7
GO FOR THE GOLD: NAVIGATE A JOB OFFER
All your hard work and preparation finally pay off when you receive that long-anticipated call offering you a job.
Instead of experiencing an instant rush of adrenaline, introverts can be rendered speechless by a job offer and fail to negotiate the best terms. But there is no need to panic or accept a job offer immediately. Trust your natural tendency to pause and reflect. Take time to digest the offer, heading off any sense of urgency or pressure. Rely on your own logic to methodically research salary ranges and the menu of benefits while factoring in your priorities and personal goals. Don't give in to your fear and discomfort by settling and accepting whatever is offered to you. Shortchanging yourself can affect your future earning potential because many employers take into consideration your salary history when deciding how much they are willing to pay you. It is unlikely that you will lose the offer if you ask for what you genuinely deserve in a direct and polite manner. The greater risk is that you don't ask for what you are worth and discover in time that you are underpaid; in this case, you may find yourself working day after day, burdened by lingering feelings of resentment.
In this chapter, I provide introverts a method for evaluating a job offer and show how the negotiation process actually takes advantage of an introvert's innate and admirable tendency to think through issues with care and deliberation. To demonstrate what you can achieve, I'll lead you step-by-step through the case of a senior market research manager who conquered his fear and hesitation as he negotiated his salary and benefits with great success.
You Got the Job!
After waiting on pins and needles for three weeks, the phone rings and the voice on the other end says, “We were very impressed by your experience and the results you achieved in your career so far. We would like to offer you the senior urban planner position at Black and Rodriguez consulting firm.” You listen intently as the HR representative articulates the initial details of the offer, including the salary information. You are told that you will receive an email later with the fleshed-out details of the offer, including benefits. However, resist the temptation to reply immediately with a resounding “Yes!” even though you are excited and eager to accept the offer. Instead, respond in a way that reinforces your enthusiasm for the position and lets them know that you look forward to reviewing the offer:
This is terrific news, and I am very excited about working for Black and Rodriguez. I look forward to your email so I can review the offer, including the benefits package. I will contact you if I have any questions. When do you need to hear back from me?
This signals that you are considering negotiating terms and want to carefully review the offer, with an opportunity to contact HR with questions, before giving your reply. Most employers will allow you three to five days to review an offer before you engage in any negotiations.
Money Isn't Everything
Before you get down to brass tacks of evaluating a job offer, consider the various ways this opportunity will support and advance your career. What potential does this job have for strengthening your skills, increasing your knowledge, and growing your network? Often, the major attraction in pursuing a fresh opportunity is the fact that it presents a challenge, even if it may be intimidating at first glance. Taking risks often tests the comfort level of the most secure individual. But you take a bigger gamble by missing out on an opportunity to nourish and progress in your career; for example, even if an offer is “only” a lateral move, it may present a different kind of experience with opportunities to bolster your professional skills.
Note: If you are a recent graduate or reentering the workforce, it may be difficult to negotiate for a higher salary, because you can't use professional experience as leverage. However, if you have acquired specialized knowledge or technical skills that are in high demand to the employer, you may have some bargaining power. Either way, pay attention to the techniques covered in this chapter. These are not just useful in the short term; as you forge ahead, these techniques will prove valuable throughout the development of your career.
First Things First: Consider Your Current Stats
To take full advantage of the negotiating process, first assess your current or most recent salary and benefit package. Often, the focus of your angst in negotiation regards salary. But in concentrating on salary, don't lose sight of your benefits, as these also convert into money. If your current employer is paying your full health benefits, it may be no gain at all—or even a loss—if the new employer increases your salary but only covers 50 percent of your health insurance.
Have the breakdown of your current salary and benefits right in front of you before the written offer ever comes in. When you receive the full offer in writing, you can make an intelligent and informed comparison between your current salary and benefits and what's laid out in the job offer. Even if you end up not accepting this offer, you can take all the work you have done to break down your existing salary and benefits and apply it to another offer down the road.
Your Recent Salary and Benefit Chart
The following chart is designed to help assess and quantify your most recent benefit package. Pay special attention to health insurance. Depending on your age and health status, you could be looking at a difference in cost between $5,000 to $10,000 between your current plan and the new employer's health insurance coverage presented in your job offer. If you are a gig worker, you might not have the kind of generous benefits offered to permanent employees, but don't let that stop you from carefully evaluating your needs and current salary range.
