Index

Adams, Scott, 26, 302–303, 351

Ambiguity, 44–45, 59–60, 72, 85

of silence, 65–66, 98

Appreciation, 121, 194–198, 200

of self, 197

Assumptions, 15, 21, 35, 44, 50, 56, 57, 67, 68, 71, 82, 98, 111, 123, 136, 140, 143, 187, 228, 251, 271, 288, 289, 327, 334, 336, 344, 348

Attention, 64, 86, 159, 164, 165–166, 171, 192, 257, 262, 264–267, 330

gaining, 22–25, 28, 31–32, 34n., 36, 145, 149, 212

paying, 9, 13, 20, 21, 76, 82, 96, 103, 109, 145, 186, 213, 215–216, 225, 229, 275–276, 294, 346

personalized, 186, 201–206, 225

Attitude, 13, 35, 37–40, 48, 68, 162, 163, 166, 175–176, 188, 268, 297, 328, 341

impact of, 37, 40, 225, 227

toward complaints, 251

Barlow, Janelle, 166, 251, 351

Behavior patterns, 96, 99

Benesh, Marie, 29, 215n., 351, 355

Blackburn, George, 174–175

Black Hole, 232–233, 235

Blame, 6, 27, 38, 90, 96, 97, 100, 110, 121, 131, 208, 209, 251, 293, 315, 316

Bohjalian, Chris, 85, 351

Bridges, William, 303, 306, 309, 322, 332, 351

Bridges change model, 345

Broude, Craig, 333, 337, 352

Bullock, James, 29n., 351, 355

Buy-in, 136, 270, 296, 297

Change, 12, 22, 31, 37 152–53, 173, 175, 179, 243, 244, 267, 299ff., 323ff.

artist, 320–321, 323, 329

communication during, 300, 302, 303, 310, 316, 319–321, 323ff.

experience of, 302ff.

introducing, 4, 12, 20, 302, 307

making, 9, 13

managing, 12, 153, 301, 303, 322, 323, 335, 345

meta-change, 320–322

of opinion, 42, 176, 181–182

reactions to, 64, 148, 157, 302, 305ff., 312–313, 316, 325ff., 333, 341–342

resistance to, 64–65, 183, 304, 312, 316, 336, 342

to service, 25, 114, 255, 269–271, 273, 275, 278–279, 292–293

Chaos, 196, 261, 322

Clarifying questions, 13, 15, 69–72, 94–95, 127

Commenting, rules for, 88–92, 97, 99, 101, 127, 205, 234, 244

Communication, 5ff., 18, 21ff., 51ff., 65, 68–72, 74–77, 97, 103–105, 107, 111ff., 135ff., 176, 183ff., 191–192, 197, 200, 201, 207, 211, 215–218, 219–221, 222ff., 235, 238–239, 246–248, 255, 265–266, 274–275, 277ff., 289, 291, 294–295, 296

assessment, 47–48, 201

of caring, 222ff.

channel, 29, 210–211

communicating about, 57, 70, 120, 143

congruent, 7, 16, 87, 143

differences in, 135ff.

distortion of, 83–84, 218

face-to-face, 29, 96, 111, 132–134, 258–259, 269, 284, 293, 336

glitches, 5, 8

improving, 8, 30, 39, 67, 72, 277, 283, 295

inadequate, 304–306

incongruent, 16, 88

metrics for, 208–211, 217

patterns, 192, 317, 318, 320

preferences, 15, 105, 135ff., 182, 221, 295

process, 192, 221, 251, 279, 281, 283

skills, 6–7

strategies, 11, 47

styles, 11, 15, 135–138, 143, 146, 159, 192, 210, 295

Communication gaps, 3ff., 18–19, 63, 103, 131, 162, 220, 223, 246, 347, 350

during change, 12, 299ff.

eliminating, 3, 9, 137, 162, 165, 230, 278, 347, 349

in everyday interactions, 10, 17ff.

evidence of, 4–5

four contexts of, 10–12

prevalence of, 7

preventing, 120, 137

in relationships, 11, 78, 103ff.

responsibility for, 9, 21, 26, 27–28

service-related, 12, 219ff.

