SECTION 6.0
Developing Emotional Intelligence Training: Theoretical and Empirical Underpinnings
To date, developing an emotional intelligence (EI) training program based upon the evaluation studies presents a number of challenges, not least due to the limited data available regarding those factors associated with the design of these programs that may have been associated with their effectiveness. The following details the chief considerations and theoretical insights that were drawn upon to inform the development of the EI training program evaluated here.
6.1 The Duration of Programs
The first challenge in designing an appropriate EI training program concerns the optimal duration of training, which is likely to then result in some favorable impact. A major problem here is that of the seven EI training and development studies thus far available in the literature, only four of these were actually designed to target EI abilities as opposed to other EI models. Furthermore, all but one of these studies were based on student populations with the program delivered in an educational setting. Issues of generalizability, beyond student populations to workers in organizational settings, are therefore an issue. Furthermore, attempting to isolate these design factors, which may have contributed to improvements in emotional intelligence from educational programs, presents particular challenges. For example, Moriarty and Buckley (2003) describe a program that took place 2 hours per week over 12 weeks, plus additional weekly team meetings. Groves, McEnrue, and Shen (2008) describe an 11-week course, although the cumulative time involved in sessions is not specified. Clarke (2007b), by contrast, outlined a 14-week course, which consisted of a 1-day specific EI training session followed by teams meeting on a project-based activity over the 14-week period. The only three programs reported, which were targeted at those in actual work settings, reported durations of training programs ranging from a few days for dentists and their administrative staff (Meyer et al., 2004), to a 5-day course over 5 weeks for retail managers (Slaski & Cartwight, 2003). Elsewhere, EI training courses for employees have also been reported as being effective after 4 or 5 days, divided into two segments separated by 1 or 2 months (www.eiconsortium.org). Although there is no definitive answer to the optimal duration of a training program, the only message one can draw with any certainty here is that it does seem clear that participants require a period of time with which to embed any new learning and to practice developing their emotional competences or abilities. This would seem to suggest that although training programs can offer a platform from which to begin the development of emotional intelligence, there is likely to be some time delay before any significant change or improvements are realized.
6.2 The Content: Developing Self-Awareness
There were a number of more general aspects of how these programs were structured and designed, from which certain factors could be identified, that may have been associated with their effectiveness. The extent to which these figured in most of the studies evaluated that did show some positive results does give a strong indication that these factors may be significant.
6.2.1 Understanding the Concept of EI
A clear and consistent message that can be drawn from most of the studies evaluated was, that in every instance, there was a sustained focus on developing self-awareness of emotional intelligence and either the abilities or competences that comprise it. Each program began with imparting information on the model of emotional intelligence that underpinned the program and identifying the significance of emotional intelligence for understanding behavior and interpersonal relationships.
6.2.2 Awareness of One's Own Emotional Intelligence Strengths and Weaknesses
A further consistent feature of most training programs evaluated to date was that participants either received insights into or feedback on their own emotional abilities or competences. In some instances, this began with feedback on the results of any EI test that had been undertaken which was seen as an integral part of beginning the process for potential development. Depending upon the model of emotional intelligence underpinning the program, participants then engaged in a range of activities and exercises designed to enable them to receive real-time feedback on differing aspects of their emotional intelligence. In two studies, there appeared to be a specific focus on recognizing emotional display (Clarke, 2007b; Slaski & Cartwiright, 2003). Elfenbein (2003) has provided empirical support for the impact that training can have in improving this emotional ability and identified how through practice, trainees can improve the accuracy with which they recognize displays of emotion through both facial display and other forms of nonverbal behavior. In a number of these programs, there were also exercises provided on how to better regulate emotions and consider the impact of emotions on others (Clarke, 2007b; Slaski & Cartwright, 2003), in one instance, with a focus on conflict management (Moriarty & Buckley, 2003).
