
Steps to Overcoming Your Barriers
Step One is to identify what negative emotion is connected to the barrier, then to detach from that emotion when confronting the barrier.
Step Two is to change your perception of the barrier. How is this barrier going to help you succeed?
Step Three is to identify the immediate action you are going to face and overcome the barrier.
Write down each of your barriers and the steps you need to take to overcome them.
Example Barrier: Anger
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Step One Detach from feeling hurt that others got the promotion you wanted Step Two Maybe I prefer a lower-stress job with less responsibility anyway Step Three Take on a small project with a little more responsibility to see whether I like it or not
Your Barrier
- Step One
- Step Two
- Step Three
Your Barrier
- Step One
- Step Two
- Step Three
Your Barrier
- Step One
- Step Two
- Step Three