Chapter 4
In This Chapter
Creating great coaching conversations
Knowing your client’s business
Managing client sessions
Working with frameworks
Supporting clients in particular circumstances
Skills and knowledge are often underestimated in the world of coaching.
Whether it’s face-to-face webinars, online courses, reading, practice groups, supervision, coach mentoring or personal coaching, do whatever it takes to develop your practice for you and for your clients. ‘Whatever it takes’ doesn’t mean you have to follow the latest fad sold to you by someone who swears that her practice has improved twentyfold since she went into the forest with a sensory awareness group and danced around a fire pit calling in the spirit of the goddess of coaching. No matter how much people try to convince you, these kinds of activities aren’t a requirement in the world of business coaching and mentoring.
In this chapter, we set out some of the things we know work in developing your skills and experience to support business clients. Our aim is to give you a flavour of what you need to know and what you need to be able to do well.
Although we cover both coaching and mentoring in this chapter, they are not the same thing. A coach supports clients to achieve their articulated outcomes or wants and helps them gain clarity around their measures of success and the impact of achieving what they want. A coach helps her clients to focus on ‘the how’ of delivering those wants in ways that align with the clients’ values and current or future operating context.
Mentoring is more appropriately used when a client needs to learn a specific set of skills, acquire particular knowledge or needs wise counsel from a more experienced person over a period of time. Table 4-1 highlights the differences between the two roles.
Table 4-1 Mentoring and Coaching: The Difference in Emphasis
Mentoring |
Coaching |
On-going relationship usually over a long period |
Relationship of set duration and regularly recontracting |
More informal – when mentee needs advice/support or for a specific duration and purpose |
Structured, planned; regular interventions |
Mentor chosen for experience or knowledge in a particular area |
Coach chosen largely for facilitative skill, coaching experience and understanding of how to help individuals and groups self-maximise contribution in a particular context |
Agenda set by mentee whose learning requirement drives the mentoring goals; outcome framework may be set by a sponsor |
Agenda focused on meeting specific imminent goals and can be set by the coachee or sponsor responsible for the intervention |
Focus more on professional development |
Focus more on support to determine specific development or solutions |
The differences between coaching and mentoring can be subtle. Clarity at the outset and at the contracting stage ensures that clients know what they can expect.
The key skills used within coaching are skills that you have used all your life, such as listening, questioning, state management and speaking. The differences between coaching and everyday conversations are in the intensity and quality of your listening, the structure of the conversation, the quality of the questions and the focus of attention on clarity, insight and outcome. The skills of coaching are evident throughout this book. Doing some kind of coaching skills health check can really help coaches, mentors and leaders who coach. The self-assessment questionnaire in Chapter 1 is useful for even the most experienced coaches and mentors to help you reflect from time to time.
Some practical things can help in any coaching intervention, whether it’s a face-to-face session, a telephone session, video, Skype or email. Make sure you review notes, remind yourself of coaching objectives and think about the session. Getting prepared in terms of your physical and mental state are important too.
The mentoring relationship is slightly different from the coaching relationship. Yes, you need to be present and listen actively, but the balance of conversation is different in mentoring. Mentors elicit less and illustrate, support and advise more than coaches do. So while mentors need a growth mind-set that is focused on the ability of the mentee to learn, you need to be on alert with your particular knowledge and experience at the ready. The mentee is looking to you for guidance, so the eliciting and listening needs to be focused around the issues you are mentoring on, particularly if you’re mentoring around a specialist area.
When we’re mentoring, the mentoring is usually around some kind of thinking activity such as helping someone devise a situational response or helping her understand and apply a proven methodology for handling something. The balance is more towards actively signposting and advising the mentee rather than resourcing her to find the answer herself.
In mentoring, the mentor is sharing experience, knowledge, networks and ideas generation with the mentee. Mentors need to contract with a client, work within a model/framework and help clients get clear on any actions they may take as a result of the session.
Coaches and mentors need to have a strong set of skills to manage session time well and to help their clients get the most from their time and make shifts in their thinking and approach. We walk you through each of these in this section. All these skills need to be honed and utilised to support clients effectively.
In coaching, turning up for a session isn’t being present. A lamp post can be present. Looking or sounding interested isn’t enough either. A devoted dog can do that if you dangle the smell of a treat in its path. Presence is about being fully engaged with a client, and it demands everything of the coach. It’s about full-on attention in body, heart and mind. Yes, we used the heart word. If a coach is physically there and has all her intellectual and thinking faculties on alert but has no emotional connection with her client’s experience, the situation is like going to a doctor and getting a prescription drug without any acknowledgement that you have a pain that impacts you. Don’t leave your compassion at home when you work in business – you’re trying to help people create businesses that people love to do business with!