6.2.3 Learning Methods
A number of these studies also reported the frequent use of three-learning methods, in particular those that were used to support the development of training participants’ self-awareness of emotional intelligence. The first study used structured exercises in order to provide participants’ insights into aspects of their interpersonal behavior or preferences. In two studies, there was a specific focus on examining individuals’ emotional responses to situations and how emotions then impact on their own and others’ behaviors (Slaski & Cartwright, 2003; Clarke, 2007b). A focus on effective teamwork behaviors in two studies was also used to examine the emotional dimensions of behavior (Moriarty & Buckley, 2003; Groves et al., 2008). In addition, there was extensive use made of simulations and role plays in order for participants to demonstrate or practice emotional abilities or competences, and where they received feedback on these, either from other participants or a facilitator. Finally in some instances, there was mention made of a coaching element as a key feature of these programs, where participants received ongoing feedback on their own abilities and areas for personal improvement during the actual development intervention (Groves et al., 2003; Slaski & Cartwright, 2003; Moriarty & Buckley, 2003).
6.3 Designing Emotional Intelligence Training: Drawing From the Wider Literature
There exists a vast literature that has accumulated over the past 50 years that has been drawn upon to underpin the design and delivery of training and development programs (Ford, Kozlowski, Kraiger, Salas, & Teachout, 1997; Goldstein, 1993; Latham, 1988; Quinones & Ehrenstein, 1997). Much of this material is still valid and continues to form the basis for developing many types of training programs, especially those that are concerned with the development of certain types of skills or increasing particular types of knowledge. However, the use of training programs, especially those typically based on behaviorist learning principles as a means to secure learning and change, have been found to be deficient over recent years, as the knowledge and skills required of much of the workforce has increased in complexity. Indeed, studies have continued to highlight the limitations of training programs to often achieve the aims and objectives that were set for them with increasing difficulties encountered in securing the actual transfer of training to use on the job (Clarke, 2001; Ford & Weissbein, 1997). The influence of the work environment to which trainees return, as well as differing job constraints, combine with motivational issues to often impede the success of training (Clarke, 2002, 2006c; Rouillier & Goldstein, 1993; Tracey, Tannenbaum, & Kavagnah, 1995). Inevitably, this has led to an increasing focus on post-training or follow-up strategies in an attempt to improve the success of training in achieving the improvements that the designers had in mind (Gist, Stevens, & Bavetta, 1991; Marx, 1982; Wexley & Baldwin, 1986). Improvements in the design of training programs, however, have also followed, often with increasing use of experiential learning methods as a means to improve learning and retention on training programs (Kolb, 1985). Nevertheless, critics still point to considerable limitations with such an approach as the best means for supporting learning for use in the workplace (Beckett, 1999; Raelin, 2000).
Specifically, in relation to emotional intelligence training, we are confronted with additional problems which pose further challenges in considering how best to design development interventions. Most typical approaches to the design of training draw upon behaviorist and cognitive theories of learning (Goldstein, 1993; Ford et al., 1997). Typically, there is a focus on breaking complex skills down to smaller skill elements with trainees practicing more elementary skills, receiving feedback to improve performance, and then gradually consolidating learning so as to master more complex skills. Cognitive approaches focus on maximizing trainees’ abilities to memorize and retain new information, and attempt to apply novel information to new problems. Cherniss, Goleman, Emmerling, Cowan, and Adler (1998) highlight how the development of social and emotional competences and abilities pose very different challenges for learning since they involve different areas of the brain, and may present very different motivational issues for those engaged in the process. They make a number of key points that highlight a need for learning that engages the emotional centers of the brain. Drawing upon research from fields as diverse as sports psychology, psychotherapy, and personal change, they highlight three points of particular significance:
6.3.1 Emotional Learning Involves Other Areas of the Brain
Some emotional abilities or competences may involve the use of both cognitive and emotional areas of the brain. Although higher cognitive abilities related to information processing are situated in the neocortex, the emotional centers exist elsewhere, particularly in the amygdala, which is located deeper in the brain. The neural pathways that run between these centers develop over a person's lifetime and reflect habitual responses to situations and stimuli that are learned very early on and become difficult to change. The intimate interactions between thought, feelings, and actions become firmly established and supported by the existing network of neural pathways between the emotional and higher cognitive regions of the brain. Attempting to develop emotional abilities that reflect how we process and deal with emotional information requires that we engage these pathways and engage in activities or experiences that provide new insights and alternative solutions, thus extending our response options. This in turn will create further neural circuitry.