Compassionate listeners, 215–217

Complaints, 5, 56, 61–62, 185–187, 191–192, 199, 203, 214, 229, 247, 249, 250–252, 255, 256, 264, 265–267, 276, 291, 334

addressing, 186–187, 191–192, 199, 203, 264

validity of, 186

Compromise, 179, 189, 288, 330

Conflict, 11, 15, 50, 60, 107–108, 109, 111, 131, 133, 140, 141, 172, 187, 188, 208–209, 213, 216

resolution of, 187–189, 210–211, 277, 279, 290, 295

Consultants, 218, 256, 314, 334

Coping mechanisms, 88–92, 97, 99, 101

Corporate fool, 217–218

Cultural differences, 51–53, 65, 284

Customer dissatisfaction, 165–166, 229ff., 274–275

Customer feedback, 250ff., 272–274

Customer satisfaction, 4, 12, 14, 114, 166, 219, 221, 223–228, 234, 256–259, 265, 267, 269, 274, 291, 294

changes in, 224, 248, 258, 269

failure to achieve, 12

surveys of, 4, 56, 229, 250, 252–253, 258–259, 262–268, 272–276, 294, 297

de Bono, Edward, 16, 352

DeFleur, Melvin L., 51, 352

DeKoven, Bernie, 116–117

Dentist example, 103–105

Derby, Esther, 216n., 263

Dörner, Dietrich, 344, 352

Doublespeak, 50–51, 55

Effectiveness, personal, 13, 36–37, 347

Elgin, Suzette Haden, 47n., 352

E-mail, 5, 7, 15, 21, 22–23, 29, 30–31, 32–33, 38, 75, 76, 97, 100, 132, 142, 146, 148, 191–192, 193, 210–211, 237, 240–241, 265, 271, 293, 334, 336, 350

Emery, Dale, 64–65, 342

Empathy, 174–177, 186, 323, 338–340, 346

Empathy Suit, 174–175, 189

English-to-English dictionary, 52–55

Expectations, managing, 111, 123–126, 271, 278

of process, 224–225, 227–228, 245

of product, 224

of service, 269

Farrell, Kathy, 333, 337, 352

Farson, Richard, 37, 38n., 352

Feedback, 5, 12, 15, 39, 45–46, 63, 70, 108, 141, 151, 192, 200, 213–214, 216, 217, 222, 247, 250ff., 282, 291, 294–296, 298, 330, 333–334

gathering, 252–258, 268–272

loop, 30–31

responding to, 272–273

Feelings, 87–91, 99, 101

Firth, David, 217–218, 352

Fisher, Roger, 173–174, 352

Freiberg, Kevin, and Jackie Freiberg, 231, 352

Gapologist, 12, 16, 19, 347ff.

Gaps. See Communication gaps.

Gerson, Richard R., 252, 353

Gilovich, Thomas, 23, 83, 85, 353

Gladwell, Malcolm, 22, 342, 353

Gottesdiener, Ellen, 132, 353

Hay, David C., 56, 353

Hirsh, Sandra Krebs, 147, 353

Hofstadter’s Law, 328

Honesty, 241–244, 245

How information, 337

Humor, 34

in review sessions, 122

Information-sharing, 46–48, 198–199, 335–338

Interaction model, 77ff., 87, 92ff., 167, 216, 264

feelings and, 77–81, 87–92, 99, 100–101

intake and, 77, 79–81, 82–85, 90–91, 94, 95, 99, 100–101

response and, 77–81, 90–91, 93–98, 99, 101

uses of, 92ff.