View this process as a short research project that uses your introverted energy to clearly identify the specifics of your salary and benefits. Once you calculate your most recent benefit and salary history, you will be in a powerful position because you'll be armed with real numbers.
Current Salary and Benefit Chart
Let the Negotiations Begin
Once you have plugged in the numbers related to your salary and benefit history, you can take the lead in a fact-based conversation with the hiring manager regarding your job offer. It is normal to feel some stress anticipating the need to negotiate certain terms of the offer, but don't let the timid side of your introverted nature creep in and take control. Decide that using the strengths of introversion will further rather than frustrate your efforts as you stride toward a successful negotiation.
Believe in Yourself
Before involving yourself with the details of salary and benefits, you need to understand your own worth. Introverts tend to be modest and avoid boasting, but this is not the time to swim against the tide. Instead, review your proud history of achievements, and then let your skill set shine. Remind yourself of the quality and extent of your experience, and take note of your industry knowledge or expertise. Then stack all of the hard-earned work and accomplishments up against the needs and requirements of the job description; this will demonstrate to the employer the numerous assets you bring to the table that will make you a valued member of the team.
It is okay to feel lucky that you received this offer, but balance that moment of appreciation with self-appreciation, and realize that the employer is just as lucky to have you join their organization.
Perform a Salary Analysis
After you receive the offer, the most obvious and basic area for careful analysis is salary. Some excellent online resources are available to help you research and evaluate salary ranges specifically related to your potential position. Payscale offers a free online survey that invites you to plug in the expected position title, years of experience in the field or industry, and the city where the position is located. You will also be asked for current or most recent compensation (which you already have from the salary/benefit chart). Once you complete the Payscale survey, you will receive a salary range for your expected position. You can check out additional online salary survey resources, such as Salarywizard, Salary.com, and LinkedIn Salary.
If you are a recent graduate, go to the National Association of Colleges and Employers' (NACE) online annual salary survey. Check out the NACE Salary Calculator Center for the most accurate salary data on college graduates. You might also contact your alma mater's career service office and ask for recent graduate placement surveys. Here you will find a listing of salaries for a range of positions secured by alumni at a variety of companies.
Other factors, such as company size and location, may impact compensation ranges. For example, early-stage startups may not pay as much as businesses with an established history. However, working for a startup is an opportunity to take on an assortment of roles, as opposed to working for a more traditional establishment in which one can get pigeonholed into just a single function. If the startup is successful, you might also benefit from stock options. This type of blooming and energizing work environment could be worth whatever salary you might trade it for and provide you with a diverse set of skills.
Once the official job offer arrives, you can plug in the numbers using the same chart you employed for your current compensation. This will give you a clear comparison of salary against benefits.
Should You Negotiate Salary?
You might be surprised to learn that most employers are not locked into the salary they initially quote; rather, they expect that you will negotiate. The typical large business or corporation generally has wiggle room in a range of $5,000 to $10,000. For a higher-level executive position, this range may be more liberal. For nonprofits, the range of motion is more subtle, closer to the $2,500 to $5,000 range, unless an executive-level position is in the offing.
Don't let your status as a recent college graduate cause you to undercut yourself. You may still have some power to negotiate to the tune of $500 to $1,000 based on past experiences and achievements in the field through internships, leadership, or volunteer activities.
The greatest saboteur in salary negotiations is self-doubt. Don't let your angst or fears rob you of a lifetime of hard-earned income. Ask for more because you have done your homework, understand your worth, and know you deserve it.
A recent study conducted by researchers at George Mason University and Temple University found that individuals who negotiated salaries compared with those who didn't negotiate increased their starting pay by an average of $5,000.1 Therefore, if you have researched salary ranges for your position and analyzed your value, and you still believe you deserve a higher starting salary, be courageous and ask for it.