This has several implications for the design of emotional intelligence training programs. The most important is the need to engage individuals in experiential activities where they are engaging both these areas of the brain simultaneously. It means considering the inclusion of activities that are likely to generate sufficient emotional content which can form the basis for reflection and discussion. Next, it suggests that individuals need to be involved in exercises or simulations where they are able to receive feedback on how these emotional abilities are put into action so they are able to consider any changes they wish to make. This may take some time and require individuals to engage in critical thinking and reflect on relevant experiences far beyond those provided on a training program. Finally it suggests that there may also be a need for unlearning, if established ways of doing things, such as how one has regulated their emotions or managed impulsive behavior, are found to be in need of change.
6.3.2 Emotional Learning Challenges Issues of Identity
It would seem clear from 6.3.1 that developing emotional competences or abilities involves engaging on a far more personal level with training than many individuals may have done in the past. This raises immediate questions of managing participant expectations of the training and allaying any anxieties it may generate. This is likely to have a significant influence on either participants’ motivation to engage in the training in the first place, or how they interact when they are physically present on the training program itself. Effectively preparing participants prior to their attending training would therefore seem important to ensuring that they know what to expect and feel comfortable with the content of the program. Gaining insights into one's emotional competences, which are evidently a far more personal and intimate part of one's persona, necessitates that individuals confront issues about who they are and what information on emotional competence means to them. Therefore, there is a significant emphasis needed for the creation of a safe and supportive environment where participants are able to gain insights into their own emotional abilities without feeling a threat to their self-esteem.
6.3.3 Emotional Learning Requires Insight and Feedback
Chernis et al. (1998) also stress the importance of self-awareness of one's emotional competences as a central part of any EI development program; therefore, activities should be designed to maximize insight and feedback to the individual in these areas. Individuals are mostly less aware of their strengths and weaknesses in these aspects of their abilities, even though they may have more general views as to how well they may perform in social situations or in personal interactions. Providing simulations and role plays that involve participants in demonstrating these competences should offer opportunities for participants to receive feedback on how they may have used their emotional competences; these are powerful mechanisms for providing insight and promoting personal growth. This places a significant emphasis on the need for individuals to provide feedback in a sensitive way to avoid the issue of individuals becoming defensive and, in so doing, closing themselves off from learning. Considering how feedback is given and planning for structured feedback on the program are likely to be of greater benefit to the participants involved and offer more opportunity for motivating change.
6.4 Developing Emotional Intelligence: Insights From Workplace Learning
Beyond the use of training programs to support learning, a considerable body of literature has been built up over the past two decades, in particular, demonstrating the significant advantages offered through learning new knowledge and skills on the job or in the workplace itself, referred to as workplace learning (Boud & Garrick, 1999; Conlon, 2004). Specifically in relation to the development of emotional intelligence, Clarke (2006a) posited a model as to how emotional abilities may develop through workplace learning based upon qualitative data he obtained from a study conducted involving hospices. Importantly, he suggested that emotional abilities can develop as a result of staff day-to-day interactions with their colleagues and supervisors, through a number of key learning mechanisms.
Firstly, he showed that many of these healthcare workers made considerable use of emotional information as part of their work role and that their emotional abilities were particularly enhanced through a process of focused dialogue and reflection. This development centered on their developing greater proficiency as part of increased professionalization in recognizing emotions, using their knowledge of emotions to inform their healthcare practice, and managing their own emotions and also helping others to regulate their emotional responses. Supportive organizational structures that promoted the discussion of emotion and focused on how to manage emotions also influenced development and learning. Clarke labeled this process of developing emotional intelligence abilities through ongoing dialogue with colleagues and peers and structured reflection on the emotional content arising from work as “emotional knowledge work.” There was also an indication that much of this learning may also occur through more tacit or intuitive means, which is often outside the conscious awareness of the learner, but through dialogue and reflection, this learning was brought into a more conscious awareness on the part of the learner. The key elements of the workplace learning model showing how EI abilities develop are shown in Figure 1. The model posits a number of mechanisms by which emotional intelligence abilities potentially develop. The major points are as follows:
(1)Individuals utilize and learn about their emotional abilities in social encounters within the workplace, where they are constantly presented with emotional knowledge as part of their work role. This emotional knowledge is given meaning as individuals negotiate their relationships and the impact of their behaviors specifically within workplace social structures (Lave & Wenger 1991). Over time, they develop greater competence in recognizing the cues that prompt emotional responses and their impact, through participating in opportunities for learning offered by emotional experiences.