Interactions, 73ff., 109, 168, 185, 213, 260

Interpretations, 77, 79–81, 85–87 90–91, 95, 99, 100–101, 165, 214

alternative, 65, 95, 342

differences in, 51–52, 55, 59–61, 66, 69, 72, 278, 295

generous, 15–16, 233–234, 342

multiple, 65, 87, 92, 167–170

as traps, 58

Interviews, 229, 255–256, 258–262, 264–265, 268, 270, 291, 294, 344

Inverted Pyramid, 32–33

Involvement, 63–64

Jankowski, Mark A., 85, 354

Jargon, 26, 55

Jung, Carl, 138, 150, 353

Karten, Naomi, 55, 130, 176, 208, 288, 316, 350, 353, 354, 355

Kearney, Patricia, 51, 352

Kerth, Norman, 122, 176, 353

King, Bob, 130, 208–209, 353

Kroeger, Otto, 157, 353

Kübler-Ross, Elisabeth, 310, 316, 343, 353

Kummerow, Jean, 147, 353

Labels, 163–166, 341–342

Lag, perceptual, 273–274

Language, 50–53, 62–63, 65

Laughter, 111, 116–118, 126, 215

Lawrence, Gordon, 151, 353

Leigh, Alan, 217, 352

Listening, 185, 203, 258, 281, 323, 334

Logic, 150–154

Logic-bubbles, 167, 171–172, 175, 178, 181

London Underground, 3, 9, 16

Lurie, Alison, 24, 353

Lutz, William, 50, 51n., 54, 353

McLenden, Jean, 101n., 120

Message filters, 84–85

Messages, 5, 7–8, 15, 21ff., 77ff., 185, 191, 215, 247, 270, 271, 334

befuddling, 17ff., 22, 44–46

cluttered, 22, 31–35

communication of, 24–26

conflicting, 22, 43–44

hidden, 22, 35–37

missed, 22, 28–31

misstated, 22, 26–28

nonverbal, 74, 76, 87, 96, 142, 226

off-putting, 22, 37–40

one-sided, 22, 40–41

presentation of, 39–40

recipient of, 11, 73ff., 80, 82, 315

resending, 28–30

responses to, puzzling, 11, 15, 93

responsibility for, 20

telephone, 17, 19, 38

unclear, 17–18

unexplained, 22, 43–44

unnoticed, 22–26

visual, 34

Miscommunication, 5, 6, 10, 15, 18–19, 50, 65, 72, 213

avoiding, 87, 184

Misinterpretation, 6, 8, 10, 45–46, 49ff., 73ff., 85, 94, 96, 100, 210, 213–214, 258, 328

avoiding, 13, 54, 60, 69–71, 188, 210, 237

Misunderstandings, 6, 10, 54, 59, 62, 63, 68, 94–95, 125, 131, 186, 188, 214, 242, 267

preventing, 68–72, 111, 297

Møller, Claus, 166, 251, 351

Murray, William D.G., 140, 354

Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI), 136ff., 325

extraversion preference, 137ff., 157, 159, 210

feeling preference, 137, 150–154, 157, 159

introversion preference, 137ff., 157, 159, 210

intuition preference, 137, 144–150, 326

judging preference, 137, 154–159, 325

perceiving preference, 137, 154–159, 325

sensing preference, 137, 144–150, 326

thinking preference, 137, 150–154, 157, 159

Nielsen, Jerri, 210–211, 354

Norman, Donald A., 8, 75–76, 82, 354

Norms, 14, 105, 111, 120–123, 214

Northcutt, Wendy, 231, 354

Observers, 192, 212–215, 218

One-way agreements, 286–287

Operational level agreement, 282–283

Organizational effectiveness, 13–14, 347

Oshry, Barry, 74, 354

Past experience, 326–327

Patience, 182

Perception, 163–164, 273–274

Perspective, 30, 57, 58, 105, 123, 131, 146, 160ff., 185–186, 192, 208, 218, 281, 327, 332, 334

empathetic, 10, 12, 40–41, 45, 105, 152, 172, 174–175, 178, 181, 183, 187, 189, 216, 252, 254, 270, 281

Perspectoscope, 11, 162–163, 164, 177, 181, 189–190

Persuasion, 178–180

Plax, Timothy G., 51, 352

Rapport, 118–119

Recognition, public, 194

Relationship-building, 7, 11–12, 14, 105, 106ff., 134, 136–137, 159, 184, 203, 255, 264, 269, 281–282, 283, 293, 297

communication in, 14, 103, 105, 114, 293

meetings and, 132–134

Relationships, 11–12, 54, 62, 82, 87, 103, 105, 106ff., 157, 168, 191ff., 224–225, 228, 231, 244, 251, 277, 283, 293, 329. See also Communication gaps; Relationship-building.

