CHAPTER 2

Reality Check

Know thyself.
—SOCRATES

Not every person is cut out for every job. And that’s OK. For some, being promoted can be a disastrous career step. Many times the best salesperson is promoted into sales management. Within a month, or even sooner, that same “best salesperson” has created nothing but chaos for that once crack sales team, customers, and everybody else. An excellent nurse may not be a good nursing supervisor. An outstanding insurance agent may not be a good corporate trainer. You get the picture. In fact, that outstanding salesperson, nurse, or agent would much rather be doing anything other than giving performance reviews.

Is it your manager’s responsibility to prevent this disaster from happening to you?

No. It is your responsibility to understand your talents, values, and desires and then develop the courage to move forward. In addition, it is your responsibility to evaluate how these elements fit the requirements of the position you may be seeking. If you find that there is a conflict within any of those areas, you are destined to be miserable. And, chances are, you will not be successful. The most rewarding opportunities are those that utilize your unique talents and provide you enjoyment and fulfillment—without conflicting with your values.

There are four tests you can give yourself to determine if you should pursue the next opportunity. Does the new position pass the talent, values, desire, and courage tests? Here’s how you can tell.

THE TALENT TEST

Don’t paint stripes on your back if you’re not a zebra.
Focus on building upon your unique abilities.
—LEE J. COLAN

Everyone has talents. These talents vary from person to person, but everyone has areas of excellence. The key to job satisfaction and long-term success is discovering what your talents are and becoming the best at putting these talents to work.

Your greatest area of expertise may be in your current job—there is nothing wrong with that. If this is the case, and you are reaching your goals, great. But if you have talents that exist beyond your current position, you’re cheating yourself and your employer by not pursuing advancement.

However, a word of caution: don’t confuse talent with desire.

Talent is being naturally gifted in a certain area. It may be writing, selling, auditing, human relations, nursing … whatever. Desire is completely different. It is something you would like to happen.

For instance, I would love to be a professional golfer. I have that burning desire, and I am willing to work 14 hours a day to make it happen. The problem is that I’m just an OK golfer. And frankly I do not think I could ever make a living playing golf, no matter how much I wanted it or how hard I tried. I would be thrilled to be on the golf tour, but that will never happen. I assure you, people would not pay to see me play golf.

What I realize is that my talents are in other areas, and it’s in those areas that I need to spend my energy. I can still enjoy golf as a hobby, but I can’t fool myself into thinking that it will ever be more than a hobby.

So, where are your areas of excellence? What activities are seldom boring, even when you are doing the same thing over and over? What do others say that you are especially good at doing? What comes naturally to you? What skills feel good and comfortable when you use them?

Discover those areas, and focus on finding the right place—the right job—that relies on them—your “talents,” your gifts.

THE VALUES TEST

There is no pillow as soft as a clear conscience.
—JOHN WOODEN

You probably know more than one extremely intelligent, successful person who is totally miserable. Their misery exists because their job clashes with their personal values. Maybe the job requires constant travel and time away from family. Or they have to work a schedule that keeps them away from participating in and enjoying their kids’ activities. The money may be great—but those people may be under constant stress because of their desire for more time at home.

Somewhere along the way, you will probably face a tough decision: Are you willing to sacrifice your personal values for short-term gain? Listen to yourself. Deep down, how do you feel about the situation? If money or prestige was not involved, would you be pursing this opportunity?

Before pursuing your next position—that next step up—know yourself and your values. Then check out what the position requires, and make sure that it won’t create a “values clash.” You may have to make trade-offs in some areas, but at least take the time to fully understand what’s involved in this give-and-take process. If the promotion is not right for you, for your sake and the sake of your organization, let it pass, and wait until your right opportunity appears.

THE DESIRE TEST

When work, commitment, and pleasure all become
one and you reach that deep well where passion lives,
nothing is impossible.
—ANONYMOUS

“Do I really want this promotion?” Only you know the answer.

If that next job is something that fits into your long-range plan, go for it. If it does not help you achieve your personal goals, let others pursue it. You can’t force yourself to like broccoli—you know yourself.

There is a price tag on every job. The price may involve taking time out to develop new skills. It may also contain a component that raises the “fear of the unknown.” It may put you in the position of becoming the manager of current associates, or it may put you in other types of uncomfortable situations.

The message here? Take the time to evaluate the price you may be called upon to pay, and match it up with your desires, values, and talents.

If you have a talent that coincides with your values, and you have a desire for that next job—go for it with all you have. However, if the results of any of the three tests—talent, values, and desire—are not positive, pass on this opportunity, and continue preparing for the job in which you will be more successful.

THE COURAGE TEST

Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the
courage to lose sight of the shore.
—ANDRÉ GIDE

Charlie Jones is a former sportscaster who covered several Olympic Games in his long and successful career. At the 1996 games in Atlanta, he was assigned to announce the rowing, canoeing, and kayaking events—a situation that left him less than thrilled since the events were broadcast at 7 a.m. and the venue was an hour’s drive from Atlanta. It was not exactly a prestige assignment for a Hall of Fame sportscaster.

What Jones discovered, however, was that it ended up being one of the most memorable sports events in his career. He gained a chance to understand the mental workings of these Olympic athletes. Preparing for the broadcast, Jones interviewed the rowers and asked them what they would do in case of rain, strong winds, or breaking an oar. The response was always the same: “That’s outside my boat.”