Investigate Options for Benefits
Salary may be the first element that comes to mind, but it is only one side of the negotiating coin. Place equal consideration on the benefits package. Larger companies will probably have a menu of benefits and policies related to health insurance, leave, and disability arrangements. If these are written in stone, you may not have quite as much leverage to cobble together a custom-made benefits package. Therefore, be aware of additional options the employer may be open to discussing; these usually don't involve a monetary investment by the company but may connect with your deeply held career vision or long-term ambitions. Although it's normal to want to further your income, don't minimize the goal of furthering happiness in your life, too. Here are some possibilities to consider for negotiations that focus more on personal career goals.
Position title: You are excited about assuming more responsibility in this new position, but you feel the job title doesn't accurately reflect your promotion to a higher level or scope of responsibility. Job titles can vary depending on the size of the organization and company culture; to research various job titles with similar responsibilities, you can use the same online salary surveys already discussed. You might also speak with colleagues to identify trends in titles that match your job description and operational experience.
If you've done your research and you are still dissatisfied with the title presented in the offer, suggest one you believe better reflects your career advancement and scope of responsibility in this new position. Career advancement can be affected by something as simple as a title, so keep in mind that your trip up the future ladder is what you are negotiating here—and it won't cost the company a penny!
Time off: Enriching your personal life can make the compensation package more desirable, too. Although work life is at the forefront of your thinking at this crucial time, the fact that you have a life beyond work may be worth considering as a point for negotiation. A few extra paid days off can be a welcome boost to your compensation package and balance your personal life at the same time. And this, too, won't injure the company's bottom line.
Flextime: According to a national study conducted by the Families and Work Institute, Society for Human Resource Management, and When Work Works organizations in 2013, the majority of companies offer a flextime option to some of its employees.2 This takes the form of flexible work schedules, working part of the week at home, or telecommuting. Several other research studies found that where this kind of flexibility is available, workers were more productive and less likely to leave their jobs. Introverts are often attracted to this type of benefit since it appeals to their need for a break in the action. They enjoy the tranquility and solo time to perform work tasks at home or perched in a quiet corner at Starbucks. Before tossing the flextime card onto the table, however, be sure to determine existing company policy and history.
Professional development: In this age of acceleration, you are expected to continuously increase your knowledge base and sharpen your skills. If you hit a wall regarding salary, you might negotiate for reimbursement for learning experiences such as tuition, leadership training, professional association membership, or conference fees. These are not benefits that threaten to bust a company's budget and will demonstrate that you have high ambitions and will bring learning and professionalism into the workplace. Also, these professional development experiences provide you with the opportunity to expand your network and professional visibility. Better yet, such opportunities for professional development can advance your career in the future.
Explore Compensation Packages
Once you complete the salary research and carefully review the total compensation offered, identify what an ideal compensation package would look like to you. First off, this package should recognize and respect your market value. Start by determining the highest possible salary and benefits combination you would like to receive and the lowest you would be willing to accept. Failing to think through the highest and lowest acceptable figures will put you in a position of hesitation. This could result in gumming up the flow of the negotiation and threaten your chance of negotiating a compensation package that you can live with. Having your aspirational high and acceptable low in mind can potentially result in a final offer somewhere in the middle, giving you better terms than you started with. Let's see how Carol, a young physician, negotiated an offer to work at a larger practice once she took the time to evaluate her priorities and research salary ranges.
Negotiation for Salary and Specific Needs: Carol the Physician
Carol, a family practice physician with four years of experience, makes an annual salary of $130,000 with full health benefits and a 401(k) retirement plan. She was offered a great opportunity to work at a larger practice with a salary of $140,000 and similar benefits. She is a single parent of a five-year-old son, and although she understands the demands of family practice, she wants to make sure she has quality time to spend with her young child. She has also been approached to teach a course on patient care at the medical school nearby—a career opportunity she looks forward to accepting.
Carol discovered that in her area, the average salary of family practice physicians with more than five years' experience is $158,000. After analyzing the package offered by the employer, she wants her annual salary to be closer to $150,000 because it's a larger practice that will require some advanced responsibilities. She would also like to negotiate a flexible work schedule so she can spend time with her son and teach the patient care course, too. Based on her experience and skill set, she is not comfortable accepting a salary under $145,000 unless there is some give and take on benefits.