communication in, 5, 54, 104, 124, 143

courtesies, 192ff.

improving, 96–97, 106, 117, 131, 170–171, 196, 281–282, 298

win-win, 106, 178, 221, 278

Response-escalation procedures, 266–267

Retrospectives, personal, 182–183

Reviews,

periodic, 279, 288, 290, 292–293

post-project, 122, 200

Richardson, John, 173, 352

Risk, 33, 332

minimizing, 25

Satir, Virginia, 16, 68, 77, 87, 88n., 112, 120, 135, 164–165, 197, 198n., 199, 208, 310, 354

Satir Change Model, 310ff., 323, 324, 329, 332, 339, 340, 345

Chaos, 312ff., 324–325, 326, 328–332, 334, 337, 338, 345

Foreign Element, 312–316, 318, 319–322, 324–325, 327–330, 344, 345–346

New Status Quo, 318, 319–322, 328, 331, 340

Old Status Quo, 311–312, 315, 316, 319–322, 323, 329, 330, 335

Practice and Integration, 318–322, 340

Transforming Idea, 318–322, 337, 345

Schmaltz, David A., 86, 126, 354

Seeking clarification, 56, 58, 93, 187–188, 215–216

Service, 237–238, 246, 269, 282, 288–290, 297

context-setting information, 288–289

delivery, 297

description, 288, 289

elements, 288–290

expectations, 269

goal, 246

standards, 237–238, 282, 288, 289–290

Service level agreement (SLA), 12, 36, 60, 221, 238, 277ff., 330, 341

change process, 290, 293

as a communication tool, 281

management elements, 288, 290–293

periodic review, 290, 292–293

service reporting, 290, 291–292

service tracking, 290–291, 292

success factors, 278–297

Shapiro, Ronald M., 85, 354

Sharp, Alan, 173–174, 352

Silence, 141–142, 144, 185

ambiguity of, 65–66, 98

Skiing example, 49, 287, 299

Smiling, 226, 227

Smith, Rolf, 309, 354

Smith, Steven M., 316, 354

Standards, product, 30, 40, 42

Starcevich, Matt M., 311–312, 354

Stowell, Steven J., 311–312, 354

Stress, 204–205, 317, 339

Strider, Eileen, 215n., 216n. Strider, Wayne, 68, 260, 355

Subway example, 16

Surveys of customer satisfaction, 4, 56, 229, 250, 252–253, 258–259, 262–268, 272–276, 294, 297

Team jiggler, 215n., 217, 218

Temperature reading, 197–201, 208

Terminology, 10, 11, 50, 53ff., 101, 121, 259, 295, 309, 345

business, 61–62

disconnects, 53ff.

everyday, 62–67

interpreter of, 63

meeting, 57–58

project, 55–57

service, 58–60

Thanks, giving, 192ff., 206

Then and there reaction, 81, 88, 93

They Syndrome, 8

Thuesen, Janet M., 157n., 353

Timing, 179, 323, 324–325

To-do list, 156, 157, 282

Tone, 95, 171, 227

Trust, 7, 39, 43, 103, 105, 107, 109, 110, 112, 116, 132, 158, 170, 216, 231, 235, 271, 277–278, 294, 326, 338, 346

distrust and, 57, 78, 79, 90, 168–169, 243–244, 246, 275, 304, 338, 343

Truthful disclosure, 242

Underhill, Paco, 23, 355

Understanding, 126–129, 132

Universal grievances, 229ff., 241

Updates, providing, 235–236, 239–241

Venting, 332

Visibility ratio, 130, 208

Vollers, Maryanne, 211n., 354

Weinberg, Jerry, 29n., 32, 61n., 88, 117, 166n., 332, 335, 351, 355

What information, 337

What’s in it for me (WIIFM), 178–179

Whiteley, Richard C., 225, 355

Why information, 337

Word-action contradiction, 43–44, 205, 206, 222–233, 246–248