IN THIS CHAPTER

Adapting traditional grammar rules to texts, emails, and blog posts

Creating proper and effective presentation slides

When you and your 5,000 closest friends communicate on a social networking site, should you worry about grammar? The answer is a definite maybe. Electronic media — texts, instant messages, tweets, emails, social media posts, and the like — have bent some traditional grammar rules and broken more than a few. I’m not upset about these changes. In fact, I’m happy that the written word is making a comeback. But some rules may be broken without creating confusion, and some may not.

In this chapter I explain what you can get away with — and when — and what sends you to the grammar penitentiary. I also show you the ins and outs of presentation slides, so you can fire off bullet points with confidence.

Knowing Your Audience: The Right Writing for the Right Situation

In some situations you may want to write informally, without sacrificing meaning, of course. If you’re dealing with a friend or co-worker, you can generally drop a few words and punctuation marks, especially if you’re limited to 200 or so characters (letters and spaces) in your message. Your peers probably don’t care about capital letters either (though in my experience every crowd has at least one stickler for the rules, and yes, I’m the stickler in my crowd). When you’re aiming upward — writing to a boss, teacher, parole board, whatever — proper English is safest. Social media and blog posts fall somewhere in the middle. You may want a relaxed, just-kicked-off-my-shoes tone. In that case, go for informal language. If you want readers to see you as an authority, stick with Standard English.

Most instant messages make do without a “greeting” — the Dear Sir, or Hi, Pamela! sort of comment — and a closing such as Sincerely, Best, and the like. Emails sometimes drop these also. If you do include a greeting line and a closing, capitalize the greeting and the name, and the first word of the closing. If a closing (Sincerely yours, for example) has more than one word, capitalize the first word only.

Take a look at these excerpts from texts, instant messages, tweets (140-character messages, which may soon increase to 280 characters), blogs or social media posts, and emails. Decide which message, if any, is most appropriate for the intended audience and the medium.

Shortening Your Message

A character in Shakespeare’s Hamlet proclaims that “brevity is the soul of wit.” It’s also the soul of most communication these days. Maybe because electronic media zings words back and forth quickly, readers expect you to get to the point fast. Whatever the reason, you need to know how to say more with fewer words when you text, send an instant message, or tweet (send a message that’s 140 or 280 characters long).

In this section I explain how to cut away elements of Standard English. Before you cut, be sure to consider the identity of the person reading your message. The preceding section, “Knowing Your Audience: The Right Writing for the Right Situation,” explains when you can break grammar rules. This section concentrates on how a message may be shortened.

Here are some guidelines for the chopping block:

• Consider dropping the subject. If I type “attended meeting,” you can probably figure out that I attended the meeting. If someone else went, you should include the name (“Bob attended meeting”) unless the reader knows whom you’re discussing.
• You can usually drop articles. A, an, and the are seldom important.
• Use abbreviations, but carefully. Some abbreviations (such as FYI for “for your information”) are commonly known, but others (F2F for “face to face”) may mystify readers who don’t frequent social-networking sites. Think about your reader as you type an abbreviation. When in doubt, write the whole word.
• Never drop punctuation that adds meaning. If you type, “Deal?” you’re asking someone to commit. “Deal” either conveys information (“I agree to your terms”) or gives a command (“deal with it”). The question mark makes a difference.

I sharpened my knife and whittled down these messages. Which shortenings, if any, are short but understandable? Assume that you’re writing to a co-worker or friend and that your goals are accuracy, clarity, and brevity.

