Page references followed by fig indicate a figure.

• active replay tool, 12–13, 54, 63–87
• Adler, Alfred, 10–11
• adverse thinking patterns, 20–21, 22–23, 56
• Alda, Alan, 167
• align your brain habit, 153, 156–165, 186
• Almaas, A. H., 173
• anorexic patients, 64–65
• Aragon, Oriana, 180
• ARC of coaching, 153
• Arendt, Hannah, 63, 90
• assumptions, 91–94, 91fig, 96–98
• awareness, 164–165, 169–173, 177–180
• awareness-based coaching, 60

• being present. See presence
• beliefs
  • articulate new insight to become a, 139–142
  • changing our bias to change, 98–100
  • coaching the story to challenge, 96–100
  • crazy coaching, 35–49
  • doubt required to examine, 57
  • reflective inquiry to examine client, 54, 56
  • summarizing effects on, 65–76
• biases, 98–100, 177–180. See also judgmental reactions
• Black, Derek, 99
• blind spot (unconscious bias), 99, 177–180
• bottom lining, 74–76
• box of stories, 90fig, 91fig, 93fig, 100fig
• Boyatzis, Richard, 89
• brain
  • align your, 153, 155–165, 186
  • coaching versus telling the, 23–24
  • how coaching can affect your, 22–23
  • how coaching taps into the middle, 26–29
  • as meaning-making machine, 139
  • negativity bias of our, 178
  • rappers fMRI experiment on executive functions of, 114
  • response to fear-based learning by the, 24–26
  • See also thinking
• brain hacking tool, 54, 89–109
• breakthroughs, 27, 34, 39–41, 92, 142, 143

• case studies
  • articulating new insight to believe it, 141
  • bottom lining, 74–76
  • coaching the story to challenge beliefs and assumptions, 96–100
  • coaching the story to shift perceptions, 94–95
  • envisioning desired outcome, 116, 118–119
  • focus to support the client, 56–60
  • identifying what is getting in the way, 128–129
  • inviting and reinviting technique, 132–133
  • keeping outcome in mind even as it shifts, 130–131
  • labeling clients’ experience, 73–74
  • nonreactive empathy and emotional shift, 83
  • recapping, 66–67, 69–71
  • reflective inquiry-based coaching conversations, 28–29
  • See also stories
• catch and release judgment habit, 177–188, 190. See also judgmental reactions
• centering your awareness, 164–165
• change, 25, 26, 93–96, 98, 123, 126–129. See also outcomes
• “checklist coaching,” 1
• clients
  • believe in potential of your, 16, 61, 159–161
  • labeling experience of the, 73–74
  • making breakthroughs, 27, 92, 142
  • missed opportunities, 137–138
  • misunderstood emotional reactions of, 180–181
  • partnering with coaches, 3, 10, 15, 32, 158–159
  • psychological safety of, 151–153
  • reflective inquiry benefits for, 4–5, 54, 56
  • reflective statements stimulating stories of, 4, 21
  • supporting versus challenging, 56–60
  • verbal processors, 30, 52
  • when to and not to coach, 29–33
• closed questions, 41–45, 78
• coaches
  • acting as thinking partners, 3, 10, 16, 32, 158–159
  • active replay process by, 12–13
  • being and living as, 190–191
  • competencies needed by, 15–17, 35
• coaching
  • the ARC of, 153
  • awareness-based versus solution-focused, 60
  • “checklist,” 1
  • the difference it makes, 193–194
  • differentiating problem-solving from, 47, 52–53, 55–56
  • as discomforting learning process, 13–15
  • establishing bookends of, 112–113, 113fig
  • high achievers often dissatisfied with, 34
  • horizontal versus vertical, 124–126, 124fig, 125fig
  • hybrid, 29–30
  • ideal scenarios for, 33–34
  • increased recognition of value of, 19–20
  • partnering component of, 3, 10, 15, 32, 158–159
  • the path of, 113fig
  • to reverse adverse thinking, 20–21, 22–23, 56
  • should be a process of inquiry, 2
  • the story, 93fig–96
  • telling versus, 23–24
  • transactional (or surface), 52, 53–54
  • transformational, 53–54
  • See also reflective inquiry
• coaching beliefs, 35–49
• coaching competencies, 15–17, 35
• coaching conversations
  • having a clear vision of outcome, 47–49
  • hybrid coaching blending mentoring into, 29–30
  • learning through reflective inquiry-based, 26–29
  • outcome of, 111–112
  • receiving habit for better listening during, 167–175
  • removing I from your, 182
  • sensory awareness during, 170–173
  • three tips for keeping on track, 134–135
  • transactional (or surface), 52, 53–54
  • transformational, 53–54
  • when to and not to engage in, 29–33
  • See also coaching sessions; reflective inquiry
• coaching credentials, 17, 19, 35, 37, 41
• coaching culture, 191–193
• coaching insights
  • emotional shifts accompanying, 137
  • say it to believe it, 139–142
  • tips for articulating commitments and, 147–148
  • turning them into commitments, 142–144
• coaching mastery, 36–39, 149, 152–153, 155–165, 167–175, 177–188
• coaching models, 52–53, 55, 126–128
• coaching process steps, 30–33
• Coaching Research Laboratory (Case Western University), 47
• coaching sessions
  • alterations in outcome and tracking progress, 122–129
  • articulating outcome as conduit between uncertainty and, 122
  • end on a high note by summarizing coaching, 144–146
  • inviting and reinviting technique, 132–134
  • See also coaching conversations; reflective inquiry toolbox
• coach–client relationship
  • Adler’s definition of the, 11
  • partnering element of the, 3, 10, 15, 32, 158–159
  • when clients want to end the, 146–147
• cognitive awareness, 169
• commitments, 142–144, 147–148
• Communism, 177–178
• confirming questions, 12
• conflicts, 68–73
• connections
  • being present to make, 149, 152, 158, 174–175, 190
  • parodies of, 160
  • receiving to make, 167–175, 190
• context, 100–108, 100fig, 109
• contextual fields, 91–108, 91fig, 100fig
• cortisol, 85–86
• Csikszentmihalyi, Mihaly, 157

