CHAPTER 2


Think First to Include the Right Information for the Right People

If it takes a lot of words to say what you have in mind, give it more thought.

—DENNIS ROTH, American diplomat, serving in the State Department under President George H. W. Bush

“If you want to be a writer, then write.” That’s the advice successful novelists often give to wannabes. Their point: Stop complaining about the difficulty in finding a literary agent, the rigged best-seller list, the slim chance of getting a contract with a major publisher, the lonely writer’s life—and just get down to business. Write! Produce something people want to read.

That’s good advice for book authors—but bad advice for email writers.

Doing a brain dump just to capture all your information and ideas in print is rarely a productive habit. When you approach writing an email that way, you’ll have to reword almost every sentence in your first draft. After you rearrange ideas into the most logical format, the email rarely flows appropriately. Sentences refer to people, places, dates, or reasons you haven’t yet mentioned.

Give thought to structure before sentences. Drafting your brain dump just to get something on the screen is a time-waster. On the other hand, the second biggest time-waster is staring at a blank screen, trying to decide how to draft the perfect email on the first attempt. Forget these two extremes.

Consider a better way: Think before you write.

ANALYZE YOUR AUDIENCE, YOUR MESSAGE, AND THE SITUATION

Consider the following questions in your analysis.

Who Will Read Your Email?

Before you start to write, have the specific name of a reader or groups in mind (example: Supplier Ryan Johnson, your own internal marketing team of three specialists, your boss).

Instead of composing an email about a situation or topic and then deciding who should get a copy, reverse the process. Consider who has interest in the situation: One reader? An entire project team? The entire client organization? If you’re writing outside your organization, will your client or vendor likely pass your email on to still other advisors for input, decision, or action?

Assess that audience carefully so that, if practical, one email can handle the entire situation from beginning to end. That is, with the final action in mind, you can email your reader with all the appropriate information so that the primary reader can forward your email to a staffer, delegating the action steps. No further “clarifying” emails from you will be necessary.

For example, can you email client Jeremy that his project is completed and simply copy your finance specialist Lela so she knows to initiate the invoice?

What’s of Primary Interest to Your Reader(s)?

Many email writers start with a “once upon a time” perspective. They begin with background information on what they are trying to accomplish, what they need, and how the reader can help them achieve their goal. Wrong approach!

Example 1 gives an example of that backward view.

You’ll want to take a different approach. What’s the key message of interest to these Dallas readers? Probably not what Frank’s company is doing on the weekend. Instead, they’re probably far more interested in how Frank’s weekend benefits them—the offer of a free pass to the Expo. That offer should be the lead (see example 2).

Why will readers care what you have to say? What do they need to know? What does your message mean for how they will do their job in the next day or month? How can you summarize that message to them in a sentence or two?

Your readers must see immediate relevancy. Don’t just identify a topic of interest. Your job involves drafting a message or drawing a conclusion about that topic or situation.

EXAMPLE 1. An email from the writer’s point of view—wrong approach!

EXAMPLE 2. Write from your readers’ point of view. What are THEY interested in knowing?

What Do Your Readers Already Know?

Try not to tell readers what they already know. This might seem like common sense—but it’s not common practice. Writers often spend one, two, three, or even more paragraphs providing background before they get to the point. As a result, readers often stop before they get to the core message, thinking the email is redundant, irrelevant, and/or irritating.

Some examples of telling readers what they already know include:

•   Repeating detailed meeting discussions when all recipients attended the meeting

•   “Verifying information” when the client/vendor initially provided that same information earlier

•   Repeating questions rather than just answering them in a way that makes the referenced questions obvious (“Last week at the staff meeting you asked me about whether I planned to attend the TRX Conference next spring. I’ve looked at the speakers now, and I don’t think that . . .” Better to start your email: “After reviewing the speakers for the TRX Conference next spring, I don’t plan to attend.”)

How Technical or Non-Technical Are Your Readers?

Decide what terms you need to define and how detailed or cursory you should be in providing explanations about such things as testing procedures or cost calculations. If you don’t know whether you’ll have “pass-on” readers for your email beyond the initial addressee, a good rule of thumb is to summarize in your email and then attach any technical explanations with spreadsheets, graphs, tables, or charts.