Powering Up Your Presentation Slides

Do you spend your days dodging bullets? I’m not talking about target practice but rather the little round dots, stars, or checkmarks that create lists in PowerPoint-style presentation slides and in other spots (memos, for example). If you are dodging bullets, it may be because you’re not sure what to capitalize and where to place punctuation marks. To help you, here are some bullet points on bullet points:

• A title or introductory sentence should precede every list. Notice that this list is set up by a sentence (To help you, here are some bullet points on bullet points).
• Titles should be centered and capitalized. The rules for capitals are in Chapter 13. Don’t place quotation marks around a centered title. Also, avoid full-sentence titles.
• Introductory sentences, if complete, may end with a colon. A colon (one dot on top of another) sets up this bulleted list. Don’t place a colon in a partial sentence, such as “Projected earnings for 2018 are.” Omit punctuation entirely after that sort of introduction.
• If the bullet point is a complete sentence, capitalize the first word and use an endmark (period, question mark, exclamation point). The bullet points in this list are complete sentences, so they follow this rule.
• If the bullet point isn’t a complete sentence, don’t capitalize the first word or use an endmark. This sort of list often follows an introductory statement that isn’t a complete sentence.
• Grammatically, every bullet point should match. If one bullet point is a complete sentence, all the bullet points should be complete sentences. Or, all the bullet points may be phrases. In grammar terms, the items should be parallel. I discuss parallel structure in detail in Chapter 18.

Time to target some bullet points. Below are some sample “slides” from a presentation, without capital letters or punctuation. Underneath each slide is a list of corrections. Select all the corrections needed to create a grammatically correct slide.

Calling All Overachievers: Extra Practice with Electronic Media

The employee who created the slide presentation in the following figure slept through every single grammar lesson she ever had. Now it’s up to you to correct her errors. You should find ten mistakes.

Answers to Electronic Media Problems

New forms of communication often bring new rules. See if you understand the grammar of electronic media by checking your answers here.

1 I. Option II is filled with problems. No matter who your reader is, you should avoid incorrect spelling (terible). Also, why lowercase the personal pronoun I? It’s not much harder or time-consuming to add an apostrophe to I’m. Options III is worse, as it includes abbreviations and shortened words (chix) that would be better for a text to a friend than a post on a website. Option I obeys the rules of standard English — not a bad idea for someone who wants to be taken seriously as a reviewer.

2 I. You don’t have to write all the information in option III, which is far too wordy for a text. By the time the boss finishes reading those unnecessary words, the client may have moved to another supplier in sheer frustration. All the same ideas come through in option I, which is shorter, and though not formal, stays close enough to Standard English to please a boss. Option II is far too informal for a message to someone with more power than you (brAkr isn’t standard, for example).

3 III. The meaning as expressed in option III is clear, and because the lobbyist wants to convince voters that the ideas are the product of an intelligent being, proper grammar and spelling are a plus. The other two are vague and more suited for a community that expects informality. The hashtags (the # symbols) are intended to rally like-minded readers to join together, but it’s hard to gather support for an ill-defined cause.

4 IV. If Leo seriously wants to be excused for missing a homework assignment, he should unearth every bit of grammar knowledge he has, because the teacher is an Authority Figure and deserves standard English.

5 I. Option III is far too wordy and stuffy, for social media and for anywhere else! Option II is too informal. The plus and equal signs don’t belong in a post about archeology from someone who wants the respect due to a professional in that field.

6 IV. Writing in a business setting should be more formal than these three options. Furthermore, if you’re postponing an interview, courtesy demands a reason (the building’s on fire, you have TB, a comet’s about to strike earth — something).

7 III. Option I isn’t wrong, exactly, but a close friend doesn’t need complete and proper sentences, especially when the professor has arrived and you’re supposed to be ready for class. Your peers probably understand words you shortened, especially an abbreviation such as ttyl (“talk to you later”) that frequently appears in texts and informal posts on social media. Option II is a little too vague.

8 I. In option I, the punctuation is correct, and the sentences make sense. Grandpa will be proud. The others may be acceptable (grandparents tend to give their grandchildren a lot of leeway), but it’s not particularly polite to leave your best grammar on the shelf when writing to someone older than you, especially when that person has done you a favor.

9 III. The tone of option III is conversational, but that’s fine in a blog post. The other options are better suited to a friend-to-friend text.

10 III. The senior class president should come across as friendly, but a bit serious also. Not to mention clear! A tweet to teens can include all sorts of abbreviations. But tlion, which appears in option I, is an abbreviation I made up. Inside my head. Just me! It means “the library is open now.” Option II doesn’t include all the information. Only option III has a clear meaning and sounds friendly but informal.