After hearing the same answer again and again, Jones realized that these Olympic athletes had a remarkable focus. In their attempt to win an Olympic medal, he wrote, “They were interested only in what they could control—and that was what was going on inside their boat.” Everything else was beyond their control and not worth expending any mental energy or attention that would distract them from their ultimate goal. Jones says that this insight made the event “by far the best Olympics of my life.”

We all have moments when we need to redirect our efforts “inside the boat” to keep ourselves focused.

There are some factors over which you have no choice, like how tall you are. There are other factors over which you have some control, like how much you weigh. There are still other factors over which you have total control, like your hair style or general grooming.

Being indispensable demands that you exhibit the courage to decide to spend time and resources on the factors that are within your control. Take control over what you can, and accept that some things are beyond your control, but do the best you can with them. Never give up improving the things that you can control.

People who lose courage may give up. Others may be paralyzed with fear. Some may talk but not act. They may be hiding and peeking around the corners to see if anyone believes the excuses they offer. Any of these excuses sound familiar?

“I just like to be comfortable.”

“I don’t care what people say or think of me.”

“One day, when I have time, I will …”

“I like to be unique.”

“Everybody else does …”

Insecurity leads to excuse justification. It is natural and easier to offer excuses than it is to take the blame for failure. Excuse-laden people impact everyone they come into contact with—journey complete, circumstances accepted, go on without me.

The Indispensable person takes control over what he or she controls and moves forward without excuses.

Perhaps it is uncomfortable, but look inside you. Are you making any excuses? Are you trying to convince others that you dress the way you do because it is comfortable? Are you telling others that “looks do not matter to you” and then hope they believe you? Are you telling others you don’t have enough time to … ? Do you have the courage to zap the excuses and move forward?

Know this: everyone has insecurities, fears, and weaknesses. There will always be someone prettier or more handsome. There will always be someone smarter, wiser. There will always be someone funnier, wittier. There will be issues in your past that have created scars and fear.

Perhaps because of your past you are wearing a mask. Maybe a mask made of unusual clothing, edgy hairstyle, unhealthy weight, or lone wolf attitude. But whatever the past, whatever the insecurity, going forward is a choice. You get to choose what your attitude, actions, appearance, and goals for tomorrow are. It may take effort. It will take courage. It will involve change. But it is a choice! Every day you wake up, you have the choice. Your future may be compromised and detoured by misfortune, but your future does not have to be ravaged. You may not wish to acknowledge it to yourself, but difficulties are not unique to you. We all share hard times at some point.

Whatever “it” is in your way will only win if you allow it. If you need professional help to address your issues, then see a counselor or join a mentoring group. If you need encouragement, find someone who loves you. Others have faced similar and maybe even more challenging obstacles. Franklin D. Roosevelt was paralyzed, Beethoven was deaf, Stevie Wonder was born blind, and John McCain was an injured prisoner of war for over five years. No problem is unique to you. Others have faced “it” and overcome “it.” You can too.

It takes courage to change from the known into the unknown. When you make a change of any kind, you are exiting a comfortable place and entering an area that could be the launching pad for you. Every time you go through an exit, whether it is job related or personal, you are making an entrance into a new opportunity. The only way for you to enter into the next level of your career is to exit the current level. That’s what positive change does—it exits the status quo and enters into a new beginning.

The success of any change depends, in large measure, on your attitude about that change.

Henry Ford once said, “One of the great discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do what he was afraid he couldn’t do.” He was talking about exiting the comfortable and entering the uncomfortable.

You cannot move forward without having the courage to exit the familiar. Courage does not mean that you have no fear. Mark Twain defined courage as “resistance to fear, mastery of fear—not absence of fear.” We walk forward along a path; fear is there too. We keep walking.

Most people think that the opposite of courage is cowardice. That is a good answer, but I think the best answer to the opposite of courage is conformity. Courage is having the guts and the heart to do things differently for the sake of progress. Improvement doesn’t happen by taking the path of least resistance or conforming to the way things have always been done.

Have the courage to be the best you can be. Don’t reflect to others that you don’t care. If your dress, hygiene, attitude, or demeanor reflects apathy, do you think that builds confidence with those around you? If you do not care about yourself, then others, including your employers, will assume that you will not care about and manage, protect, and build their interests.

It is better to understand your weaknesses, acknowledge them, and deal with them than it is to mask them. The first thing to do is admit them. Perhaps only to yourself, but admit them. Write them down. Then you must decide. Will you alter them? Not can you alter them. You can. Will you? If you need help, will you seek it? The fear and fences that you have erected may not be overcome in a day, a week, or a year. But understand that the effort can begin today, this minute. Your choice. Do not let anyone or anything have controlling power over your attitude and actions.

You can do it! It is inside your boat. You can become Indispensable!

Take Action

What are your talents—your areas of expertise?

Does the position for which you aspire to be indispensable align with your talents?

Does the position you are seeking align with the values with which you have chosen to live your life?

Are you willing to pay the price to be indispensable?

What are the excuses that you have offered to convince yourself why you cannot achieve more? Be honest with yourself, and write them down.

Do you have the courage to eliminate those excuses so that you can earn your next promotion?

The Indispensable person takes action and stops making excuses.