How Will Readers Likely React to Your Message?

Will your reader(s) be pleased with your message? Unhappy? Skeptical and argumentative? Is your recommendation or request a low priority for them? Will someone have to lose face to accept what you have to say? Will the readers oppose what you’re saying and try to discredit your information or sources?

Consider these various reactions—the good, the bad, and the ugly—and plan what, if anything, you might do to minimize a negative reaction and get a better outcome. For example, if the reader will be skeptical about your conclusion, what can you add to increase credibility?

If the reader will lose face for a past decision because of your new message, how could you phrase your message so that past decisions do not look as though they were foolish at the time they were made? If the reader will tend to consider your request a low priority, what can you include in the email to make the message more urgent?

What’s the benefit of responding to your request—or consequence of failing to respond? For example, if they respond within forty-eight hours, will they get their expense reimbursement check within a week? Will their failure to respond to your email mean their name will not be submitted to the list of nominees for the upcoming field trip?

Don’t simply hope for the best. Plan for the best.

The typical email starts with a line similar to this: “Hi, Carlos, I hope you’re doing well . . .” That’s the newest cliché to replace the former opener: “Olivia, I got your March 16 email, in which you asked me several questions about . . .” And that cliché opener replaced this one: “Dear Bradley, This is to acknowledge receipt of your March 16 email, which contained several questions about . . .”

The friendly, less-formal style works well. But any verbatim, often-repeated statement becomes a cliché that simply stands in the reader’s way of getting to the point. Granted, a one-sentence cliché opener is not overly bothersome to jump past. But longer, off-topic openings may cause a reader to miss your message altogether. After all, the brief viewing pane for emails provides limited space for readers to make a “read now” or “read later” decision.

To make sure your message gets read, structure your message in the MADE Format™. Then if you’d like to add a friendly sentence or two to build rapport, tack that on at the close.

The MADE Format™ for Emails

The MADE Format™ for organizing emails provides an easy-to-understand structure that helps readers grasp your message quickly.

Remember that you’re emailing with a message—not just a topic or a subject. Give your conclusion or point of view about the topic or situation. To distinguish between the two—as well as to solve the problem of staring at a blank screen trying to decide how to start—here’s a good trick.

Prime the pump with this opening phrase: “I’m writing to tell you that . . .” and then finish the statement. After finishing the statement, go back and delete “I’m writing to tell you that.” What remains will be your opening summary message.

An easy-to-understand structure helps readers grasp your point and key details quickly.

If this prompt won’t work for you, then you know you don’t have a real message. Instead, you have only a topic. Try it:

“I’m writing to tell you that the volatile stock market this quarter.”

[Not a message; only a topic. What about
the volatile stock market this quarter?]

“I’m writing to tell you that the volatile stock market this quarter makes an IPO a risky decision for us in the short-term.”

[A real summary message.]

“I’m writing to tell you that improving customer satisfaction scores.”

[Not a message; only a topic. What about
improving customer satisfaction scores?]

“I’m writing to tell you that customer satisfaction scores have improved by 37 percent during the past 9 months due to the new return policy.”

[A real summary message.]

Think first. Then write.

Now that you’ve analyzed your audience, know your message, and have a specific action in mind, you’re ready to compose or reply to those emails. The hard part—the thinking—is done.

To practice thinking in this format, review and compare the “before” and “after” emails in examples 3–8.

You’re probably thinking, “Are there any exceptions or variations to this structure?”

Yes, of course. Three:

Transmittals. With a transmittal, the attachment becomes the message. A transmittal email basically says, “I’m sending you something. Here it is.” It serves as a place-holder stating what was sent to whom on what date. Generally your transmittal should also summarize the attachment in a sentence or two. For example: “I’m forwarding the previous Walton contract that contains the clause restricting the option for subcontractors on the project. (See page 8, clause 6.2.)”

Directives. With a directive, the action becomes the message. Do or don’t do this or that.

Bad news. On occasion, even bad-news messages should follow the MADE Format™. But if you are writing outside your organization and have totally different goals from your reader, you may want to soften the bad news by reversing the structure: Start with a neutral or positive statement. Explain the situation, criteria, or your reasoning. Then state the bad news. After the bad news, offer an alternative to meet the person’s goals, if possible. Finally, reestablish rapport with a goodwill statement about the future (see example 9).