(2)This learning occurs when reflection on these emotional experiences takes place alongside dialogue with their colleagues and peers, a process referred to as “emotional knowledge work.” Where workplaces have a culture that supports such reflection and dialogue, in addition to providing opportunities for staff to do so, this offers greater opportunities for emotional intelligence abilities to develop.
(3)Through strengthening social ties within workgroups, individuals enhance their identification with these groups, thereby increasing opportunities for emotional learning and knowledge exchange to occur (Brown & Duguid 1991).
(4)There is also a tacit element associated with the development of emotional intelligence abilities, such that learning and development can also occur outside the conscious awareness of the learner through observation and vicarious learning (Bandura, 1986). Again emotional knowledge work can help in bringing this tacit knowledge to a state of more conscious awareness in learners.
The model recognizes that it is the workplace itself which represents one of the most significant loci for generating emotions in people's lives (Weiss & Cropanzano, 1996), but further explains that social learning within groups, teams, and other key relationships within organizations also provides the means through which the abilities that comprise emotional intelligence might be enhanced. The model also places significant emphasis on the organization's culture in terms of the support it may or may not offer for effectively engaging with the emotional content of work; and this may influence opportunities for EI development. On the basis of this model, training programs would seem to be more limited mechanisms for generating learning opportunities associated with emotional knowledge work and thereby developing emotional intelligence abilities. However, the model does offer a number of insights into how emotional intelligence abilities may develop which can be drawn upon in order to increase the effectiveness of an emotional intelligence training program. These were used to underpin the EI training program evaluated here and were as follows:
(1) Maximize Real-Life Opportunities for Experiencing Emotions. Since the development of emotional abilities according to Clarke's model must start with an emotional substrate, activities need to be designed that are able to generate real emotions among training participants. As far as possible, then, cases or situations that form the basis of developmental activities should attempt to integrate or approximate real-life situations involving significant emotional content as far as possible.
(2) Provide Sufficient Opportunity for Reflection and Dialogue. Participants need to be offered time to reflect on the emotions generated within scenarios and simulations on training, and to consider how their emotional abilities are being used within these contexts. Facilitating discussions between participants on how they understand and make sense of emotional information should therefore form a key component of the training program in order to support learning and development.
(3) Focus on Social and Emotional Norms Within the Workplace. The organizations to which participants belong play a significant part in determining the extent to which emotions and emotional knowledge generated is a source of learning and development dependent upon the social or emotional norms that are present (Wolff & Druskat, 2001). These may either offer pervasive cues that prevent discussion of emotions and their impact, or alternatively these may potentially offer more open and supportive climates that facilitate engagement with how people feel in the organization. Individuals are likely to experience far more restricted opportunities to develop their emotional abilities if, once they return to their workplaces, they return to unsupportive climates. Raising awareness of organizational emotional norms can assist individuals to consider how these might be challenged within their workplace social structures and identify how resources might be mobilized for challenging them.