Business leaders are busy. Their coaching session can be one of the rare opportunities they get to stop and think in a focused way with another person. Part of the job is to help clients remove distractions and slow down the pace for a while so they can focus and get something from their session.
Being present in mentoring is obviously as important as in coaching. You need to come to the conversation well prepared, but the emotional distance is greater in mentoring.
Listening in coaching isn’t listening for the sake of just hearing or listening to respond, which is what we do in most conversations. You’re actively listening. When you actively listen, you focus only on the client and on listening fully. You’re listening in order to understand the client’s story, her dilemma and the issues she wants to address. You’re listening for language, assumptions, generalisations, beliefs, facts and emotions. Listen for passion, panic, perception and pause. You also need to listen intently and be able to summarise what the client has told you. The client needs to know she has been heard for you to serve her well.
The client deserves your absolute attention in order to:
Part of your job is helping clients see themselves and their behaviour. You can’t be a mirror of sparkling clarity unless your focus is entirely directed at your client. When your client says ‘I think the suit was all wrong; they were dressed quite casually. I think they might take me for someone who is a bit too formal’, you need to be in a position to say, ‘It sounds like the presentation went well, and the investors loved the product. You have worked so hard to get here over the last four years. Your team are so excited to hear if you have secured funds to expand. They’re all behind you on this. Sounds like you’ve done a great job. So when they’re so supportive and behind you, why are you preoccupied about whether they’re judging your suit?’
Contracting can be complex. Clients sometimes contract for a period of coaching, start the process and then overtly change their mind about what they want help with. Alternatively, a new and deeper, often more impactful issue emerges in the conversation. Clients may have been aware of the secondary issue (which is probably the primary issue) at the point of contracting, or the issue was something they were not consciously aware of. So why does it emerge? There may be several reasons. Trust and space stand out. It takes time for a coach to gain rapport with clients and for clients to trust enough to state the real issues they want to coach around. This situation is quite normal, and coaches need to be ready for it.
When any of us slow down and focus on things impacting us in business life, the mere fact that we create the space to think invites the possibility that other issues may show up.
Flexibility in coaching and on the part of the coach is imperative. Enabling a coachee to trust in the process and consider sessions as a continuum rather than one-off events can really help people look in the places they never considered initially.
If you want to support people in business, particularly at executive levels where decisions get taken about direction, strategy, resources, risk and rewards, you need to understand business and the language of business.
The depth of that knowledge really depends on the type and level of engagement you are looking for with clients. Ask yourself: What kind of clients do I want to work with? Do I want to specialise in a particular sector, an area of business, a subject area or defined niche? Do I want to work in territory or globally? Understanding your own ideal customer is key. If you think about your customers and the level at which they operate and want support, what does this indicate for you?
The following would be useful knowledge to have:
Getting really clear on this beneficial knowledge can help you develop your coaching practice, target sessions with specific emphasis and identify your own learning. It would be hard to work in parts of China if you don’t speak Mandarin, and you’ll find it equally hard to coach in business if you don’t understand business.
An experienced coach doesn’t necessarily need exposure in a particular type of business niche to coach people in that business; clients know that themselves. However, knowing how a business operates, the language of business, how to read an annual report, understanding organisational reporting requirements in overview and the generic features of domestic and global business is useful and gives credibility.
If you are supporting around a specific professional area, keep your professional membership requirements up to date. If you are coaching global teams, make sure you read, ask and stay open to the different cultural norms inherent in a mixed group. Work with individual preferences as much as practically possible, bearing in mind the cultural context and operating environment of the parent company. If you normally coach in the pharmaceutical industry and get a contract to coach in a hospital setting, research the roles, structures and operating environment.
Planning sessions before sitting in front of a client is important, particularly at the outset of contracting and when ending a coaching relationship. In between, the structuring needs to be more of a review of notes, some consideration of what works with the client and a reminder of what her contracted needs were at the outset of coaching. The rest of the session time needs to be client led.
Managing your coaching mind-set means ensuring that you are relaxed yet alert before a coaching session starts. Coming from a mind-set of openness, learning and growth for the duration of the session really helps it along. Remember that your role is to be in service to the client. Stopping before a session to prepare before you start the face-to-face or pick up the telephone is the first step; simply stop for five to ten minutes to clear your mind of distractions and commit to focus only on the client in front of you. Grounding your state irrespective of what has been going on for you just before the session is an essential part of being in service to your client.
Whether coaching individually or in groups, the agreement about why, what, where, when, who and how much needs to be absolutely clear. Getting this clarity up front saves any confusion or surprises at a later date. Your agreement needs to be in writing and in plain language. Table 4-2 shows, at minimum, what the agreement should include and who is responsible for following through with each issue.
