PILATES FOR THE LEADER—HOW TO FURTHER STRENGTHEN OUR CORE
“Great leaders must give up the force of their habits.”
—SOCRATES
Anne grew up in Oregon. Her dad was an avid outdoorsman, hunting deer in the mountains and fishing for steelhead in the many coastal rivers. Despite her family’s love of the outdoors, Anne developed a fear of bears. As children, Anne and her sister, Nancy, shared a bedroom. One time in the middle of the night, Anne awakened suddenly and realized that a bear had wandered into their home and was actually asleep on the floor of their bedroom between their beds. She lay terrorized beyond belief and tried to remain quiet and motionless in her bed for what seemed like an eternity. She saw the bear’s blackish-brown fur rising and falling with each breath. The bear smelled, and it snored as it slept on their floor. Tears streaming down her cheeks, Anne was terrified that the bear might wake up. So paralyzing was her fear that she could not even call for help.
Although she felt completely immobilized, Anne realized that the only answer was to see if she could slip past the bear and get to her parents’ room. She knew her father would get his gun and save them from the bear. Without a sound she slid under her covers to the foot of the bed. Ever so quietly she tiptoed past the huge sleeping bear. She opened the door and ran to her parents’ bedroom crying hysterically for her dad. Startled from a deep sleep he ran groggily to her room and flipped on the light. There on the floor was Anne’s puffy brown duvet! You can probably understand why Anne’s parents sometimes referred to her as their “high strung” child. (Another unresolved family tension is that Anne has never satisfied Nancy with her explanation for why she left Nancy asleep in the room with the bear.)
Earlier in the book we established that our beliefs determine our behavior—how we feel and how we act—even if those beliefs are not true or even rational. Anne believed that a huge bear slept on her bedroom floor, and she acted accordingly, both in emotion (fear) and action (running to her dad).
When our core is breached, our beliefs become vulnerable to a host of lies, distortions, misbeliefs, and rationalizations. Protecting our core is of paramount importance if we want to have great impact as a leader. Over the course of this book, we looked at a number of disciplines to guard and develop our core. The purpose of this chapter is to make these ideas highly actionable. What should we do to sustain strong and effective leadership? Here are some actions you can start today:
DETERMINE YOUR NON-NEGOTIABLES
False beliefs love a vacuum. They move about to and fro looking for a place to lodge. If our beliefs are not carefully constructed, there are lots of competing beliefs out there only too happy to fill in the empty spaces.
Our core holds many beliefs on many subjects, some of which are subject to change based upon new information. I used to believe that abstract art was created by artists who had trouble painting something real. In fact, it is about applying paint in interesting ways using color and shapes to create visual interest. Anne has helped me understand that good nonrepresentational art is actually very difficult to create. When she told me I did not have to find something I recognized (like a barn in a snowstorm) I began to look at this art form differently. My beliefs about its artistic value changed.
Many beliefs, like my view of abstract art, are malleable, but there should be some foundational beliefs that are impregnable. We need to intentionally determine our core beliefs and ensure that they guide our behavior consistently. These few are my non-negotiables, for which I am willing to follow even at the cost of loss of favor or even loss of job. Here is a list of my personal foundational beliefs I adopted many years ago.
I believe that:
1. My primary mission in life is to honor God, live a life of integrity, and serve others in all that I do.
2. My second highest priority is to honor my family and provide for them and protect them.
3. Any accomplishments or successes I might have achieved are only because of God’s grace and the help of many great people.
4. Having work I love is one of life’s highest privileges. Those who provide me with an income must be served with every ounce of imagination and diligence I can muster. I do not want to coast into my retirement years. I do not want to “retire” from work until I cannot continue.
5. I have not been called to a “safe” life, in which there are no risks and all the questions are answered. I need to push against boundaries and to seek the wisdom of others to pursue new ideas.
These foundational beliefs get tested all the time, and unfortunately, I let competing misbeliefs take over from time to time, particularly when I am fatigued or excessively stressed. If you were with me for very long, you would see that my behavior often displays the disappointing consequences of violating these beliefs. My point in sharing my foundational beliefs with you is only to say that I am clear about what they are. When I am reflective and intentional, these codified beliefs guide my behavior in redemptive and fruitful directions. They give me a backdrop against which to test rival beliefs that routinely seek to enter my belief file. Goodness crowds out the bad. When I am stressed out, tired, or careless, these foundational beliefs become less accessible, and my core is more subject to being breached.