(4) Sufficient Time for Development. One of the key findings from Clarke's (2006a) study of hospice workers indicating how emotional intelligence abilities may develop through workplace learning, was that this development involved some period of time and very much mirrored the workers’ sense of increasing professionalization in their work roles. This would strongly suggest that the development of emotional intelligence abilities occurs over a longer time frame than that typically provided on training programs. Training programs might offer a basis for raising awareness of emotional intelligence and initiating the process of EI development. However, it would seem that only through an ongoing and conscious effort on the part of the learner in consciously exercising these emotional abilities may significant improvements or changes eventually take place. Offering training participants clear advice for continuing to exercise these emotional abilities following their attendance in training should therefore form a key part of the training program. Through trainees attempting more deliberate reflections on how their emotional intelligence may be of use to them in their working lives, the learning process is more likely to continue with positive change and improvement.
6.5 Overview of the Training Program
The 2-day emotional intelligence training program was designed to draw upon the aforementioned principles in order to maximize the opportunity for developing emotional intelligence abilities. A key feature was the design of training materials, exercises, and case simulations that attempted to reflect real-life or actual project management contexts and work challenges. The objectives of the 2-day program and an outline of the 2 days were presented to training participants as follows:
6.5.1 Program Objectives
(1)To facilitate integration of your own personal experiences and thoughts of the emotional dimensions of working in projects with current understanding of the role that emotional intelligence plays in interpersonal behavior.
(2)To enable you to consider your strengths and weaknesses in how you manage the emotional content of project working so as to improve key project management competences.
(3)To assist you in developing emotional abilities that comprise emotional intelligence so as to improve teamwork and leadership behaviors in projects.
6.5.2 Program Overview
6.5.2.1 Day One Outline:
| 9:00–9:15 | Welcome, Introductions & Program Overview |
| 9:15–10:15 | Emotional Intelligence & Projects Presentation |
Here a Powerpoint lecture presentation was given explaining the nature of emotional intelligence, key findings from research, and its relevance for working in and managing projects.
| 10:15–10:30 | Break |
| 10:30–11:30 | Emotional Self Awareness: Confessors & Listeners |
Exercise/Activity: Exercise 1
The first major exercise of the program focused on examining emotional responses during personal interactions. Participants were asked to form pairs and take turns acting as a listener or confessor (talker) discussing something significant about themselves. The exercise was designed so that one of the listeners during the exercise was purposefully negative or obstructive. All participants discussed their emotional responses during the exercise in a large plenary group afterwards. Details of the exercise can be found in Appendix 2.
| 11:30–12:30 | Recognizing Emotional Display |
Exercise/Activity: Exercise 2
The second exercise of the training program aimed to target improvements in participants’ ability to perceive emotions in others. The exercise involved watching a short video clip taken from a well-known movie and then attempting to interpret the meaning and emotions associated with the nonverbal communication and body language that was conveyed in the clip. Details of the exercise can be found in Appendix 3.
| 12.30–1.30 | Lunch |
| 1.30–2.30 | Rapport & Empathy |
Exercise/Activity: Exercises 3 & 4
The third major exercise focused on communicating emotional understanding through rapport and empathy. This involved two exercises. The first asked participants to consider the content of verbal empathetic messages and how to convey empathy using some simple case vignettes. The second more substantial exercise required participants to form pairs and practise rapport generating behaviors and communicating empathy. Details of the exercise can be found in Appendix 4.
| 2.30–3.15 | Project Case Role Plays |
Exercise/Activity: Exercise 5
This substantial exercise in the training program aimed to establish a closer identification between emotional intelligence abilities and the behaviors demonstrated by project managers in project situations. Three case study role plays were developed based on the literature or realistic case scenarios. Each case role play had two roles which were played by a training participant. A third training participant acted as an observer and recorded the personal interaction that took place. The aim of the exercise was for participants to gain insights into their more habitual behaviors that may be socio-emotional positive or socio-emotional negative. Different case role plays were used on each of the three occasions the training program was delivered that were more suited to the work context of the trainees. Details of the exercise and role play material can be found in Appendix 5.
| 3.15–3.30 | Break |
| 3.30–4.30 | Project Case Role Plays Continued & Debrief |
| 4.30–5.15 | Emotional Climate Exercise |
Exercise/Activity: Exercise 6
The final exercise of the first day offered an opportunity for trainees to identify the characteristics of their organizational, work, and project climates that they believed may impact on their using emotionally intelligent behavior. The exercise aimed for delegates to consider the significance of the post-training environment and strategies they might use in order to support the use of emotional intelligence in their roles as project managers. Details of the exercise can be found in Appendix 6.