Table 4-2 Issues to Address in a Coaching Contract
Issue |
Coach Responsibility |
Client Responsibilty |
Confidentiality |
✓ |
✓ |
Ethics and standards regarding conduct and retention of information |
✓ |
|
Well-being and boundaries of responsibility |
✓ |
✓ |
Limits of liability and notification of indemnity insurance |
✓ |
|
Who the agreement is with, fees and payment terms |
✓ |
|
Length of coaching period, frequency of sessions and session arrangements |
✓ |
✓ |
Outline of coaching requirement |
✓ |
✓ |
Outline of services and length of programme |
✓ |
✓ |
Cancellation and penalties |
✓ |
✓ |
Commitment to the work outside of sessions |
✓ |
Disclaimer: This list isn’t exhaustive and does not represent advice on the part of the authors or publisher.
If you already have a structure for managing sessions, you may want to check that the elements listed in Table 4-2 are covered.
In addition, the agreement should reflect a flavour of your brand and of how you like to work. We say more about developing your brand in Chapter 13.
The first session with your client can reasonably be split into three parts: domestics, respecting the relationship and difference making.
It seems too simple to say that you need to pay attention to the coaching environment and to make it conducive to effective coaching, but we have heard tell of people coaching in unsuitable environments so often that it’s worthy of a mention here.
In simple terms, this relationship is professional and, even though many a business deal is made on a golf course, we recommend that unless you are coaching or mentoring clients on their swing, it isn’t a conducive environment. At its simplest level, the client is distracted by the game, and you can’t possibly be fully present in the coaching if you are worrying about winning and upsetting your high-achieving competitive client.
Some simple dos for managing an environment:
All coaches are not equal. There. We’ve said it. In the world of personal and professional development where we like to find the best in everyone and want people to be resourceful and successful, we shy away from saying such things. Truth is, we’re like wine. A spectrum exists from supermarket plonk to fine reserve produced by Trappist monks on a secluded mountaintop accessible by swing bridge where only five bottles are released every 20 years. We may think that we’re the reserve, we may promote ourselves as the reserve, we may charge fees closer to the reserve price, and … we don’t always know if those nearer the plonk provider end of the spectrum are providing a reserve experience at a plonk price. What we do know is that some people think they’re getting the reserve experience because the price is nearer to the price of the bottle with the Trappist monk picture on it. However, some clients are getting reserve standard wine at the plonk price because some great coaches don’t know how to run a business or because, quite simply, they undervalue the difference they make.
The client must understand what they’re paying for. It serves coaches well to get comfortable explaining their credentials, and it serves clients well to get comfortable asking about them. Experience, qualifications, training and professional background are important. Of all these, experience is the most important. By that we don’t just mean coaching hours (which are important); we mean the experience of the clients the coach has worked with and the impact the coach has had. Recognising the boundaries of experience and knowing when a coach is punching above her weight is important. Taking a client that you’re not yet a ‘skills and experience fit’ to coach can be a disaster. Knowing when to say ‘No, this isn’t my area of expertise, of comfort, of confidence, of competence’ is important.
A coaching model is simply a process framework that coaches use to give some structure to coach within. Models can be useful to help keep sessions on track. Think of coaching as a way of enabling clients to be even more resourceful and models being the method you use to help clients navigate their way around an issue. The more you can use simple models, the easier it is for clients to learn a process or two to help them resolve issues when you’re not around.
You can find literally thousands of coaching models. (A US search engine found 94 million references to the term ‘coaching model’.) You need a couple of good tools to help you stay on track and manage session time effectively. In business, you’re working with busy people who want results fast.
You’ll find it useful to have more than one model in your toolkit to support clients in different situations or handling different types of issue. Sometimes clients with a particular learning style relate to a particular model of coaching more easily. In our experience, IT specialists, scientists and doctors seem to relate well to solution-focused techniques, whereas those with a more active learning style tend to prefer a more narrative approach such as the CLEAR model. This is just an observation, however, not a rule. We outline two models below that can be used in individual or group coaching.
Peter Hawkins at Bath Consultancy Group developed the CLEAR model in the early 1980s. Like many coaching models, this model is defined using acronyms. It has five stages or elements (see Figure 4-1):
This model is effective for supporting a person in situ in an operational situation. It can easily be used to identify a way forward to an emergent issue/problem, which is current and immediate. The model is useful for generating ideas, helping a client see a situation differently or identifying and assessing possible alternatives.
Solution-focused coaching helps people see the range of possible solutions open to them and how they can take action to achieve that solution. It can be particularly useful when a client is finding it difficult to discuss the content of a situation or perceives the problem as overwhelming and can’t break it down into its component parts.
The question for the coach in solution-focused work isn’t ‘Where is the client coming from, and what is the issue she is facing?’; it’s more like, ‘Where is the client aiming to get to, and what steps can she take to get there?’
The coach supports the client by working through these four steps:
This model is simple and can be used quickly if a client has limited time. It also works well as a self-coaching tool. We often teach clients how to use the model themselves and with their teams. It can be used in group coaching where a group is focused on the delivery of a change outcome or introducing a new product for example.
