A
Abu Ghraib prison (Iraq), 64
abuse of power, xix, 74, 159
accountability
day-to-day, 174
dearth of, 162
how do we make it work?, 158–59
major principles for leader, 167–68
personal, 160–62
spouses role in, 165–66
task vs. personal, 160
what is it?, 157–58
Acton (Lord), 59, 62, 70, 74
addiction to the superficial, 7
altruism, 54, 69
ambition, 56
American’s Favorite Places to Work list, xix
ancient proverbs, 1, 21, 37, 73, 87, 155
arrogance/arrogant
anecdote to, 78–80
Anthony Weiner and, 46
Bob Nardelli and, 76–77
compromised core and, 18
core is weakened by power and, 151
David Petraeus and, 52, 75
Derailed (book), 56
Esther (reality TV show), 80–81
Greek tragedy and, 74
high cost of, 74–77
impending doom and, 57
leaders are, 56
Martha Coakley, 74–75
as mother of all derailers, 78, 85
nonverbal signals of, 77
overconfidence and, 77
position of influence and, 115, 141
self-serving actions and, 173
self-serving focus and, 63
unchecked power, 64
vulnerability to, 82
“Wizard of Oz syndrome” and, 76
aspirations, 6–7, 52, 54, 56–57, 60–61, 148, 172
athletes, 13, 149
attitudes, 13, 23, 33, 65, 91
authenticity, 4, 22, 39–40, 91, 115
B
background influences, 27, 29–30
Barchans, Hal (Chairman), 181–82
Battle of Gettysburg, 3
beer truck, 30
behavior, errant, 106, 177
beliefs, 41. See also core; misbeliefs
about artistic value, 170–171
about bugs as objects of fear, 87–88
about consumer products, politics, and social attitudes, 91
about people and role as leaders, 128
about people guides behavior toward them, 104
acting inconsistently with, 166
adopting political or religious, 153
are a major governing factor in behavior, 14
are downright false, many, 91
are errant, 15, 91, 97, 105–6, 111, 117
are kept in a “belief file,” 89, 91, 95
are rational and well-founded, 92
are simply not true, 74, 91
are sound and true, 15
are true and grounded in reality, 91
are vulnerable to a host of lies, distortions, misbeliefs, and rationalizations, 170
background factors influence, 143
be careful what you believe, 88–89
in “belief file” of leaders, 150
can be influenced, 94–96
core, 171
of David Petraeus, 148
determine actions and emotions, 96
determine how we act as leaders, 88–89
determine how we lead, 133
determine our behavior, 88, 170, 174
determine what kind of leader we become, 124, 128
determine whether we live or die, 95
determine whether we succeed, 130
detonate false, 138–39, 174
do not determine whether we will live or die, 95
early-warning system and, 142, 175
errant, 91–92, 94, 105–6, 111, 117
false, 112–13, 115, 137, 142, 170, 172, 175, 177
foundational, 128, 133, 171–72, 174–76
govern our behavior, 91, 124
half-truths and, 137, 139, 141
heard in our own inner dialogue, 139
include dismissiveness, arrogance, impatience, and diminishment of others, 141
informed Chamberlain’s words, 122–123
listening to self-talk will ascertain our, 138
little to no conscious awareness of our, 92
make us effective as a leader, 95
marketing experts shape our, 91
misleading, 137
monitoring and managing of our, 149
must be intentional, 14
must be interrogated and put on trial for their life, 96
must be vetted, 95, 124
narcissism makes us more prone to find our, 112
need to be reconsidered or jettisoned, 91
need to challenge their authenticity, 91
nested in the depths of our core, 97, 133
our core holds, 170
our core vets, 15
power of the visual narrative to impact our, 153
questions to identify misbeliefs, 143–44
re-engineering our, 112
responsibility and power gives fuller expression to, 141
re-vetting our exiting, 150
self-examination of, 97, 174
self-induced wake-up call about, 149
self-talk feeds our, 102
self-talk reveals our, 102, 175
social media holds immense power to influence, 91
that followers are fundamentally lazy, 88
that followers are self-motivated, generally conscientious, 89
that followers make good decisions and require only broad oversight, 89
theoretical, 96
think deeply about your, 172
true, 150, 175
TV entertainment shapes our, 152