| 5.15–5.30 | Summary of Day & Debrief |
| 5.30 | Close |
6.5.2.2 Day Two Overview:
The second day was designed to use and apply the information and learning from the first day but with a specific focus on conflict management. The delegates were provided with an overview of conflict styles and strategy and were then were given a process and opportunity to practice engaging in a difficult conversation.
| 9.00–9.15 | Tea/Coffee |
| 9.15–9.30 | Welcome, Introductions & Overview of Day |
| 9.30–9.45 | Video of Group Exercise: Working together as a team to make a perfect square with a rope |
Exercise/Activity
The important thing about this exercise was that there was as little explanation as possible—the understanding was by doing. The exercise required that the group form a circle. Each participant was required to wear a blindfold (blindfolds were placed on the chair of each participant). The participants were told to make a shape with the rope placed in the centre (square or circle). They were given four minutes to complete the task.
| 9.45–10.30 | Emotional Intelligence in Projects: Large Group Exercise What Does Emotionally Intelligent Behavior Look Like in Project Managers? |
Exercise /Activity
The first exercise was a large group exercise that asked participants to brainstorm what they considered emotionally intelligent behavior looked like in projects. Individuals were asked to suggest specific behaviors that they thought were underpinned by high emotional intelligence and these were recorded on a flip chart by the facilitator. The aim of the exercise was to develop a greater understanding of how emotional intelligence was used by project managers using specific work examples generated by participants.
| 10:30–10.45 | Break |
| 10.45–1.00 | The Nature of Conflict in Projects and Personal Conflict Handling Styles |
Exercise/Activity
At this stage it was felt necessary to communicate to the group that conflict was inevitable and normalized the appearance of conflict in the workplace. Understandably when people think of conflict, they may think of it in a variety of different ways. So, one of the best ways to get some understanding is to ask the group. The group was asked to write down the first thing that they thought of when thinking about conflict. They were then asked to share with the group their thoughts and these were then recorded. Then, as a group, they worked through the definition of conflict (as defined by CEDR).
Conflict – Constructive/Destructive
The earlier discussion revealed that conflict was often considered to be more negative and that people try to avoid engaging in conflict. However, there are occasions where conflict is necessary to ensure the success of a project and it provides some additional assistance to the effective functioning of a project team.
Different types of conflict were introduced:
- Task conflict—what should be done?
- Process conflict—how should we do the task?
- Relationship conflict—who should do what? How should they interact?
Once individuals realized that conflict was something that could be managed, then they should have been more willing to deal with it proactively. This brought in the concept of proportional conflict composition, the idea that there should be a certain amount of conflict; timing is key to the perception of conflict as being either positive or negative.
For example: A project is assigned to a team—what should they do to minimize conflict?
- Process conflict—At the beginning of a project there will be moderately high levels of process conflict (work is agreed upon, deadlines set, responsibilities are established); however, this will diminish as the project continues and will increase again as the project comes to completion.
- Task conflict—At the beginning of a project there should be a fairly low level of task conflict (otherwise it will interfere with procedural issues), but this will increase as the project nears the mid-stage and then decrease at the end of the project (so that consensus can be achieved).
- Relationship conflict—This type of conflict is never helpful. It usually will disguise itself as another type of conflict (task or process) and thus will often not be dealt with until it is too late.
| 1.00–2.00 | Lunch |
| 2.00–3.00 | Conflict and Trust in Projects |
Exercise
An exercise was designed to demonstrate the interplay between constructive conflict and the different types of conflict. Although the exercise appeared to be fairly easy, many individuals had difficulty in identifying the different types of conflict (most were able to identify the constructive and destructive graphs). This also provided an opportunity for individuals to chart and discuss their own conflict situation.