• decision-making
  • on coaching outcomes, 53, 60, 115–120
  • driving by our social needs, 102–103
  • how coaching can help with, 11, 32, 33, 71, 82, 92
  • reflective inquiry to help with, 21
• defensiveness reaction, 181
• developmental coaching techniques, 56
• Dewey, John, 11–12, 13, 19, 20, 21, 101
• The Discomfort Zone (Reynolds), 81
• doubt, 57, 76
• drawing distinctions, 76–77
• Duke, David, 99

• easy and quick agreements, 181
• emotional contagion, 85–86, 150–151
• emotional recognition, 185–188
• emotional shifts, 79–87, 138
• emotional triggers, 103
• emotions/feelings
  • as barrier to outcome, 52
  • breaking down false beliefs and sharing your, 41
  • choose how you want to feel, 156–158
  • don’t coach when feeling negative, 32–33
  • feelings inventory, 187–188
  • focusing on those you want to feel, 165
  • growth through appreciation of your, 81–82
  • judgmental reactions to misunderstood client, 180–181
  • sensory awareness of, 170–173
• empathy
  • nonreactive, 82–85, 172
  • when you have too much, 85–86
• encapsulating, 73–76, 119–120
• exploratory questions, 12
• eye contact changes, 180

• Federal Trade Commission, 19
• feedback myth, 24–29, 37
• feelings inventory, 187–188
• feelings. See emotions/feelings
• “Find the Coaching in Criticism” (Heen and Stone), 25
• “5 Ways to Listen Better” (Treasure), 167
• flow of coaching, 157–158
• focus tool, 54, 55–62
• frame (identity and reality), 89–100
• Freud, Sigmund, 11
• full-body presence, 174–175

• Gazzaniga, Michael, 22, 53
• goaltending tool, 54, 111–135
• Gottschall, Jonathan, 93
• Gregersen, Hal, 22

• Hari, Johann, 160
• Harvard Business Review, 34
• Heen, Sheila, 25
• hesitation reaction, 181
• horizontal coaching, 124–125, 124fig
• How We Think (Dewey), 11
• hybrid coaching, 29

• Ibarra, Herminia, 189, 190–191
• identity
  • based on our box of stories, 89–92, 90fig, 91fig
  • context that defines our lives and, 100–108, 100fig
  • contextual field shaping our, 91–100, 91fig
• inquiry, 1–4. See also reflective inquiry
• insight-based learning, 26–29
• insights. See coaching insights
• International Coach Federation (ICF), 3, 10, 15, 16, 35, 41
• in the zone, 157

• judgmental reactions, 35–36, 72, 87, 99, 177–183, 190. See also catch and release judgment habit
• Jung, Carl, 150

• Kahneman, Daniel, 20
• Kahn, William, 151

• labeling clients’ experience, 73–74
• Latimer, Tony, 126
• learning
  • discomfort of coaching leading to, 13–15
  • the feedback myth and fear-based, 24–29
  • insight-based, 26–29
  • problem-solving versus, 24
  • reflective inquiry for opening a person to, 21–22, 40–41
  • short-term memory and, 24
  • uncertainty and being open to, 57, 76
• life values, 91–92, 100, 105–108, 109
• listening, 167–175
• long-term memory, 26, 27