“Before” Email with Buried Summary and Action

EXAMPLE 3. Don’t bury your point at the end of your email.

“After” Email in the MADE Format™

EXAMPLE 4. Make your message clear from the beginning of the email.

“Before” Email with Buried Summary and Action

EXAMPLE 5. Don’t make your readers have to reread your emails.

“After” Email in the MADE Format™

EXAMPLE 6. Structure your emails in the MADE Format™ to improve clarity.

“Before” Email with Buried Summary and Action

EXAMPLE 7. Readers get lost in this once-upon-a-time format.

“After” Email in the MADE Format™

EXAMPLE 8. Use the MADE Format™ so readers grasp the point all along the way.

Bad-News Message to External Readers: Reversed Structure

EXAMPLE 9. You may want to present your reasoning/criteria first when your message is bad news. Such a structure tends to “soften the message” while still giving a firm answer.

Writers often ask, “But what about the setup? I shouldn’t just jump into the message right off, should I?” In most situations, yes. If you feel the need for a rapport-building statement to begin your email, no harm done—unless you ramble on too long. (Example: Mention a mutual friend, common interest, past connection, or some appreciation.) But often such a statement works just as well, or even better, to close the email and prevents you from having to repeat yourself in a wrap-up line.

Other than these three variations (transmittals, directives, and bad news), you’ll do well to use the MADE Format™.

M:    The bottom-line summary message about an issue

A:    Next actions you want from the reader (follow-up actions or recommendations) or any actions you plan to take

D:   Any necessary details that need elaboration (often the why and how need further explanation)

E:    Any attachments as evidence to clarify, persuade, or make the action easier

REMEMBER THE ONE-MESSAGE, ONE-EMAIL RULE

Invariably, when you try to tackle more than one topic per email, the drafting becomes clunky and, more importantly, your reader will typically pick up on one message and miss the other. Another dilemma for the reader: What to do when one topic in the email needs to be forwarded for action or input and the other message is unrelated and will only confuse the second reader?

Example 10 shows a multi-message email that will likely split the reader’s attention.

EXAMPLE 10. Avoid multiple messages in a single email.

The writer of this email has two summary messages and two actions:

First Message:

I’ve recapped the guidelines from our meetings.

First Action:

Please confirm that I’ve understood your guidelines correctly.

Second Message:

I’m also interested in setting up corporate relationships with all our suppliers.

Second Action:

Would you please give me more detail on how to do this—particularly the partner contract?

It’s highly likely that the reader, Lee, will focus on (and reply to) one message and ignore the other. Even if Lee decides to provide detail on the partner contract, he may want to forward this email to a staff member to respond and send a boilerplate contract. If so, the opening part of the email will be irrelevant to that second reader.

Filing and later retrieval will also be a problem: Is this about the staff meeting? Or future partnerships? Thus, the general rule: One message, one email. In multi-message emails, one message will inevitably be relegated to play second fiddle.

USE CC AND BCC PROPERLY

Use the Cc feature when you want your primary reader (and others on the copy list) to see all who’ve received a copy of the same email. That alleviates duplication—their forwarding copies to each other.

If the primary reader wants to ask a question of someone on the copy list or delegate a task to them related to the email, that primary reader doesn’t need to repeat all the same details. They can just forward your email with their comment or question on top of your previous email.

The Bcc (blind copy) feature may prove more sensitive: With the Bcc feature, your primary reader doesn’t know that you’ve sent a copy to the person listed as Bcc. (The reason for a Bcc might be political—or completely harmless. That is, you may be writing to a client about a meeting cancellation and Bcc someone internally, for example, so they know to cancel related travel arrangements).

Most often, however, the Bcc feature is used when you’re sending a blast to a large group and you don’t want to reveal everyone’s email address—for two reasons, privacy and clutter. If you intend to copy others without having someone hit REPLY ALL, which reveals the addresses of everyone on your list (either intentionally or accidentally), send the email to yourself. Then place all the readers on your Bcc distribution list.

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With these essentials in mind, you’ll write shorter, clearer emails in half the time!