In the negotiations, she promoted her achievements and knowledge in family medicine to convince the partners of her worth and to consider offering her a higher salary and a flexible work schedule. She also used her research on salary ranges as a key point in the negotiations, which ultimately helped turn the outcome in her favor.
As a counter-offer, Carol was offered a salary of $148,000 with a flexible work schedule during which she can work 7 a.m. to 3 p.m. four days a week and then have the day off on Mondays. Because Carol had opened negotiations with a clear idea of highest and lowest salary and her top benefit option, she ended up with more; ultimately, she secured a salary on the higher end of her range, and a flexible working schedule that allows her quality time with her son and the opportunity to teach a course at the medical school.
Have a Strategy
Approach the negotiation process with the same preparation you would give to any important presentation. Treat it as a formal conversation for which you come prepared with organized thoughts and have practiced your delivery to the point that you sound fluent rather than stilted. Remember: This is not a competition. It is about establishing a meaningful relationship by listening earnestly, speaking up, and communicating clearly and effectively. Imagine that you and your hiring manager are allies, working together to solve a common problem. The viewpoint of each party is respectfully considered, each has the opportunity to voice their concern, and a final decision is reached that is mutually agreeable and satisfying. As an introvert you are expert at drawing out and processing the needs of the others, but make sure that the outcome of the dialogue is truly mutual and not a one-sided affair at your expense.
Six Points to Developing Your Strategy
As you define your goals, keep in mind that the big picture can be seen from two different perspectives: the employer's needs and your personal career goals. To help you think strategically, consider the following six points:
- You want the job: Be clear from the start of the conversation with an HR or hiring manager that you are genuinely excited and serious about the job offer. From this point of view, you have every right to negotiate for the best possible package. As you proceed, reinforce that your overriding interest and intention is to be the best match for the employer.
- They want you: The employer is your ally now. Consider that, out of the multitude of resumes reviewed, and out of all the other candidates interviewed for the position, you made the final cut. The already existing good feelings for you will be reinforced if you present your terms politely and diplomatically. When nervousness creeps up, recall the fact that the terms you request will allow you to be a more effective and harmonious employee. Keep in mind that you can be firm and persistent without being demanding or obnoxious.
- Make sure they understand your value: Your most powerful bargaining chip is your own flesh-and-blood market value. Don't let your anticipation or nervousness about what you are going to say in the negotiations offset the worth of what you bring to the table. Shift your thoughts to the positive qualities that secured your job offer in the first place: the record of your job performance, your hard-won achievements, and the array of your proven talents and skills. Add to this your research on salary ranges and benefits, and you have a convincing case for advocating for higher salary and better benefits.
- How badly do they need you? If there is a current demand in the job market for your experience, skills, and expertise, you may have a powerful bargaining chip to negotiate a better compensation package. Also, if there is an urgency to fill the position, the hiring manager may feel pressure to hire someone quickly. Whereas you don't necessarily want to take advantage of the employer's position, there is nothing immoral about benefiting from good timing while seizing upon a position of strength. This is the optimal result of negotiations when both parties profit: the company obtains the services they need in a timely fashion, and you will be a happy employee who looks forward to coming to work every day.
- Understand whom you are bargaining with: Knowing something about the personality, position, and needs of the person you are negotiating with can be valuable and provide leverage that may ease the process. At some point in the interview process, for example, the hiring manager may have expressed concern about the nature of your position. Or perhaps they hinted at organizational trends or challenges that might impact your position and division. Based on these issues, you might offer cogent suggestions or confidently point out how your specific strengths will be an asset in attacking problems and ameliorating concerns in the current organizational climate.
The nature of negotiations may also vary depending on whether you are dealing directly with the boss or with the HR representative. The boss may have the power to approve a more attractive salary request. It makes sense that they are more invested in advocating for you because they will directly benefit from bringing you on board. An HR professional may feel the need to adhere to fixed salary caps and benefit offerings.
- Gauge your bargaining position: You may have a stronger position in negotiating a job offer if you are currently employed than if you are out of work. Similarly, you may pull more weight if you received additional job offers. However, be careful not to pit organizations against each other, or you could lose them all.