As a fan of the mnemonic, co-author Marie has used the following model in training mentors to think about their role. It acts as a useful aide memoire and is similar in structure to the CLEAR model, described earlier in this chapter. The model is simple, and we like simple.
In the following mentoring model, the mentor leads and manages the session around six stages (coaches and mentors do love a series of stages and steps).
The mentee typically brings an issue. The mentoring session opens up with ideas and sharing, and moves through examination of likely scenarios. The difference in mentoring as opposed to coaching is in the amount of personal experience the mentor shares from her own professional life. The mentor uses her experience to highlight the issues the mentee needs to consider and helps the mentee think through his options and proposed actions. The mentee produces a clear plan of action.
The beauty of coaching models is that when you have a few under your belt, you can mix them up and identify what works with your client. We have mentioned several models throughout this book. We invite you to mix them up and notice what works for your client. Even with the two models outlined in this chapter, you can insert a bit of solution focus into the CLEAR model. You can mix models readily when looking at exploring what may be required or at the action stage when defining the how of getting things moving forward.
The invitation is to use coaching models like a knickerbocker glory ice cream rather than four flavours in single cones. This mixture is how business operates. It doesn’t play out in a vanilla fashion. Business is more like chocolate chip and raspberry ripple mixed in with a few bits of rocky road biscuit and a few nuts!
Coaching business leaders can be difficult to manage, given their operating circumstances and work patterns. This difficulty is even more evident if they are operating across time zones in a multi-site or global environment. Equally, if you are working with leaders from a different culture or operating across cultures, you need to actively consider this. Whatever the method, remember to keep it professional and give your client time. You are engaged in a conversation, not a transaction.
Sometimes you need to use different methods of coaching to meet the client’s needs. The following sections outline a few practical things you can do.
When your client isn’t sitting in front of you, create the conditions to act as if she is. If you’re running a session on the phone or email, aim for the following if you can:
In short, acknowledge what you are doing to facilitate the client’s thinking.
Your active listening skills need to be on high alert when you use the phone for coaching. You are not simply listening for the words but for any pauses that may indicate confusion, discontent or some other emotion. When you sense something is interrupting the client’s thoughts, it’s useful to check. You could ask, ‘Is your hesitation because you need a minute to pause and think, or for another reason?’
When people are face to face, you can coach them through a range of scenarios and steps easily. When Marie is coaching on the telephone, she often suggests that a client pops the phone down for ten minutes to write out quick ideas in a mind map or bullet points. This activity can be useful if clients want to generate a communication piece or would like to walk through a conversation they intend to have with a third party. It can be more effective to use a teleconference service so you can stay on the line and have the client dial back in when she is ready.
While videoconference is preferable to email and telephone coaching, it only works for the client if you can guarantee a reliable connection. Marie once tried to get a signal using the Bluetooth connection via her phone to power a connection to Skype on a laptop in the middle of the Arizona desert. Not her finest coaching hour.
While email coaching isn’t ideal because so much can be misinterpreted without the rapport-building that happens face to face or through the voice, some coaches and clients prefer it.
To coach on email well, you need to be good at using language and spotting deletions, distortions, assumptions and generalisations (see Chapter 5). Getting good at reframing written sentences quickly helps too. Resisting the temptation to shorten sentences in our increasingly sound bite, fast-focused world needs to be considered.
You probably notice a world of difference between
I think you’re saying that Mary is causing a real problem in your team.
And
So I can understand that Mary’s work isn’t at the level you would like, and she isn’t delivering to target at the moment.
And even greater difference if you talk in tweetage such as
I hr u say M’s wk is prob @ mo n u need 2 do somat
Doesn’t look professional and thought out, does it?
Cross-cultural work can be a complex subject because so many permutations exist. If you work in a business wholly owned and led from the US and you are in Europe but manage staff in Singapore, Russia, Australia and India, this situation is significantly different to managing a UK subsidiary of a US-owned company where you have a small office in Geneva and one in Germany. If you are coaching clients with complex responsibilities, you need to understand those to serve the client well.
If clients are managing people from a different culture to their own but situated in their country of origin, this situation is wholly different to coaching a client from a different culture operating outside of her country of origin.
People commonly group areas together using convenient umbrella terminology such as ‘Asia’ or ‘Europe’ when you can find myriad nuances of culture inside those labels. If you think about the tiny island that is the UK, you have Welsh, Scottish, Irish, English, northern and southern cultures and regional subcultures. No wonder thinking about the notion of cross-cultural working is complex!
Some of the questions you’re looking to understand to help the client include:
When coaching businesses that work across different cultural contexts, with staff from a variety of cultural backgrounds, you need to work harder at understanding their context in order to coach them through the additional challenges and rewards that this variety may bring.
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