Our foundational beliefs are unique, personal, and often evolving as we learn from new experiences; however, I strongly urge you to determine what yours are. Think deeply about your beliefs and write them down. Be pithy and straightforward. This is not the place to strive for lofty language. Study your behavior and find where you regularly entertain misbeliefs that compromise your foundation. Be thoughtful and intentional about the life narrative that your foundational beliefs create. Ask yourself if this is the narrative you would want read at your funeral. Reflect on what changes you need to make. If there are areas of your life that are not working out well, look for the false beliefs that may have become lodged in your core.
CAREFULLY RECRUIT A PERSONAL BOARD OF DIRECTORS
Organizations rely on a board of directors to provide wisdom, accountability, and oversight. The board meets with the organization’s leaders to provide support and encouragement, to ask them the hard questions, to hold them accountable for results and commitments, and to make sure that the organization is operating soundly.
A “personal board of directors” is a huge idea for leaders who want to make an impact in the pursuit of their aspirations. These are individuals with whom you meet periodically to discuss and to contemplate various actions. In Chapter 14 Steve Reinemund pointed out how significant this type of group had been to him during his tenure as chairman and CEO of PepsiCo.
I have such a board as well, and when I am contemplating an important decision or feeling that an action is not going as intended, I seek the advice of my trusted advisors. These individuals also provide the moral support and accountability I need to make the tough decisions and hard changes both personally and organizationally.
Often I meet with my advisors individually, not as a group. These individuals are not friends but rather are trusted advisors. Their role is to support my best interests, not to agree with me. Individuals who do well in such a role are committed to me and have the character and courage to say no. They possess the experience, discernment, and judgment to provide wise counsel, and are credible, which fosters my trust in their advice.
In assembling your own personal board, focus on finding individuals you respect and who have been around the track more times than you have. Certainly, they should understand the type of organization for which you work. Just start meeting with them occasionally and talk about the challenges you are facing. You are not asking them to join a formal organization but rather to simply spend time talking about what matters to you.
BE VERY, VERY CAREFUL WITH POWER
We discussed in Chapter 6 that leadership and power are inseparable, and, when used well, power can create great impact for good. Ungoverned power can be dangerous, as it breaches the protective walls of our core, leading to arrogance and actions that are self-serving. Of particular concern is that these effects are so subtle, we might not even know it when our core is breached. When we have power we must exercise great self-awareness, wrap it in humility, and rein in its deleterious effects.
When we have power we must exercise great self-awareness, wrap it in humility, and rein in its deleterious effects.
As we grow in our responsibilities and the power that often accompanies them, it becomes even more important to build containment walls. For example, Steve Reinemund explained how he asked others to help in his newly assumed role to strengthen his day-to-day accountability.
The “derailment hall of fame” is full of executives who did not manage their power well. Humility and accountability are the best anecdotes for insulating our core from the negative influences of power.
PROACTIVELY ENGAGE IN FREQUENT AND INTENTIONAL INTROSPECTION
Accessing the beliefs and convictions that govern our behavior as leaders requires we conduct a persistent, courageous, and introspective inventory. This is particularly true as our foundational beliefs evolve over time. We must also identify and detonate false beliefs and repopulate our belief system to create the narrative we intend.
Questions we must ask ourselves are: Do we believe in the value of looking inside? Are we willing to make this a way of life? I am not talking about donning a robe and walking around with a vacant, ethereal look on our faces, but rather are we willing to take time to look at our behavior and to understand ourselves? Are we willing to fumble around a bit, learning to go deeper into our core? Are we willing to submit our beliefs to rigorous self-examination? Identify any reasons that make you resistant to looking deep and try challenging those reasons. Are the risks inherent in following a path of personal destruction enough to get our attention? Why are we any different from those who went off the rails ahead of us?
In Chapter 3 I presented “Background Influences,” such as family background, that shape who we are. I firmly believe that we do not have to live under the determination of what we learned earlier in our lives. We can certainly achieve escape velocity from any belief no matter how strongly entrenched it might be. We must ask, “Are we telling ourselves the truth?” We must ask if the narrative revealed in our self-talk is who we really want to become—our legacy.