Conflict Styles and Strategy
Different people deal with conflict in a variety of ways and the best way to illustrate this was to introduce and use the Thomas Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument (TKI). The participants were asked to complete the TKI earlier and the results were used as part of the discussion. (When an individual has completed the TKI, they receive a score, which identifies their conflict style preference and some of the characteristics of their style. The score also provided some guidance on when to use a particular style and signs of underuse and overuse.) This challenged participants to think of working with conflict in a different way—perhaps moving away from their preferred style of functioning to a situation that requires a specific strategy.
The TKI identified different styles (preferences) of dealing with conflict. The five styles are:
- Compete
- Avoid
- Compromise
- Accommodate
- Collaborate
The components of each style were explained to the group and were introduced on X–Y axis (cooperativeness = individual attempts to satisfy concerns of others; and assertiveness = individual attempts to satisfy own concerns).
Conflict Management Indicator
This is a short questionnaire that uses a conflict experience from the past to answer questions.
Exercise/Activity
- Completion of the short questionnaire
- Returned the questionnaire to the trainer
- Brief discussion of some of the issues this might have raised
Learning Objective
- Identified that conflict had a major negative impact in and outside of the workplace
- Examined the impact of conflict and how it has become a major factor in the workplace
- Established the importance of an effective conflict management process
This questionnaire gave individuals another way of thinking about a previous conflict and how it was managed. Several of the questions were quite probing (there was a question that asked about the destructiveness of the conflict). Because the questionnaires were collected, the trainers could compare the answers of a couple of different questions (this was useful particularly to a team leader who could then be able to understand how the team members had dealt with prior conflicts).
| 3.00–3.15 | Break |
| 3.15–4.30 | Handling Difficult Conversations |
Managing Relationships – Difficult Conversations
The session began by asking (and discussing) what made a conversation difficult. The trainers then introduced the concept that in general there are three different types of conversations:
- What happened—the back story
- Identity—what does this say about the person
- Feelings—what should people do with their emotions
Then the idea was introduced that individuals should think about three things (components) before engaging in a difficult conversation. The three components are:
- Preparation
- Emotion
- Feedback
Preparation
One of the most important and most overlooked elements is adequate preparation. When an individual is prepared to have a conversation, they will have the confidence to engage appropriately; this is particularly essential when dealing with situations where facts/details are in question. The underlying theme is being prepared to know when and how to engage in a difficult conversation.
Emotions
When dealing with emotions there are three things that should be considered:
- Recognize the emotion (and emotional content of the conversation)
- Respect their emotion (and emotional reaction)
- Respond—deal with their emotion as well as your own
Also, when thinking about the conversation, it is helpful for individuals to move from:
- Certainty to curiosity
- Intention to impact
- Blame to contribution
Feedback
- Giving and receiving of feedback
- A necessary part of any managerial function
- Think of how feedback will be received by the other person
- Understand emotional reaction to feedback (by both giver and receiver)
Exercise/Activity
- Show an example of a difficult conversation that went well.
- Show an example of a difficult conversation that was unsuccessful.
- Think of a difficult conversation that you need to have.
- Complete the preparation sheet (to help understand how to prepare).
- Practice having a difficult conversation (in groups of three – taking turns, with each person having the conversation with another person while the third person was observing).
| 4.30–5.15 | Viewing Group Video: Discussion of Personal Behaviors, Strengths, and Competences |
Conflict Styles and Strategy Review
During this session, the trainer wrapped-up some of the information about conflict styles and strategy that will have been introduced throughout the day.
- The ‘“rope” exercise was replayed to the group.
- Divided into groups of four, each group was asked to watch the replay and observe the following:
- Each group was asked to report back; then the discussion was opened up to the group for comments and draw out learning points. In particular there was a focus on (1) how the group interacted over the period of the exercise, (2) evolution of emotions and conflict in “project” time span, (3) identifying task, process, and relationship conflict, (4) identifying what (if any) styles of conflict were displayed, and (5) identifying how people were using emotional intelligence.
| 5.15–5.30 | Summary of Day & Debrief |
A brief review of the objectives from the beginning of the day. Discussed how they were covered and what (if any) additional comments the trainer/participants might have had.
| 5.30 | Close |