unconscious adoption of beliefs of prominent figures we admire, 92
unregulated power influences our, 74
we say to ourselves feeds our, 102
we skillfully engineer our, 139
Bligh, Captain, 124
blind area, 43
blind spots, 41–42, 45, 75
board of advisors, 161–62
board of directors, personal, 172–73
body language, 77, 83
Bond, James, 153
Breaking Bad, 106
Brown, Scott, 73–74
bureaucratic bungling, 1
Burke, Edmund, 54
Burns, Robert (Scottish poet), 42
C
carbon emissions, 60
careless word, 75
Cash, Johnny, 145
censor, be your own, 177–78
Chamberlain, Joshua Lawrence (Colonel), 2–4, 7, 15–16, 122–23, 183
chaplains of federal prison, 145
character, 9, 13, 68–69, 125, 163, 173
character failures, 159
chief repository of our beliefs, 14
Clint Eastwood movies, 79
Clinton (President), 113
Coakley, Martha (Democratic Senate candidate), 73–74
coercion, 89
cognitive dissonance, 101, 105
comments, regrettable, 22
commitment of followers, 122–24
commitment to others, 128
competence, xv, 13, 17–19, 67
competitive advantage, xix, 38
compromising position, 110
Confederate Army, 123
confidence, 10, 53, 57, 74, 78
conscience, 13
considerations, 13
core (person inside us). See also beliefs
about, 13–20, 23, 26
anecdotes for insulating, 174
arrogance erodes, 75
“belief file” resides in, 89, 91–92, 97, 177
beliefs, 96
beliefs about people reside in, 133
breaches to the protective walls of, 173
cognitive dissonance and, 105
competing thoughts within, 90
compromise to, 64
containment structure of, 68
containment walls of, 111
disciplines to protect, 117, 156, 167, 170
disciplines to strengthen our, 179–80
early-warning system and, 142
false beliefs and, 112, 137, 172, 176–77
flaws in, 44
guard, 32, 38, 78, 91
hard to see cracks in, 18–19
hidden aspects of, 45
humility wraps around, 79
leader’s, 10, 13–15
leadership starts with a strong, 17–18
learning to go deeper into, 174
listen to, 102–3, 107
listen to your, 102–3
media power and, 178
as a metaphor for the person inside us, 13
motivations at risk, 62
“operating protocols” to protect, 70
power acts forcefully on, 94
power and arrogance erodes, 151
power exerts an insidious effect on, 63
power weakens, 111
protecting, 45, 85, 170
protective membrane and, 153
re-engineering of our beliefs in, 112
self-awareness protects, 49
self-talk and, 100, 102, 175
speaking to, 104–5, 142, 149
steel plate guarding, 75
strengthening, 57
telling yourself the truth and, 139
three “faces” to a leader’s behavior and, 10–11
corporate
behavior, 156
leader, 12, 54, 68, 157
standards, 63
Cosmopolitan magazine article, 45–46
Costanza, George, 135
courage, 4, 20, 29, 46, 49, 54, 69, 81, 92, 95, 122, 145–46, 172–74
credibility, 18, 157
credibility loss, 146
Crimson Tide (movie), 125–26
cultural influences, 152
D
daily rat race, 7
day-to-day actions, 12
deception, 38, 80
denial, 55
Dennison, Doug (Charigan Holding’s CEO), xvii–xix
Derailed (Irwin), 57
desires, 13–14
determination, brazen, 6
diligence, 19
diminishment of others, 141
DISC Profile System, 35
disregard of other’s opinions, 56
dreaming, 149
dreams, 7, 61, 129, 149
E
early-warning signals, 57, 142–43, 167, 176
Edwards, John (Senator), 142
1812 Overture, 109
engagement of hearts and minds, 129
Enola Gay (nuclear bomber), 59
Entertainment Tonight, 102
errant behavior, 106, 177
errant beliefs, 91–92, 94, 105–6, 111, 117
Ester (reality TV show), 80–81
F
“faces” to leader’s behavior, 10–11
false beliefs, 112–13, 115, 137, 142, 170, 172, 175, 177
family-owned businesses, 67
fear of bugs, 87–88
feedback, 43–44, 47–49, 57, 66–67, 78, 84
feedback, 360-degree, 177
feelings, 13, 16, 23, 26, 30, 33, 37
Fifteenth Alabama Infantry, 2
forethought, 146–47
foundational beliefs, 128, 133, 174–76
friends, lifetime, 161
Fukushima nuclear power plant, 59
G
Game Change (Heilemann and Halperin), 111
Gandhi (movie), 12
Gandhi, Mahatma, 11–12
Gates, Bill (Microsoft), 140
Gettysburg (film), 2, 122
greed, 52
Greek tragedy, 74
H
habits, enduring, 28
half-truths, 137, 139, 141
Heinlein, Robert, 109