LISTEN TO YOURSELF—AND TALK BACK
We must become effective at listening to our self-talk, but not always believing it. Our self-talk reveals the beliefs in our core, but it does not tell us which beliefs are right. We have to become effective at distinguishing the false beliefs from the true and then detonating the false ones. My work stationery has a watermark, so if I am printing a document I hold the stationery up to the light above my desk to look at the watermark to make sure I am printing on the correct side of the paper. One way to challenge our emerging beliefs is to hold them up against the light of our foundational beliefs. Ask yourself if your beliefs about a person or an opportunity are consistent with what you hold dear. If not, hit the detonation switch and replace them with beliefs that are consistent. Stopping a belief from lodging in our belief file is easier than blowing up an entrenched one.
MAINTAIN A ROBUST EARLY-WARNING SYSTEM
Most leaders headed for compromise have ample early warning to change course if they simply pay attention and heed the signals. A good rule of thumb is that if something doesn’t seem right, there is a good chance it is not. Use that insight to look deeper.
Often the early warning comes in the form of feedback from others. We will likely never know for sure, but it would be revealing to know if General Petraeus had early-warning signals. Did a trusted advisor ever caution him about how much time he was spending with Ms. Broadwell? The cover story that she was interviewing him to write his biography likely did not fool everyone.
An early-warning signal should be ready to go off when we start entertaining a prospective action such as, “What would it be like to . . . [fill in the blank]?” Our “What it would be like to” mental rehearsal is closer to becoming reality than we might think, because we are toying with a new belief. When the “What it would be like to” idea violates one of our foundational beliefs, a flashing red light should go off in our heads. In the absence of a warning, we begin to entertain the false belief in earnest. The “What it would be like to” becomes “I would like to.” Any foundational belief for which we lack real conviction becomes a prime target for substituting a “rational lie,” in this case, “It would be okay to. . . .” We all play these mental games, but to have a positive and lasting impact as a leader, we must intercept these ideas early and detonate the false beliefs before they become lodged in our core. Also, remember to hit the pause button when there is significant ambiguity about a given action.
RUN YOUR PERSONAL GALLUP SURVEY FREQUENTLY
As Steve Reinemund pointed out so well, most leaders are reluctant to provide feedback about personal behavior. People below you on the org chart are particularly reluctant to speak truth to power. Steve went to various constituents and made it clear that he needed their feedback to do his job well. He solicited their feedback. We must do the same. Feedback is vital to keeping us on course.
In asking for feedback from a trusted advisor, I have found that it helps to prime the pump. We might say, “I believe I could have handled this better if I told Sally before the meeting that she was coming on too strong about her idea for the new marketing campaign. As it turned out, I had to back her down during the meeting, and it made it awkward for everyone. How did you feel about that?” That invites further discussion about how you are leading the team.
It is also helpful to get feedback from multiple sources. An excellent tool used in many organizations is 360-degree feedback. This type of assessment instrument asks a number of questions about the person being rated. The questions are answered anonymously by the person’s peers, subordinates, and other knowledgeable parties. Usually the person’s boss also answers the questions except without anonymity. It opens wide the awareness window we talked about in Chapter 4. The first time I completed a 360-feedback exercise, I formed a panel that helped me understand the feedback results more completely. I assured the people on my panel that I was not interested in knowing how they personally rated me, but I did want their help in interpreting the feedback. My panel included direct reports who were mature and willing to be candid. The color commentary they provided on my 360-feedback results was tremendously helpful in elucidating the feedback my raters provided me.
BE YOUR OWN BEST CENSOR
Our belief file resides within our core and is subject to a host of influences. False beliefs are like dandelion seeds that float effortlessly over the wall of our core, seeking a nice place to lodge in our belief file. False beliefs lead to all kinds of errant behavior, including actions that place us at risk for catastrophic leadership failure.
False beliefs are like dandelion seeds that float effortlessly over the wall of our core, seeking a nice place to lodge in our belief file.
What parent would not exercise some discretion about movies their children see, TV programs they watch, or video games they play? Parents do this for children because their judgment has not matured enough to make good decisions for themselves. In the same way, we must “parent” ourselves and exercise good judgment about what we see and read.