11 III. Options I and II have cut out too much. Did Lola steal $10,000? Could be, the way these texts read. Option III clarifies the situation. The abbreviation FYI (“for your information”) is standard, as is w/o (“without”) and K (“thousand”). The last sentence is clearly a plea for bail money.

12 II. Option II gets the job done. I wouldn’t mind cutting the for, but with that word the message sounds a little more respectable (not like Lola). The plus sign could also be an ampersand (&) or the word and. Options I and III aren’t clear. What’s cs? Prob? I made up the abbreviations, so anyone receiving this message isn’t likely to understand. The role of the lawyer is also murky in the too-short versions.

13 III. Option III is short, but not too short. The standard abbreviation for “as soon as possible” is ASAP, but you don’t really need the capital letters here. You could also cut p.m. from the message if you wish, as it’s unlikely that a jail would allow visitors at midnight. Option I is vague, and II uses the “greater than” math symbol in an attempt to show that Lulu’s going to Lola. Too far out for clarity!

14 I. Option I works. The abbreviation b/c (“because”) is standard, though you wouldn’t use it for formal writing. Notice that I deleted the verbs because the meaning comes through without them. I also substituted top penalty probable for the longer will probably give Lola the maximum penalty. The other options need CIA code-breakers. What are bitter cycles? Option I doesn’t tell you. Did Lola or the judge have an accident? You can’t tell from option III.

15 I. Isn’t it fun to put your sentences on a diet? (Much more enjoyable than the other sort of diet.) In option I, you have all the information you need at half the length. Option II has shed too many words. Option III is tempting, and if you know your reader really well, it might be fine. Because three people are involved in the story (the judge, Lola, and the texter), I prefer option I, which names Lola.

16 III. The shorter options don’t work because three people (the judge, Lola, and the texter) are possibilities. Only III supplies enough words to clarify the situation.

17 I and III. Because the introductory statement is a complete sentence, it should begin with a capital letter (option I) and end with a colon, which indicates that a list follows (option III). A comma shouldn’t introduce a bulleted list. The bullet points aren’t complete sentences, so no periods are necessary.

18 I, IV. The first word of the introductory statement needs a capital letter (option I). No punctuation follows have because the statement isn’t a complete sentence (options II and III). In the original list each item is a complete sentence, so they don’t combine well with the introductory statement. The best bowling shoes for parakeets have they have room … nope, I don’t think so. The bullets should be room for overgrown claws, bright colors, complimentary seed sticks, and clips rather than laces (option IV).

19 I. Did I catch you with this one? No punctuation is needed in the first line because are doesn’t complete the introductory sentence. Nor should you capitalize any of the bullet points, as they complete the sentence begun by the introductory statement. Option IV is tempting, but you’ve got three half sentences, one in each bullet point, all connected to the introductory line. Placing three periods doesn’t make sense. Some grammarians recommend a semicolon after each bullet point, with a period after the last. This is somewhat stuffy. My recommendation is no punctuation at all after the bullet points. The only change is a capital M for the first word in the introductory sentence (option I).

20 I, II, III, IV. This slide has a title, and titles need capital letters. The first two bullet points are complete sentences, so the third should match.

Here are the answers to the “Overachievers” section:

1 Capitalize the important words in a title. (See Chapter 13 for details.)

2 Separate a title from a subtitle with a colon (:).

3 Capitalize the first word of a subtitle.

4 Always place an endmark after a full-sentence bullet point; here a period is best.

5 The first bullet point is a complete sentence, so all the bullet points should also be complete sentences. (Alternate correction: Change all the bullet points to phrases.)

6 A complete sentence that makes a statement ends with a period.

7 One bullet point should not continue on to the next. Delete and and place a period at the end of this sentence.

8 This bullet point is a complete sentence, so it should begin with a capital letter.

9 This complete sentence needs an endmark — specifically, a period.

10 The original bullet point was not a complete sentence. To preserve uniformity, change this bullet point to a complete sentence by adding a verb.