• Maslow, Abraham, 159
• mastery. See coaching mastery
• meaning, 90–91, 93–96, 93fig, 139–142
• memory, 24, 26
• mental habits
  • align your brain, 153, 155–165, 186
  • being present, 155–156, 158, 174–175, 190
  • catch and release judgment, 153, 177–188, 190
  • receiving, 167–175, 190
• mentoring, 29, 34, 37
• metaphors, 72, 73, 78
• middle brain, 26–29
• Miller, Henry, 111
• mirroring skills, 12–13, 65
• missed opportunities, 137–138
• Murray, Paul, 60
• Murray, William H., 137

• National Institute on Deafness and Other Communication Disorders, 114
• needs
  • beliefs and biases shaped by values and, 92
  • contextual field made up by, 91–92, 91fig
  • psychological safety, 151–153
  • social needs, 101–104
• negativity bias, 178
• nervous laughter, 180
• neurolinguistic programming, 20
• new and next tool, 54, 137–148
• nonreactive empathy, 82–85, 172

• open questions, 41–45
• operational coaching techniques, 56
• outcome
  • bottom lining the desired, 74–76
  • coaching conversation, 111–112
  • differentiating a problem from an, 115–120
  • differentiating a topic versus, 120–122
  • drawing distinctions to clarify the, 76–77
  • of effective coaching models, 52–53
  • keeping it in mind even as it shifts, 129–131
  • tracking progress and alterations in the, 122–135
  • unwrapping the desired, 114–122
  • vision of desired, 47–49, 112–120, 113fig
  • See also change

• paraphrasing, 71–73, 78–89, 119–120
• parodies of connection, 160
• partnering, 3, 10, 15, 32, 158–159
• presence, 149, 152, 158, 174–175, 190
• Presence-Based Coaching (Silsbee), 150
• Presencing Routine, 158, 162–165, 186
• problems, 54, 55–62, 76–77, 115–120
• problem-solving, 24, 47, 52–56, 74–76
• psychological safety, 151–153

• questions
  • asking open versus closed, 41–45
  • coaching by combining reflective statements with, 2–4
  • confirming, 12
  • crazy coaching belief about coaching and, 39–41
  • differentiating between inquiry and asking, 1–2
  • exploratory, 12
  • pairing summarizing with, 78–79
  • vertical coaching and examples of, 124–125, 125fig
• quick/easy agreements, 181

• rappers fMRI experiment, 114
• RASA (receive, appreciate, summarize, and ask), 167
• rationalization, 20–22
• reality, 89–108
• recapping, 66–71
• receiving habit, 167–175, 190
• reflective inquiry
  • coach and client benefits of, 4–5
  • Dewey’s definition of, 11–12
  • insight-based learning stimulated by, 26–29
  • observing our stories through, 4, 21
  • opening a person to learning, 21–22, 40–41
  • See also coaching; coaching conversations; inquiry
• reflective inquiry toolbox
  • active replay, 54, 63–87
  • brain hacking, 54, 89–109
  • focus, 54, 55–62
  • goaltending, 54, 111–135
  • new and next, 54, 137–148
  • See also coaching sessions
• reflective statements, 2–4, 45–47, 190
• reinviting technique, 132–134
• relational field, 150
• releasing judgment. See catch and release judgment habit
• Reynolds, Marcia, 9, 35, 51, 55, 149, 177
• Rogers, Carl, 20

• self-esteem experiment, 64–65
• sensory awareness, 170–173
• short-term memory, 24
• Silsbee, Doug, 150
• social needs, 101–104
• solution-focused coaching, 60
• Stone, Douglas, 25
• stories
  • coaching the, 93–100, 93fig
  • contextual field shaping our, 91–92, 91fig
  • emotional fog triggered by, 115
  • identity and reality based on our box of, 89–92
  • inviting and reinviting technique to examine, 132–134
  • reflective statements for observing our, 4, 21
  • See also case studies
• Storytelling Animal, The (Gottschall), 93
• summarizing, 65–79, 119–120
• surface (or transactional) coaching, 52, 53–54
• survival-based learning, 24–26

• tearful reaction, 181
• telling, 23–24
• therapeutic presence, 152
• thinking, 20–23, 36–49, 56. See also brain
• Thinking, Fast and Slow (Kahneman), 20
• threatening, 24–26
• tipping point, 59
• transactional (or surface) coaching, 52, 53–54
• transformational coaching, 53–54
• Treasure, Julien, 167
• trust, 151, 152
• truth, 60, 79–87, 90

• uncertainty, 57, 76, 122
• unconscious bias (blind spot), 99, 177–180

• values, 91–92, 91fig, 105–108, 109, 177–178
• Van Gogh, Vincent, 178–179
• verbal processors, 30, 52
• vertical coaching, 124–126, 125fig
• vision of desired outcome, 47–49, 112–113, 113fig, 115

• Weil, Simone, 155
• Wheatley, Margaret, 194
• Whitmore, John, 20