helplessness, learned, 146
heroic effort, 3, 44
high commitment, 5
high road, 51–52, 57
high school biology, 150–53
higher purpose, 7
higher sense of calling, 4
Hillenbrand, Laura, 95
Homeland Security official, 136
hubris, 74
human heart, deceitful, 55
humility, 4, 77–82, 84–85, 106, 141, 173–74, 182
humor, 21–22, 80
Hunter, Commander, 125–26
I
impulse control, 68
Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, 96
influences, background, 27, 29–30
influential leaders, 5–6, 11, 46
inner conversation, 29
inner dialogue, 101. See also self-talk
insecure, 18, 149
inspiration, 3–7, 12, 16, 22, 95, 126, 180
insurmountable odds, 3
integrity, 45, 52, 79, 117, 157, 159, 163, 171
“integrity of the hull,” 79
intentions, good, 19, 62
introjection, 128–29
introspection, 24, 46, 115, 153, 174–75
Introverts, 32
J
Jobs, Steve (Apple CEO), 5–6, 11
journal, 33
Jung, Carl (psychoanalyst), 55
K
Kennedy, Ted (Senator), 73–74
killers, ruthless, 153
King, Jr., Martin Luther, 61
Kozlowski, Dennis, 52, 93–94, 111
L
lack of
authenticity, 40, 115
clarity, 167
competence, 13, 19
courage, 29
employee acceptance, 127
knowledge or expertise, 77
respect, 74
self-awareness, 57, 77
self-regulation, 148
Larry the Cable Guy, 91
Lay, Kenneth (Enron), 52, 116–17
leaders (leader’s)
actions of a, 12
advice for young, 166–67
behavior, “faces” to a, 10–11
“belief file” of, 150
beliefs determine how we act as, 88–89
beliefs determine the kind of, 124, 128
conduct, 10, 12–13
core, 10, 13–15
corporate, 12, 54, 68, 157
great, 7–8, 12, 54, 78, 115–16, 129, 158, 169
influential, 5–6, 11, 46
principles of leader accountability, 167–68
self-aware, 56
style, 10–12
leadership
crisis, 53
effective, 4–5, 17, 53–54, 126, 170
great, 13, 16, 19, 25, 39, 129
is personal, 15
philosophy, 124–25
principles of good, 12
starts with a strong core, 17–18
three faces of, 17
time-tested equation, 126–28
leading from inside, 15–17
legacy, 7–8, 39, 54–55, 87, 102, 107, 116, 144, 148, 153, 157
Lewis, C. S., 78–79
Liar Liar (movie), 56
lies that leaders love, 113–14, 117–19
Lincoln, Abraham, 69
Little Round Top, 2–3
M
Macbeth (Shakespeare), 56
Madoff, Bernie, 61
“making an impact,” 7
management is positional, 15
management technique, 4–5, 123
manslaughter, 146
marketing experts, 91
marshmallow study, 147, 153
McNamara, Francis, 95
meaning
need for, 5–6
in people’s lives, 16
purpose and, 7, 89
of work, 129
meaningful difference, 7
mental rehearsal, 176
metaphysical core, 14
micromanager, 142
misbeliefs, 93, 137, 139, 141–43, 148, 170–72. See also beliefs
monk, hapless, 152
moral conviction, 143
motto of U. S. Navy, 121
Mutiny on the Bounty (movie), 124
Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, 35
N
Nardelli, Bob (CEO of Home Depot), 76, 125
National Leadership Index (Harvard), 53
near-death experience, 155
negative motives, 93
New York Times article, 165
noble aspirations, 7
non-negotiables, 170–72
nonverbal communication, 77
notebook, 178–79
nuclear power, 60
nurturing, 7
O
Obadiah (Hebrew prophet), 74
obsession with perfection, 55
operating protocols, 60, 70
organizational psychologist, 6–7, 9, 138, 156, 191
our shadow, 54–57, 77
overconfidence, 74, 77–78. See also confidence
P
passion for excellence, 6
Paterno, Joe (coach), 53–64
Patton (movie), 11
Patton, George (U.S. General), 11
people, influential, 63
people, what do we believe about them?, 125–26
People magazine, 102
perfectionism, 142–43
performance accountability, 156
“person” inside of us, 14
personal
behavior, 156–57, 160, 163, 168, 176
board of directors, 172–73
boundaries, 67
commitment, 124
containment systems, 62
feedback, 43
Gallup survey, 176–77
insights, 41
meaning, 123
narrative, 40–41
performance, 163
redline, 163
values, 92
Petraeus, David (general and CIA head), 17, 52, 63, 75, 115, 148, 165, 176
Phillips, Russell Allen, 95
Pickett’s Charge, 3
pontification, 23
positive difference, 6–7, 70
positive influence, 22
power
acquisition of, 94
be careful with, 173–74
can be highly addictive, 63–64