Prepare a Negotiation Plan
As an introvert you naturally lean toward focused and methodical thinking. These are characteristics that lend themselves to creating a good strategy for negotiations. Once you have time to process and think through your approach, write down your priorities and goals, drafting a script or bulleted list of negotiation terms that will help you come to an agreement. Similar to interviewing, practicing out loud with a friend or colleague can also help you fix salient points in your mind and develop a polished presentation (when rehearsing, use the following outline for negotiation presentation as a guide). This kind of rehearsing can also reveal whether you are persuasive in your arguments. “Practice makes perfect,” as they say, and it will certainly make you feel more prepared and confident once you start the negotiation process.
Negotiation Presentation Outline
Confirmation: Reinforcing your interest in the position from the start.
Salary analysis: Presenting your research and salary analysis, and stating the reasons for requesting a higher salary (if this is a term you want to negotiate).
Benefit review: Review of benefit package and points for negotiation of benefits.
Priorities: Desired highest and lowest salary or benefits you will accept.
Personal market value: What you personally bring to the table: your experience, achievements, and skills that support the employer's needs.
Appreciation: Expressing gratitude for the employer's consideration of your request.
Adam: Negotiating a Job Offer
Adam, a quiet and successful senior market research manager in Baltimore was offered a position as vice president of market research for a digital technology company in Boston. He was genuinely excited about the company and a position that would advance his career, but he clammed up when I approached him about evaluating and negotiating the offer. Since the offer already constituted a promotion with a higher salary, Adam didn't think he should ask for anything more.
Before debating the benefits of negotiating, I had Adam list the benefits he regarded as most important from his current Salary and Benefit Chart (see pages 148–149) to compare with those offered for the new position:
Current
Salary: $85,000
Last bonus: $7,000
Health insurance: Company covered 75 percent for $6,500 annual premium
Vacation: Four weeks, plus seven holidays
401K retirement: Employer contribution 6 percent
New Position
Salary: $100,000
Estimated bonus: Based on previous year, $12,000
Health insurance: Company contribution 80 percent of $6,500 annual premium
Vacation: Three weeks, plus seven holidays
401K retirement: Employer contribution 4 percent
Adam's Goals
After listing his current and future compensation package, I had Adam research salary ranges that existed for similar VP market research positions. His research revealed that the average salary for large companies was closer to $127,000 (not including bonus). This information put his circumstances in a realistic context, giving him the confidence to view the offer from a different perspective and ultimately request a higher salary. Adam realized he would take on greater responsibility in this job that entitled him to compensation commensurate for his field and position. With a clearer view of the big picture, Adam also took into consideration that he needed a wage that would allow him to live comfortably in Boston, where the cost of living is higher than Baltimore.
An additional compelling factor was his age. At forty-five years old, Adam was starting to look more seriously at retirement savings. In analyzing the offer, he noted the reduction in employer contribution and recognized the need to negotiate a percentage increase that would strengthen his retirement situation. We also made sure that Adam would be able to maintain his interests outside work, especially travel, so although the offer provides three weeks of vacation, Adam decided to negotiate for four.
Adam's Value to the Employer
To help solidify his confidence, I had Adam review his qualifications and experience relevant to the position. An MBA with eighteen years experience in technology market research, Adam began as a market research analyst and rose to senior market research manager. He is an expert in collecting and analyzing data on consumer insights that have successfully determined and outperformed projected sales of digital technology products. He also designed and introduced an interactive market research system that easily pulls out available customer data to accurately predict market trends—a system that particularly interests the hiring manager. Adam knows the combination of his experience, creative thinking, and sharp analytical skills can help this company launch new products that will generate high revenues. With a renewed sense of confidence and clarity about his strengths and value, Adam mapped out his terms for negotiation.
Adam's Ideal Package
Salary: $115,000 (mid-size company); top priority. (If the bonus nears $10,000, his total will be close to $125,000.)
401K: Employer contribution 6 percent
Vacation: Four weeks a year
Lowest salary willing to accept: $107,000
Adam's Negotiation Outline
Before moving on to practicing negotiations, I had Adam organize the content of his presentation using the negotiation outline.
Confirmation: Interest in the VP market research position.
Salary research analysis: Salary average of $128,000 in large companies for comparable positions, plus increase in cost of living.