I marvel at the power of media, and so I believe we have to be especially vigilant to not expose our core to anything we are not prepared to examine critically. The problem with media is that we usually watch a movie for entertainment at night when we are tired. Our defensive shields are down. There have been times when I chose to turn off movies at home or walked out of movies at the theater when I felt I did not have the mental/emotional energy to deconstruct its message thoughtfully.
Research has established the power of “modeling” in forming behavior in children. These same principles apply to adults. If we see someone who is cool and attractive, we are vulnerable to having their worldview seep into our belief system in an unconscious way. As insipid as most reality TV shows are, they can still exert subtle influences on our core.
We have to work this out however we see best, but if we want to be an effective leader who makes an impact, we cannot unthinkingly absorb the lowest common denominator values inherent in much of entertainment media. This process of being deliberately judicious includes the information media as well. We must be careful to not unthinkingly introject the ideas of writers and media journalists, even the ones we respect.
BE YOUR OWN JOURNALIST
A number of leaders with whom I meet carry a notebook with them throughout their day. Some use their iPad for the same purpose. They journal throughout the day to record what happens in meetings, phone calls, etc., as well as their thoughts and reflections about these interactions. Some of the notes concern follow-up actions, but perhaps even more important, these leaders capture what is going on inside them—their thoughts, feelings, observations, and judgments about their own work. My sense is that this is a really good idea. At the end of the day they record any insights in their journals, and turn insights into actions . . . “I will now do this.” On the weekend, they review their journal and note any trends and big ideas. This is an important practice that can dramatically raise self-awareness, resulting in better self-regulation. I recommend it highly.
DISCIPLINES TO STRENGTHEN OUR CORE
When I went to college, all students were required to complete four semesters of physical education classes. Because I loved the water, I took all my PE classes in a sequence that led to certification as a Red Cross Water Safety Instructor. I worked as a lifeguard one summer, though I never had to rescue anyone. Years later I spoke at a meeting in the small coastal town of Manta, Ecuador, where locals make the famous Panama hats. One day, the conference participants had the afternoon off for recreation, so a lot of us went over to a beautiful nearby beach. After visiting with a few of the other guests, I settled back for a siesta. I awakened to the sounds of panic. People on the beach were yelling about something. When I stood up and went to the water’s edge, I realized that a mother and her daughter were caught in a riptide. The strong current took them farther and farther from shore, and they were obviously in trouble. The beach did not have a lifeguard and none of the equipment our instructor taught us to use was available. I found a scraggly piece of rope and swam toward them.
By the time I arrived the two were flailing around in the water. I threw them the lifeline and pulled them parallel to the beach to get out of the riptide. Eventually with the help of a couple of other swimmers, we managed to get them to shore. The two were frightened and exhausted but relieved. (The rescue was caught on tape by a CNN reporter and shown all over the world—just kidding.)
Many people with whom I speak feel like they are in an organizational riptide. The chaos and uncertainty can be overwhelming. It is my heartfelt desire that this book proves to be a lifeline for you.
I believe that you aspire to be the kind of trusted leader who inspires others to give themselves unreservedly to your organization’s mission. You also want to be able to recognize and avoid the destructive path that so many seem to take today. Of course, you also want challenge and responsibility. You hope for recognition and advancement. You desire stimulating work. I also believe that you long to make an impact with your life. Applying the ideas and principles in this book will help you be a leader who makes an impact—the hope of every great leader.
It is tempting to read a book like this and put it on the shelf—I often do that with even good books. The stakes are so high that I hope you will make an exception and leave this book within easy reach. My purpose in writing this book was to help you become a great leader through strengthening and protecting your core. What I have described in this book requires discipline and thoughtful application that take time, but the payoffs are extraordinary. A strong core is at the epicenter of effective leadership and resulting impact. It prevents us from going down the terrible path of personal destruction that we see so many take. The lessons conveyed throughout this book and the disciplines summarized in this chapter, when practiced, will make us dramatically better at leading.
Not only are the stakes high, but our time to make an impact is limited. The psalmist had the right perspective when he prayed, “Lord, remind me how brief my time on earth will be. Remind me that my days are numbered—how fleeting my life is.”1 I wish the very best as you build a great legacy. . . and make an impact with your life.
Please go online to www.drtimirwin.com and take advantage of the free resources. Talk with trusted advisors about how to apply these principles.