can be self-righteous, 64
corrupts, 62–63, 74
dark influence of, 67
failures, 159
negative influences of, 174
purpose of, 3–4, 6, 66
responsible use of, 66–68
sources, 60–62
symbols of, 83
used well, 80–82
principles of good leadership, 12
principles of leader accountability, 167–68
purpose
clear and compelling, 4
power of, 3–4, 6, 66
of war, 123
R
Ramsey, Captain, 125–26
rational lie, 176
rationalization, 15, 57, 164–67, 170
reason to act, 89–92
Reinemund, Steve (PepsiCo CEO), 156–57, 160–67, 172–173, 176
résumé of performance, 13
role model, 7, 88, 94, 151
Rothfuss, Patrick (author), 102
S
Schwarzkopf, Norman (General), 9
score cards, balanced, 160
Second Maine Infantry Regiment, 1
self-absorption, 31, 85
self-awareness
about, 23, 26, 28, 30, 38–39, 47
about power abuse, 67
arrogance as obstacle to, 75
belief change and, 112
core protection and, 49
curtain blocking our, 43
determination and, 28
as early-warning system, 63
growing out, 39–41
humility and, 174
inappropriate relationship and, 148
intentional introspection and, 153
journal writing and, 179
lack of, 57, 77
moment, 30, 148
self-examination and, 23, 26, 69, 115
self-regulation and, 66
strong core depends on, 15
Self-Awareness Survey, 33–35
self-deception, 48, 105–7, 110–15, 117, 137, 140, 143, 148
self-deprecating, 21, 80
self-deprecation, 80
self-discipline, 4
self-disclosure, 32, 40–41
self-discovery, 32
self-evaluation, 49
self-examination, 23–26, 28, 30–32, 35, 38–39, 45, 47, 69, 115
self-examination of beliefs, 97, 174
self-focus, 62–63, 74
self-importance, 63
self-induced wake-up call, 149
self-knowledge, 32
self-limiting liability, 25
self-motivated, 89, 131
self-perception, 42, 48
self-reflection, 27, 31–33
self-regulation, 23, 25, 35, 39, 47, 66, 115, 147–50, 153, 179
self-serving
Bernie Madoff and, 61
compromised core and, 18
decisions guided by, 75
narcissism and, 112
power puts core at risk, 62–63, 70, 94, 173
purposes, 94
shadow side and, 55
sign of impending doom, 57
self-talk
changing beliefs and, 112
effective leaders and, 141
feeds our beliefs, 102
as haphazard flow of thoughts, ideas, and feelings, 100
how does it work?, 103–4
intrapersonal communication, 101
lecturing ourselves, 101
listening and talking back to, 175
narrative revealed in our, 175
negative, 137
Psalm 16 and, 101
record what you’re hearing, 107
re-engineered, 138
resembles the voice of a parent or grandparent, 101
restraint and, 149
reveals our beliefs, 102, 175
“should I do this or not,” 101
of someone who is dismissive, arrogant, impatient, and diminishes of others, 141
speaking to our core, 104–5
three aspects of, 102
voice of our core, 15
what beliefs does it reveal?, 139
what does it tell us?, 102, 138
self-trickery, 111
sex abuse scandal, 53
sexual misconduct, 111
Shawshank Redemption, 99
shower curtain, 93–94
sizing up people, 5
social attitudes, 91
social media, 91, 167
Socrates, 169
sounding board, 32, 161–62
speech pattern, 91–92
spouses, 43
Springsteen, Bruce, 51
Stanford Prison Experiment, 65–66
Stewart, Martha, 52
stress tests, 59–60, 68–69
subordinates, 94, 177
T
team engagement, 130
thinking about how you think, 137–38
thoughts, 13, 23, 26, 32–33
Tohoku earthquake, 60
Tower of Pisa, 17
tracking systems, 160
transparency, 22
trust, 40
trust account, CEO’s, 146
trust violated, 38
trusted advisors, 34, 44, 46, 162, 173, 176, 180
trustworthy, 5, 17–18, 52, 63
truths about subordinates, 130–32
Twentieth Maine regiment, 1–3
Tyco International, 93–94
U
ultimate test, 68–69
United Air 232 flight, 44–45
Unthinkable (movie), 114–15
unthinking action, 75
U.S. military guards, 64
V
victim of circumstances, 28
video conferencing, 76
vigilance, 140
volition, 13, 63
Volkema, Mike (Herman Miller chairman), 77
W
wake-up call, 149
Wall Street Journal, xix
website: www.drtimirwin.com, 180
Weiner, Anthony (congressman), 45–46, 52
Wizard of Oz syndrome, 76
Woods, Tiger, 112, 115
working for money, 7
Z
Zamperini, Louis, 95
Zimbardo, Philip, 65
Zuckerberg, Mark (Facebook CEO), 10