Benefit review: Higher employer contribution (6 percent) for retirement plan and increased paid vacation.
Priorities: Salary (first); retirement (second); vacation (third).
Personal market value: Skills and knowledge that lead to success in sales and creation of new data system.
Appreciation: Thanking hiring manager for (hopefully) considering Adam's requests.
The Rehearsal
Once Adam identified the full range of priorities to be considered in the course of negotiations, we did some role-playing, with myself in the role of the employer.
When it came time for his real negotiation, Adam was prepared. With knowledge and self-assurance based on a thorough review of priorities and analysis of the compensation package, Adam was confident about asking for more. Further supported by a carefully rehearsed practice session, Adam articulated a strong case for negotiating a higher salary and benefits. He was able to do this in a manner that showed the employer they were hiring a person of substance who would be a valued advocate for the company. At the same time, he negotiated a more satisfying work situation that would bolster his self-respect. In the end, Adam pulled off the negotiations with flying colors, achieving a positive outcome all around.
The Final Offer
Salary: $108,500 (Salary to be reviewed in six months with possible 5 percent raise based on performance.)
Relocation support: $2,500
Retirement contribution: 4 percent first year, 5 percent second year
Vacation: Two extra days first year, four weeks second year
As satisfactory as these numbers sounded, Adam still did not rush to accept. With continued focus on his long-term goals, he asked the hiring manager to consider increasing the retirement contribution to 6 percent in the second year. The hiring manager agreed to review this in a year based on his performance. So although Adam initially resisted negotiating his offer, he ended up with an additional $11,000 plus two extra vacation days.
Negotiating Styles and Scenarios
No two negotiations are the same—after all, the dialogue is always between two distinct individuals, each with a personal style of communication. Here you'll find some advice on effective approaches to incorporate into your style—and some common pitfalls to avoid. Also included here are pointers on navigating negotiations with very different players: an extrovert or a fellow introvert. And what do you do if an employer won't budge on salary? We'll cover that, too.
Three Negotiation Style Mistakes
- Avoiding: Adam's immediate instincts told him to just accept the offer as is or he might lose any chance of getting hired at all. Avoiding is a self-defeating style used to resist any situation hinting of a conflict. What should be avoided instead is playing to any deep-seated lack of self-esteem and that little voice inside that whispers negative thoughts. If you can just quiet that voice and put aside the rationalizations, you will be amazed at how much they do indeed want you.
- Accommodating: When you hold the company's needs above all others, you naturally minimize your own and weaken your position. Introverts often fall prey to adopting the accommodating style of negotiation because they are quick to support and listen to the needs of others. Unfortunately, this style of negotiation can be as risk averse as the avoiding style. Don't give in at the first indication that the hiring manager is questioning your requests. Zero in on your priorities and negotiate with your ultimate goals in mind. When you focus on the employer's concerns, and consequently minimize your own needs and desires, you basically accommodate the employer at your own expense. In this scenario, you are likely to walk away from negotiations feeling disappointment and a sense of injustice.
- Compromising: This negotiation style is based on making trades. For example, you might trade a salary increase for a type of benefit because you see it as a fair trade for the employer. When using the compromising style, each party gains something they want, but it can be a tricky process for the introvert. In particular, empathizing with the employer's needs may put your own priorities at risk. Although considering the employer's needs is not a bad approach, you may lose out on some terms that are priorities for you because you want to help out the employer.
Two Ideal Approaches
- Collaborating: In this style of negotiating, you and the hiring manager work together toward a solution, rather than competing with one another by trading terms. Your role is to understand the hiring manager's challenges, and to look for solutions that incorporate each other's needs. The collaborating style is essentially a conversation that explores various options in search of an agreement—an understanding that meets the goals of each party as closely as possible, while avoiding a power struggle. This is a good exercise for future reference because the person you are collaborating with may become your direct supervisor. Use this style with diplomacy and clarity to establish a congenial precedent that models the respect you will show your supervisor, colleagues, and support staff when you come onboard in this new position.
- Employing strong, confident language: Accept the fact that some butterflies will flutter in your stomach just before you present your negotiation points. It's only human considering that this process may affect your work life for the foreseeable future. Mask the nervousness by communicating your points in an assertive manner, using words that come across as both clear and strong. Avoid deflating expressions such as: “I feel that . . .” or “I just want to ask . . .” Instead, introduce phrases that speak to confidence, like: “At this point I would like to discuss . . .” or “My experience has made me certain that . . .” Using language that reflects strength and confidence engenders respect and admiration—which often leads to a positive response or outcome overall.
Negotiating With an Extrovert
Sometimes you psych yourself up for negotiations only to be confronted by the ultimate extrovert. In the face of your potential new boss's overt friendliness and hard-wired energy dominating the conversation, you turn inward. You aren't sure when to break in, but this is not a good time to subtract yourself from the equation. Instead, let your spirit rise to the occasion. The best way to handle this potential scenario is by using reflective listening. This well-respected technique in humanistic psychology acknowledges the speaker by commenting or restating what you heard your speaker say.
This method will help form a connection with the person who may be your new boss and allow you to introduce your points for negotiation such as salary, benefits, or work terms. Reflective listening can demand your patience as well as a concerted effort to amiably speak up. Here's an example of an introvert using this technique with an extrovert HR representative who had been going on for some time about specific challenges in the department:
Maria, I certainly understand the position you are in as you face the existing challenges in your department and the restrictions set by human resources, especially where benefits are concerned. While not minimizing these issues, I would like to talk with you more about salary and see if there is a possibility of working at home at least once a week.
The fact is, reflective listening is natural for introverts. It allows you to fall back on those valuable traits of your introverted personality—perceptive, observant, being a good listener—when negotiating with an ultra-extroverted hiring manager. Using this technique, you can simultaneously turn what you are hearing into respect for the speaker and advocacy for your own needs and expectations. If anxiety rears its head as the extroverted manager takes over, avoid freezing up by taking a slow, deep reassuring breath. Override all the verbiage by reminding yourself of your purpose and goals. Then, find that relevant moment to jump in. Remember: At some point, even an extrovert has to take a breath.
If you start on the right foot with an extrovert during negotiations, you may find they form a strong bond with you.
Bargaining With an Introvert
A manager who leans toward introversion might open the conversation in a friendly but reserved way. Instead of taking control of the conversation, the manager might focus immediately on you and make sure that you fully understand the compensation package. Or they might get right to the point and ask if you have any questions or concerns.
After you present your points for negotiation, there may be a pause as the hiring manager thinks over your requests. Avoid the temptation to allay your nervousness by rushing in simply to fill the gap with sound. Allowing the silence will be far more productive than anything you might say and will give the hiring manager the necessary space to process the items just discussed. If it were you in their position, you too would appreciate a breather to gather your thoughts. In negotiations with an introvert, it is during this pause that the points you pitched may be under consideration. So let the introverted manager ponder without interruption; in the momentary silence, you may hear the sound of the cash register ringing!
The main advantage you have when negotiating with an introvert is that they listen to you uninterrupted, and you are likely to have enough space to sell your points. They may not respond or engage a lot, or they may even ask for more time to consider your requests, but this is no cause for concern. Just be patient.
Negotiations Breakdown: When Salary Won't Budge
There are situations in which the employer's hands are tied when it comes to bumping up your salary. If you really want the job, ask that your salary request be revisited after a few months, at least by six. By that time, you will have proven your value, and the organization will be more inclined to increase your salary to ensure your continued services. No employer wants to lose a top performer.
Also recognize when it's time to walk away. If you know you can't live on the salary or believe it is way below your experience and credentials, you won't be happy. Turning down an offer for good reasons also reflects self-respect. If you decide to decline the position, end the negotiations on a positive note, expressing your appreciation for their time, your respect and admiration for the company mission, and your regret for having to turn down the offer. You never know if you will run into the HR representative or manager in the future.
Negotiating as a Life Skill
As your career unfolds, your ability to negotiate will impact your potential to achieve your goals and the gains that you deserve. The more you take risks to negotiate with senior leaders and colleagues, the more your confidence will soar and fuel your power in the workplace. Your employer will view your ability to negotiate with respect, as well as a sign of self-confidence and skill. Even with preparation and practice, you may not always succeed, but you will continue to grow professionally and maintain a healthy self-esteem.